The Beginning is the End

1992

"HELLO, LITTLE ONE."

Lonnie blinked her eyes open. There was a man looking down at her. That was new. She had never seen him before. Curious, Lonnie reached for his face. The most she could manage is to pat his noise. It earned her a laugh. What he was laughing about, Lonnie didn't know, but it made her giggle as well.

"My name's Albert. I'm going to be your father," The man said. "Isn't that exciting?"

Being only a year old, Lonnie didn't know what half the words meant. But she did know she liked his smile. He seemed nice.

"I think it's exciting," the man paused. "You don't understand a thing I'm saying, do you? I'm just talking to myself. I'm nervous, I suppose. I've never had a family before, you know that? But I promise I can do a good job. I will do a good job. I will."

The man laughed again, though Lonnie could see tears had started in his eyes. She didn't understand how someone could be happy and sad. Unsure of what this meant, Lonnie chose to pat his nose again. It seemed to work just as well as the last time.

———

THE ROOM WAS TENSE AFTER ISAAC LEFT. Soo-Jin shifted in her seat and glanced at Leanna. Again. Lonnie didn't know why, but she'd done so throughout the entire conversation, and it was obvious they knew something the rest of them didn't. It was tempting to ask what was wrong. Yet Lonnie suspected that neither of them where going to say anything. Soo-Jin was quiet of course, but she couldn't imagine Leanna keeping quiet on something unless she had a reason to do so.

Somehow, the tension went up after Isaac returned. Perhaps it's because he was a fidgeting mess when he arrived. He sat down hard and proceeded to give the floor a thousand yards stare.

"Are you...okay?" Lonnie asked reluctantly.

"I'm good. Are you good? That's good. Good," Isaac said. Alex arrived seconds later, and he promptly shot to his feet. "I think I'll get something to eat — who wants something to eat?"

"So you finally told him?" Soo-Jin raised an eyebrow.

"Told him what?" Lonnie looked between them.

"You know what, it's none of your business —" Alex started.

"Oh, we're doing this now? Thank God, I'm starting to feel like an ass," Leanna interrupted. "Alex is having an affair."

"Leanna!"

"Wait, what?" Mari blurted out.

"Yep, yeah, just tell everyone," Isaac muttered.

"Isaac, can we please talk about this somewhere else?" Alex insisted.

"I'd prefer not to talk about it at all, so how about you go to hell and let me enjoy my denial in peace!"

Lonnie just sort of...stared. This was a very strange turn of events. It had been awhile since Mari had shared vir secret. In fact, now that Lonnie thought about it, vi had been the only one to share a secret in the first place. A part of her had forgot that was part of this in the first place. So to suddenly be smacked with Alex is having an affair was more than a little startling.

"Alex, what the hell? You said you didn't have anything!" Mari said.

"And I don't. Okay? I don't, if someone would just let me explain," Alex shot Isaac an annoyed look.

"Are you seriously — are you really still trying to lie about this?" Isaac buried his face in his hands. "I can't believe you."

"Alex —" Lonnie started.

"You know what? Everyone get the hell out of my business!" Alex shouted. He ran his fingers through his hair. "None of you assholes have said a word about your own secrets, so don't you dare judgement. Christ, Sanis probably killed someone —"

"Don't bring him into this!" Leanna snapped.

They all startled. Lonnie turned to Sanis, expecting him to give some response, especially when Leanna was already so. Instead he stayed silent, refusing to meet Lonnie's gaze. A sudden wave of concern fell over her. No one else seemed to notice his expression, but Lonnie did, and it seemed suspiciously unconfrontational.

"Why not? I might hurt his feelings?" Alex scoffed. "I hate to break it to you but it's Sanis. He doesn't have feelings, he's just...a giant human shaped ball of homicidal intent. I am astonished he's gone twenty seven years without ending up with his ass in the electric chair."

"Oh, fuck you!" Leanna pushed herself into a sitting position, and Lonnie suspected she might slap Alex if they were close enough.

