Oscar and Royal hadn't found Cinder yet when Royal got a call from Raven.

"What?" he said after a few minutes. "Did she say why?"

Oscar heard Raven speak a little louder. "She's an idiot, but if she's going to be such a pill about it, I might as well humor her till she comes to her senses. Just won't send her out on anything."

"So that's it?" Royal said.

"You figure it out," Raven said. "I don't have the energy for this. Whatever went down there, I'm sure you and Pine can handle it."

"How did you know he was here?" Royal asked.

"Theo already told me you all were coming," Raven said. "It's getting late, and I have work to finish. Bye."

She hung up.

"What's going on?" Oscar asked.

"I'm going to strangle her," Royal said.

"Who?" Oscar asked.

"Cinder," Royal said.

"What'd she do now?" Vara walked past them on her way out of the kitchen. "Shouldn't you boys be on your way back to Argus?"

"Theo wants us to stay the night," Oscar said. "Not fly that much. We are pretty tired."

"Hmm." Vara popped open a bag of some snack. "Cinder's on the parapets, if you want to know."

"Oh, I guess we should have thought of that," Oscar said. "Isn't she concerned about leaving?"

"No," Vara said. "I wouldn't go up there if I were you, Pine. She can be such a b---h when she's angry."

"Angry about what?" Oscar asked. "I wish someone would tell me something."

"She could have at least warned me," Royal said, crossly. "I mean, I get it, but still. Normally, she at least would tell you she was pissed off."

"Women, right?" Vara said, between mouthfuls.

"But you're a woman..." Oscar was confused.

Royal headed for the stairs.

"I... Why are you guys so dramatic all the time?" Oscar asked.

"I don't know, but, since you're here, make me some tea, will you?" Vara said. "I'm not any good at it, and Theo is still busy with Watts."

Oscar sighed but had no real reason to say no.

* * *

Cinder was pacing and staring at the horizon by turns, wondering what to do next, when Royal startled her.

"Hey," he said, already sounding mad, "what the h--- is with you?"

Cinder didn't see why he was mad until she realized Raven had to have called him.

Already!? She didn't even give them a chance to get back to Argus first. What a jerk! Now that flight back was going to be awkward...or more awkward.

"I don't know what you mean," she lied.

"I just got a call from Raven." Royal told her what she already knew. "She said you requested that we not be partners anymore. More like demanded it, actually. I can't believe you did that without telling me first."

"Do I have to tell you?" Cinder bristled.

"It would be nice to get a heads up," Royal said saltily. "If this is about what I said earlier today, there was no need to do it like this. Could have just said then what you thought."

Cinder figured that was a better excuse to use than the real reason.

"I've had time to think about it since then," she said. "And it's just not going to work for me anymore, so that's all there is to it. Anyway it wasn't like it was that real. It was just to make the assignment easier, but there's so many people working on this now, it won't be necessary."

Royal gave her a long look. "So that's it?"

"What's it?" Cinder said.

"That's all I get?"

"Why would you get more than that?" she said, more uncomfortable still.

"I guess I should have expected this," Royal said. "I thought at least that you would trust me to accept it in person, but, I guess not. This is the first time since I've known you that you've actually really bothered me by anything you've done...well, one of the only times."

Cinder didn't expect that to make her feel as bad as it did, but it kind of stung.

"I can't believe this is where you draw the line." She tried to stay cold. "It's far from reprehensible."

"No, it's not that," Royal said, still salty. "But it is still unkind. I'm not a complete doormat."

"I don't know why you'd call this unkind compared to how I usually act," Cinder said. "I don't want to discuss it."

"Or anything else," Royal said. "I just don't get it... After what you said to Vivian, I kind of thought maybe things weren't quite as bad as they seemed. This doesn't make sense to me. But I can see you are not going to explain yourself."

"Don't lecture me," Cinder said.

"I'm not. Does this sound like a lecture?"

Actually it sounded far more like hurt feelings.

"And don't read into things," Cinder added.  "What did you think it meant? That I like you?"

