208: Misplaced A Part Of My Soul

Once the Grimm had been disposed of or driven away, simply by words for some of the team, they gathered around Glynda, who was off the plane now.

"Neo!" Torchwick saw her state. "What happened to her?"

"It's okay," Jaune said. "I think it's just numbing her. We're working on it."

He was boosting her Aura.

Neo groggily moved a hand.

"She injures herself more around all of you because you slow her down. This never happened before," Roman declared.

"You were a big fish in a small pond before," Cinder said dismissively. "Now shut up. No one wants to hear your whining, Roman."

"No one wants to hear you, period, sweetheart," Roman said.

"But Glynda," Shine said. "I thought you... How did you get here?"

Glynda frowned at her. "I should have died," she said. "After you left us--not that you had much choice--I tried to free James. Those plants had him fast, and he kept telling me not to do it. The Grimm were on us the next moment, and I tried to hold them off. I was losing the fight and starting to wonder if it was even worth trying. Then the lava appeared from nowhere and flowed over the whole place. I used my Semblance to lift myself up above it, and everything below me got turned to rock... James was trapped under it. I couldn't free him, and the Grimm blocked me from doing anything more for him... but they were all buried alive or driven away by it. After that...it felt as if my head cleared from a haze, and I recalled everything that led up to that attack and saw that James and I had both been acting strange for some time. I don't remember what happened exactly... but I recalled where the plane was and went back to it. For some reason it was still there. I decided that I might as well follow you all and offer my services if you'd survived. Then I found this place. I must have gone the wrong way at first, since clearly it's not that far from where we were..."

She then looked down.

"I didn't like your plan," she said slowly, "and I had every intention of stopping you from doing it. But James told me some of the things he did in Atlas, after you mentioned them. At first he seemed ashamed, but he said that things were different now and the world was still at stake. I thought he was right, so I joined him... but then he began to act as if nothing he did was wrong. I should have known something was off. I thought he was just focused on the mission."

"He was," Qrow cut in. "That was always his problem."

Glynda looked at him angrily--or perhaps it was sadness really.

"If I had known what those Grimm did," she said in a strained voice that the students had never heard her use, "I would never have allowed him to go back. It's my fault also... so I know why you left us... and yet I just don't comprehend why you spared that witch." She meant Cinder. "And this had to..." She crossed her arms. "But I know my duty. I suppose if I can't stop you, I must at least try to keep those Relics from being misused."

Silence.

Then Winter said, "I'm sorry about the General. I never thought things would end this way. I would have spared him if..."

"It was not up to you," Glynda said. "We all make choices... He made his. It's not fair, but it's reality."

"A thing I had to accept myself," Shine said. "I didn't want to leave him. But I had to. He would have fought us all to the end. We could have wasted too much time, and that Grimm would have eaten us. It almost did anyway. I didn't want to choose the Relics over someone's life, but I had to choose to keep people alive who still wanted to need help. And you may not agree with our plan, but we have never killed people to get what we want. I draw the line there. I hope you will now also."

Glynda frowned at her. "I'm still not quite sure I like you. But if I must..."

Qrow sighed. "For what it's worth, Glynda... I'm glad you survived."

"So am I," Ozpin said faintly. "I can't begin to tell you how sorry I am that James met that end. I feel it is my fault, in a way. He followed in my footsteps."

"And so now you think that's a problem?" Yang said, gesturing irately. "You keep flipping. Are we right or wrong, Ozpin?"

"Miss Xiao Long, even you didn't like this plan originally," Ozpin said. "Are you one to talk to me about that? I know I've made my mistakes and I led other people to."

"Oh, don't beat yourself up," Wally said. "I bet that guy had problems way before he worked for you."

"He must have," Shine said. "If Ozpin's influence alone was enough, then Qrow and Glynda would have been just the same. There's always something inside us that must be weak first." She sighed. "I liked James once, you know... but it seems that part of him died after Beacon... We just..." She looked at Wally. "We don't always win."

Wally hugged her. "But we won today, right? Look, guys, we got him."

