Selena sat in the quiet Emergency Medicine Department, an unusual calm settling over the usually chaotic space. The computer screen in front of her displayed the Epic Login page, the gateway to the medical records system she had stared at countless times. Across the hall, in one of the rooms, a couple occupied the space—the wife sat on the bed, her hand tenderly wrapped in gauze, while the husband stood beside her, his hand gently caressing her hair.

A soft smile spread across Selena's lips, fleeting and bittersweet. She averted her gaze, exhaling quietly.

Her phone buzzed, breaking her reverie. She picked it up, her heart tightening with a fragile thread of hope. Maybe it was a message from Aariz. But the screen displayed something else: a notification from K Secret, her go-to Korean skincare app, advertising its Black Friday sale.

"I guess it cares more about me than he does," Selena murmured with a wry smile, dismissing the notification. Her fingers hovered over the screen before opening her chat with Aariz.

The last message she’d sent stared back at her, still marked unread: How are you doing?

Her chest tightened. She sighed deeply, her thumb hesitating before pressing the call button. As the line connected, her breath caught. Each ringing tone sent a wave of tension coursing through her.

“Please…” she whispered, her voice barely audible.

After a moment, the call connected.

“Hello.” A groggy voice, laced with exhaustion, came through. “Sister, I’m post-call,” Aariz muttered, clearly not registering who was on the other end.

“It’s me.” Selena’s voice broke through the silence, quiet but deliberate.

On the other end of the line, Aariz froze. His weary mind jolted awake as he processed the familiar voice. In the dim light of his lounge, Aariz rubbed his eyes, glancing at the half-eaten food on the table. He ran a hand through his disheveled curls, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes.

“Hmm,” he finally managed, nodding as if she could see him.

Selena exhaled softly, the tension in her shoulders easing slightly. But when Aariz didn’t say more, her frustration crept in. “I’m doing good too, if you ever cared,” she said, her tone sharp, though her heart ached with longing.

“Yeah,” Aariz replied, his voice subdued. “Glad…” He paused, the lump in his throat making it difficult to continue. “...to hear that.”

The silence that followed was deafening. Neither of them spoke, the weight of unspoken words suffocating them both. Aariz leaned back into the sofa, tears slipping silently down his cheeks as he scrolled to Selena’s last message in their chat.

How are you doing?

He wanted to tell her. He wanted to say he wasn’t fine, that he was drowning in exhaustion and self-loathing. But he couldn’t.

On Selena’s end, she listened to the faint static of the line. Then, a soft, rhythmic breathing filled her ears. Aariz had fallen asleep again.

Selena closed her eyes, her chest tightening as the sound of his breathing brought back memories of their late-night conversations, back when everything felt easier. She bit her lip, trying to suppress the tears threatening to spill.

With trembling fingers, she ended the call.

---

The bleakness of Selena’s night shift clung to her as she walked out of the hospital, her shoulders heavy with exhaustion. The call with Aariz had weighed on her all night, a dull ache that no amount of work could distract her from. The sterile, dimly lit corridors of the Emergency Department were now a distant memory, replaced by the golden brightness of a morning sun that seemed determined to defy the approaching chill of December.

Selena squinted at the sky, its clear blue stretching endlessly above her. It was the kind of morning that would usually lift her spirits, a reminder of new beginnings. But today, even the warmth of the sunlight felt hollow.

The world around her bustled with life—the hum of cars, the chatter of pedestrians—but Selena felt detached, as if she were moving through a dream. Her scrubs, slightly crumpled from the long night, clung to her tired body, and her hijab hung loosely around her neck, no longer pristine as it had been when her shift started.

She sighed deeply as she slid into the driver’s seat of her car, the cool leather pressing against her back. The faint scent of hand sanitizer lingered on her hands, mixing with the sharper aroma of her car's air freshener. She turned the key, and the engine purred to life.

Her mind wandered as she pulled onto the main road, her fingers gripping the wheel loosely. Flashes of Aariz’s groggy voice from the call played on a loop in her head.

"Glad to hear that."

Was it indifference? Exhaustion? Or something deeper? She couldn’t tell anymore, and the ambiguity gnawed at her.

The city blurred past her as she drove, her movements automatic. She barely noticed the vibrant billboards advertising Black Friday sales or the joggers making the most of the pleasant weather. Instead, her thoughts kept spiraling back to Aariz—his silence, his weariness, his absence.

She approached a red light, her foot pressing down on the brake. The soft hum of the car engine blended with the distant sounds of morning traffic. Her eyelids grew heavy, the weight of the sleepless night pulling her down.

Just a second, she thought, letting her head tilt slightly as her eyes closed.

A sharp, blaring honk cut through the air, startling her awake. Her heart pounded in her chest as she realized the light had turned green. The car behind her honked again, longer and more impatient this time.

“I’m going, I’m going,” she muttered under her breath, shaking her head and tapping the accelerator.

Her hands gripped the steering wheel tightly as she forced herself to focus, her breathing uneven. The thought of what could have happened—what she might have caused—made her shudder.

The rest of the drive passed in a fog, each turn and stoplight a battle to stay awake. By the time she pulled into the underground parking lot of her apartment building, the sun was higher in the sky, its golden rays now almost mocking her. She parked her car, her hands trembling slightly as she turned off the engine.

Leaning her forehead against the steering wheel, she let out a shaky breath.

“I can’t keep doing this,” she whispered, her voice breaking.

After a few moments, she dragged herself out of the car, her bag slung over her shoulder. Her feet felt like lead as she stepped into the elevator, pressing the button for her family’s floor. The quiet hum of the elevator was a stark contrast to the chaotic thoughts racing through her mind. She caught her reflection in the metallic doors—dark circles under her eyes, her face pale and drawn.

When the elevator doors slid open, the familiar warmth of home greeted her. She unlocked the door and stepped inside, the scent of her mother’s cooking faintly lingering in the air. The house was quiet—her parents were likely still asleep.

Selena dropped her bag by the door and kicked off her shoes, the tension in her shoulders easing slightly. She trudged to her room, her scrubs wrinkled and her hijab barely holding its place. Once inside, she collapsed onto her bed without bothering to change.

The silence of her room was both a comfort and a curse, amplifying the ache in her chest. The unanswered questions, the unresolved pain—all of it felt heavier in the stillness.

Selena’s eyes fluttered shut, exhaustion finally pulling her under.