196: Who Has Won?
No one else realized it was a trap until the Grimm closed off the tunnels. But...
"Grimm aren't that smart." Jaune said the by-now-familiar complaint.
They'd stayed in bigger chunks than the last time they'd split off, just diving into the nearest canyons.
Qrow, Winter, Raven, and Hazel were all along one, with about half the teens, including Oscar/Ozpin. Also Ruby, Yang, Neptune and Sun.
But Blake had jumped down a different trench with team JNPR and Emerald and Mercury, and then Weiss and Meridian, after Theo and Vara. Before they could scramble back over, the tunnel had sealed off.
No one was sure where Shine and Wally were because they'd been on the ground already, and no one knew if Cinder was with those two, or just the other group... but if she was near a Maiden, they were in trouble if another Mind Grimm attacked.
So far no one detected any strange behavior, and all the Grimm they'd seen behind them had looked like normal hunting ones.
But once it became clear this must be a trap, Qrow and Raven both knew there was more to it.
"She must have separated us on purpose," Raven declared. "We've taken down too many Grimm together. I thought this whole rock formation was just a little too perfectly shaped for running down. I wonder if it's even natural."
"I don't recognize it," Hazel muttered. "It might be new."
"If another Mind Grimm attacks us," Winter spoke warily, "being in this large group could be a negative. The last one Shine thought was waiting was Pride. Pride is hard to detect because it starts in your head."
"I've read about pride," Oscar said, "in one of the books I've been studying. It's... really tricky. Also it's the source of every other sin. Do you think by the time we noticed it we'd already be pretty far into it?"
"Shine warned us not to think about it too much." Ruby rubbed her face. "Focusing on ourselves makes it worse. Which is what we're doing right now, instead of trying to get out of here."
"She's right," Hazel said. "Perhaps we could blast our way out of here."
"Oh, brilliant," Raven said sarcastically. "And if there's more rock over top, we could crush ourselves. Maiden powers don't come with anti-avalanche insurance."
"You don't have to be mean to him," Oscar reproved her.
"Shut up, Pint-Sized," Raven said meanly.
"Hey, careful." Qrow took her wrist, though she hadn't made a move to strike. "Remember, fighting is always how it starts."
Raven drew a deep breath that sounded like she was trying not to sock him in the jaw.
"Fine," she said tightly. "Assuming I want to slug you because of some Grimm and not because of your stupid face, what do you want to do? We can't go back, we can't blow the roof off the tunnel without risking being crushed, so we can only go forward."
"There's no going back, only going forward," Oscar said.
"Huh?" Ruby said.
"Shine says it a lot," Oscar said. "At first I thought it was just a cute, little maxim, like you put on a poster... but over time, I realized it's a warning also. She always says that when there's been mistakes made that you can't undo, you can only try to get around them and make a better choice... kind of like how the tunnels are sealed now, so we can't go back. We have to find another way out."
"That was kind of weirdly out there," Yang said.
"Maybe the longer we're here, the more I think metaphor and reality are merging together," Oscar said oddly.
Somehow that seemed a very appropriate thing for the host of Ozpin to say, and they had difficulty telling if it was like an Ozpin thought or an Oscar thought... or if in this case, they were really were like-minded.
"You ever think," Ruby said to Yang in a low voice once they'd started to move again, "that the reason the god of light picked like-minded people to bind Ozpin to was because it's easier for them to give into his will unquestioningly?"
"Ugh, that's horrible," Yang said. "But I wouldn't put it past that god. You know, I'll say this much for Shine and Wally's God, at least His punishments make more sense and don't involve sticking people into other people's bodies. Even if the fire and brimstone thing seems pretty harsh to me... but at least they get a chance to change their minds, not just whoosh--one big blast and it's over. No questions asked."
"Did you read the book?" Ruby asked.
"I... well, I read one of the little parts because Shine called me a name from it," Yang said grumpily. "It was a weird story though. There was a big fish like the Zeppelin or the Angler thing in it, and it ate someone. But then it spat him out."
"So like how we went into those fish?" Ruby said.