Most of them hadn't seen Mercury yet, as he was leaning on a rock.

"Mercury!" Ruby cried, rushing over.

Most of the teens joined her.

"Are you okay?" Weiss asked.

"Did they hurt you?" Blake asked.

"Duh, look at him," Yang said.

"I hope you gave him back what he gave," Meridian said.

"Where were you in that whole fight?" Theo asked Shine.

"I was with Salem," she said.

Everyone looked at her in horror except for the people who already knew.

"What?" Winter said.

"I'll explain it all once we've had a chance to sit down and rest," Shine said. "People need medical attention, all right? And Glynda must be tired."

* * *

A short time later, Shine had regaled them with a short version of what happened.

"So you didn't really get into why we're here?" Wally asked.

"I could hardly do that once she realized it was a diversion," Shine said. "I had to come clean, or she'd have thought she had the upper hand, but it worked out."

"You risked their lives on thinking that Salem would do as you wanted?" Theo said. "Are you crazy?"

"Coming from you, man?" Wally said.

"No, that is actually crazy," Ozpin said. "I mean, I've said that before, but I'm serious this time. What possesses you to do these things?"

"Nothing," Shine said. "What possesses you to do what you do?" She gave him a sharp look.

"And she actually listened?" Cinder was still reeling from that part.

"Of course. Why wouldn't she?" Shine said. "What else was she going to do? In fact, it was far easier than I thought. I think I built it up in my mind as this big thing, but Salem's not that different from anyone else."

She got blank stares.

"Well, that's nice to hear," Pyrrha finally said with a straight face.

Now she got looks like she was crazy.

"Not that different from anyone else?!" Nora exclaimed. "Oh, sure, the part-Grimm part just escaped you!"

"Once you get used to it, it's not that noticeable," Shine shrugged. "I mean, I see so many aliens in Wally's world, I hardly notice things like that now."

"I know. It's weird how you get used to it," Wally commented between bites of food. "So she was chill?"

"Mostly," Shine said. "I made her mad, but she deserved that. However, I think she saw my point. What is there to gain by fighting? We want the same thing."

"Mass destruction?" Glynda said.

Shine suddenly put her water bottle down.

"Have any of you even actually asked Salem what she really wants?" she asked candidly.

No one had, even the villains.

"She told you a pack of lies that you never bothered to question because her power overawed you." Shine roasted them like it was nothing. "But if you really looked at it, are you so sure she wants something that you can't sympathize with? The destruction of mankind is just part of her plan, and perhaps a part she'd be willing to adjust if she could get the rest. Or something better. No one ever asked Salem what she wanted. In fact, from that story you told, us it sounds to me like her entire life no asked her what she wanted. She makes herself heard because no one would listen to her otherwise. I know something about that... and that's why I could understand her--and she can understand me, to an extent. She's not the only one to want to rebel against the gods. And I went to her alone because I knew she'd see it as a threat if we all went. I'll need to talk to her again alone at least once to be sure. Of course she'd feel threatened by this expedition."

"Because Salem feeling threatened is the thing we really want to avoid," Jaune said, stupefied.

Shine nodded as if this was normal.

"Of course... fear brings out the worst in people. And Grimm. We don't want her to think we're threatening her--she'll do all she can to stop us. Earning her trust is the only way to get through. And she won't trust anyone she can either control or intimidate. That was part of my plan this entire time. It wasn't going to work otherwise. She compromised the whole thing by kidnapping Mercury, but we solved that, and I was able to explain it to her in a way that I hope worked."

"There are times I ask myself what you're smoking," Raven said incredulously.

"Mock me, then." Shine suddenly got mad. "I'm sorry I tried to save your lives! What was I thinking?!"

She stormed away from them.

"And here we go again," Wally sighed.

"She always does that," Qrow said.

"I didn't mean her," Wally said tightly. "I was thinking it before when you got mad about General Ironwood. No matter what happens, it's always our fault that it didn't end well. Even now. I wish you guys trusted us more."

"We do trust you," Blake said.