She meant to make this sound crushingly scornful...however, it didn't come out quite as harsh as she meant.

"I don't know," Royal shot back. "Technically, you never said you didn't."

Cinder had thought she had...but no...come to think of it, she hadn't.

Seemed like a strange oversight on her part.

"Well, I don't," she said. 

Then, feeling this wasn't going to be persuasive enough, she barreled on, probably unwisely. "I wouldn't feel that way about anyone. I can't imagine why you would think any different."

"Here and there there were moments I thought might mean something," Royal said, rather subdued compared to how he'd been speaking before. "But people do see things that aren't there, I guess."

"Well, that's true." Cinder turned her back to glare at the night sky again.

This whole thing was ridiculous, she decided. What was he even thinking?

"Besides," she said aloud, "I don't think you really like me either."

"Okay, I can take the rest of it," Royal said, "but are you seriously going to tell me what I think now?"

 He sounded so annoyed, it was almost funny.

Like it was so unbelievable that anyone would tell him what he thought. Talk about privileged.

Actually, that was all Atlas did.

"Maybe you have this idea of me in your head," she said, not looking back still, perhaps because she knew this was probably BS. "I don't know what, but I guess I can do some impressive things... Maybe it's easy to forget the rest of it, but the truth will always come back around. Really, you should thank me for putting a stop to this before it goes further. People will talk if you keep on being so careless, and it's not like it was going to last. Just a brief attraction is all it amounts to in the end."

"Okay, that is actually insulting." Royal was still mad, but he was also starting to get concerned also. "So now I'm a player... I've been called that before, but only by people who were already players themselves, in some way."

"I just think you don't understand things very well." Cinder had no idea what she was saying anymore but was at the point of tension where she had to keep talking almost by compulsion. "It would be a mistake to be with anyone like me seriously, and as a short fling, it really only hurts your reputation."

"And now you're talking yourself down as well as me," Royal said. "You love to rub salt in the wound. I guess Mercury was right about that, but this is a new way to do it."

"Shut up!" Cinder was getting pretty excited--not in the good way--and he was making her mad now. She turned around to give him an angry look. "Stop acting like this is my fault. You started it."

"And you could have left it alone. I told you I wouldn't push you," Royal said, crossing his arms. "But I won't just take this either. How dare you."

"How dare I?" Cinder was taken aback by that word choice--and annoyed.

"Yeah, I said it," Royal said. "You can turn me down, and that's your right, but you can look at my face and lie to me about why? That's not okay. Especially when you're lying about me and my character. I take that seriously, and you should know that by now."

"Of course I know that. That's why I know you're clearly not thinking straight," Cinder replied. "You do not like me. I'm not..." She paused. 

"Not what?" Royal wasn't just going to let that hang.

"Whatever it is you think you like," Cinder said. "That. And I know that. I'm not stupid enough to think otherwise."

"It sounds like you're stupid enough to think that's not BS, if you're serious," Royal said. "Why on Remnant would you say that? Who else are you? If you're going to say you've been acting all this time, I'd like to know when you ever drop the act. All your friends and I seem to have the same basic idea of who you are. You'd have to be pretty good to fool that many people."

"I don't think that's the same," Cinder said. "Forced proximity sometimes does things to people, but once the danger is past, things will settle down and any ideas about this will fade."

"Because it's just that? The suspension bridge effect?" Royal said.

"Yes," Cinder said.

That seemed like the best excuse.

Royal just laughed at her. Not meanly, really, more like ironically.

"What's so funny?" She frowned.

"Cinder, how long do you think I've liked you?" Royal asked, almost relaxed compared to how mad he'd been before.

"I...I don't know... A few months?" Cinder hadn't really noticed it before that time.

"No." Royal shook his head. "I think pretty much from the day we met."

"What?" Cinder blanched.

"I mean, I wouldn't have put that name on it, but I felt something." Royal shrugged. "And long before this mess started in earnest, I already knew it was more than just intrigue. I don't know what you're looking for as a sign that it's not just stress, but if it was that, I could get a lot easier girl."

