"We're done." Ryan stood there staring blank faced. Brendon's shoulders were stiff, fists clenched tightly, body shaking with anger. When there was no response, Brendon repeated, "we're done."

Ryan remained still, eyes focused on the wall behind Brendon. His mouth remained in a straight line, unwilling to open. His eyes seemed to blink in disinterest. Brendon let out a frustrated laugh as he ran a hand roughly through his hair.

"Well, are you going to say something?" Brendon waited like he always did. Occasionally, he was lucky enough to get a response. Today was not one of those days.

He began pacing to exert his energy in any way while Ryan stood stone still. After Brendon had said those two words, his mind went blank. His body shut down. He couldn't let himself feel hurt or betrayed or anything really. He needed to protect himself the only way he knew how.

"You're a real piece of work you know that? I tried and tried and tried to help you. I don't understand why you keep shutting down. Why is it so hard for you to trust me?" His voice was sharp enough to cut up Ryan's heart if he didn't keep his wall up.

Before Ryan knew it, Brendon was standing in front of him, hands on the side of his head forcing them to make eye contact.

"I love you, Ryan. You know that, but I can't keep being in a relationship with a statue. I need to you to be present all the time. Highs and lows. I can't keep... I can't," Brendon's voice lost its edge but still hid frustration below the surface.

Brendon leaned forward and crashed their lips together. He moved against Ryan roughly until eventually Ryan moved with him. Brendon let out a small moan, not sexual just emotional. When they pulled away, Brendon pressed their foreheads together.

His breathing was heavy. Ryan watched Brendon, still not speaking. Brendon's eyes were closed and his hands that had moved from the sides of Ryan's head were now gripping the older's hair.

"Ryan... tell me you love me.. because I know you do," he said as he opened up his eyes. His voice was laced with deperation. "Tell me want me to stay and I'll stay." A thin layer of tears began forming in Brendon's eyes. "I'll stay... but you need to say something."

Ryan only watched him. He thought he could see Brendon's heart breaking by the way he let out a shaky breath or how his hands lost the strength to grip his hair and pulled away or how his eyes turned away as he took a few steps back.

Brendon's arms wrapped around himself as he nodded. Ryan saw tears falling down his cheeks. He didn't say anything and just watched.

"Okay," Brendon said with another nod. "I'll just go then." His voice was soft and wavy. Ryan didn't watch as Brendon walked out of the room. He heard the door open and assumed Brendon had stood there in case Ryan changed his mind by the delay of it closing again.

He didn't move. He wasn't really paying attention to the wall in front of him anymore. He didn't hear the door open again or the arm that guided him out of the room and to his own bed. The familiar arms wrapped around him when he was in bed.

"What happened?" The familiar voice was gentle. Ryan buried his face into the man's chest. His body deciding it was safe enough to function again, allowing all the pain that was ignored to settle over Ryan.

He let a choked breath that turned into a painful sob. He soon soaked the man's shirt and was not letting up any time soon. He felt a comforting hand rubbing over his back.

"Ry? What happened?" Ryan looked up through teary eyes. He could make out a blurry version of his best friend, Spencer, before shutting his eyes.

"H-he wanted t-to break up," Ryan hiccupped. "He w-wanted m-me to ta-lk, bu-but I coul-dn't." Ryan's voice turned into a cry when he spoke the last few words.

"I thought things were going well with Brendon. You told me you didn't feel like you needed to shut down with him." Ryan let out a small whimper.

He knew when that changed. It was after Brendon said he loved him and Ryan knew he felt the same. The problem with love was that it meant giving the other everything they are. With that power over Ryan, Brendon could very easily hurt him and he didn't want to let that happen. Guess that came back to bite him in the ass.

"I l-love h-im," Ryan struggled to say. That was the first time he admitted it out loud.

"I know Ry." Ryan body seemed to shake more no matter how comforting Spencer was trying to be.

"I d-didn't tell h-him."

"It's okay. It's gonna be okay." Ryan shook his head and clung tightly to the front of Spencer's shirt.

"Fix it," he said when his crying had calm down. Ryan's throat was raw from crying so much.

"Fix it?" Ryan nodded.

"Fix it. M-make it okay a-again."

"Ry, I don't know how to do that." Ryan shook his head and kept his eyes tightly shut.

"You always fix e-verything. Make i-it better. Make me b-better." Ryan's voice got softer. Spencer ran a hand through his hair. He'd known Ryan his whole life which allowed him to see this side of the boy. He was there through the childhood trauma that led to Ryan's shutdowns. He understood why, but he didn't know how to stop it.

He held onto the trembling boy trying to figure out the words that will only break Ryan's heart more. He tried, but there was nothing he could think to say.

"Ry... I can't." Ryan let out a defeat sob and nodded.

"Okay," he said weakly. Ryan pulled away from Spencer and sat up, leaning on the headboard. He wiped his tears and stared at the wall on the other side of the room.

Spencer watched in initial confusion. Ryan's body slowly stopped shaking, the tears stopped falling and the realization finally hit Spencer.

"Ryan," he spoke quickly and placed a hand on Ryan's shoulder. "Don't do that." There was no response. "You don't have to do that. We'll figure it out." Spencer spoke hastily as he was watched his best friend shut down for the first time with him.

Ryan didn't look away from the wall, didn't move, didn't speak. If Spencer couldn't help him get rid of the pain, then he'll just do it himself.