"Do you?" Wally shoved aside his pack. "Won't you try to talk us out of this again tomorrow? I guess I don't really want blind followers, but there's times a guy would just like people to trust that he'll come through for them because he has before. Even if we fail, we put our all into this mission. I've only been a DJ for short time, but I get now why Alicia had to keep track of it even after she left. Maybe we don't become a part of the world, but it's become a part of us, somehow. And I feel like there's this connection. It's not even emotional, it's just... it's there. Well... anyway, if it was against your better judgment to come this far, you shouldn't have. As soon as something goes wrong, it's proof that we're wrong, not just that life is tough and so is fighting for good. Sometimes you have to roll with the punches. I'm sorry about your friends, but... well, you're not the only ones who've lost stuff. Just because you don't see what happened to us doesn't mean it's not there. And just because Shine doesn't act scared of Salem doesn't mean she didn't risk her life to go talk to her for all of you. And I let her because I trusted her. I wish I wasn't the only one who did." He got up.

"Wait," Ruby said.

"Hey, not all of us said that," Yang said.

"Really, from you?" Jaune glanced at her.

"Well, what's the point anymore? We're here and we're not going back," Yang said. "Even I have to deal with it."

"I do grow tired of hashing this back and forth," Pyrrha said aloud. "I thought that the closer we got to success, the less anyone would have doubts. But I see now I was naive. Doubt is something you have inside, it's not because of what's going on around you. If you want to believe, you will. If you don't... nothing can convince you to. No amount of proof will ever be enough. I suppose you can't help it... but I wish at least you'd stop shaming us for having faith. We are what we are."

"Who's shaming you for it?" Nora said.

Pyrrha just sighed and shook her head.

Oscar put a hand on her arm. She could tell it was Oscar right now.

"I get it," he said quietly.

Pyrrha smiled at him warmly.

"I think this is about me," Winter mused suddenly. "I took out my anger on Shine before. I shouldn't have. What right did I have to judge? We fight each other often enough without any help from Grimm... Why shouldn't she be sick of it? The General..." She rubbed her arms. "...would have killed us."

"Oh, you think?" Cinder said sarcastically.

"Shut up!" Blake said to her.

"Oh, 'cause that always helps," Emerald said flatly. 

"I thought you hated her now," Jaune said.

"Maybe I rethought it." Emerald stuck out her chin. "We're all in this together, even if you don't like it. Why don't you just act like it?"

"She's not wrong," Mercury said, looking up. "Salem and I had a few little chats while I was in there. I've never seen her this off balance. Something is up. But if we don't act like we're all on the same page, she won't buy it. She knows weird s--- is going on with this team. But you're making it real easy to divide yourselves. We're supposed to be the villains in this group, but who starts the most s--- with other people?"

"I think you've started plenty," Neptune said.

"Oh sure, Princess," Mercury said. "But the most? Anyway, I left off that."

"It's true, he has cut back," Ruby said.

"What is that, teacherly pride?" Weiss asked.

"I don't know, maybe," Ruby said. "I mean, I think Mercury has tried to become the person we needed him to be, whatever that looks like for him. It's not like me... but it worked. Maybe we're too judgy. We're right on Salem's doorstep--somehow, we're all still here....Something is working. What if she did just... stop?"

"And what becomes of all our quibbling then?" Pyrrha wondered. "Won't it just look foolish? Anyway, what is this pride of ours doing for us?"

"Yeah, well..." Qrow poked at the fire they'd lit. "Maybe the real problem with Shine is that she tends to make us all look bad by comparison."

"What do you mean?" Ruby said.

"If it was that easy the whole time, then what have we been doing?" Qrow said.

Cinder scoffed.

"Oh, and what is your problem?" Vara said sourly.

"He just called it easy." Cinder clenched her fist. "As if relinquishing all your guardians and power and plans is easy. Someone would have to have no attachments to their own ways to find that easy."

"You're saying that Shine and Wally don't?" Jaune said. "They're pretty stubborn people. I don't think you know them that well. They're not weak."

