Liar, Liar

1997

THE HOUSE WAS QUIET. Alex was careful to keep it that way. He pushed a small stepping stool to the kitchen counter. Even that barely made them tall enough. They moved the cereal box from their hands to the counter. With as much force as Alex could manage, he pushed himself onto the counter. It took him a moment to fully pull himself up. Crouched awkwardly, Alex fumbled to open the cabinet door above him. There's barely any space for him to fit the door open, but it worked. He fished a bowl from the cabinet.

Getting milk was harder. Alex got the door open, but the milk was on the top self. They supposed they supposed they could climb into the fridge. Unfortunately, it was far more flimsy than a counter. His parents would be mad if he broke anything.

Which was how Alex ended up settling on dry Cheerios.

After pouring three bowls, Alex started for his parents bed room. He opened the door slowly. It was empty. Confused, he opened the window to check the drive way.

There was no car in the drive way. Alex sighed. They had left without him even noticing. He wasn't sure what part of that disappointed him the most. That their parents hadn't stopped to let them know they were leaving, or that they hadn't noticed in the first place. It should have been obvious that they were home. Sure, they were quite, but even they made some noise. Alex was good at keeping track of them. So he should have noticed.

Alex left the other two bowls on the counter. Just in case. He took his own to the living room. He turned on the television, which was already placed on the news. After all, Alex was the only one who really watched it. Everyone else only turned it on for backgrounds noise and an image to stare blankly at as they drank and reconsidered their life. Careful not to spill his bowl, they pulled themself into the chair. It practically engulfed them. It felt like a hug.

At least, what they assumed one felt like. Alex supposed they'd figure that out eventually.

———

THEY HAD EXPLORED THE HOUSE FROM TOP TO BOTTOM. Two groups, an awkward plan to work out given the fact Sanis was involved. The day he worked well with anyone was the day pigs flew. In the end Alex kept him with Lonnie and themself. It might make their own work harder, but it meant Alex could keep an eye on him while the others wouldn't have to.

It also meant Alex wouldn't have to deal with Isaac. Sure, the box had been a good trick. A smart one given the fact he'd taken it upon himself to check to gift. Unfortunately, Isaac wasn't stupid by any measure, and by now he — like most people Alex spent time with — was learning how to tell when they were lying. Maybe he wouldn't say it. Not with out proof. But Isaac was definitely watching them. Trying to find out what they had done to deserve being involved in this.

Or maybe Alex was just being paranoid. They liked that answer better.

"What do you think they're trying for do with this?" Alex asked. They where stood in their father's study, where frost had continued to crawl across the walls until it filled the entire room. "I mean, if they want us to work with them, wouldn't they want to look nice? There's no reason to torment us when they could just offer success."

"Broken people are easier to control, I guess. That's how they got Dad, wasn't it?" Lonnie said.

Alex raised an eyebrow. They found that hard to believe. While Alex didn't think their father was perfect, but he was far from broken.

"Sanis?" Lonnie turned to the man, who hovered in the doorway. Alex was surprised. They hadn't even notice that Sanis hadn't followed them inside. "You okay?"

"Does it matter?" Sanis asked.

"Would I ask if it didn't?"

Sanis responded by shoving his hand in his coat pocket and stepping into the room. Trying to be supportive, Lonnie squeezed his arm, only for him to pull away. Alex raised an eyebrow. Clearly something was freaking him out, though they doubted Sanis would ever admit it. It was only then, after a moment of thought and noticing there blood staining the frosted floor, that Alex remembered he'd been attacked the last time he went digging through their father's office.

"If you need to leave —" Alex started.

"Don't talk down to me," Sanis interrupted. "I don't need your condescending bull shit."

Alex held up his hands in surrender. Condescending wasn't the tone they were going for, but once Sanis got something in his head there was no point in arguing. So fine. Them checking in his well-being was condescending. They'd just let him hurt himself next time.

There was a knock on the the door. Alex turned to find Soo-Jin in the door way, phone clutched in her hand. His phone, Alex realized, which was slightly concerning. Not that she could get into it. Those things were broken — they were already making plans on how to replace it once they got back to their normal lives. This wasn't the problem thought. The problem was that Soo-Jin had left Leanna on her own to wonder around the house by herself.

