[Opener: AMV to "Stand in the Rain"--Superchick, by Captain Dystra]

Winter found Raven outside, kicking at pebbles.

The cold was biting by now.

"Won't you come back inside?" Winter asked, in what was, for her, a gentle voice. "It's freezing."

"It's freezing in there also," Raven replied.

She meant the mood.

"They were surprised, but that's no reason to spoil the party," Winter said.

"I'm glad that's what's so important." Raven was peevish.

"That is enough self pity." Winter resumed her usual tone of voice. "You will have to face them sooner or later, and the longer you wait, the more they'll worry. Is that what your pride would want?"

That had some more effect.

Raven turned with a cross look. "I know what they're all thinking," she said, sounding just like her old self, hard and bitter.

"I don't think you do," Winter said. "But it's clear what you're thinking."

"Don't try those word games with me. Shine does it better," Raven said. "I'm surprised she's not out here."

"I'm sure she will talk to you when she thinks she should, but she's been expecting us to deal with our own problems lately."

Raven raised an eyebrow, then she said, with her typical bluntness, "Shine is the only one who has never judged me for my decisions. Her and Wally, but he wouldn't have anything to say about this."

"He might actually. You know, he's been raised by a single parent," Winter said. "But if he's chosen not to say anything, I think you know why."

"So you're just going to bring that right up."

"You did," Winter shrugged. "I'm sure this news was overwhelming, and we don't have to discuss it now. But sulking out here is not doing anyone any good. Either come inside or go home. You might as well not spoil our fun if you're determined to spoil your own."

"Fun?" Raven snorted. "You realize how difficult this will make things."

"There will be some way around it," Winter said. "There always is."

"Is that really Winter Schnee saying that? The uptight one?"

"Lashing out at me is not making you look or feel any better." Winter didn't bother to get offended. "And I've learned that solutions generally present themselves when you need them to."

Raven shook her head. "It's fine for you, Schnee."

"Why?"

"I know you and Qrow didn't plan to have kids so soon, but you were in love. You were older. Qrow has had experience with kids already. It wasn't the same thing." Raven tired of dodging the problem. "I was too young before. I skipped out on the learning stage. Now I'm too old. I can't possibly relearn all this now. Even if I wanted to."

"Raven, we've never spoken about your abandonment of Yang." Winter did not mince words. "Not at length. I decided it's not any of my business. I understand that Ozpin made it complicated."

"Probably would have done it even without Ozpin's secrets," Raven said. "But it was an excuse."

"I find it curious, though, that you once offered to let Yang stay with you, at the Tribe," Winter said. "Surely you weren't avoiding her exactly. You watched her. I'm sure you loved her, in your way."

"Of course I did." Raven said that more easily to Winter than she would have to Yang herself. 

She paced a little and then smiled oddly. "You should have seen her when she was born. She was so...tiny. She looked just like Tai then..."

She stared at her hands. "I didn't really want to be a mom. I figure it would be a burden. For a few months, I gave it a shot. But I had my doubts about Ozpin then, and I knew if I left, I couldn't take Yang with me. I knew Tai would be a better parent--he was more responsible than I or Qrow was. And there was Summer... Her crush on Tai was glaringly obvious to everyone but him."

"I see... I had thought that she and Qrow..." Winter had wondered about this for years but never asked Qrow directly.

"Qrow liked her," Raven said.

She paused and then said, "Not as much as he likes you. It was a schoolboy crush. Really, that's all Tai and I had. I know something now I didn't know then. People admire you for your good qualities, but they only truly love you if they've seen your dark side. Tai couldn't handle it when he found out I had doubts, fears, pride. To hear him talk now, you'd still hear how he thinks I changed from when we first met and later. And I 'tore our team apart' with my flaws."

"I have never believed that," Winter interjected. "Even before I knew you that well, I knew it could never have been just one person's doing. You know how my family is. I can't blame just Father for that, either."

"I'm glad you're sensible of that, but they weren't." Raven clenched her fist. "I really think Summer was a little suspicious that I was right, though. But it was easier for Tai and Qrow to think I was just irresponsible than to think they should have listened to me."