"I don't think it was a Grimm, Ruby... Speaking of Grimm, are you okay? You seemed really down after that attack. I was going to ask you about it before, but you kind of were avoiding us."
Ruby pulled her cloak a little tighter over her shoulder, disturbing Little, who was blissfully unaware of anything that was going wrong since she was asleep.
"I saw Mom when the Changelings attacked Oscar and me," she said.
"Oh... you too?" Yang said somberly.
She'd brushed off the whole thing easier than Ruby, partially because she'd already known it was probably a trick.
"It shook me up for a while," Ruby said. "But now I think I just need to finish this. She'd have finished it. Maybe... maybe if we finally stop Salem, I'll have peace with what happened to her. It won't be for nothing. Maybe she'd be okay with that." She shivered. "And maybe one day I will be."
"Ruby..." Yang put an arm around her. "That's so much pressure to put on yourself. Mom wouldn't expect us to do something she couldn't do like that. She did that to protect us, remember?"
"Yeah... sure..." Ruby said tightly. "But it didn't need to happen that way. No one needed to die."
"I don't know, Ruby, but I stopped trying to make sense of it a long time ago," Yang said. "I know that sucks, but we can't just live in the past."
"Easy for you to say," Ruby said in a tone that was not like her at all. "You still have a mom."
"What--hey!" Yang's eyes flashed red. "You know we have plenty of problems. I thought of Summer as my mom."
"You can keep saying that, Yang, but you wanted to find Raven your whole life. Do you think I'm stupid?" Ruby said. "You dragged me with you one time, and you were always leaving the house at weird times when Dad wasn't home. We never talked about it, but I knew."
Well, hit Yang right between the eyes.
"I... just didn't want you to worry..." she said.
"So I wouldn't worry just because it was a secret?" Ruby said. "It doesn't bother me just because I didn't know what happened exactly?"
Were they still talking about Yang?
"That doesn't make it better," Ruby said, darkly. "I always get left to take care of myself. And you act like just talking about it makes that okay. You still have a chance to know your mom... And even if she can be a jerk, she's not totally crazy, so you can still have something with her. I don't get that! So it's not the same for you."
"I'm sorry, but just because my mom may not be as big a b---- as we thought does not take away from losing Summer." Yang was mad now. "That's not how people work, Ruby. Having one person doesn't mean it's less painful to lose another person. Your mom and my mom are not interchangeable. I mean, what, you think I have one to spare?! What kind of sick way to look at it is that?"
"It's just... you... It's not fair!" Ruby burst out and ran away from her.
"Ruby!" Yang saw that everyone now was looking at her.
"Is everything okay?" Neptune asked.
Yang angrily punched one of the walls.
She cracked the stone.
"Uh... don't do that again," Qrow said.
"What's going on?" Raven asked.
"Someone should go after Ruby," Oscar said.
Ruby had run past them all.
"I can," Yang said. "I mean, I have to."
"You just made her angry. I wouldn't advise it," Raven said.
"What would you know?" Yang growled at her.
"Miss Xiao Long," Winter said firmly, "do not speak to your mother or any adult in that tone. We are all trying to keep our heads. Remember that is critical?"
"Oh, really--" Yang began and then stopped.
Which was actually pretty remarkable. In the past, even under normal circumstances, she wouldn't have.
"Okay, maybe we should just take five," Neptune suggested. "I know we're in a rush, but it's really important that we stay calm also. Everyone just want to pause?"
"Someone has to find Ruby before she gets lost," Qrow said.
"I'll do it," Winter surprisingly said.
"You will?" Raven said strangely.
"I believe anyone she's reasonably close to may only upset her further," Winter said calmly. "At times, family is harder to be honest with. We can only go one direction up this tunnel. It should only take a few minutes."
She went off down one.
"We shouldn't be splitting up," Hazel said.
"You got a better idea for fixing this?" Qrow asked him.
He shrugged.
"It's okay, Winter can handle it," Sun said. "She's pretty cool. We should all just chill, like Neptune said. And not hit the wall, because it looks like it's pretty breakable."
"About that," Hazel said, "why? If it's supposed to be a trap."