Cinder was a little mad when he said that--though why she had any right to be was beyond her. "Is that so?"

"Sure, if I wanted," Royal said. "But they're all kind of dull now. Believe me, if I just needed to not feel lonely for a while, I could find that. And for a lot less trouble. But that's not the point. I hope that clears that up for you. I can't decide who should be more embarrassed here, you or me. I'm getting wrecked, but you're totally delusional."

That about summed up Cinder's usual state with this kind of thing.

"I don't understand," she said. "All I did back then was be mean to you."

"Are we really doing this now?"

"You might as well explain it." She frowned. "Since you say I'm wrong."

"I see... Well, I guess you were kind of mean." Royal shrugged. "But it wasn't really about me, was it? You were like that to everyone. So I didn't take it personally. Around that, I liked you. And I still do. Though you are, as usual, trying really hard to make sure I don't. Like you do with everyone. I just thought maybe you were finally starting to accept that people might really like you and care about you. I hope at least you accept that with your friends even if I'm out."

"Don't talk like that." Cinder couldn't bear his altruism at a time like this. "Err...I hate that."

"If I didn't know better, I'd swear that you use the word 'hate' when you really mean it makes you uncomfortable because you don't get it." Royal was onto her by now.

Cinder clenched a fist. "Shut up."

A pause ensued.

"Why does this matter now?" Royal finally said. "So you don't buy it? I'm sorry about that. Only not really, since it's not my fault. That's a you problem. I've never done anything to indicate I'm not serious."

"Do you know what kind of person I am?" Cinder hardly listened to his words now, she was too lost in her own thoughts. "I'm not... Well, it's ludicrous to even think of it. I'm certainly not worth all the trouble of getting this far. For very little reward. Are you crazy?"

"What's gotten into you?" Royal ignored the last part. "I thought you didn't care. Why does it matter?... And stop saying that about yourself. It's kind of annoying."

"No, what's annoying is that you insist on denying reality," Cinder quite ironically said. "Didn't you hear them back there?"

She gripped her left hand suddenly, as was her habit when she felt guilty or scared. "Even if it was years ago, I still...I still did things to people that were inhuman. Does that ever really go away? Even if you reform, people still know what you were... They'll still think of those things... They don't really forget."

"Is this about me, or everyone?" Royal asked. "That's not true, and you know it, I thought. What about being a new person?"

"Maybe, yes," Cinder said. She looked at her hand. "Maybe some people can accept that...but they knew the worst...and it's still not easy for them. Maybe it's not quite real to you what kind of person I used to be, and still am, sometimes...maybe often, deep down. They at least know. You didn't see. I was a monster."

She was staring at the ground by now. "And a fool. I didn't even know how far I had fallen till recently. But when I see what the bandits have done to people, all I can think about is I once did that willingly. So how are we different? I don't know the difference between how to treat people well or poorly. I just fight for whatever side will help me. If that's the right side now, I guess that's lucky, but it's not the same as the others."

"Cinder--" Royal stepped closer and took her wrist. "--can you really look me in the eye and say that you don't care at all about what they're doing to those people? And that this isn't at all  about how horrifying it is?"

Cinder tried to look up and say that...and then stopped.

She couldn't do it.

She wasn't sure if it was true or not, but somehow the idea of saying something like that was repulsive. Of course it was horrible. Of course the people didn't really deserve it. Even if they weren't all good, no one should be turned into a monster against their will and knowledge. 

And when she thought of it happening to the kids who had no one else and nowhere else to go, she felt like she was going to be sick.

Like a new thought, it hit her that this might be compassion.

She gasped oddly.

"That's what I thought," Royal said, triumphantly, at least for the moment. "You do care."

Cinder pulled her hand away. "A lot of good it does now..." she muttered to herself.

Still, she was surprised. When had that changed?

That actually made her feel different. Not...well, not happier, but as if she hadn't quite understood and maybe knowing it might change something...but what?

Well, once she hadn't been so closed off, but it had been too long for her to know what it felt like.