"They have admitted they were foolish then. So what is your point? None of this is important now."

"It's not in one way, but it is another. They still think I was the worst," Raven said. "And I won't even argue that. I went down a dark path. I thought I would atone for my mistake by serving the people again. But that is a far cry from trying to do anything like be responsible for someone else. I've had a few days to think about it--it never gets any better. I'm not anyone's role model here. I can't do this."

"I see," Winter said.

Pause again.

"Aren't you going to say I have no choice?" Raven said.

"That would not be true," Winter said. "You could decide not to do this."

"How would I do that?" Raven frowned at her.

"If you wanted to hand the child over to someone else, none of us could stop you," Winter said. "I believe Hazel might have something to say about it. I take it that was probably why you and Tai split."

"That was never a conversation. I knew what he'd say...because I knew it was over with us. He's a fool--was a fool."

"And have you spoken to Hazel about not wanting this?"

"I can't," Raven said, sounding desperate, which was weird for her. "As soon as he found out, he started saying it was a miracle. He never talks about it, but he loves kids. You know that. He's practically adopted Emerald and Mercury already. And that's cute and all, for someone who wants that. They didn't have anyone else anyway. But it's not me. He would never give this one up."

"I believe it," Winter said. "But he can't stop you from doing so."

"Oh, and is that what everyone expects me to do?" Raven was bitter again. "Same old Raven, right?"

"I never said that. I said no one can stop you. No one but you." Winter leaned on the wall, folding her arms.

She never lost her military bearing, though she was not dressed in uniform right now.

"But they would think less of me," Raven said.

"I'm afraid so," Winter shrugged. "People will have their opinions."

"And you wouldn't?"

"I don't know. I suppose I can understand if you honestly think you're not fit to do this, wanting something better. The question is if Yang was really better off, and would this child be? No two people are the same." Winter shrugged. "And you have no financial reason to abdicate responsibility. That makes it harder to accept. We know many people who've been abandoned. Nora, Emerald, Cinder. The child would not be alone, though. All of us would step in, if necessary. However, I do not know how you would avoid it while being so close to us, and Argus would be sorely lacking if you quit your job."

Raven snorted. "Is that what you're worried about?"

"It's a concern. Shirking one responsibility to shirk another is not a recipe for success."

"I'm sure that's not what you really think," Raven said.

"You have given me no reason to think what I really think will be received well by you. I'm not your guardian." Winter tilted her head. "Nor your teacher. We're peers. All I have to go on is my own reasoning."

"Well, let's hear it then. I hate it when people pretend to think something they don't."

"If you insist:" Winter leveled her gaze. "If it were me, the choice would be clear. Without being crass, I must point out that you were part of this, clearly. You did not look into it enough beforehand to be sure. That was your own fault. Furthermore, it's a child, not a disease. Don't you think that matters?"

[I can hear the debate in the comments already. If you have issue with this, remember that it's what Winter would think. Responsibility is a key part of her character. If you don't like it, I can't change that.]

"I'm not saying that it's the child's fault," Raven said. "I wouldn't say that. I'm saying that I'm not the right kind of person."

"Why not? You're in authority all of the time. You've never been one to not give advice. Plenty of people rely on you. Is one more so much worse?"

"It's not like that... If you make a mistake as a leader--"

"It can cost someone their life," Winter said. "Forgive me if this is callous, but, as a parent, most of your mistakes only give someone issues... Issues can be worked out. Death is not so easily remedied. I never did understand that part of wanting to lead a tribe of people but not a family, but I suppose different things scare different people. And you're not the only one who doubts her parental abilities. It's easier while they're babies, but I don't know how I'll handle the teen years."

"You'll be fine," Raven scoffed. "No kid would ever try you."

"I doubt that's true. But if so, you see something in me that I often do not. Perhaps the same could be applied to you. I'm not sure everyone really thinks you'd be such a bad mother."

"Please." Raven snorted in derision, but it sounded fragile.

"I cannot convince you, Raven, I hope you realize that," Winter said. "Your doubts run deeper than someone like me could reach. I have problems like that also. At least I know of them now. And at least you know them now yourself. Maybe you're still full of doubts, but in 23 years, do you at least know yourself better?"