"No, fuck you. I don't see Sanis pitching a fit, because he knows it's the truth. Don't you?" Alex stood inches from Sanis's face. Lonnie tensed, but nothing happened. They scoffed and turned to Leanna. "See? So maybe you should stop being such an attention whore —" 

Alex's words were cut short by Sanis slamming their head into the wall. They collapsed and scrambled to the side, clutching the side of his head. A wave of panic rolled through the room. Lonnie caught Sanis before he could do anything worse. He was shaking. For a moment Lonnie thought in was rage...and then she looked at his face. She didn't know if she'd ever seen such a look of pure horror in her life. Not from Sanis at least. Lonnie turned in time to see Alex remove their hand from the side of their head. It was caked in blood.

"Alex, are you —" Lonnie went to bent down in front of them. In response, Alex shoved her away and stormed off.

"I didn't — I didn't — I didn't mean to," Sanis's eyes bugged as he stared between them. "Oh, God, I didn't mean to. I didn't mean to. I didn't mean to."

"Sanis, it's okay. We know. We know, you're okay. You're okay." Lonnie was careful to steer Sanis into an open seat as she spoke.

The room was dead silent. No one seemed to know what to say. What to do. Lonnie could feel herself drawn in thousands of directions. The simple argument had torn them apart in seconds. Isaac looked half hysterical and, with how many times his life had been turned upset down in the last day, Lonnie didn't blame him. Mari had wrapped her arms tightly around herself, as if trying to hold herself. Sanis...Sanis had been falling apart for years. Lonnie didn't know if he had ever be well. Leanna was crying now and Soo-Jin was trying her best to comfort her to no avail.

Lonnie wanted to help all of them. Yet what could she say? Nothing seemed to make it okay. Maybe if she had been there for them, realized their struggles sooner...Lonnie shook her head. Of course things would have been better if she had stayed with her family. She always knew that. But that didn't change the fact she knew she had done the right thing.

Hadn't she?

———

2005

LONNIE DIDN'T PLAN TO FIND INTEREST IN PENNIES. They were pennies. The black sheep, unloved child of coins. Mostly useless unless, by chance, you needed less than five cents to finish off a purchase.

Except there was something interesting about this one. The print date — 1991.

"Well, look at that," Father had said when Lonnie showed it to him. "That's the year you where born, you know?"

It was. Perhaps that was why Lonnie got the sudden idea, that pennies might have more of a meaning that weighing down your wallet. Or at least it could be given one. Which was why Lonnie dumped her entire piggy bank on her bed. She dug through it until she could find all of the pennies. Each time she checked the dates, doing the math in her head.

In the end, Lonnie was able to find one for each of the siblings. Maybe it wouldn't mean anything to them. It was such a small thing, after all. Yet it meant the world to her.

———

LONNIE WAS UNOFFICIALLY VOLUNTEERED TO CHECK ON ALEX. No one else seemed interesting in doing so. A part of Lonnie got it. It was hard to sympathize with his situation. He cheated. Isaac had the right to be pissed about that, and obviously Mari was pained to see someone she looked up to doing the exact thing that had hurt her. As for the rest of them? Alex had tricked them, lying about his secret while lecturing them on how they needed to be honest.

The obvious place to check was Alex's room. Lonnie had stopped to wrapped an ice pack in a towel, then started there. She hesitated at the stairs. There was a sudden, painful reminder of Leanna's attack. Instinctively, Lonnie reached for her stomach. She wouldn't say she memorized every do and don't of pregnancy, but falling down a flight of stairs seemed like a massive don't. The only comfort was that when she returned down the stairs, Alex would be with her.

Or so she hoped.

As always, Lonnie stopped to knock on the bed room door. There was no point though. The door was already fully open. Alex sat in the bed, head cradled in his hand. He raised it reluctantly to look at her.

"I don't need your lectures, Lorna," Alex snapped.