"About the rest of what you just said--" Royal had had some time to think about it.

He had, after all, known that some people would say that anyway, that he just didn't know her that well, but he hadn't expected her to say it like that.

It kind of hurt to hear her be so hard on herself, but...

"Look, I don't know if this will help," he said out loud. "Maybe you've made up your mind, but, still don't want you to just walk away with the idea that any of that is something that would still bother me. I know, I don't completely get it. I wasn't there. It's strange to think of you doing those things, because I can't picture it now. But that was then. And it's over. So why do you want to bring that into it? What is this really about?"

Cinder looked down again.

"I guess I just don't see what about me there is to really like," she admitted finally. "I'm not nice, I'm not particularly brave, or really clever. Aside from that, I have a history that makes people want to kill me on sight, and enough people who are willing to actually do it to make me a sinking ship."

She didn't even notice she was using Watts' words there.

"So either you're completely oblivious to all those problems and have some rose colored idea of me, or..." But she didn't have an or. That was the only option.

Royal felt both mad and sad.

Was this what she really thought? He'd have thought it was more of an excuse, except that she looked serious this time.

He wondered if Watts or the others had put this idea into her head with all their stupid, petty remarks...or if she'd have thought that anyway.

Then, in a burst of insight, he saw that maybe Cinder had always thought this about herself. No one had ever been there for her in her entire life, outside of the group of heroes, and most of them only had warmed up to her after she'd proven she was capable of helping them. And while that was understandable...he didn't think it was enough. She always had to earn their favor.

Maybe Shine and Wally had given her more unconditional love, but even they had had their doubts at first. Even he had...briefly...and even if he'd not voiced it, it was there.

And it must be such a difficult thing to live your life knowing that all people would expect of you was to be either evil, or weak, or just not worth their time.

Her obsession with her past made more sense...and in a way, this attitude now struck him as kind of desperate. But maybe in a different way. Maybe she couldn't afford to drop this way of thinking, because no one would understand it if she did.

Royal hadn't known just how much the lack of ever being loved, in one's memory, can affect someone's perception.

He did know what it felt like to be lonely and to have unfair expectations, but it was still different. There were some bright spots in his life, that Cinder had not had for a very long time, and now that she might have it, she couldn't believe it, not from her friends.

In that way it was no wonder she assumed he was just delusional. 

He saw all this in a few seconds and didn't have the time to break it apart like that, but later he would analyze it and understand just how he'd realized it.

But at the time, it just made him more sad.

"That's not true," he said aloud, after what had been a long silence.

Cinder was startled by his speaking at all, it had been so quiet.

"But I think I finally understand, kind of," Royal said slowly, "why you don't believe it. And I know we're different. Maybe I don't understand your experiences, so I miss stuff. I...I know this sounds cliche, but I wish there was a way to go back in time, maybe undo some of that stuff, so it wouldn't bother you anymore. But there isn't...and, on the other hand, if it hadn't happened that way, things might not be better. I don't think we get to pick the hand of cards we're dealt in life. I can never make mine the same as yours, or vice versa, but is that really a reason to not care? They're not that important differences, are they? Does having them really mean I just don't understand you? I don't think that adds up."

"What do you mean?" Cinder was lost. 

"And the risks...well, I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about them," Royal said. "But they don't matter that much. Risk is a part of life. It's not like we're actually safer if we avoid certain people. That's crazy. We could die anytime...for any reason. So why not just choose the risk we want? If there is some reward in that, then we're fortunate. And If it did end badly, it's better to at least go out trying for what you wanted than to not try and die anyway. You know, in one way, I'd think you'd get that."

Cinder blinked at him strangely. "Yes, but if you're going to risk your life and other things for something, it should be worth it."

"I thought it was." Royal looked her in the eye.

Cinder gaped at him.

Then reddened.