"I know that I still do not do what I'm supposed to do."

"And why is that?"

"I don't know... Maybe I'm too ashamed." Raven shook her head.

"Well...that is more clarity than before," Winter said slowly. "Shine could probably tell you how to work with it. This healing is not my strong suit. I apply reason to these matters. Reasonably, you could do it. You're fully sane, healthy, and have handled plenty of responsibilities with fortitude. You could work on being sensitive, but so could many of us. So you are capable. I'm not so sure you really think otherwise. You just think you'd quit."

This was pretty much the truth.

"That's what I do," Raven said. "I quit when it gets too hard."

"But you decide what is too hard, Raven. Leadership was not too hard for you. Perhaps the better question is why is this so hard?"

Raven didn't know the answer to that.

She looked at Winter helplessly.

"Well, I can't decide for you." Winter stood up and straightened again. "You must try to make the wisest choice. I can help you either way. I do hope you decide to try this time, because I see that you would hate yourself if you didn't, but I know that's not enough of a reason. It will take a wiser person than I to address that."

She opened the door. "Speaking of wiser."

Shine was standing there, just about to come out.

"You two are going to miss the story telling," she said. "Is everyone okay out here?"

"How could you ask that? You heard," Raven said.

"I guess that's true," Shine said easily. "Are you ready to rejoin us?"

"Are they talking about me still?" Raven asked.

"I don't know. I was trying not to listen. I was tempted to smack them, but I believe Winter handled it better than I would."

"Surely you jest," Winter said.

"No, I would have lost my temper faster than you," Shine said. "I've always defended Raven very vehemently, for personal reasons, but perhaps not unbiased enough for them."

"Why do you defend her so much?" Winter asked.

"Because I know what it's like to be given the blame for things," Shine said. "And to feel that only you seem to see something. I'd be tempted to do what she did if I was in the same position. But I think, unfortunately, that those men are too devoted to their families to understand that, which is a good trait, one that my husband has. But I believe that sometimes the most strongly opinionated people are the most deficient in that kind of loyalty, instinctually speaking. We're so in our heads."

She shrugged. "I know that I get too worked up about proving a point sometimes, and it isn't always worth proving. That's me and my character."

"I understand that," Winter said. "I often think I am the same."

"Actually, Winter, not as much as you think you are," Shine said.

"Perhaps then, Shine, neither are you."

"I hope I've grown out of it then. In the past, people would have told me that was true. I know because they did." Shine tilted her head. "Raven, perhaps they won't bully you as much as you think. If you face them head on, they'll be less likely to."

"Oh, sure," Raven said. "Bully me. That's what I want to hear at a party."

"That did get heated, but we should smooth it over," Shine said, "while it's not too late to save it. Pyrrha and Jaune worked hard on this. It would be so ungrateful to turn it into a family feud. Besides, more people are on your side than you might think. I'm sure some of those girls have felt the same way you do."

"But they're all just thrilled about having families," Raven said.

"Oh, Raven, don't be so naive," Shine chided her openly. "I'm sure you could see the fear behind their eyes, for some of them. Even me, and I love kids, but I had my worries. I come from a family with a lot of issues, and I worry about carrying that into the future. But some helpful advice I've heard is that if you're worried about it, that's already a good sign. Truthfully, complacency is the biggest red flag in a parent."

"I can attest to that being the truth, from seeing mine," Winter said.

"Winter, I hope by now you see that your father likely had poor parents himself," Shine said. "I pity the man a little. He was a bully, but to think all that matters in life is money and prestige denotes a poor childhood in most cases... There are exceptions to that, but I never thought he was one. He's too quick to make himself the victim. That's a defense mechanism."

"I'm not really interested in talking about this," Winter said.

"I'm sorry to hear it. It would be better to understand it if you wish to avoid the same thing happening," Shine said. "I identify patterns all the time."

"Well, you can't do that with me," Raven said. "I didn't know my parents."

"The pattern being that both you and Qrow have felt like you cannot be there for your families because no one was there for you," Shine said.