"Maybe I know them a little better than you do, then." Cinder glanced at him. "I don't understand anything, right? But I do understand one thing: people who use power. And if someone chooses not to, though they could, there's only ever one reason they have for that--because it suits them better not to. They're either waiting for something, or they need people to do something to themselves for it to really work. And that's the simplest explanation for any of this, and you fools still don't get it."

"What do you mean?" Pyrrha said blankly. "They don't want us to destroy ourselves."

"You can't understand anything, can you?" Cinder said. "And you're supposed to be the smart one? Heroes are all the same."

"Well, gee, why don't you enlighten us?" Mercury rolled his eyes dramatically. "If you're so on the up and up. What big thing are we missing?"

"That's the one thing you would never let Salem do, because you're all too noble, is simply to end this herself," Cinder said with scorn--but perhaps also a note of amazement that she might have put it together. "Your precious Miss Likstar wants that. She wants Salem to choose her end in her own way before you all can. Because it's most effective that way. If you think of it like that, the only remarkable thing about them is that they have the self control to get out of someone's way enough to let them do that."

"Let them?" Jaune said. 

"What would you know about that?" Yang frowned at Cinder.

"Plenty. That was what we did in Beacon." Cinder smirked unpleasantly. "We let you tear yourselves apart, just took a little push."

"And a whole lot of Grimm." Nora crossed her arms.

"Well, we have a whole lot of Grimm here." Cinder had no thought of being funny when she said this, but suddenly Ruby laughed.

Everyone looked at her oddly.

Then Pyrrha started laughing too, and even Emerald and Mercury cracked smiles.

"What's so funny?" Blake asked.

"I cannot believe I'm saying this, but I think Cinder is right." Ruby rubbed her face and shrugged. "The one thing we've never considered is just like in Atlas... What if we just did what the bad guys wanted? Just the way that they don't expect. Does that change the outcome? I don't know. This is not my thing, but it seemed to work with the other bad guys. Watts... all of them. We want to stop her. Shine wants her to stop herself. Because that would work, if she could. But we never asked if she really could. Only if we could stop her."

"The answer was in the question the entire time, wasn't it?" Pyrrha said. "'You can't destroy Salem.' Or, as Shine said, they didn't come here to stop Salem."

"But they came here so that she would... stop herself?" Oscar said oddly. "That's... that's it." He looked upward. "Is that what I didn't understand this whole time? All this comes down to that. We can't do it, she can."

"So we're banking on her actually realizing she made mistakes?" Raven said. "The one thing she's never been willing to do?"

"We didn't want to think of it," Qrow said. "We all hate her so much... To be honest, we didn't want that to be the answer."

"Where is this clarity coming from?" Raven said to him wryly.

"It's the same way I felt about you for a long time." Qrow was killingly blunt.

Raven's mouth dropped open.

"But--" Qrow shrugged "--I realize that wasn't fair. It was just me not wanting to do the harder work of trying anything else."

"Easier to fight someone than it is to understand them," Hazel spoke firmly.

"So what they've been saying all along is that this was the plan?" Yang said. "And we just missed it?"

"No," Glynda said suddenly. "We didn't want to hear it. Isn't that what you've all been saying?"

"I wasn't ready," Jaune said. "I still wanted to punish our enemies. I only just started wondering if that's the right thing to do."

"If it is or if it isn't," Pyrrha said, "would it matter if, in the end, it wouldn't work?"

"You see?" Cinder gestured wildly. "In the end it is all about power. Just the right kind. You don't have the power to force someone to do a thing, so you find another solution, or they kill you."

Neo made some signs at her.

"Just like she tricked you into helping her, I agree," Roman said.

"Oh, you were looking for anyone to blame," Cinder said. "You just couldn't accept that it was his own d--- fault."

Neo glared at her.

"Well, be that as it may--" Roman grabbed Neo's arm before she could do anything else "--you took advantage of it."

"And when I do that I'm evil, but when they do it they're just smart?" Cinder said.