"Hmph, that's actually a good question for once." Raven tapped the wall. "Unless the rock isn't the real trap. Maybe us trying to bust out of here and killing ourselves in the process is what she wants... In fact, if we had a fight in here, that's what would happen... and the Mind Grimm make us fight. Rhinehart, that was honestly an impressive deduction."
"I don't think I deduced anything..." Hazel had only gotten as far as thinking it was poor building supplies.
"Maybe you're better when you're not trying then," Raven muttered.
"Okay... so the trap is meant to cave in on us..." Sun said. "Wow...cool..." He said cool like he meant "scary".
[A fragile structure that looks more impressive than it is is a great metaphor for what pride makes us into. But it only takes a few blows to damage our ego. Wasn't my goal, but it kind of fits.]
* * *
"Ruby," Winter called.
Ruby had run just a little out of sight and then stopped, leaning on the wall.
She could see herself reflected in the black stone in front of her, using the flashlight.
(Raven had thought to grab some of these while in Vacuo.)
Ruby thought the stone made her look older and more tired with its darker tints.
"Miss Rose." Winter came into view.
"I don't want to talk to you," Ruby said. "I'll come back. I just... it's not fair."
Winter suppressed any irritation she had at Ruby wasting time in this manner. Clearly she was upset.
"Miss Rose, perhaps you're right, but we also know that there are dangers of being incited into this bickering. Are you positive that it's not just that?"
"It's not just that," Ruby said. "I was already upset. It's not always Grimm, you know." She frowned.
[Hear that, Volume 6? Not every emotional crisis is Grimm!]
"Of course not," Winter said evenly. "But I think your sister was trying to help you."
"It's not fair," Ruby said rebelliously. "Yang was trying to tell me not to be so focused on my mom. But she already has a mom. I don't. And I never will. No one else knows what that's like."
"I believe Mr. Pine might." Winter glanced back, but no one else seemed to have caught up yet.
"Well... but he doesn't try to make me feel like it's not a big deal," Ruby hedged.
"Perhaps Miss Xiao Long is just worried about you," Winter suggested, "not making light of it. Summer seems to have been important to her also."
"Everyone keeps trying to get me to be okay with what happened to her," Ruby said. "But I don't want to be okay with it. I want her with me. I wanted her to be there. I don't care if it would have been worse for everyone else, I still wanted it."
Winter stared at her.
Now most people would have tried to be comforting.
And Winter did feel sympathy for Ruby--but she was incurably someone who took the unconventional approach to these matters, without really being self aware about it. Sometimes she could be as impulsive as Ruby herself.
So instead of sympathy, she just said, without really considering if it was wise, "It's not as idyllic as you may think."
"Wh-what?" Ruby wasn't ready for that.
"Of all the people in this team and outside of it who even have both parents, I'd say few of them get along with them perfectly," Winter said candidly. "Including myself. My mother and father are alive. I have never liked my father. And he does not care for me either. Your relationship with your own father is not perfect, I daresay."
"Well, no, but he's a good dad," Ruby said.
"But he's not perfect."
"No one is," Ruby said, a bit warily. "So?"
"So? Miss Rose, it seems to me you have constructed this image of your mother as the solution to all your problems," Winter said. "Your life wouldn't have had any ill in it with her there?"
"What? No..." Ruby trailed off.
"But it's not factual," Winter said. "We have no proof whatsoever that your mother would have made your life perfect or that you'd have been happier with her in it. Her choice indicates to me that there was some disagreement with her and her team about what to do about this Salem business as it was."
"I... Wait, you're not saying that it's better not to have her?" Ruby said.
"Of course not, but, Miss Rose, the cold, hard truth about parents is that not all of them make your life measurably better." Winter was clipped. "My father is a monster, and my mother was for many years entirely powerless to do anything to help us or herself. I never thought that would change. And if it has now, it was not because I stood by and waited for it to change with no action on my own. Weiss and I had to make our own way. For all the help my father was, I'd say not having one would have made it easier, if anything. That does not mean I wish him dead. It's complicated. But I have come to see that things are not always the way they should be in families, and you must learn to live with it."
"My mom was a good person," Ruby said.
"I gathered, but she could not have been perfect, Miss Rose," Winter said. "In some ways... I almost envy you."
