Now, Ryan wasn't the most romantic guy ever. He hated PDA. He wasn't a big cuddler. He thought Valentine's Day was stupid. He hate the stupid cliques. Didn't like grand proposals videos. He thought buying flowers was a waste of money. He didn't like saying I love you. He..

Okay so he wasn't romantic at all really.

Ryan was a one night stand kind of guy. No strings, no emotion, no commitment.

Brendon was the complete opposite. He wanted the flowers, moonlight kisses, cute text messages. He wanted it all. Ryan knew what he wanted and it definitely wasn't romance.

Things changed the night Ryan met the brown eyed man. He was drawn to Brendon in a way he never felt before. He spent the whole night chasing after the man who was playing so hard to get.

That night turned into a date then two then many. The dates turned into a kiss then makeout sessions. The sessions slowly progressed into sex. When Ryan finally got what he was after all those nights before, he was too invested to want to let Brendon go.

Two years later, Ryan wasn't as stubborn with romance as before. He still struggled to deal with the handholding and small kisses in public. He spooned the younger while they slept at night. He always accepted the little gifts Brendon got him.

Brendon didn't force the affection, knowing Ryan wasn't completely comfortable with it. He was grateful for those rare moments when he came home to a small bouquet of flowers. It was the little things Ryan did to show his love that Brendon cared about.

Even being complete opposites, they were happy together. They didn't like being apart from each other for too long. So when Brendon needed to go on a business trip for two weeks, Ryan was upset.

"You can't just ignore me," Brendon whined. Ryan didn't say anything as he continued cooking dinner. Brendon sighed and went behind him to wrap his arms around his boyfriend.

Ryan's movements stilled when he felt a soft kiss in the middle of his back. Brendon nuzzled his cheek between the other's shoulder blades. His arms stayed tight around his boyfriend.

"Tell them to get someone else," Ryan spoke up.

"My flight's tomorrow."

"Tell them you're sick." Brendon grinned.

"I can't do that."

"Quit," his voice stayed low and emotionless. Brendon gave a small chuckle.

"Babe." Ryan put down the knife he was holding. He braced his hands on the counter, dropped his head and sighed. "It'll be okay. It's just two weeks." Ryan shut his eyes and frowned.

He had gotten so used to having another body in his arms in bed. He didn't want to go through two whole weeks without that comfort. He didn't want Brendon to leave.

That night, Ryan showed how much he loved and cared for his boyfriend. He worshipped every inch of his flawless body. He moved slow and deeply in him, bringing the man to paradise again and again. He held him securely in his arms, not wishing to ever let go.

They communicated solely through physical contact, leaving nothing untouched or unsaid. They fell into a peaceful sleep until Brendon's alarm woke them the next morning. They made silent promises sealed with kisses.

The drive to the airport was silent. Ryan kept his hand locked with Brendon's the whole way. Brendon sensed his hesitance for the affection when he was getting checked in. He unclasped their hands, but kept close enough to brush up against each other often.

Ryan was trying to hide his smile and he glanced over at Brendon. He mouthed a small 'thank you'. Soon, the couple were sitting by the gate waiting for Brendon to board.

"Make sure to call me when you land."

"I will." Brendon watched Ryan bouncing his knee wildly. Ryan hadn't been looking at him too often, but Brendon knew how upset he was with the whole situation.

"Also when you get to the hotel. We can facetime tonight before you go to bed."

"Okay, baby." Ryan let out a sigh as he scanned the room.

"If things get to stressful, don't hesitate to text or call. I'll be there so you can rant if you need that. I don't care about the time difference."

"Will do." Brendon was barely paying attention to Ryan's rambling. He was focusing how his nervous antics.

"If you decide to go out to a club or something, I'm fine with that. Just make sure that if anyone tries to hit on you, let them know that you're taken. I won't hesitate to fly down there and beat some disrespectful prick who's bugging you."

"I wasn't planning on going out."

"Well in case you do. I want you to have fun. A-and if you want to come back early, just let me know. I'll book you another flight and be here waiting."

"Ry," he spoke softly and reached a hand over to put over Ryan's. The nervous man looked up, his eyes full of worry. "I love you too." Ryan let out a sigh paired with a smile.

Flight 3782 now boarding.

Ryan stood up quick and ran a hand through his hair. He kept the hand at the back of his neck and let out another sigh.

