A FEW WORDS:
Raj-vedic - The royal healer
Beta - Child (said in a loving manner, usually)
---

❝She loves him more than he'll ever know,
And he loves her more than he'll ever show.
What a tragedy.❞

---

THE floor spinned beneath her feet and her breath hitched in her throat, burning and scratching the words that wanted to come out and establish their existence. Her head was a mess - a mess of tangled threads that could no longer differentiate between the bloodstained truth and white lies. She tried to comprehend the words that had left his mouth just a moment ago - "She's no more."

"I am so sorry" He whispered even though his voice was more than clear, his gaze spilling a thousand apologies to her as Shree sobbed behind them, her breaths forced and ragged. 

It didn't feel real. It couldn't. 

'No, not again. Please, not again. This is a cruel joke. Someone stop it. Please, please, please.' She pleaded to whatever deity was ready to listen, silently and helplessly chanting this prayer over and over again until it were the only words that were ingrained in her blood and bones.  

"What?" The sovereign's voice was barely a whisper as she looked back at the door where Kartik stood, looking down at the floor with so much guilt that it felt infectious, "What do you mean?"

When he didn't answer, she put her hands in a fist, the nails drawing blood from her calloused palms as she forced her voice not to break, "Look up and answer, I asked you a question." 

He continued, "She was gravely injured during the attack and we tried our very best, the raj-vedic tried his best but..."

"No" An inaudible cry left the queen's throat as she walked backwards - away from two figures - towards the edge of the bed, her feet barely supporting her crumbling figure. Her hand was on the shell of where her hollow heart might be as if she was trying to soothe the ache that was spreading like wildfire through her system.

She turned away from both of them as tears welled up in her eyes and she pushed her hand against her chest harder. 

Thump, thump, thump. Her heart beat and for a moment that was the only sensation that could remind her that she was alive and breathing, that she was not in a nightmare that could be stopped. 

'Breath in, breathe out. Don't cry. Don't cry Akira. Don't- Wait till they are gone. Don't break down, don't fall apart, don't-' She couldn't let them both see her cry. It's a sign of weakness if she cries in front of them - that's what she was always taught. 

'You cry and you are weak. Crying is a sign of weakness, beta.' Her father's voice echoed in her mind and she breathed through her mouth, dug her nails in her palms to distract herself, doing anything to hold back the waterworks. 

She could never let anyone see that the girl who was burdened with being fearless and tough at such a young age was at last just a human, right?

'You did this,' Another part of her yelled, 'She is dead because of you. You brought this upon yourself, you do not deserve anyone's pity. Letting the impostor live had it's consequences and this is part of them.'  

Shree murmured, her voice was choked up and her hand was resting on Akira's shoulder as she forced her thoughts back into this nightmarish reality, "I'm sorry Aki-"

"Get out." The queen's voice was low but dangerous. It sounded like a mad lullaby, a gateway to hell, a force to be reckoned with.

"Akira-" Shree started again; ready to offer her some sympathy, offer some apologies, offer something - anything - to her friend she believed she had failed.

"I SAID GET OUT." Her voice broke in places as she tried to control the tears which threatened to fall, burning her eyes and leaving nothing but emptiness on their way, "BOTH OF YOU GET OUT, RIGHT NOW."

Akira heard Shree's footstep retreat outside hesitantly after a minute but she could still feel a pair of eyes looking at her, burning holes in the back of her head. 

"I asked both-" The queen felt her throat close up, her eyes itched to let go of the tears they were holding but she continued, "both of you to leave and that includes you too Kartik. Leave before I make you."

He said nothing - just stood there behind her silently - and before she knew it, he was next to her and the next moment her head rested against his chest. Her arms were holding him as he was her last pillar of support, the last physical thing that could stop her from turning to dust and merging into the earth.

His chin rested on top of her head as she tried to hold in the tears long enough for him to not see. She buried her head against his chest, focusing on hearing his calm heartbeat to distract herself from the pain that made its way through her body, setting everything on fire.