"Envy me?" Ruby sputtered.
Winter leaned on the rock for a moment, staring at her own reflection.
"All you can remember of your mother is that she cared for you," she said in a low voice. "The good things. Your image of her in your memory is never going to be tarnished by any unfairness, any time she ever failed you. That is what happens if you live with anyone long enough, Miss Rose--they will disappoint you. You will only remember the good things, what really matters. Many people would love to even have such memories."
Ruby bit her lip. "Even if that's true, I still want her."
"I know," Winter said. "And of course you should." She looked up. "But that is not reality, Miss Rose. The reality still is you lost her already, but you know she loved you and that was why she made her choice. More time with her would have either confirmed that, or it would have made it harder because people are not perfect. And the time we get with someone is always full of both good and bad moments. If I'd lost my parents after any of the numerous fights I had with either one of them, my final memory of them would be far worse than yours. But I cannot know that I will always be at peace with them either. I am not suggesting that you should not have wished for more time. Time is precious. But I suggest that your relationship with her, while brief, is perhaps no less rich than many people who have their parents for a long time and spend very little of that time really understanding them. If you know what was important, you should hold onto that. That is all you'd have needed."
Ruby was quiet for a moment.
Then she hugged her sides. "But all the time she could have... been there for."
"That is my point, Miss Rose. There is no reason to think that she'd have understood them any better than anyone else," Winter said firmly. "As I said, it's not always helpful. You picture the best in her... then her example has probably done more for you than many people's real time spent with their parents has accomplished. Perhaps she would have helped you. I do not know. But one thing I do know is that sometimes you must learn to stand on your own feet, take your own path, and that your mother could not and should not have done that for you. If she was a good mother, she'd know that and expect you to make your own choices. Because we must. My point is, whatever benefits you would have had with her around, it does not mean you have not had them in different ways. You have family who support you. Not many people have that."
Ruby frowned.
"Of course the death of one person is not canceled out by other good," Winter said. "I would not tell anyone to think that. But to ask if it's fair... well, people have lost much more than you have and had no one else. Life is not fair, Miss Rose... but yours may not have been tragic all through. Most of your family is here with you, still able to help you. That is a great blessing that you have."
"Well... I mean, you have Weiss..." Ruby said.
"Yes... and I settled a long time ago that I was to have no expectations for the rest of my family," Winter said. "Weiss chose to maintain that with me and I with her. I'm grateful. But I would have gone on either way. Because my father does not dictate my life to me. Any help they have given, I am duly grateful for, but I will not make it my crutch--or my excuse to do less than my best because they did not help. My life is my responsibility. And may I say, trying to be like your mother, while admirable in one way, is not something you should base your entire life on. No human being's legacy is ever ideal, and you must find your own."
Ruby blinked at her.
"You know, that was not what I thought you'd tell me," she said. "I was upset, and you just... just went into this whole thing about how it's silly to be upset for a whole other reason."
"I didn't say it was silly to be upset," Winter said. "But to blame it on your family, who have actually tried to help you, who have been there for you in your life, well, that is foolish, Miss Rose. What issues you have with your mother are your own, and not your sister's problem."
That was kind of harsh thing to say.
But at the same time, it was only fair, and Ruby suddenly felt that she'd been out of line to blow up at Yang.
"I... No... you're right," she said slowly, clearing of anger finally.
She sighed. "Ever since the Changelings showed me my mom, I've been feeling like it wasn't fair that I lost her. And that's all I've been thinking about. Just me, me, me. Is that the real danger? Like I'm the only one who's suffered. But it still hurts."
Winter hadn't known that was what started this... How dreadful!
Suddenly she was very glad they hadn't affected her.
"Ruby--" she put a hand on Ruby's shoulder. "--this sadness is not your enemy. It shows that you cared. That's right. It's only natural. But don't let this sadness turn you against what you know is right. Sadness is not necessarily a negative emotion, but if you let it make you bitter, you will forget that the value of things is only valuable while you can appreciate them. Don't forget what your mother would have wanted for you in your grief over her, or she's forgotten already."
Ruby sniffed.