"You gotta go," his spoke in a small voice. He sounded like a child who was being separated from their mother, knowing why she was leaving but still being upset over her absence.

"I'll be back soon," Brendon said as he stood up. He reached for his carry on before two hands grabbed his face and pulled him into a kiss.

He immediately reciprocated before Ryan pulled away. It wasn't long, but it was more meaningful than a quick peck. It was Ryan's way of saying 'I love you'. Brendon grinned as Ryan looked around too see if anyone saw.

"Two weeks?" Ryan finally looked back at Brendon.

"Two weeks," he confirmed with a nod. Ryan nodded himself and took a deep breath. Brendon's eyes darted down to Ryan's lips for a second before looking back up. Ryan smiled, seeing the small movement. He leaned back down and planted another kiss on Brendon's lips.

"I'll be back to pick you up then." Brendon nodded again and grabbed his bag. He went to the gate and handed the employee his ticket. Before disappearing passed the doors, he turned to see Ryan still standing, waiting until he couldn't see his boyfriend anymore.

Brendon pulled his lip between his teeth, smiled and he moved into the plane to find his seat. He could still taste Ryan on his lips. Yeah, the man wasn't a romantic, but he was trying and Brendon loved him for it.

~~~

The two weeks moved impossibly slow. Ryan wasn't satisfied with just the night video calls, the texts, and regular calls. He was going mad in the house. He kept thinking about what he'd do when Brendon came back. He wanted to do something special. Brendon deserved it.

The day before Brendon was supposed to come home, Ryan went to several stores, awkwardly buying a giant stuffed animal, a few dozen candles and a large bouquet of eoses with extras that he would use only for the petals. After some debating and room pacing, Ryan went out and bought his boyfriend a ring.

He was at the airport early, more nervous than before when he dropped Brendon off. He had his friend, Spencer, help him set up their bedroom with the gifts he bought. He kept the ring box in his pocket which he realized only made him more nervous.

As the time ticked closer to Brendon's landing time, his heart beat harder and harder. He found it hard to sit still when the landing time creeped past him. The plane was late. His phone buzzed, allowing some sort of distraction.

"Hello?"

"Where are you?" Ryan immediately recognized Spencer's panicked voice.

"I'm still at the airport. I'm waiting for Brendon." He was confused why Spencer asked. They had a whole plan. He should've known where he was.

"I'm coming to get you don't leave." His voice was stern. Ryan could tell he was running by how breathless he was.

"What? Why?" Ryan looked around the airport. Everyone was calm going about their days.

"Ryan, listen to me. I need you to just stay there. You hear me? I need you to stay on the phone till I get there."

"Spence, what's goi-" He watched someone rush by and move to a forming crowd not far from him.

"Just sit there and wait. I'll be there soon." Ryan got up and went to where the crowd was at. He heard worried voices and even some crying.

"Spencer?" Ryan felt his stomach fill with new nerves. "What's happening?"

"Don't move Ry. I'll explain when I get there." Ryan noticed the tv screens that everyone was focused on. His eyes grew wide when he saw an aerial view of a plane crashed in what looked like a desert.

"Spence," his voice was weaker, almost gone. His mouth dropped and a quick gasp left his mouth as he read the caption lining the bottom of the screen.

Flight 2841 from New York to Los Angeles has crashed outside Las Vegas

"Spe-," Ryan cut off with a harsh breath. His next inhale burned his lungs.

"Ryan, stay there." Tears pricked his eyes. He was panting for air but still felt like he was suffocating. "Ryan, listen to me." Ryan shook his head and looked around the airport. He started noticing small crowds huddling in front of the tvs. Low murmurs filled the room. He wasn't even sure he was breathing anymore.

"Br-Brendon," Ryan let out before dropping the phone from his ear. Spencer was shouting from the phone. Ryan would've probably been able to hear him if his ears weren't pounding.

Air. He needed air. He saw himself moving without feeling his body. Soon, the automatic doors opened leading him to the outside. The sun beat down on him. A small breeze filled him with fresh air. He looked around at the people coming out of taxis, moving to the parking garages, getting on buses. All living their own lives, not know what just happened.

He could vaguely hear Spencer still shouting through the reciever. He needed to get away from here. He couldn't be here. He headed to the garage where he parked. He found himself walking past rows and rows of cars not being able to remember where he parked.

Every small noise caused him to turn with a jerk. His body felt like it was burning. Everything felt like it was in slow motion. His vision seemed to blur, making it harder to finding his car.

After enough struggle, he finally stood at the driver's side of his car. He held the keys in front of him, fumbling through the chain. He tried to keep his breath even and his hand steady as he tried to stick the key into the lock.

His vision blurred more and his cheeks dampened. He had to continuously bring his arm up to wipe his face with his sleeve. He couldn't keep his grip on the key, letting it fall to the floor with a loud clank. When he went to pick it up, he couldn't hold his weight, forcing him to drop to his knees.