Raven stopped to stare at her in astonishment.

"Except, of course, the one group of people you felt comfortable with," Shine went on.

Winter smirked.

"Is that why?" Raven said, blankly.

"We do what we're shown. Unless we work hard to do otherwise," Shine said. "Look at me, I'm much younger than you, but I've had plenty of time to get into bad habits, and it's still work, even now, to not do the same things I saw. All the time, it's work. My father often expressed concern about acting like his father--but the kicker was that if you ever pointed out that he was, he got very angry. I know why, but if you are not humble enough to know that you will inevitably imitate your parents, and the only solution is to admit it when it happens and try to move on, then you are not really not actually like them. All of these toxic traits start with avoiding responsibility in some way. Even--" And here she looked at Raven directly. "--admitting that you're the one with all the problems is avoiding responsibility. Because it is saying that you are just defective and could not do any better. Which is not true of anyone. A reasonable person accepts some of the blame, but not all of it."

"That is what I was trying to say, but I didn't say it right," Winter said.

"Shine, you're almost never wrong about people," Raven said.

"I have been."

"But usually you're not."

"What is your point?"

"I'm just saying, if you were honest, do you think this is a good thing, what's happened?" Raven said.

Shine's eyes sparked in their old way. "I do."

"Of course you do," Raven sighed. "You think family is the most important thing there is."

"No, I think salvation is the most important thing there is, aside from God Himself. God takes precedence over family. But under God, yes, family is the second most important thing. It is not good for man to be alone, after all. I mean what I say about you though... At least, I think it's a beautiful thing. Is Hazel happy about it?"

"Oh, yes, which is what makes it worse."

"I know that it makes you feel guilty," Shine said. "And it would make me feel guilty also, I admit. But try to see it his way. I'm sure he thought he'd never have the chance to have a family. You've given him potentially the chance to have that. To be blunt, it's not like Tai. He didn't want to have one yet."

Raven raised an eyebrow. "So I'm selfish?"

"That is not news to you, hon, but I don't believe you're purely selfish. I'm selfish also." Shine leaned on the doorway. "We're all selfish, sometimes. My concern is if that selfishness is your guiding principle."

"What if it is?" Raven asked.

"It's a choice, Rave." Shine shrugged. "I have always believed you can be better than your fears. I've seen a tenacity in you I don't often see. You would not be a perfect mother, but you could be a good one. It will be awkward. It will be uncomfortable, as it will be for us all, I suppose...But you can't compare yourself to all of us. You see us at our best with our kids, probably. There's plenty of moments where I feel inadequate too. I cried a lot at first. I was so tired." She shook her head. "And overwhelmed. I had lots of the kids to look after, plus my own. Yes, it's hard. I had help, but some things only you can do. And you will feel like you can't always do them, but to be weak is human. And that's okay. Truthfully, Raven, kids won't die if you're not perfect. And studies have shown that some minor mistakes don't usually cause long lasting damage. If that helps. Trying to avoid those errors by not trying at all, or over trying, is more likely to cause problems. If you accept that you won't be perfect, or even good at it right away, then you'll find it's not so bad...but, that is me. You're right, I like kids, and I like family. But from all I know of you, so do you. You just didn't want to live with someone. You can't go back to being a bandit this time. What else is there for you but this?"

Raven narrowed her eyes. "So I don't have a choice, and that should make me happy?"

"No, you can be frustrated with that if you wish...and it's not true--you have a choice, always. But think: Would you really want to do that again? I believe, deep down, you would not. This is your home now. These are your friends. Winter is your family now, and a very cool one at that."

Winter smiled at her wryly, though she thought the compliment was a little silly.

"And Qrow will come around," Shine said more lightly. "I know he's an ass at times, but he's always been a lovable one, and he always gets his head on straight sooner later. And...you can't let Yang get to you so much, you know. She's still immature sometimes. I love her, but she does not decide my view of myself. She's not perfect either, and you do not need to prove yourself to her. The past is the past, and it won't ever change, but so far you've done a good job at redeeming the time, I think."

That did help a little. Raven didn't get to hear that so often.