[What Winter just described is actually part of psychology when it comes to grief. Grief shows that something mattered, and when we grieve in a clean way, it's actually good for us. Sadness can be a good emotion if it's over something worthwhile. But when grief becomes anger and hatred and blame, instead of bringing us peace, it only makes us bitter and emotionally shut down. Sometimes what helps people when that happens is to remember why they were sad to begin with and revisit the value of the person or thing they lost and then let it go. Then there's peace. A lot of depression is actually caused by grief that is not processed this way and is pushed aside till it becomes part of you.]
After a few moments of some silent tears on Ruby's end, and uncomfortable silence on Winter's, since she didn't really know how to do this part, Ruby wiped her eyes.
"Thanks," she said finally. "Somehow, I think that's what I needed to hear. Nothing comforting has really made it any better. That's not what Mom... Well, it's not what bothers me. It's feeling like she's lost forever and I'll never get that back. But... you're right. I have it. I have what's real already, I know that."
[I defy Vol. 9 to get anywhere close to this level of making Ruby's issues make sense. Don't get me started on that.]
Ruby then smiled a watery smile. "I think Shine tried to tell me that a while ago, after the Hound, but I didn't understand her then, that Salem can't really destroy someone's soul. That's not her power... and maybe that's what Yang wanted to tell me. I should probably apologize to her for losing it. But... can I ask... Winter, don't you... don't you wish you and your mom were closer? I mean... don't you miss all the time you lost?"
Winter was somber, then she said, "Yes, Miss Rose, of course I miss it. But she is who she is. I can't get a different mother... and perhaps on that note, your sister feels the same about hers. Raven is... a complicated woman, from what I know of her, but she's not all bad. Your sister and I both have to accept having mothers who are alive and not what we'd have wished in our lives. And we have to make the most of it. So what I miss, and what I know is possible, they are two different things. That may not sound very kind, but it is what is real. Still, in their own ways, as people and not just mothers, they may be all right. The truth is, not everyone is suited to the same thing, and you must take them as they are--a thing I do not have the easiest time with, but it's become apparent since this entire mission started that it's unavoidable."
"Hasn't it just?" Ruby thought of Mercury wryly. "Yeah, people are weird... You know, you're right too... I... I'm always going to wish for that. That's still true. But... well, it's also true that I have people who are trying to help me right now. I could be alone. I don't know why I keep forgetting about that."
"We get focused on ourselves very easily." Winter couldn't help but think of Shine's warning yet again.
At least Ruby seemed all right now.
Then Ruby startled her by hugging her.
"Thanks for trying to help," she said quietly. "We should go back... before something else goes wrong."
"Yes..." Winter was a bit at a loss.
Ruby let go and headed back resolutely.
Winter thought somehow she looked both older and younger than before. She noted that Ruby had managed to put aside her emotional storm for the moment, as an adult would have to do... but also she'd accepted what was said with less anger and pride, like a child. She supposed that was why Ruby inspired trust from people, because she did both those things.
[I think the real point is that Ruby is not emotionless or just disregarding her feelings--she's simply rising above them but also with the support and help of other people. Which is what real maturity is. You do need to accept reality and allow that to bother you at times, but you do not need to let it define you. Feelings are unpredictable and not always reliable. That's why you can't trust them to guide you, but you do need to pay attention to them. I like that Winter is actually the one who even on the show is the voice of reason who points this out to Weiss.]
The others were just about to go after the two girls, but then Ruby came back into view and nodded at them, then she walked up to Yang.
"I'm sorry," she said quietly. "I was wrong to blow up like that... Can you forgive me?"
Yang had thankfully managed to calm down while they were waiting. Neptune's suggestion had actually worked.
"Yeah, don't worry about it," she sighed. "At least you're okay."
She hugged her.
Winter walked around to some very surprised looks.
"Well, let's get a move on," Raven said when no one else spoke.
She nodded at them, and they all began to move forward again.
Qrow gave Winter a pretty impressed look, to her embarrassment.
"What?" she said uneasily.
"I don't know what you said, but... thank you," Qrow said.
Winter smiled faintly.
[Aww...
I wouldn't get used to the good feels though.]