"I think there's a lot you have to offer, sure," Royal said. "You're smarter than you think and probably more funny than you realize, but in a good way. And I'm pretty sure you're kinder than you think, also. Maybe it's not like other people, but being picky about things like that is stupid. And you're the most determined person I know and, I think, a lot braver than most people. Those are all important things. But I don't know if that's even why I like you. It felt more like an instinct. I'd say like it was meant to happen, but maybe that's a little too out there to be true. Especially if you shoot me down, like I think you're probably going to do, so... Listen, I don't know if there's one right person for everyone. I think maybe you can learn to love different people--I've seen that before--so I'm not going to claim that...but I think at least there are some people who can't be replaced. If this isn't for you, I'll respect that, but I can safely say I think I'll never meet anyone else quite like you and that's not going to change in my mind."

Cinder was still speechless.

"And since I'm laying it out--" Royal decided to just commit to it. "--I also think I've been impacted a lot by meeting you. I had no idea just how lost I was before. And I'm not saying it's your job to save me--that's not what I mean. But you pointed me the right direction. I owe you for that, so, with all the things you did in the past, I at least know that my life will be better because of your part in it. I hope that counts for something, since you seem to feel so bad about your impact on people."

Cinder finally found her voice, though she spoke quietly.  "All that," she said strangely, "sounds like admiration... Maybe that's all it is."

Royal shook his head wryly. "No, that's not all it is. Maybe it started that way, but that's not it. Anyway, I doubt anyone would admire someone who looks like you for very long without it starting to be more of an attraction as well."

Cinder got red again. "Shut up..." she said, but not the least bit angry now, more flabbergasted.

"Yeah, that's probably one of the most cringe things I've said." Royal shrugged. "But you're asking dumb questions, so I kind of had to give you a dumb answer. I don't think most men would mistake one for the other, just saying."

"You've never acted like that," Cinder said. "I mean, not really."

"I could act like that, if you wanted." Royal stepped much closer to her.

Cinder's color deepened...but she didn't step back.

In her head she was telling herself to, but her feet were not cooperating.

This was a bad idea... She was supposed to be stopping this, not allowing it or inviting it...which it almost sounded like she'd been doing if she listened to her own words.

Royal had been sure she'd stop him if he got this close, but since she wasn't, he began to have hope.

"Do you want me to prove it?" he asked, aloud. "I could kiss you."

Cinder's eyes widened. 

Say no, her inner voice said, and it sounded like it was panicking. You're supposed to be shutting this down. If you don't say no, you're going to lose all that! Once you start something like this, it can't be stopped so easily!

The inner voice was getting kind of fainter as it babbled on.

On the other hand, a different voice suggested to her, this would be a good way to test if you really don't like him.

That voice was so stupid it made Cinder mad, as if she needed to do this to prove a point.

It was amazing she had time to think all that, since in real time it was only a couple seconds.

"You're not saying no," Royal observed. "Is that a yes?"

Cinder tried to answer, and the words wouldn't come out. She was way too overwhelmed.

Royal didn't think she was saying no, based on the look she was giving him, so he took her face gently in his one hand and then kissed her.

Cinder didn't know what she would feel, if anything, or if she would even like it since she had never kissed anyone before.

She wasn't sure if her head was supposed to feel light and her pulse pick up, but that was what happened.

She was both stunned that he'd actually done it and that she'd not stopped it...and then even more stunned that she wasn't mad.

Royal was kind of red too, when he stopped. It hadn't been very long, for all that.

Cinder swallowed.

"Was that okay?" Royal didn't know if she was mad or not.

Cinder put a hand to her head. She needed to think.

But she couldn't think!

"Can you please say something?" Royal was dying here.

"I don't know what..." Cinder trailed off and then started again. "That was...unexpected. I wasn't ready for it."

"Oh. Sorry, I shouldn't have--"

"No...I...I didn't mean that." Cinder tried to get a grip. "I can't believe I did that... This is all wrong. I was supposed to stop this."

"Why?" Royal asked.

"Because...because we can't do this!" Cinder finally snapped back to reality--or the version of it she was more comfortable with. "Not now. I have no idea what to do with what you just said and did, but I know that now is not the time."

"I'm confused," Royal said. "Why isn't it? Is there a better time to talk?"