"Did you get a phone working?" Lonnie asked. Like she knew about this plan the entire time.

"What are you doing here? You're supposed to be watching Leanna," Alex said.

"I waited until the others came back," Soo-Jin said. Alex winced, both at her dry tone and the glare she was giving them. "I need to talk to you. Right for now."

"Sure — ah, are you guys good looking on your own?"

Alex gave Lonnie and Sanis a quick smile. Only Lonnie made an attempt to look reassuring. Alright. Fine. They took a deep breath and plastered confidence across his face. Whatever Soo-Jin had to say couldn't be that bad. Knowing their luck, someone had gotten hurt. Again. They'd fixed Sanis's arm, Soo-Jin's hand and...done something for Leanna's leg. You could wrap a cut and a burn, you can't unbreak a leg. Alex considered the fact she wasn't in constant, crippling pain a win on their part.

What hopeful thinking.

As soon as they stepped in another room, Soo-Jin whipped the phone. Which had text notifications plastered across the lock screen.

At which Alex's brain faltered for a whole five seconds. Shit. Shit. What sort of luck was it that she chose their phone? And the chances that on top of that she'd fix — on, dear god. It was Soo-Jin. Soo-Jin who built a computer for fun and made an entire virus to 'break out of the Matrix' before their father very politely explained the truth. They'd have to light the phone on fire for her to not fix it, and even then she could probably get the information other ways.

Or maybe Alex had just assumed she had standards.

"What the hell, Soo-Jin?" Alex grabbed the phone from her. "You can't just go through people's phones."

"I didn't go through your phone. I fixed it then checked it when it turned on to make sure we weren't getting screwed with," Soo-Jin defended. She paused, then threw up her hands in exasperation. "Why am I the one defending myself? You're having a fucking affair!"

"Stop yelling," Alex hissed.

"You told us you didn't have any secrets. You could have put us in danger," Soo-Jin said. "And more importantly, does Isaac know about this?"

"No, and you cannot tell him, please. Do you know how that would look? I could lose my job."

"That's what your worried about?"

Yes, it was what he was worried about. Alex gave an exasperated sigh and threw up his hands. This seemed obvious. Maybe whatever she did was different, but even the slightest scandals could ruin his life. God forbid he not want that. No. He should just actively destroy everything he worked for because it make them feel better.

Call it selfish. His life had worked just fine all the time. Why change it? Why ruin everything?

"Soo-Jin, I'm serious. My marriage is none of your business, so just let me work this out on my own, okay?" Alex insisted. They hoped their tone didn't sound as pleading as they felt. Soo-Jin just stared. "Soo-Jin? Soo-Jin, just listen to me, okay? I can't — you haven't told anyone. Please tell me you haven't told anyone."

"Leanna know. And you aren't going to convince her, either," Soo-Jin said. She took a shaking breath. "I just thought you might want a chance to tell the truth. 'Cause you deserve it."

That's rich, considering you haven't said a word on your own secret."

Soo-Jin's face tightened. Instantly, Alex realized their mistake. She shouldered past him before he could correct himself. Oh, god damn it. Alex ran a hand down his face and tried calm his breathing. Panic wouldn't help. Even though he was moments from doing so. They just needed...just needed to make a plan. Find the right answer, the right words to say to fix everything.

———

1999

ALEX COULDN'T SLEEP. He turned over in his bed and stared hard at the door. With it closed and the curtains drawn, it almost felt like he was the only one in the world. In their own little box, floating in nothingness. Alex tugged their blanket up to their chin. As if it could somehow protect them from their own thoughts. Shadows loomed over him. The loneliness was suddenly suffocating.

Eventually it became too much. Alex carefully slipped off his bed. It was possible that he was just being paranoid. That Lonnie and their father were still asleep in bed, and Alex was worrying over nothing.

Except...what if he wasn't? What if they'd disappeared in the night, deciding they didn't want him anymore? It was a worry that itched are the back of Alex's head, keeping them from falling asleep. If they just checked, they supposed, it would be comforting. They would have to worry anymore.