He kept his hands on the cement to support his upper body. A wave of nausea hit him and he had to keep himself from throwing up. He hadn't realized Spencer still trying to talk to him on the phone. It laid beside his hand. He didn't know even when he let it go.

"Ryan, where are you?" Ryan let out a loud sob and dropped his forehead to the ground.

"S-spe-ncer," he choked out.

"Where are you? Tell me where you are." Spencer sounded more frantic than earlier.

"Br-Bren-don," he couldn't breath again. He swore he was dying.

"You gotta tell me where you're at bud. I'm coming just tell me where you are."

"F-first f-flo," he couldn't finish.

"In the airport?"

"Ca-ar," he cried softly. His tears were dripping into small puddles on the floor. His hands clenched into fists, his knuckles scrapped the floor. He didn't know how long he was in that position before he felt someone wrapped their arms around him.

"I'm here, Ry. I'm right here." Ryan quickly repositioned and buried his face in his friend's shirt. It didn't take long for his tears to soak the front.

"Spence," Ryan whispered. The man held him tightly.

"Where are his keys?" Ryan looked up and saw Jon squating beside them. He looked over at Spencer, glad he didn't have to speak.

"He's taking your car home. You're gonna ride with me. Alright?" He spoke soft and slow. Ryan nodded and sniffed.

The two men helped Ryan into the passenger seat of Jon's car. He left his phone and keys on the floor. He trusted Jon would grab them.

Ryan leaned his head on the window, staring out but not paying attention to his surroundings. He didn't pay attention to Jon talking on the bluetooth through the car. The words were all jumbled and foreign in his ears anyway. He let the pain push him into a numbing sleep.

It wasn't till three hours later that he forced himself awake. He lifted his head, squinting at the bright light. He looked around, confused at why he was still in the car.

"Well, call again. Please, Jon." He looked over at Spencer who was looking forward, talking on the phone.

"Does he know?" He heard Jon talk through the speakers.

"No. He's still asleep."

"Alright, I'll call you later."

"Thanks." Spencer clicked a button on the steering wheel, ending the call. He let out a sigh and ran a hand through his hair. He glanced over at Ryan quickly before looking back at the road. "Hey bud, how you doing?"

"Spencer?" He looked around at where they were, seeing mainly desert. "W-where are we go-ing," he hiccuped.

"The plane crashed, Ry," Spencer started off. It wasn't a good start and only caused fresh tears to form in Ryan's eyes. "Don't get your hopes up because nothing is certain." Ryan nodded slowly. Spencer let out a sigh and gripped the steering wheel tighter. "They were survivors."

Ryan sat up in his seat, mouth slightly open. He looked out the window as if he'd see a crashed plane and Brendon standing there, waiting to get picked up.

"W-where are we going?" He tried not to sound to hopeful, but the thought of Brendon still being alive was too strong to ignore. He needed to be alive because Ryan couldn't handle being without him.

"The hospital where they were taken to. Jon's been calling to see if he's there, but apparently the lines are busy from people calling so much and the systems haven't been update quick enough or whatever."

"Spence, what if.. what if he made it." Spencer looked over, pained to see the desperate look on Ryan's face.

"Ry," he paused for a moment. "It's possible yes, but it's just as possible that..." He chewed his bottom lip not wanting to finish the sentence. "We don't know how many actually made it."

The rest of the ride was excruciatingly slow. The silence dragged on for miles. Jon had called again saying that there still wasn't any news. When they finally parked outside he emergency room, Spencer had to practically hold Ryan back from sprinting into the hospital and causing a scene.

"Let me do the talking."

"But I-."

"No," Spence said firmly. "I don't want you to go psycho on people." Ryan frowned but nodded. Spencer was moving too slow for his liking. He stabbed his nails into his palms to distract himself as they got to the front desk.

"Hi, we're here to see if Brendon Urie is here. He would've been one of the survivors from the plane crash." Ryan squeezed his eyes shut. His heart was thumping in his ears.

"All the survivors are still getting checked out. We don't know how long it'll be before everyone is checked in."

"Is there anyway you could see if he's one that's already checked in?" Spencer kept his voice calm and steady. It drove Ryan wild.

"We will have the names of the patients out when all of them have been checked in. Until then, I am not allowed to release any names yet." Ryan groaned in frustration. He leaned onto the counter, his palms spread over the surface. He kept his head low and eyes shut.

"My boyfriend was on the plane," he whispered. "He was supposed to be coming home. I was gonna propose. I-I need to know if he's here."

"I'm sorry sir. Policy states -" Ryan looked up, eyes bloodshot red and body slightly trembling.

"You don't understand. I need him. He's the best thing I've ever had in my life. Brendon Urie. I need to know if he's okay. Please," he squeaked out. She gave a soft sigh before giving a nod.

"Okay." Ryan let out a sigh of relief.

"Thank you. Thank you." She started looking through the computer. Each click of the keyboard caused a knot in his stomach. After a couple minutes she looked back up at Ryan with sad eyes.