"And they will help you, if you want to keep doing that," Shine added. "You know I can't do much, but I will do all I can. But also, you know the real answer is always from above. That is the Only One who can really change us. You should come inside and hear the story. It's kind of about this."

"The Christmas story?" Raven said. "Isn't that just the one in the Gospels? I don't see the connection."

"You will once I go over it. Come on, please." Shine gave her the doe-eyed look.

"It's not as if you can make any real decisions tonight," Winter pointed out. "Might as well put it aside for now."

Raven sighed. "I suppose it's better than standing out here... They think you're talking me around."

"I'll go tell them I wasn't if it'll help," Shine said.

"Do not do that! I hope you're not serious, but if you are, that would only make it worse."

"I would do it, but I don't have to if you don't wish," Shine said.

"Time was, you'd have done whatever you wanted," Raven said.

"I have learned to be a little more flexible," Shine shrugged. "Come on."

Raven finally moved towards the door, and Shine took her arm and hugged her.

"Whatever happens, it'll be okay," she said reassuringly. "You'll do the right thing."

Raven was not convinced, but it was a little comforting to be told it anyway.

Winter envied Shine a little her ability to make these gestures. She could rationalize with people, and Shine did that too, but Winter had never been as easy at doing the softer side of comfort.

https://youtu.be/v-ODODgH6AQ

["Hanging by A Moment"--Lifehouse]

* * *

While they were outside, the others had been talking or lapsing into uncomfortable silence.

Hazel's reaction didn't rub Wally the right way, however.

"Hey, are you just going to let them talk about your wife that way?" he asked.

"I wasn't listening to most of it," Hazel said flatly.

"Then why weren't you going after her to comfort her?" Wally said.

"She hasn't wanted to talk about it. Not since she told me the news," Hazel said.

Wally held up his hands like he was framing him, almost. "So what? She just told you and you said nothing?"

"I said it was a miracle, and she immediately got angry and stormed out of the room, then she didn't talk anymore to me," Hazel replied.

Wally wondered at the man's stupidity to not understand this.

"Duh, she wanted you to follow her and ask what was wrong," he said.

"I don't think so," Hazel said. "Raven has no problem telling people what is wrong when she wants to."

"Oh, and she's never dipped instead of having a tough conversation?" Wally was sarcastic, since they all knew Raven had done this.

Hazel shrugged a little more uneasily. "I don't know why she's upset."

"Which is why you ask her," Wally said.

"Why would she not just say it?" Hazel said.

"Gosh, you don't know much about women, do you?" Wally said. "I have a ton of female friends, you know, before I had a relationship, and now because we all live at the same house. At least half of them do this when they're angry. You know you pick up a thing or two when it's not you they're mad at but their men."

Hazel didn't answer him. He just waited for him to make his point.

"Maybe you need to pay more attention to your other female acquaintances," Wally said. "I'm sure they could set you straight. Look, either she's not talking to you because she wants to make you work for it--which is kind of annoying, but it's a thing they do--or, and this is the one you don't want it to be, she's too embarrassed to bring it up."

"That one sounds like a better reason," Hazel observed.

"No, no, it's not." Wally shook his head. "If a woman is being difficult on purpose, then she wants to talk about it deep down and is just waiting for you to earn it. If she's actually embarrassed, that's a whole deeper issue. Gotta tread carefully there. When it's the first one, you can say a lot of stupid crap and she'll forget about it the next day as long as you do what she wants...but with the other one, you could say the wrong thing and she'll remember it for years."

Hazel didn't like to hear this.

"And have you done that before?" he asked.

"With Shine, only once or twice. Thankfully, she's pretty reasonable about understanding that I didn't mean it to be hurtful," Wally said. "Also Shine is not one to not talk about something, no matter how unpleasant it is. I'm lucky... Before her, though, sure, I did that kind of thing, and sometimes it never really worked out. Raven is not the type to talk about it first. That whole thing with going off to the woods? She wants people to come find her."

"And this is something you know women do?" Hazel certainly didn't know that.

"I notice it more with women, but Shine told me men do it too," Wally said. "I don't even know who decided the stereotype. I mean, everyone's different."