"I..." Cinder clenched her fist, still trying to make herself focus. "You... Listen, I can't afford to get caught up in this. Not just because I don't know anything about it, but because there are real things I have to deal with, and I can't be distracted...and neither can you. We should forget about this."

"I don't think I can," Royal said seriously. "Cinder...come on, you're not acting like you hated tha, or any of this. I didn't think it before, but do you actually like me?"

Cinder reddened yet again. "I..." she sputtered. "I..."

Then she stamped her foot, to shake herself. "Look, I don't know what I'm feeling right now. If it was that, I wouldn't want it to be, not right now. You can't just expect me to be ready to... I mean... Ugh, this makes things more complicated."

Royal studied her.

"Okay," he said slowly. "I guess I see what you mean. It doesn't bother me, but it bothers you, with everything going on... Maybe you have to have more time. That's fair...but will you at least promise you'll think about it? Seriously?"

Cinder bit her lip. he was still reeling from that kiss.

"I...I can't--I mean...I'll... I have to make sure that tribe is stopped," she said. "Maybe if that happens, I can revisit this. But until then, I need to focus."

She thought to herself it wouldn't matter what she wanted, if she wanted it, as long as the tribe was a threat. She couldn't have this anyway...so no point asking.

Royal was a little disappointed but recognized that not everyone moves at the same pace.

He decided to just accept it. This whole conversation had gone far better than he'd expected, and he'd won more points than he thought. Why be sore about this one?

"Okay," he said. "We'll table it... But if we do stop them, I'm going to bring this up again. Just so you know. Don't even think about trying to run off."

Cinder shook her head in disbelief.

"I wouldn't expect that to work," she said aloud.

Which was the closest she was likely to get to a flirtatious comment.

She had to get off this parapet before she lost her resolve.

She hurried inside.

https://youtu.be/0eP4draTJ_0

[Mitski-- "First Love/Late Spring". Fits more now, right?]

"There you are." Oscar had just been coming to check on them. He was starting to wonder if Grimm had attacked them because they were upset. "Are you okay, Cinder? Where's Royal? I thought he went to find you."

Cinder looked at Oscar oddly and put a hand to her mouth. "He's fine. I mean...I'm fine. I'm going to bed. I'm tired."

"Oh." Oscar wasn't stupid and could see something was off, but he didn't think he  was going to get an answer. "Okay then. I made some food, if you're hungry--"

"I'm not." Cinder disappeared down the hallway.

"What was that?" Oscar wondered.

[Poor Oscar is always being left out.]

* * *

They flew back to Mistral the next day.

The mood in the plane was very different. It was still very awkward, but even Oscar could tell it was not the same kind of awkward. Royal was definitely more upbeat.

Cinder seemed on edge, but more like she was nervous and not like she was angry.

Oscar concluded that they must have talked about something, and he could guess some of the context for it, but he wasn't going to pry. He lacked Yang and Raven's nosy instincts.

In Argus, Raven told them all that the prisoners had remained unwilling to talk.

"And since Watts won't either," she said, "we seem to be at another dead end, but we might be able to use those devices you brought to crack this finally."

Cinder frowned. "Can I talk to the prisoners?" she said.

"Are you sure that's a good idea? They don't like you," Raven said.

"I might as well," Cinder said. "Maybe I can learn something."

"If you want to try..." Raven shrugged.

Cinder was shown to the holding area.

Mino glared at her from inside his cell, but he was cuffed and couldn't do anything to her.

Dolly ignored her and stared at the 3D puzzle she'd been given to amuse herself with.

Hypnosia was reading a book. Since she'd cooperated so far, she'd been allowed more entertainment. Dolly and her were both seen as less of a threat than Mino, and probably rightly so.

She did have Aura-restraining cuffs on her feet so she would not be able to use her Semblance.

The guards were at the end of the hall, and shot Cinder odd looks, but didn't watch her interaction with the prisoners.

Cinder felt that the Atlesian guards were still idiots.

She walked up to Hypnosia's cell and knocked on it.