* * *
While that group managed to navigate for a while safely enough, Theo and Vara did not do so well, being the only adult chaperones to a group of not very emotionally stable teens.
Well, Pyrrha and Jaune weren't so bad, but everyone else was already arguing within 10 minutes of being lost.
Blake wanted to try to find a way to get to her friends, while Mercury said they should just go forward and try to break out of this place.
Theo and Vara were not good mediators, neither of them being particularly level-headed themselves.
[Yeah, worst babysitters ever.]
Vara, lacking the caution of the other adults to realize it was probably a bad idea, tried to blast a way out of the tunnel.
Well, she knocked out a wall that just led into another passageway and then almost caved in the one they were in, so they had to run into that one.
After that, Theo said they shouldn't blast any more walls.
But since this tunnel was not one of the ones the Grimm had sealed them in deliberately, it seemed to split off into several different tunnels, as part of the maze-like rock formations.
They weren't sure which way to go, and after trying some that just led to either dead ends or split off into other smaller tunnels and might have looped back to the original one, for all they knew, they were hopelessly turned around.
They couldn't get out either. The rocks were formed over the tunnel in this area. It was like being in an ant hill.
[Yeah, Grimm ants, that's all we need.
Actually termites also live in hills/mounds... even worse.]
"Anyone else tired of getting lost in different rocks?" Nora asked.
"Yes!" they all said crossly.
"I do worry," Pyrrha said in a low voice to Jaune. "Most of the people here are... well, not ones who have been particularly resistant to the Grimm attacks. No DJs either. I'm not sure I could keep control or keep anyone in check if one starts."
"Pyrrha, if we even get out of here, we can worry about that," Jaune said.
"Not if we're trapped in here with it," Pyrrha said.
Jaune had no words of comfort for that scenario.
Pyrrha was annoying him slightly with her perpetual focus on this, however. [🚩]
* * *
Shine, Wally, and Cinder found no exit from the tunnel they were in, and it seemed it had been at least an hour, though they couldn't really tell in here.
Shine hardly spoke in this time except to mutter prayers, verses, or songs.
Cinder hadn't dared say a word, but Wally kept shooting her wary looks like he thought she might attack.
She knew better than to try; he was much too fast for her to possibly land a hit before he knocked her out.
Finally, the tunnel changed.
It didn't let out into the open air, but overhead the rocks formed into a kind of glass-looking dome, and the rock was thinner at the top so that light came in slightly through it.
"Well, we could get out," Wally said, looking up. "If we could fly."
Shine looked at Cinder, then she shrugged. "Oh, well. Perhaps there's still a way."
She walked farther into the domed area.
It was much bigger. The light was so faint that they still could see hardly anything, except by the sword light.
Shien's eyes gleamed gold suddenly.
"That happened before," Cinder finally said something. "You said it was a warning."
"This time it's on purpose, Fall." Shine's use of her last name chilled Cinder more than you'd expect. "I can see them. They're not far, but they must be through layers of this rock. We might break through, but we might bring it down on them. Perhaps picking our way out is the wisest option."
"Your... Sight? It's back." Cinder had barely even understood what this was, but the others had spoken of it before till she put it together.
Shine didn't bother to answer her. "Salem is still hard to track, but there's a mass of darkness that way."
She pointed to what they believed was still northward. "I'm betting she's there or past it."
"Okay..." Wally said. "Should we be trying to break out of here or just keep walking the tunnel?"
"We can bet the tunnel is a trap, but I'm not sure the outside of it isn't also," Shine said. "She'd have to account for us possibly getting out. There's definitely something waiting outside for us. You and I might handle it, if it was just a Grimm. But if it's not, well..." She trailed off.
"I'd rather risk it than walk right into whatever she's got waiting for us," Wally said.
"Yes...that might--" Shine broke off and gasped.
"What?" Wally said.
Her sword flashed brightly while Shine looked away.
Where she'd just walked they saw...items.
Human items... and skeletons.
And the marks of what appeared to be a fight.
https://youtu.be/JTlXH5xF1pg
[Found this song, "Pride and Fear", and thought it fit the Grimm lands and the themes of this part well.]
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