Nico didn't mention the car ride and my drunken breakdown the next day, or even the day after that. He didn't mention any of it except as Saturday drew closer and closer and when the impending family dinner was looming just over my head, he suggested (with a sort of hesitation that said it pained him to even say this) that he wouldn't mind going along with me.

"You're suggesting what?" I looked at him, bewildered. "That we fake date for one night?"

Nico looked revolted. "That is not what I said. At all. Didn't you hear me? I meant I won't mind going along with you since you seem so fucking horrified at the mere prospect of going alone."

"But you'd have to pretend to be my boyfriend then. One with the name of Soren."

"Soren." He made a face.

I nodded sadly. If I hadn't been so foolish and not boasted about his name when my mother had asked me all about it on that one phone call, it might've probably not come down to this.

Clearly, neither Nico nor I were comfortable going along with his suggestion. Deep down, I didn't want him to suddenly start regretting befriending me in the first place. Because it wasn't just pretending to be my ex. It would be so much more than that once my mother introduced him to everyone in my family. Nothing was ever taken normally when my mother was concerned. And in a family as large and gossip-loving as mine? Fuck no.

I told just that to Nico when he stopped by my dorm.

"Where's Brooke?" He asked, looking around the other side of my room which belonged to Brooke and most of her stuff. It also happened to be empty and untouched since yesterday.

I waved him in and closed the door shut, looking around for my coat in a hurry as I stuffed an old carry bag with things for the weekend. "Don't know. I haven't really seen her since yesterday morning."

"Not even at night?"

I shook my head. Brooke hadn't been there when I'd fallen asleep. And by the time I woke up, there still hadn't been any sign of her.

Nico hummed thoughtfully. "You'd think that's rather suspicious, no?"

"No," I said and turned to look at him. "Why?"

He just shrugged in response and went over to sit down on Brooke's empty bed, idly smoothing the sheets on either side of him as one of the too-long ends of his woolen scarf draped over his jean-clad knee.

Confused, I turned back around and finished zipping up my bag, only realizing I'd forgotten to grab the coat I'd been looking for when I saw it lying halfway under my bed.

"So." Nico broke the silence, his tone speculating. "If this belongs to your ex truly, why do you still have it?"

I glanced over my shoulder and stopped dead in my tracks when I saw a familiar leather jacket in his hands. The leather jacket.

"I'll give it back to him," I told him in a quiet mumble.

"You'll give it back to him?" He echoed, raising an eyebrow at me. "Aren't you going to burn this?"

Grimacing, I took the jacket from him and neatly folded it. "I'm not going to burn this, Nico."

"Oh. So you're still smitten with him?"

"No." I shook my head. "This isn't Soren's. It's...someone else's."

"Someone else's."

Ryder's, more specifically. "Yeah."

A long beat of silence passed by and I could've felt Nico staring at me in that blunt, processing way.

"What?" I asked.

He gave a dramatic shrug of his shoulders. "Nothing. I'm merely observing."

I turned back to the stuff in hand and decided to say nothing more, even though for a second I knew I could've told him about Ryder. But what would I even say? I wasn't going to ever see him again. What had happened back at Soren's apartment had just been that.

I won't, I thought. I won't see Ryder again.

•••

Only when I was out of the cab and standing in front of my family home in the little town of Hayward, that it hit me all so suddenly. I probably should've taken Nico up on his offer.

At least that way I wouldn't be feeling so extremely odd as I stood right there on the familiar street and in front of the familiar bungalow house. All alone and dreading what came next.

Squaring my shoulders, I took a deep, encouraging breath and walked past the only opening of the wooden fence surrounding the house in front of me. I couldn't help but glance around the street and feel a little less heavy as my eyes flickered from one neighboring house to another.

I'd spent my senior year of high school living in this town and this very house, and even though that hadn't been long, I still had some good memories from here. Especially from the house across from mine--the Collins' house--where I used to spend more than half of my days at. But those were just bits of good memories. And the bad ones, most of the time, outweighed the good ones in the end anyway.

Shaking my head out of it, I flexed my fingers around my carry bag and walked up the porch stairs, shivering a little at the cool breeze that blew past, and pressed on the doorbell.