That was what Alex told themself as they crept down the hallway. They carefully pushed open their father's door. They were careful to crawl into the side of the bed without making noise, then shook his shoulder. It worked. Father blinked, turning to look at Alex. He seemed confused as to why Alex was there in the first place.

"Alexander? Did you have a bad dream?" Father asked.

"I through you left..." Alex murmured.

"No, no, why would I leave?" Father sat up so he could see Alex more clearly. "Did someone tell you that?"

Alex shrugged. He didn't know why. It just seemed right, at the time. People just left. Parents didn't really take care of their kids. Life was just like that. It hurt sometimes, Alex knew that and they wished someone would care about them, but it couldn't be expected.

———

RELATIONSHIPS WHERE FICKLE THINGS. People liked to believe all kinds of love where unconditional. That no matter what someone did, you would always care for them because they just meant that much. Except it was a lie. Like most things. Relationships are about taking and giving. If you no longer could give to someone, they would eventually leave you. Why would they try to keep you when you were just a drain on them? It was unthinkable. Against human nature completely. People where made to use and be used.

Alex understood it wasn't a popular mindset. Isaac often tried to convince them against it, that people wouldn't abandon them over one mistake.  That wasn't how relationships work. Not healthy ones, anyways. So had his father, now that Alex thought about it.

Conveniently, neither of them had ever had to test their theory. At least not when it came to Alex — Sanis and Azima had definitely pushed their father's limits in their own ways. Not that it mattered. Their father wasn't the one judging him at the moment. It was Isaac and their siblings, and it was a lot more than one mistake. More than one mistake by far.

Thankfully, Soo-Jin had been distracted with the collection of data. They were making a map of the house. It wasn't quiet 1:1 accurate, but it did list any oddities. The office, the staircase, Sanis's room and an eerie feeling in a few rooms that could be nothing but needed to be avoided just in case. More over, it didn't seem to be part of her plan to explore him in front of everyone. No. Soo-Jin wasn't the one the one he had to worry about.

That was Leanna. Who also knew and had yet to share her thoughts.

Alex had blocked most of the conversation. He knew it was strange, given he had taken a leading role, but it made it easier to hide anything suspicious. If he kept himself quiet and his speech short, Alex could plaster a smile his face and pretend he was confident of the future. It was something he had plenty of practice, after all.

In the end, only a few people remembered Alex was there. They took the loss and disappeared. If Soo-Jin or Leanna decided to announce something, they would be out of the firing line. Maybe he'd even get lucky and wait out the worst of thing. The longer they couldn't find them, Alex figured, the longer than had to make a plan. Sure it might scare people for a moment. Maybe that would help — they'd be so convinced he died they'd be too relieved he wasn't to be mad.

That was a little morbid. Alex disliked that emotionally manipulative thinking, even if it might benefit him. He considered it an unintended benefit.

Alex wasn't completely irrational. They didn't plan to leave themself open to attacks from the Maywood. He locked he bathroom door behind himself. A good way to keep out monsters, unless they'd suddenly gain the consciousness to unlock doors.

It was only halfway through washing his face that Alex considered the oddity of running water. He paused and turned the water off. Then on again. If the power was out — and it still was — and the building was freezing — which it was — the water shouldn't be running. Yet the worse it had done was being ice cold. Perhaps the Maywood didn't want their possible victims dying of dehydration before they could kill them off themself.

From the corner of their eyes, Alex caught a movement in the mirror. There was nothing. Just his face. He scoffed and shook his head. Maybe it was Azima's stupid little imaginary friend.

———

2007

"MR.WIGGLES LIVES IN THERE."

Azima pointed towards the small mirror on her counter. It was the most explanation she would give as to why she had covered every mirror in the house. Alex raised an eyebrow. They knew she was six, but it seemed rather childish to make such drastic change over an imaginary friend.

Of course, this was Azima. Nothing was imaginary for her.

It didn't help that their father never corrected her. From making extra dinner for her imaginary friends to pretending to clear her closet of monsters. Alex didn't know why he enabled Azima so much. They understood their father adored giving them what they wanted, but there was a difference between getting Leanna a space to practice at home and supporting Azima's delusions.  Especially when they disrupt everyone else's day.