He spoke loud enough for her to hear, "Let it out Akira."

And she obeyed.

Despite the voices in her chanting her to hold those salty streams back, tears passed the threshold of her eyes as she sobbed into his chest. Years and years of burying her emotions in finally came out to the surface in forms of sobs and cries as he held her against himself, letting her pour it all out once and for all, letting her get rid of the water that was slowly drowning her.

"She's gone..." She mumbled against him and he held her tighter as if protecting her from anything and everything. Protecting her from anything that might hurt her, which was ironic since he was the one who was hurting her, "Everyone's gone Kartik."

Kartik shut his eyes, trying to subdue the amount of guilt that coursed through his veins at this given moment.

She went on, her voice broken and crumpled into a thousand unkown pieces, "Veer is gone, Baba's gone, Maa's gone. Aziza and shree-" She sniffled harder as her figure shook with more cries, "I don't even know now. No one is here anymore. Everyone left..." She paused and softly muttered, "Everybody."

"No" He murmured back, holding her close like it was the only thing he was taught to do in this lifetime and all those about to come after this one, "I'm still here Akira."

She stayed silent, her soft sobs answering for her but then she spoke, "No... you're not."

The sovereign wanted to almost laugh at the irony. The person who was hurting her the most was him yet he was the only one she could turn to comfort during her most vulnerable moments.

Irony at its best again.  

Akira pulled away from him, her hands wiping away the tears as fast as humanly possible and she looked him in his eyes with so much vulnerability that it felt as if she will just shatter then and there.

"Why are you here Kartik?" Her voice was pained, broken, shattered. She didn't want to know his answer yet she couldn't resist asking him again and again until he uttered out the sharp shards truth that will cut through her fragile figure and leave her bloody.

"What?" He asked softly as he took a step closer but she stepped back, extending a hand to keep distance between them.

"Why" She felt the tears well up again but she held them back, "are you here?"

"Akira," He spoke softly, softer than she had ever heard him before. He was afraid that his words would somehow end up hurting her more than his actions. 

"No, I know why you are here," Thousand of unnamed emotions ran through her veins, "I have known it since you came here. You kept lying and I kept wishing that those lies were the truth. I kept hoping that you were just some guy here to marry me, to win me over but you and I," She sniffed, wiping the tears with the back of her hand again, "We both know exactly why you are here." 

"Please just listen-" He held her hand which was the only thing in between them as he pleaded, his eyes begging for forgiveness, a chance, anything to explain himself.

"No." Akira pushed his touch away and not a second later, her eyebrows furrowed together and the tears once again rolled down, "You were responsible for this attack weren't you? No more lies, Yuvraj. Tell me the truth."

"Akira" He started, his voice straining with the effort to comfort her, to hold her as the world came crashing down upon her like a mighty wave, to undo all that he had done, "Please let me explain-"

She laughed at herself and shook her head as she turned away from him, "You were responsible for this." Her hands wiped the tears off her face almost as it was second nature, "I can believe I didn't figure this out before. You did it." 

He momentarily shut his eyes; his voice was utterly defeated, "Yes"

"Wait, is this why you wanted a tour of the kingdom? Of our palace?" Another laugh left the brink of her lips, this one filled with astonishment and self-pity, "Oh my god, of course you did. I am so naïve. I should have listened to Shree when she told me to kill you."

"No, no Akira please just try to understand-"    

"Give your silver tongue some rest Yuvraj, isn't it tired from all the lies you have spinned?" She stayed still with her back to him, thousands of thoughts running through her mind and her heart still churning over his words.

"You should leave." Her voice was more of a whisper than a command.

"What?"

She was yet again facing conflict. Her heart screamed at her to hold him close, to hold him until this hell of a life broke and fell on her head, ending everything and giving her some peace. But her brain stood tough as stones, commanding her to make the rational choices, to fulfill the promise she made to her people to keep them safe, to let him go.