It took a second for Lonnie to realize they were talking to her. She'd been going by Leonie so for so long it she forgot it was someone else's name. How they had gone so long without the mix up was astonishing. Had her siblings really been so use to Lonnie that her full name have never come up?

Lonnie was quick to shake herself out of her haze. There were a thousand ways her mind could go with that line of through, and that wasn't what she was here for.

"I'm here to check on you, actually," Lonnie corrected. She passed the ice pack to Alex. "I know what you're doing."

"And what exactly am I doing?" Alex said, his tone mocking.

"The same thing you did in high school when you assume the guy you were dating was breaking up with you because they didn't respond to a text. While at their grandmother's funeral." Lonnie shook her head as Alex groaned. It certainly wasn't their best moment. "Demolishing relationships because you're certain you'll lose them anyways. The only thing you're doing is digger yourself into a deeper hole, Al."

"I'm not trying to ruin anything, I'm trying to fix it. I just need time and — and people to listen to me, but no one will fucking listen to me."

"They're not listening because you're not saying anything. It's just lies and shifting attention," Lonnie pointed out. It hurt to say, but she was desperate for Alex to understand, even if it seemed harsh. "You literally accused Sanis of murder, and he had nothing to do with anything we were talking about, that isn't how you win sympathy."

"Was I wrong? You saw his face, you know I'm right," Alex insisted.

"That's not the point!"

"Jesus, I thought you were on my side!"

Lonnie shook her head. Why was this so hard for Alex to understand? No matter how hard she tired, it was like nothing was getting through.

"This isn't about sides, Alex! I'm trying to help you," Lonnie insisted.

"Well, I'm not feeling very helped."

"Because you're not —" Lonnie sighed. What was the point? "You know, for how often you mock Sanis, you're just like him."

"Oh, come on," Alex scoffed.

"I'm serious. I see it in you, just like Sanis, and Leanna, and even Dad. The excuse is different — You think people will leave you, Leanna wants to be perfect, Sanis thinks emotions make him weak — but it's all the same. You don't let people help you. You just hold everything inside and let it eat you up inside," Lonnie said.

Alex feel silent. He removed the ice pack from his head, staring at it in his hand. It seemed like they were finally listening.

"I remember when I was six, about a year before you were adopted. Dad just...shut down. Even now I don't know what happened, but he wouldn't eat, or talk, or move or — or anything. Finally he explained to me: he said sometimes people were sad. So, so sad it made them sick, and it wasn't my fault, and he would never let me see him like that again. And when I was six that was enough, I though that was the end of it. But then I grew up."

"Then I grew up and I realized it didn't go away. Dad was right, he didn't let me see it. He just hid in his office instead," Lonnie finished. "And you just have to look at Sanis and Azima to see how that turned out. They needed help, they always needed help, but Dad was so scared of making them feel as broken as he did that he wouldn't get it for them."

"Dad tell you that?" Alex said, his voice dry.

"No. But I have a son, I have another kid on the way, and I'd do the same for them," Lonnie admitted. She reached over and squeezed his hand. "You fucked up and you can't fix it. That's it. The only thing you can do is make up for it. Until then, you're still our sibling, and we still need you. Even if you aren't perfect."

"I think what I did was a lot less than perfect," Alex ran a hand over his face. "Isaac didn't deserve this. Any of this. All he wanted to do was help and I pulled him into our bullshit."

"He really didn't," Lonnie agreed. What would lying to them do? They knew the truth. "Come on. Azima made tea, and we need to make a plan on how to get out of here."

They made their way down to the stairs completely safe. Azima had already started passing out her tea, none of which she took her self. Lonnie hesitated, unsure why Azima was watching them all so closely. She gave in eventually. It was just tea, after all. Particularly sweet tea, but tea.

———

December 28th, 2020

BY NOW LONNIE WAS USE TO DOUBLE CHECKING HER LIFE. That was what happened when your life became entangled with some else's, to the point you would never be able to separate.