I was smiling by the time the front door was pulled open from the inside, revealing a middle-aged woman with warm gold streaks in her otherwise charcoal-black hair--the same gold as the fluffy scarf draped over her shoulders.

"Alice, dear!" I was pulled into a hug so fast that it momentarily blew me off guard. She squeezed my shoulders before adding, "It is so good to see you."

I stumbled a little and laughed, hugging her back a little sheepishly. "Hey...um...Aunt Frannie. Oh, it's good to see you too." Especially since the last time I'd seen her was at my cousin's funeral. Fraser's funeral.

My smile wavered a little at that thought but Aunt Frannie was quick enough to usher me along, linking her arm with mine before dragging me inside the house. I only just managed to pull my bag along with me before the door was closed shut.

"Come on in, dear. Come on in. Everyone's so excited to see you after so long."

See, that's what happens when you've got a large bundle of a family that keeps growing and growing with all those newly borns popping up on our family tree. If one gets excited about something, there's a big chance everyone else will be excited as well. And too much excitement can sometimes get a little...overwhelming. Even for me.

"I love your scarf, Auntie," I told her as a late afterthought.

Still worked though since she beamed and pulled me closer. "Oh, Alice, such a gem. I keep telling Maeve how..."

I kind of didn't mean to but still tuned her out when my mother's name was mentioned, mainly because there was still this big issue Aunt Frannie hadn't spoken of yet. Where was my boyfriend who I'd said that I will be bringing along?

Unless Mom hadn't shared any of that with her dear sisters.

"Oh, and where is this Soren I've been hearing so much about?" She stopped abruptly and grinned at me. Aunt Frannie truly never looked old; to me, she looked the same as when I was a little baby. "I've heard approximately eleven good qualities about him and he may as well be the boyfriend of the year with how good he treats you!"

I laughed nervously. "How good he treats me?"

"Oh, your mother mentioned something about this one-year anniversary getaway he's taking you on." Her eyes widened in mock innocence almost as instantly as she finished saying it. "Was that supposed to be a surprise?"

I blinked and my hands had already started to sweat even if it wasn't even that warm in here.

"No...no, of course not." I had to force a smile this time. "I knew about it. Um, it's...not a big deal?"

Aunt Frannie seemed to not be giving all the uncertainty on my face a second glance since she laughed and continued dragging me along towards the lounge.

One year anniversary? I thought in horror. Mom knew Soren and I had started dating only weeks ago!

I really really needed to talk to her. And when I did manage to dodge past all the aunts and uncles and my cousins, and run after my mother who was heading to the kitchens, I was met face to face with Alyssa, my stepsister.

"Oh my God, Alice!" She shrieked and hugged me so tight that I couldn't possibly exhale the breath I'd inhaled just a second ago. "Why did no one tell me you've arrived already?"

I sputtered out a reply but she didn't hear over all the noise and chatter around us. At least not until Mom stepped out of the kitchen and her eyes landed on me.

"Alice! Sweet Lord, Alyssa, let go of her, will you?" She laughed and it was a merry laugh, all right.

Alyssa let go of me with murmurs of apologies and I laughed it off, because if Mom was in a happy mood, then I should be too, shouldn't I?

Before however, I could've said anything, my mother's eyes darted behind me, came back at me in obvious confusion, and she spoke the obvious. "Where's Soren?"

Soren, Soren, Soren. I couldn't believe how many times alone I'd heard his name ever since I'd stepped into this house. Wasn't this supposed to be my house?

"He's...he is, well--"

"Oh, Alice, Matthew's been waiting for you to show up since forever, I swear! Come on!" Alyssa grabbed me by the arm (people just kept manhandling you in this house) and pulled me out of the kitchen and towards the staircase that led upstairs. She stopped momentarily and eyed me. "That was close."

It took me a moment to register that she'd just saved me from Mom's wrath, even though she didn't know the truth. A pang of guilt made me feel funny in the stomach--the bad kind of funny.

"You seemed like you were fetching for an excuse there." She stared at me, cocking her head so softly to the side. "Is everything all right?" Has he dumped you already like all of those foolishly weak attempts of boyfriends you've had before? Was what her warm grey eyes asked me. But Alyssa was too nice to say those exact words out loud.

