NATASHA

"Really Niklaus? A penthouse?; Your penthouse?" I rolled my eyes. Dane chuckled, but as soon as he saw the look on my face, the smirk was wiped off his face.
"I couldn't send you over to Milan could I?" He said, "that'd be a free escape ticket. You aren't leaving that easily."
"Fair point." Dane said. I wanted to slap him across the face, although we had already talked about his mistake.
"Plus, you cannot fail with this view can you?" Niklaus chuckled. "splendido."
We stared at Niklaus in silence.
"Okay I get it, I'll leave you's alone." He snickered, "but no escaping tonight smartie-pants, body-guards and all."
"Privacy is a thing if you didn't realise by now Niklaus." Dane replied.
"I'll have them downstairs then. Buonanotte piccioncini!" Niklaus said, mumbling a few words afterwards, while scrolling on his phone, a green light cast across his entire face, "ruby league already baby!"
"Is he using. . . Duolingo?" I said.
"He's really unpredictable isn't he. Even during my detective days. Oh the good times-"
This was the one situation where it was perfectly okay to gently slap his face. "It's only been a few weeks you've been away from that pathetic office." I laughed. "You're 25; not 75 yet."
"Yet." He said, "Alright maybe I did over-exaggerate that a little bit."
"You think?"
"Oh my god Natasha. . . I've just realised that this is our honeymoon." Dane said.
"Uh." I scoffed, "alright?"
He chuckled awkwardly, "I'll be right back!"
Dane ran off, leaving his small temporary phone on the counter, gifted by Niklaus. When he came back, Dane had a cheeky, suspicious look on his face.

"You're gonna want to see this Natasha." Dane giggled.

﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋

"What the hell." I said, as I stared in disbelief at the sight I was seeing. The bed had red rose petals all over it. "Did you do this?"
"No!" He claimed, "I'm telling you, Niklaus bloody Russo, did this."
I squinted my eyes, grabbing the petals one by one, and throwing them into the trash in the bathroom. "okay whatever. Niklaus tried his best."

Dane was quietly opening each drawer from the bedside tables, "No, he is trying his best."
"What?"
"Look."
I looked inside the drawers.
"For fucks sake, usually these drawers have bibles in them; not-"
"Dildos!" Dane said, throwing the bendy piece of rubber around in the air.
"Seriously?"
"Sword fight?" Dane chuckled, "come on!"
"No." I giggled.
"You're a buzzkill Natasha."
"I'm not touching that."
Dane opened the drawer again, and pulled something out again. It started buzzing violently in his hand.
"Vibrating dildo!!" He screamed in excitement, putting the vibrating slab of rubber on the side of his face, "that feels really good."
"Dane!" I facepalmed.
He switched it off and placed it down. "Sorry."
"Anyway-how are we supposed to escape when we're in this sickly penthouse now?"
"How long are we staying here for?"
"Probably a week!"
"Fuck."

﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋

I was super bored. The only source of entertainment was the rubber penises in the drawers; that were certainly not going to be used. The smell of burning came from a distance, and I had to go check what it was.

Of course it was Dane, standing in the kitchen with pancake batter beside him and a pan in his hand.
"Hey, I tried. I'm telling you, this time they are much better."
The pancakes were relatively normal, except for the excessive amount of burnt ash on the rim of the pancakes.
"This one actually looks edible, unlike your cremation shenanigan from before." I laughed.
"Try it!" Dane squealed.
For a moment I didn't know if I should eat it, because it was Dane's pancakes after all. "They're actually-good??"
"Must've been the horrible pans Ian owned then." He chuckled. "Definitely must've been."
As I ate more of Dane's pancakes, I noticed him glancing at me.

"What?" I chuckled dryly.
"Nothing." He smiled.
"No seriously what." I looked at him, "did you put something in these pancakes."
"No!" He said, scoffing underneath his breath, "do you not trust me?"
I put the pancakes down on the counter and walked away. Sometimes dealing with Dane was a waste of time.

I decided since I was in here-it was a good chance to embark upon the exploration of the mysterious drawers.

I opened the first drawer, everything I'd seen from before, but then when I opened the other draw from the other side, I was astonished. "Dane come over here!"

﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋

"A safe?" He said, "Niklaus is definitely setting something up."
"Well?" I rolled my eyes, "let's try figuring out the code detective!"
"One, two, three, four." He mumbled, while the numbers beeped as he pressed them. The light flashed green, and the safe popped open like a microwave. "What the fuck?"
"That was quick!" I opened the safe a little more, and there was a note inside.

"inquisitive little bitches" with Niklaus's signature on the corner of the note.

"Great. Just great." He sighed, "that got us absolutely nowhere."
"What were you expecting?" I said, "a bar of gold?"
"Certainly not whatever this is." He said, scrunching up the lined paper and attempting to throw it into the bin from afar. It bounced off the edge of the trash. "Oh for fucks sake."

﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋

I felt like a stereotypical abhorred single mother making dinner for the oversized child waltzing around in this penthouse. The fact that he couldn't cook for shit made it worse. Shockingly the fridge was actually stocked; just gotta hope that the food in there is actually edible and not some diabolical laboratory waste that Niklaus stuffed in there.

Dane leaned against the counter, "you know I could help instead of making me just watch you."
"who told you, that you could watch me?" I chuckled as I stirred the pan, "besides you're gonna burn the entire penthouse down.
"Isn't that good? We'd evacuate the house without having to worry about the stupid guards."
"How is that a good-"
"Oh my god Natasha the buzzkill, please." Dane said, as he pushed me away from the stove using his hips. He stirred the pan and giggled. "I'm a good cook."