"I'm sorry. I don't see a record of a Brendon Urie." Ryan kept the air escape his lungs with a small sigh. He shook his head softly.

"A-are you sure? It's B-R-E-N-D-O-N U-R-I-E. It's hard to spell. Are you sure he's not here?" The lady looked at the screen again and shook her head.

"I'm sorry, but there's no Brendon Urie checked in." Ryan took a step back, his heart dropping to his feet. He can't... he can't be gone...

"Like I mentioned before, not everyone who's been brought in has been fully checked yet. We are still getting updates." Ryan was barely listening. He was trying to keep himself composed. He didn't want this to be real. "If you sit in the waiting room, we'll come out if we hear anything."

"Thank you," Spencer spoke up before guiding Ryan to the waiting room. When he got Ryan in a chair, the man leaned forward, elbows on his knees, and buried his face in his hands. "Hey, it'll be okay."

"You know, he wanted more," Ryan mumbled.

"What do you mean?" Ryan leaned back on the chair, wiping under his nose with the back of his hand.

"He wanted me to be more romantic, he just didn't want to ask." His eyes stayed looking at the floor ahead of him. He was slouched back with his head slightly tilted. "He wanted all the flowers, candlelit dinners, late moonlight walks, all of it."

"You guy have done those things before." Ryan shook his head gently.

"I should've done it more. He was always content with my level of affection. I should've tried to give him more. I shouldn't hesitate to kiss him in public just because I didn't want to be that couple. We haven't celebrated valentine's day. I don't even give him flowers. I just treat it like a regular day."

"Ry, you can't be so hard on yourself." Ryan let out a dry chuckle.

"He's too good for me. Always has been. Now, I might not even get the chance make it up to him." Spencer watched helplessly as a single tear dripped from the corner of his friend's eye. "Thank you for bringing me here. I hope it wasn't for nothing."

"Ryan," Spencer started, but the man shook his head to stop him. They both sat useless, waiting for any news.

An hour dragged by. More people gathered in the waiting room, some mirroring the mess Ryan was. He kept zoning in and out, only paying attention when the nurse behind the counter would get up and walk up to someone.

He'd seen two things so far; those who broke down in a sobbing mess, collapsing into the people they brought and those who's shined with relief and cried tears of joy. He didn't want to know which group he'd end up belonging to. He zoned back out, keeping an image of Brendon in his head.

At some point, officers came in and explained something about the pilot being able to get the plane low enough before crashing and there weren't many casualties. Ryan was barely paying attention. None of that really mattered because his Brendon might not be here anymore.

A few quick slaps on his arm pushed him out of his daze. He looked over at Spencer with a frown before looking forward. He noticed the nurse coming up to him with a clipboard.

He stood up quickly, his heart racing back to life again. A part of him was praying to a God he didn't even believe in. He hoped and wished and dreamed for all this to go away. He waiting in anticipation as the nurse stopped in from of him.

"Brendon Urie?" Ryan nodded quickly. She looked back down at the clipboard and then to Ryan. "He just got done going through tests. He does have a broke leg and arm and a minor concussion. Nothing too severe and he's resting right now. He's very lucky these injuries weren't bad."

"H-he's alive," Ryan breathed out. The nurse nodded with a smile. Ryan almost collapsed, but his friend was there to catch him. He turned to hug Spencer and pressed his face into his shoulder. "He's alive. He's alive," he kept whispering in disbelief and relief.

"He's okay, Ry," Spencer comforted. Ryan squeezed his eyes shut and gripped onto his friend's shirt.

"Would you like to see him?" Ryan turned back to the nurse and nodded. "He's resting so only one for now." Ryan turned back to Spencer who smiled.

"Go ahead. I'll wait here." Ryan smiled back and let himself be led further into the hospital. He peeked into every open door as if Brendon would be inside waiting. He was finally stopped outside a door.

Once the nurse open it, it revealed a sleeping boy inside. Ryan let out a small sob when he saw Brendon. He rushed to his side and gripped his hand.

His left leg and right arm were wrapped in casts. He had a large purple bruise on his cheek. His eyes were shut making him look so peaceful.

"Brendon," he whispered softly and placed a shaky kiss on his forehead.

"It might be a while before he wakes up, but he's gonna be okay. A nurse will be by later to check on him." Ryan thanked her before she left.

He pulled up a chair, not letting go of Brendon's uninjured hand. He kept kissing the back of his hand.

"I thought I lost you," he whispered. "I was so scared." He felt new tears coming him. He let out a sigh. "I had something special planned. I was waiting at the airport and Spencer called. He was talking so fast and I didn't understand." Leaning forward, he rest his head gently on Brendon's stomach. "It felt like my world collapsed."

He looked up at the sleeping boy and waited for an answer. When one didn't come, he sighed. He stared up at him, taking in every feature. The scar in his eyebrow, his full lips, almost black hair falling over his face. He looked as beautiful as he always did, no matter what he was doing.

He's alive is all Ryan could think about. He was still here.