"Yeah." I nodded. "I'm just a little tired, that's all. And...and everything back at the campus isn't this crowded. Sorry."

She chuckled. "That's nothing to be sorry for. Come now, I wasn't lying about Matthew. He has been waiting for you since the moment he was told that Mum is putting on this family dinner tonight and you're coming home from college."

Glad for a distraction and some quiet finally, I followed her up the stairs to meet my little brother--stepbrother--Matt.

I'd take a few peaceful seconds before my mother and everyone else finds out that there's not going to be any Soren showing up tonight. Or any coming night, for that matter.

By the time night rolled in, I was a little exhausted and a bundle of nerves as I dodged my mom from one corner of the house to the other, moving from one uncle to the next of my cousins, and wondering for probably the hundredth time why our family was so big.

Matt kept me company for fairly most of the evening until someone called him out to the backyard and he went out to play. Mom only managed to corner me two point five times (once to tell me that I should definitely change my attire to something that would suit a family dinner, and the second time to tell me to stop slouching so much and socialize). The third time, I guess, was to ask me where the hell my supposed boyfriend was, but I escaped her claws quite efficiently and just in time.

"And how in the absolute hell did you, my hunbun, end up with a boyfriend?" Aunt Charlotte asked me as she draped one arm over my shoulders and held a glass of wine in her other hand. "I have to meet this special man who finally managed to get you to settle down, love."

I absolutely did not wince at her words. And Alyssa absolutely did not send me a concerned glance over everyone's heads.

I escaped to the kitchen and stepped into one of the corners, right beside the fridge, and counted to fifteen. Sixteen, actually, before I came anywhere near breathing evenly. There was a discarded rubber band lying near my left foot which I noticed in surprise, so I picked it up and pulled it over my left hand.

I was too busy playing with it around my wrist that when Matt ran inside, laughing loudly and carrying a cup of pomegranate juice in one of his hands, he didn't see me and I didn't see him coming either. He slammed into me and spilled the dark red juice on my cream sweater the exact moment Mom also happened to show up.

"Matthew!" She exclaimed and I yelped, grabbing his little shoulders before my nine-year-old brother could've taken the hit and fallen back. "Good heavens, Matthew!"

"I'm sorry!" His eyes widened and the smile slipped off his lips when he noticed the mess he'd made.

I was too busy trying to somehow scrub off the big stain on my sweater, but when I looked up into his big grey eyes (ones he shared with his father and my stepdad) I felt so bad.

Mom continued scolding him and took the cup from his hands.

"Hey, it's fine," I spoke over her, letting go of my sweater and ruffling Matt's bouncy curls. "Really, Mom, it's not a big deal."

"Not for you, Alice." She turned her glare at me and I tried not to shrink away. Key word being tried.

Sighing, I squeezed Matt's shoulder and gently pushed him along. "Go on. I'll clean this up, don't worry."

Mom wasn't happy with it, obviously.

"Just a kid, Mom. They like running around." I whispered as I took two kitchen towels to wipe the mess. "It's all right. Messes are made all the time."

"Like this whole boyfriend thing of yours?" She crossed her arms.

I blinked and looked up at her.

"Alice, have you been lying to me all this time?" She frowned harder. "About this...this Soren of yours? Do you even realize how much of a mess that would be if he doesn't show up after I've told everyone--"

Still caring about the image. Her image.

"I didn't ask you to tell anyone, Mom." I shook my head, voice low and pleading even though I knew I'd just cut her off. My mom hated when I did that.

"Alice." She stared at me, clenching her jaw. "Go and change out of these clothes."

"Mom--"

"No, I am not discussing any of this with you right now when you're wearing this horribly ruined sweater. Do you even remember how expensive it was?"

"But I didn't lie to you."

"Well then where is he?" She hissed.

I didn't realize I'd been twisting the band around my wrist anxiously until a twinge of pain made me look down at the visible red mark.

"Where--"

The doorbell rang, cutting my mother off. I stiffened and so did she.

Someone shouted that they'd see who it was and seconds ticked by. Mom furrowed her brows and I swallowed.

One. Two. Three. Four--

"Alice!" Someone who sounded a lot like my stepsister shouted from the front door. "Someone's here for you!"

Someone's here for me. Oh fuck.

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