"Well, I doubt Mr.Wiggles is going to care if it's covered or not," Alex said.

"No. Mr.Wiggles doesn't like liars. Mr.Wiggles says he eat's them,"Azima insisted.

"That's horrible," Alex said. He made sure his tone was as supportive as possible, because Azima sounded genuinely upset. Maybe he thought 'Mr.Wiggles' was fake, but he didn't want to upset Azima over it. "It was nice of you to cover the mirrors for us. But we'll just have to make sure not to lie, won't we?"

"You lie all the time," Azima pointed out.

Alex face an exasperated sigh. Was that what this was about? What had they said this time, causing Azima's insistence on a roundabout lesson? It was tempting to drop the sympathy. Still, Alex didn't want her crying to their father over something so small, so he kept up the smile.

"Well, I'm sure I can deal with Mr.Wiggles if he decides to come after me. Until then, dad's going to want you to uncover the mirrors. They don't work like that, you know?" Alex said.

Azima gave an incredulous look. Despite this, she pulled the towel off of the mirror. Alex check the reflection. Nothing but his face. Just like Alex expected.

———

THE DOOR WOULDN'T UNLOCK. Alex swore he had unlocked it. Yet as soon as he went to turn the door, it was locked once more. There was a shift behind him, as if someone had stepped forwards inches from his back. Alex tried again, again, and again, until Alex was beginning to realize their mistake. He tried to keep his breathing steady. Fear had never helped him. It inevitably led to losing control.

Alex turned slowly. He was fully prepared to come face to face with something horrendous. Instead there was just...nothing. Nothing but his reflection in the mirror.

That relief didn't last long. Because the imagine began to melt. The image ran and warped, as if water had been poured over the glass's surface. Alex's expression faltered. That...wasn't how mirrors work. Soon the glass seemed to spill out of its frame. It poured first into the sink and, when that would no longer hold it, spilled out into the floor.

All the while, Alex's reflection still stared back at him. A warped version, but still his reflection, which seemed to be pulled forwards with the flow of the water, even as Alex pressed himself again the door.

When the glass washed over their shoes, it felt more like ice water than glass, even as it shared its reflective property. Alex fumbled with the handle behind his back. The handle rattled yet refused to open. It wouldn't matter. If he wanted to open the door, he would have to move out of the way to give it space. Further into the water. Closer to the hands grasping the mirror frame from the inside.

"Alex?" A whisper came from the other side of the door. Azima.

"Azima?" Alex turned and tried to handle again. It was stupid. Insanity, even, given it once again failed. "Listen, Azima, I need you to open the door. Please. If — if you can find something to pick the lock —"

"I told you he doesn't like liars. I told you, I told you," Azima sang.

The glass water had reached Alex's ankles now. He turned to find the figure half out of mirror. It's form was nearly human. Limp clumps of hair plastered across the scalp and face. Or what could have been a face. There were no features, no eyes or ears or nose. Just a runny lump of pudding skin. Dripping limps that poured like water, yet had all the form and texture of flesh. Where it stepped, the glass water ran with a sheet glimmering ice.

"Okay, you were right! You where right! I'm sorry!" Alex choked on his own voice. He didn't even realize he was sobbing. "How was I supposed to know you weren't just making shit up? Kids do that! Kid's have imaginary friends, how was I supposed to know? How was I supposed to know?"

"Liar, liar, liar. Dirty little liar. You just have to tell the truth," Azima said, humming in tune as she did. Her voice fell threatening as she said, "But you won't. You never do. You won't take Eos from me."

"What? Azima, what the hell?" Alex demanded.

The only answer was a giggle and the scurrying of feet. Something fell onto Alex's shoulder. He whipped around to the see the figure leaning over him. Alex practically threw himself to the side, scrambling as far away as he could reach. Right into a corner. The figure only drifted after him at its leisure. Alex crumbled to the floor, throwing his arms over his head for some sort of protection.

You just have to tell the truth. You just have to tell the truth. It should have been easy. With your life on the line and no one to judge you, what other option was there? What was more important, ego or life? Yet everything stuck in Alex's throat. Because even alone, there was that fear. That stupid, irrational fear that the truth would leave him alone.