"I believe your lying to her is the issue," Pyrrha said. "Isn't it just that no one wants to help you out of compassion?"

"Do not start with me, Nikos," Cinder said.

"No one but a few of us," Pyrrha said quietly, "whatever you do with that."

Cinder's anger turned to confusion, and she went silent.

"In the end," Oscar said, "if Cinder hadn't lied to Neo, and Neo hadn't helped her, she wouldn't have gotten Torchwick back."

"If I hadn't worked for Salem, I wouldn't have ever stopped being a thief, and I'd still be alone," Emerald said. "And who knows what Mercury would be doing?"

"Hey." He pretended to be offended.

"Heck, even if Hazel hadn't worked for Salem, he probably wouldn't have talked to Oscar and come to realize that his real path wasn't revenge," Jaune said.

Then he realized he probably should be careful not say that about Hazel--but the man did nothing to him, so he let out a sigh of relief.

 The mood lifted slightly.

* * *

Shine had to take some time to remind herself not to give in to discouragement at this final stretch.

"Sometimes, I don't know what You expect of me," she said to the heavens. "Moses had his hands full with the Israelites, and I really would like to hit a rock at times."

"But you still love them." Wally was suddenly leaning on a rock.

Shine jumped and put a hand to her chest. "Geez!"

"They're scared," Wally said, quietly. "All this is new to them. I'm a little sore at them too, honestly, but they've worked hard to get this far. Maybe we're expecting too much."

"Yeah..." Shine said. "I knew they'd not be crazy about what I did."

"But it worked," Wally said. "Don't you feel good about that?"

"I think I have a complex about feeling good about any success," Shine said. "I guess I spend too much time feeling I have to make up for not being what people want, and any success is just barely keeping me in that position."

"I get it," Wally said. "You really aren't that different from a superhero."

"That doesn't sound like a good thing."

"I think it's just what it is. Didn't you say everything people do has its pitfalls and its plus sides or something like that?"

"Sounds like me."

"Yeah... so this is just it. Ours is feeling like the weight of the world is on our shoulders and we can barely keep up no matter how fast we run. It makes sense."

"You ever feel like we're not the DJs they wanted, though?" Shine asked. "I've not thought that much about being in rivalry with Alicia or any other, and yet she sure sounded more uplifting than me. More focused on healing, not teaching. Everyone likes that better."

"And if that had worked, maybe they'd have a right to complain, but it didn't," Wally said. "They got us--the fastest hero in the world, and the sharpest teacher. Didn't you also tell me that things don't happen the same way twice? Or is that one of those books you like?"

"Prince Caspian says that."

"I knew it would be Lewis, whatever is was," Wally said.

"What? It never gets old."

"Well, if it helps, I think you're incredible," Wally said sincerely. "You've taught me plenty of things also. I mean, geez. And I know all about all this stuff I never did before. I wouldn't go back to being like I was before. And the same goes for the faith. Everything before that was like doing it halfway compared to now. This takes it all out of you, but I like that. Sometimes being a hero can feel too easy. It's nice to have to be fully into something."

"Yeah..." Shine tugged her hair. "Well, I've finally figured out why we're the perfect pair for these missions."

"Is it because of my wit and good looks?" Wally said.

"Oh, those are just ornaments, hon," Shine said. "It's because I come up with plans so fast, you're the only person who could ever act quick enough to carry them out the way I want."

Wally glanced at her, then he laughed. "Oh, gosh... is that a compliment?"

"Of course. Don't you know how hard it is to find people who can competently execute a plan and do it efficiently?" Shine raised an eyebrow. "It's a perfect yin and yang thing."

"I think I could live with that," Wally said. "I can see it now. That could be my slogan: 'I get your stuff done faster than anyone.'"

"You do chores faster," Shine said.

"Well, as long as you're happy," Wally joked. "But are you gonna be okay? I know the Ironwood thing was... Well, for both of us it wasn't a very nice reminder."