"He doesn't know how to even cook." I muttered under my breath, praying I wasn't too loud when I said that.
He turned around and walked towards me. "Natasha."
"You don't know how to cook Dane." I said, "you suck at cooking. Look you've just left the pan there!"
Dane's face frowned a little bit, and I realised I may have hurt his feelings a bit too much. "You judged me over stupid pancakes I made in Ian's house? Unbelievable."
"If you can't make pancakes what on earth can you make." I said.
"Uh." Dane thinned his lips an scoffed loudly, "seems like you're the CEO of cooking so I should probably just hand it to you again.
I put my finger on his chest and pushed him, "yes, fucking finally. Let me cook before you set yourself on fire."
"Why don't you want me to cook? I can cook for you-"
"No."
"You're judging me over pancakes!" He moued, "pancakes Natasha!"
"If you can't make pancakes you can't make anything!"
"You said that they're actually good."
"You just got lucky." I tried covering my smile.
"I wouldn't wish a more stubborn wife upon my worst enemy."
I forgot I was his wife for a few moments there. I am his wife. My face flustered and all I could do was turn away.
"Oh come on. Why'd you end it like that? I was really liking the toxic on-the-brink-of-divorce couple argument." He whined. "Argue with me Natasha."
I turned to face him again. "How did you want me to end it then?"
"Like this." Dane sighed, and gripped me by my jaw and kissed me, trailing his wet kisses down the side of my neck. He pulled away, and smiled sweetly, his blue eyes radiating even more now than ever. "I'm gonna continue whatever you were making. I promise I can cook love."
"You can't just!-" I tugged his arm, and lowered my voice, "you can't just leave me hanging like that after you just slobbered all over my neck!"
"Right." He picked me up from behind my legs, making me let out a soft gasp, and I put my arms around him, as he sunk his lips into my collarbone.

[listen to fire for you - cannons for the best experience *wink* *wink*]

He threw me onto the freshly made bed, moving my hair behind my ear while his chiseled body lay on top of me. "Have I set something else on fire now Natasha?"
"Maybe" I chuckled, and in this moment I could feel all of my body's blood rush frantically behind my cheeks. I couldn't do anything in this situation, except give him full control over me, as if he possessed me with his gorgeous eyes.
Dane kissed my bottom lip so hard till it had its own pulse, shifted his hand to my neck, and dragged his hot kisses all the way from my neck, to my thighs, it's burns lingered on my skin, and he pulled the little remaining amount clothes that were on me, off me. One touch of him made me lose all the control I had over myself, and feeling this type of weakness with someone was something new, something I'd never felt before. He locked his fingers in between mine, and pinned them down to the pillow, until all of me was restricted. The air surrounding us started to become heavier, including our breaths.
"Is this okay for you darling?" He whispered.
"Yes." I uttered softly. We found sustenance in each others lips, a sexy although comforting feeling. His mouth met my collarbone again, biting me with his mini daggers, as it barricaded his low groans, when he dragged his tongue, gradually lowering it down my body, sending electric impulses throughout my entire body.
"Spread your legs for me Natasha, I want to make you feel good." He muttered, while he held onto my legs, locking his eyes with mine, while his head was between my thighs.
"You taste so fucking good" He groaned, as the words fell out his mouth, filling me with heat.
But Lord was he huge. It scared me for what was about to come (🤨).
"Dane I don't think-"
He silenced me with his finger against my lips, "I promise I wont hurt you," He snickered, "but if you want I can-"
"Say less."
He left hot kisses on my neck again, as he carefully put it into me. It felt like fireworks. It felt like this was supposed to happen. It never felt like this with Ian.
Dane blocked out the whimpers exiting my mouth with his lips against mine, as his gentle thrusts sent shockwaves through me. The sloppy, muffled kisses, and the sensation between me was all too much at once. I put my arms around his sculpted body, and he whispered sweet nothings into my ears.
"Oh your so drenched baby," he said lowly.
"Can you go harder please?" I cried in pleasure, as my fingernails dug deeper into his back.
"As you wish gorgeous."

﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋

Dane pumped the mango and coconut scented shampoo bottle three times.
"Three freaking times!?"
"What?" He said, as he foamed up the shampoo in his hands.
"You've gotta pump it like 10 times."
"Fine I'll pump it seven more times just for you."

As he rubbed the shampoo in between his fingers, just staring at them brought me flashbacks of what had just happened minutes ago. Stop thinking about it Natasha.
It became frothy, and he massaged it into my scalp gently.
"You're good at shampooing; but definitely not cooking."
"Glad to know you haven't changed at all in the span of half an hour." He laughed, but his expression grimaced as we both heard the smoke alarms blaring barely a room away, "oh shit."

﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋

"This was all you Dane." I dryly laughed, staring at the smokey scenery in front of us.
"How was this all me." He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.
"You were the one who booted me off from cooking and initiated that whole shenanigan!"
"Yeah, maybe. But does it really matter now?"
"I'm never letting you cook again. Not only did you waste those suspiciously perfect tomatoes, you've made the whole penthouse smell like burnt plastic! Niklaus is going to kill us!"
"You're cute when you're mad. I'll piss you off just to see you like this again."
"God you're so corny."