'This is your chance to let him go. Get away from him Akira, get away.' The voices hissed, warning and commanding her.

"You should go," She turned around – finally choosing the rational option – and wiped away any tears that had fallen as she tried to take up her stone cold expression again, "Leave this palace and I won't kill you."

"Akira," He walked one step forward, pleading, his eyes seemed watery ever-so-slightly, "Please just hear me out. Once, just once-"

She felt frustrated. Everything was going wrong as if life had thrown every curve ball possible at her at once as she couldn't escape any of them.

"I don't have anything to hear and you have nothing to say." She closed her eyes, trying to gather enough senses to make coherent sentences, "Why would you wanna stay here anyways? You hate me. You always have, that's the entire reason you're here."

"I don't hate you," He uttered hastily, not thinking his words through, "and I want to stay because I lo-"

He stopped abruptly as if catching himself from saying something unexpected and then spoke again, "I want to stay because I care for you."

She forced open her eyes, turning around to look at him. Her eyes bored daggers in his chest, drawing out the crimson red liquid she had seen so often, "YOU SHOULDN'T CARE FOR ME KARTIK. DON'T YOU GET IT?"

She walked closer and closer until only an inch or so was left between them, "Nobody should care ever because... I-" She paused, backing away and gulping harshly, "am a monster."

"You're not a monster Akira, you and I both know that. l Circumstances made you this way-"

The queen shook her head, tuning his voice out, "Leave Kartik. Either you leave this palace or I will kill-"

"Kill me then," His suggestion took her by surprise as he walked forward, took the dagger which was strapped on Akira's waist and handed it over to her as he looked her dead in the eyes. The cool steel rested against her palm as his eyes didn't waver a bit away from the queen, "Kill me. I am your culprit, after all, and I deserve nothing but death."

'He deserves nothing but a cruel end.' Her mind reminded her.  

"You know I deserve it." He whispered, closing her palm on the hilt of the dagger, "Do it."

Akira dropped her gaze and let go of the dagger which fell to the ground with a loud clatter. Her voice dropped octaves, surprising herself, and she answered in small puffs of air, struggling to answer, "I can't."

"Why not?"

Silence.

He repeated, "Akira, tell me, why not?"

More silence.

"Because I don't know what I feel. I don't know why but I just can't- I can't be weak anymore Kartik, it's too hard. I can't do it, I can't act indifferent anymore-"

The monarch changed the topic, slightly shaking her head as if dismissing her thoughts, "It doesn't matter, it never did. What does matter is your departure, so, leave. Just leave. You have time till today evening to leave this kingdom and never show up again and I will make sure that none of my men come after you. Go away from this bloodshed and war and I will make sure nothing harms you. You have the Maharani's word."

Like out of habit, they both fell silent once again. Knowing nothing to say or do, the silence took out the oxygen and replaced it with a toxin that made them sick to their stomachs and turned the beating heart into nothing more than a mere hollow vessel.

Breaking the unruly silence, he searched for some comfort in the queen's now lifeless eyes, "Do you trust me, Akira?"

An uneasy nausea settled over her stomach as she wondered to herself, 'Do you trust him?'

The silence that followed was like hellfire, lapping and lashing at their skins before she ultimately broke it, "No. No I don't."

"Goodbye Kartik" The Maharani took a step forward to him and stood on her tip-toes, placing a small kiss on his cheek before walking away from him. 

The uneasy sensation in her chest tightened in her chest and as she walked out of that God-forsaken room.

She realized, he was just like water. She didn't know whether she wanted to drown in him, be held in his calming embrace for one last time before it all ended for her or if she wanted to die from the scorching heat that the world had to offer without him around. 

'He might have left this palace'  The voice reminded her, 'but he was able to do the one thing he came here to do. He succeeded.' 

'He ruined you, Maharani Akira Singh. He succeeded.'

---

A/N - Too many feelz in just one chapter. I had too much fun writing it lmao. Also I expect someone to tell me I'm cruel ;)

Stay shrewd♥️
Author