"Maybe it had to happen at some point, but it's strange--I don't even feel angry at Salem." Shine gestured widely. "I thought I would think of it when I talked to her, but I couldn't connect the person I was talking to to what happened at all. It was just like I was talking to a woman who had no idea what happened to herself and couldn't have told me why she killed Ironwood if I asked. She just does it."

"Isn't that the deal with the pond? Didn't they tell us that it gave her... 'desire for destruction' or something?" Wally said.

"I wonder what it's like to have that for no reason you can explain to yourself, but it's a part of you now," Shine mused. "We really don't know that she never fought it. But after hundreds of years, it's a losing battle, and she's given up."

"I think the others might think we're romanticizing her a little," Wally said. "She is evil. And she was a piece of work before she was Grimm."

"Really? I think I'd rather have liked her," Shine said. "Having the face to insult those gods. Ugh. Who wouldn't want to do that?"

"Sure, that's boss, but if you don't actually have a way to stop them, it's kind of crazy," Wally said.

"Is it? She's their monster, and they're Dr. Frankenstein," Shine said. [Of course Shine would know who the real Frankenstein is. She's no pleb.] "They made her immortal and unkillable, and she used it against them and threw it back in their faces. I almost like her spunk. But in the end, it's just sad."

"Didn't Oscar say she blamed everyone but herself, and that's what the Lamp said?" Wally said. "But it was still partly her fault."

"Oh!" Shine paced around. "Her fault for wanting her only friend and lover back? If that is a sin, then what does it say about the people Jesus did that for? His close friends, some of them. What does it say about us, believing in Him rising again? And that one day we all will? Salem is not damnable for wanting that."

"I agree," Wally said. "But she took it out on the entire world."

"If she thought that would work, it was her only escape," Shine said. "She saw that the gods must be removed from power if she's to be free. Don't you think it just kills her that accepting their damned curse (and I think that word is appropriate there) is the only way she can get out of this? Do they deserve that from her? They didn't have to make her immortal... Granted, she lied to them, but only just as they were unreasonable to her. Wally, I've thought about it all the time since Oscar told us the truth... I can't understand why anyone thinks Salem is responsible for this mess. She isn't."

"Yeah..." Wally sighed. "She is scary. But one thing I think now is that it's because of the gods. Maybe I wasn't scared of her--maybe I was scared of what they were, the evil they put inside her. I mean, no one made her jump into the pond, though."

"Yes... but how could they have failed to think that she would do something like that if left alone? Why did the god of darkness leave that pond? The god of light didn't leave his."

"That is weird..." Wally said. "I mean, the Lamp knew, so they have to know, right?"

"It's almost too convenient, isn't it?" Shine sad. "Curse a woman to live forever unless she understands life and death and then allow her to jump into a pond that will render her unable to value life, or even death, but just be driven to cause the latter forever and ever? She'd never answer their riddle like that. She knows it. She is doing all she can do. And while I can't excuse the horror she inflicted on humans over it, I also can't see anything that would induce her to care about them, given the situation she's in. What makes us love humans but that we think we are loved and loved by a good Creator? If I didn't think that, I wouldn't care at all about anyone else."

"You would, I'm sure."

"No, I wouldn't." Shine looked serious. "I know myself. If I didn't think there was reason to be good and loving, I wouldn't bother. I only do things I think there's reason for. I'm incurably pragmatic in that way. And God doesn't mind that, you know. He promises us rewards for doing good because He knows that good should be rewarded. That's the order of things. What if Salem is just like me? Can you blame her? Why should she cater to gods who would doom her over one error she made out of grief? And pride--but pride is in all humans, and it's in those gods also, or they wouldn't do these things, so they are just hypocrites."

"Well, they are anyway--they wanted Ozpin to unite a world when they're not even united themselves," Wally snorted. "I mean, get real. It's almost funny how stupid this whole mess is."

"But if I even try to point that out, they all get so antsy," Shine said. "Ironwood couldn't let go. I don't want to lose these people because they can't let go either. We still need them."

"Maybe they don't get that," Wally said. "Maybe they think we don't."

"I think sometimes we do," Winter interrupted them.

They both turned.

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