Even being fully aware of what the creature wanted, Alex found himself instinctively starting small. One time, I took two cookies instead of one. I jaywalked. I called a couch 'never used' while selling it but actually I'd sat on it once. I closed a door in someone's face because I didn't notice them there, then didn't apologize until they mentioned it a week later. I didn't realize my brother was married until he got a divorce because, honestly, who in their right mind would marry Sanis? And if he really wanted Alex to know, he could have at least picked up the damn phone and called him.

And still the water continued. It had risen to his chest and Alex could feel the cold seeping into his skin.

"I had an affair!" Alex finally managed. He clasped his hands over his ears and squeezed his eyes shut, as if that was going to somehow fix it. "I'm having an affair because I'm an idiot and didn't fix shit when when I had the chance but I'm trying so can you just leave me alone!"

The cold receded. Alex took a deep breath and risked opening his eyes. The water was gone. The figure was gone. And Isaac was standing in the door way.

"Just wanted to...make sure you were okay," Isaac cleared his throat. He seemed unsure what to do with his face. "But, um, good...good to know. I'll give you some space."

With that, he disappeared into the hallway. Alex swore and buried his face in his hands. Sometimes they really hated being proven right.

———

January 2nd, 2021

THE WORLD SEEMED TO SLOW AS NIGHT FELL. Unaware of what would come, everyone slept without worry. Everyone except Alexander Crawford, who sat at end of his bed, box in hand.

Meant would have called curiosity one of Alex's greatest flaws. That he put his nose into everything, refused to stop asking questions until it ruined his life. Truthfully? They didn't agree in the slightest. Alex found it his greatest strength. He learned and grew, where others stagnated. There were hundreds of things he knew that others didn't. When things went wrong, he was a step ahead of everyone else, who was still reeling days later.

If it weren't for the context, Alex would have found the box vindicating. Because inside was a note. Just...a note. Even the note itself admitted it was more blunt than the others, as they didn't trust Alex to not twist his gift into a false meaning if it was anything less than obvious. So there was a note. Scolding him for being unfaithful, for letting is insecurities win, in their father's typical 'I'm not mad, I'm disappointed' tone.

As if Albert had any room to judge. The man loved two things — his children and his writing — and neither earned him the right to be giving marriage advice.

Of course, the note was stuffed into Alex's bag to be disposed of when walking around wouldn't seem suspicious. He was careful to put the box together as it was before. There was no point in telling Isaac. The whole thing had been basically over for almost three months. Barely more than texting and phone calls...and the occasional meetings. In public. As friends. Nothing sexual, which by definition did not make it cheating. Alex was just...trying to find a way to break it off.

After all, 'sorry, I already have a husband' was not the best way to break up with someone.

It was meant to be a one time thing. Alex had panicked, because it had been only a month and they already had a fight. He expected Isaac to leave. Except then he didn't, and now there was the added stress of an affair, another reason to hurt the relationship. It was a never ending cycle.

Alex glanced over his shoulder at Isaac. Which is to say the top of his head, as he'd practically buried himself in the covers. Alex couldn't help but laugh. At least he remembered not to sleep on his back this time — Alex already doubted he could sleep well tonight, with everything happening, he didn't need Isaac snoring on top of that.

"Can't sleep?" Isaac asked as Alex climbed into bed.

There was a moment of panic that he hadn't really been asleep, before Alex remembered the rather loud creak the bed gave whenever you so much as look at it. Light sleepers and loud beds did not make an easy sleep.

"You could say that," Alex said. He paused, before adding. "Are you just planning to let me freeze, then?"

Isaac gave the shit eating grin, pulled the covers closer to himself, and rolled over. Alex snorted. That seemed like a pretty clear answer.

Alex is really over here pulling out the dictionary definition of cheating to pretend they aren't. Buddy, no.

They're just a hard character to write, I swear. Because I like showing a sympathetic side of characters when I write their POV, writing so you can understand their thinking even if you disagree.

Meanwhile, really the only thing Alex's POV does it make him look really manipulative. The neglect he suffered as a kid makes me really sympathetic, but his response —  to "gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss" everyone you meet for even the slightest, most hollow from of love — is so out there it's sometimes hard to rationalize. At least for me.