Hazel didn't care if everyone was different, he was concerned with one person.

"So she wants me to talk to her?" he said.

"Big Guy, you can be kind of slow," Wally said. "Look, maybe you're not the sensitive type. Maybe everyone being a little touchy about this doesn't bother you. But can't you just put yourself in her position? She's messed this up once before, and you haven't had the chance to do that. I've never thought Raven was really so bad, though...but her family takes it really hard when someone is not there for them. They're worried she'll do that again. And here you are, not saying a thing to defend her to shut them up. I would never let anyone talk about my wife that way."

"Perhaps not...but your wife is rather infamous for not doing things like that," Hazel said. "Whatever my opinion is, I can't deny that they have been wronged by her in the past. Do you think they would believe it if I told them otherwise?"

"Do you think she's still the same person?" Wally asked. "I know you think more about this stuff than you let on. Didn't you trust Oscar because you could tell he was not like Ozpin? You can see the essence of people."

Hazel hesitated.

"Raven is a complicated woman," he admitted. "Essentially, she's not a fool. She's determined. I don't doubt her abilities whenever she's sure of herself. But she has her blind spots, like everyone. I think she's grown a lot in 5 years, but she still has rough edges."

"Do they bother you?" Wally asked.

"Not particularly. I know I have just as many," Hazel said. "Raven has been accepting of my checkered past and beef with Ozpin, even before that was all resolved. I figure it is only fair to accept hers also."

"So both of you are fixer-uppers," Wally said. "And that's why you work together. You love her, right?"

Hazel nodded.

"Does she know that?" Wally asked.

"I married her."

"You don't have to love someone to marry them," Wally said. "You might just like them and want the convenience of it. You might marry them for other reasons. Have either of you even said those words to each other?"

Hazel shook his head.

"Man, you guys are bad at verbalizing," Wally said. "I mean, I get it, sometimes you don't need words...but sometimes you do. Shine isn't as comfortable using words, or she wasn't at first. But she put in the effort to learn because she knew that I wanted to hear that."

"She takes care of you?" Hazel said.

"Oh yeah," Wally said. "She always did, even before we were married. That's the thing--you've got to show love in all kinds of ways. I know Shine loves me because she says it, but also because she thinks of what I need. She notices when I'm down, and she stands up for me to anyone who tries to start something. And of course, there's the physical." He winked. "Can't forget about that...but that's not enough on its own. If you get what I'm saying."

Hazel nodded slowly. "I've never meant it to be just about that. I never liked men who treat women like that."

"I believe you, buddy," Wally said. "Trust me, I think you're not that kind of guy...but you've gotta watch that. Ladies really don't like to feel like they're only good for one thing. And if you haven't praised her on anything or said anything else, and here you are now going to have a kid, can't you see how she could feel pretty unsure of herself? I'm sure that Tai wasn't exactly mature either. I've never liked him that much."

"Me neither," Hazel said. "He shouldn't blame his ex for all the problems that happened. She was the only one who told them the truth."

"Exactly...that, and I don't like people who blame their ex for everything period," Wally said. "If they're a psycho maybe, but Raven isn't like that. I get that he's hurt, but still, take some responsibility...but that's him."

"Even so, I don't see how what I told her would give her the idea I didn't care." Hazel had gone back to that conversation.

"Maybe not that itself, but what you didn't say might," Wally said. "Clearly she's stressed about this. Maybe your first move should be to try to help her feel less freaked out. Raven acts tough, but she's pretty vulnerable in some areas. I know she's nervous about being a mom."

It said something when Wally, who lived in another world, could see that faster than Hazel.

But Hazel was not used to trying to understand the complexities of people's characters. He took them more as a whole, which made him more accepting but also less attentive.

Nine times out of 10, Raven preferred that he didn't see her flaws in that clear a light, but in the 10th, when it would matter to know the details, here was where there was a problem.

Wally thought to himself that communication issues were bound to come up for this particular pair sooner or later, and it was shocking it had taken this long and only over something this big. He guessed they were compatible enough to avoid it most of the time.