~~~

By the next morning, the doctor came in and explained what was going on. They wanted to run a few more tests before they discharge Brendon just in case something developed over night. They told Ryan to wait in the hall while they checked on him, so Ryan hadn't seen him awake yet.

As they took him away, he called Spencer to let him know what was going on. Some point during the night, Jon had came to pick Spencer up and leave Ryan's car. They rented a hotel nearby to spend the night.

"So they'll discharge him today?"

"If everything looks fine, yeah." Ryan smiled and chuckled softly.

"That's great news."

"Yeah. They said he should be back in an hour."

"You want us to come down?"

"Actully I need your help with something," Ryan's smile grew.

~~~

With Spencer, Jon and some of the nurses help, the tests were delayed giving Ryan enough time to shower and change. The small team helped him prepare. All he had to do was wait after everything was set.

He stood nervously by the empty bed, waiting for his boyfriend to come back. He felt himself smile when he heard a laugh coming from down the hall. It was like music to his ears. He felt his face heat up as he chewed his bottom lip. It was time.

He saw his boyfriend getting pushed in on a wheelchair. He was looking up at the nurse, talking her ear off. Ryan recognized her as one of the women who joined in on his plan.

"Hey babe," Ryan spoke up. Brendon cut off and looked forward. His mouth fell when he saw his boyfriend dressed in a button down shirt with a vest over it, standing in a room filled with flowers, stuffed animals and heart balloons.

"What's going on?" Brendon asked slowly as he was taken to the bed. He looked around as he was helped onto the bed. Ryan surprised him with a kiss on the lips. Brendon kissed back for a second before he pulled away. "The nurse is still here," he whispered.

He looked over at the door, seeing a small group of nurses huddled at the door and window looking into the room. He looked back to Ryan and was caught in another kiss. He smiled and melted into it.

"Ry, what's going on?" Brendon whispered.

"I got these for you," Ryan whispered back. He gave Brendon another peck before turning around. Brendon looked over to the door at the giggling women. He noticed someone familiar holding up a camera. He didn't focus on who it was because he was handed a bouquet with a couple dozen long stemed red roses tied with a ribbon.

"Holy crap." Brendon's eyes were big. He looked up at Ryan who was smiling down at him.

"Do you like them?" Brendon looked at the flowers in his arms. They were gorgeous. He could tell they were expensive. He looked around the room at the other arrangements. There was so much. He looked back to the crowd then down.

He understood why Ryan didn't like any PDA, the feeling of being watched was unnerving. Ryan took his hand, locking their fingers together. Brendon kept his eyes on their joined hands. Ryan was never the one to initiate this contact in public.

"Ryan, what are you doing?" The actions made him nervous.

"This is what you want isn't it, babe?" Ryan chuckled softly. Brendon shook his head sheepishly and pulled away.

"I wouldn't ask you to do that for me. I know how uncomfortable it makes you and I'm okay with that." Ryan shook his head and bent over to give his boyfriend a kiss. Brendon took it gratefully. He only ever got this much attention when they were alone at home.

"I want to do this, Bren. I want everyone to know how much I love you. I want them to know you're mine and I'm all yours. I want to give you everything you deserve. I want to show how much I love you every second," he stopped to give another small kiss, "of every day," another kiss, "for the rest of our lives."

He sealed the space with a longer kiss. Brendon's worried nerves were replaced with butterflies. His heart started racing. They pulled away, keeping their foreheads together.

"What are you trying to say?" Brendon bit his bottom lip with a smile. He watched Ryan pull away and settle down on one knee. His eyes widened as Ryan pulled out the small box he'd been carrying since he went to pick up Brendon.

"I'm saying I want to love and cherish you for the rest of our lives. And I'm asking you to marry me." Brendon's eyes stayed on Ryan's. He could see the nervousness in his boyfriend.

"Hold on," Brendon sat up straight. "You're telling me that after years of being together, after I get into a plane crash, you want to do all this romantic stuff like coming into my hospital room to decorate it while I'm gone and I'm pretty sure they helped because you couldn't do this alone," he pointed at the nurses before continuing. "To tell me you want to spend the rest of your life with me and give me a ring?"

"Um, y-yeah," Ryan stuttered and ducked his head down a little. He kept the box up in his arms, feeling like it suddenly weighed a ton.

"To be fair, he was gonna propose when you got home. You have a bunch of dying flowers all over your place," Brendon heard Spencer's voice coming from the door. He laughed softly and looked back down at Ryan.

"That's very clique, Ry." Ryan felt his smile falter and he slowly lowered his hand.

"I-is that a n-no?" He suddenly felt very stupid for this whole display. He dropped his head and looked down at the ring he desperately wanted to put on Brendon's finger.

"Are you kidding? Fuck yes I wanna marry you." Ryan's head shot up.

"Really?" Brendon nodded with a wide smile. Ryan circled an arm around Brendon's waist and pulled him into a kiss. It was hard than he intended it to be, but he couldn't contain his excitement.

"I love you," Ryan murmered into the kiss. Brendin pulled away with a giggle.

"I love you too."

"I'm so glad I broke my right arm and not my left," Brendon commented as Ryan grabbed the ring and slide it onto his ring finger. Brendon was gleaming as he stared at his hand.

"Holy shit," he breathed. He rose his hand so the nurses could see and squealed. "I'm getting married." Ryan laughed when the girls and few boys joined in the squealing. They rushed to him to look at the ring. Ryan made sure to keep close to his fiance. He didn't want to be too far from him.

He only pulled away when Spencer came up to him to give him a hug. Jon, who recorded the whole thing, came up and congratulated him. They waited for the nurses to go back to work before congratulating the couple again. Ryan laid on the bed, holding Brendon in his arms while Jon and Spencer took the two chairs in the room.

"Maybe I should get into accidents more often," Brendon joked. Ryan's hold tightened. He shook his head and kissed Brendon's hair.

"I'd rather you not. I don't think I could go through that again." Brendon looked up and kissed Ryan again.

"Don't worry. I'm not going anywhere."

When they left the hospital, Ryan wouldn't leave Brendon's side. He always made sure to have some form of contact with him. He wanted to prove his love every day.

Months after the accident, Ryan continued to hold Brendon close no matter where they were. He didn't hesitate to kiss Brendon in public. He proudly bought the boy mountains of flowers and took him on cheesy dates. He didn't hold back. He was going to love Brendon for the rest of his life like he promised.