Leonie Gordan entered Lonnie's life at Yale University. They had become fast friends, in part because they were so similar. The two looked almost exactly the same and shared a love of historical artifacts. Given the fact that Lonnie had always been the "weird kid who obsesses over coins" it was fascinating to find someone who shared such a seemingly strange interest. At least Lonnie could spend hours rambling about This Random Pot without getting odd looks. It was a relief.

Perhaps that was where the problem began. Lonnie spoke so often, yet soon realized Leonie rarely said much about herself. What did she know about the woman, really?

It took some time to coax it out of her, but Leonie finally gave the truth. She owned money to dangerous for people. A lot of money. It was unlikely she would even last her collage career before they came to collect on prices she couldn't pay.

Looking back their plan was stupid. Lonnie was putting herself in an insane amount of danger. Yet the idea to switch lives was completely Lonnie's idea, even despite Leonie's protests. She wanted to help, of course she did! What sort of person would she be if she left Leonie to be hunted down?

So the plan went into work. They went their separate ways with switched names. To keep up the lie, they both had to cut ties with their families completely. No contact with anyone who could call them out. It hurt, but the thought that it would endanger anyone who knew made it much easier. They promise to never become well known. Not outside their small towns, at least, lest their footprints over lap. They moved constantly in the beginning to get lines crossed. Then, when they settled down, they both behaved as if they were being followed — careful, but not suspicious.

And for years no one but Lonnie and Leonie knew. Brodie didn't know — a fact that caused Lonnie a great deal of guilt — and little Rory definitely didn't. He didn't need to know the danger his mother was in.

The closest anyone came to knowing was when someone came looking for the money. It was a hit of reality that almost sent Lonnie's life crumbling. Even as Lonnie convinced them it was a mistake and she and her family was left alive, it was a sign of the coming end.

Which was why Lonnie was calling Leonie this morning. Her father had died and this was their chance. He was rich and found of giving them money, maybe it would be enough. Leonie could pay off her debt. They could both finally, finally return to their family. It seem cruel to use her father in that way, but Lonnie couldn't bring herself to feel guilty when it meant she would regain the siblings she lost eight years ago.

"Are you sure? I mean, they're your family, and you'll have to lie to them," Leonie pointed out when Lonnie told her her plan. "You hate lying to them, we both know that, and I can ask you do that."

"Listen, I hate this, too. This is my father we're talking about! But..." Lonnie took a shaking breath. "I haven't seen my family for years. Rory's never met his family, I have an entire sister I barely know. I miss them, and I'm sure you want yours' back, too. This is our chance, shouldn't we take it?"

"Of course. Just...stay safe. Okay?"

Lonnie nodded, even though Leonie couldn't see her. Stay safe was a nice line, and Lonnie certainly planned to, but even that turned out to be too much to ask.

———

THE PLAN STARTED WITH AN AX AND SANIS'S LIGHTER. It ended in Azima's guest house.

Alex found Valamir the office, sat in the their father's seat, flipping through a note pad. The temperature drop made it hard to breath, even outside the doorway. It didn't get much better inside. Valamir glanced up at Alex, then went back to his notes. He wasn't of that would to their benefit or not.

"We need to talk," Alex announced.

"We do?" Valamir didn't look up from his notes.

"That's fair. I need to talk," Alex admitted. "How does this Maywood thing work? I mean, if you're considering us for a job, I'd like to know what I'm signing up for."

"I've spoken to your sister about this. You haven't signed up for anything," Valamir stood and stepped around desk to stand in front of Alex. They stepped back. "This is a mutual agreement. We inspire your work, we gain the energy you put into it. For obvious reasons that requires much consideration on our part."

"Doesn't seem very mutual to me. Sounds like you're just using us."

"That's a way to put it."

"A way to put it, or the truth?"

"Does it matter?"

"Of course. It effects my life, doesn't it?"

They stood in the hallway now. It had been as simple as coaxing Valamir forwards as he backed out of the room. He didn't even seem to notice. At least not before his head was hacked off.

Alex shouted and stumbled backwards. He stared between Sanis, the ax in his hand, and the body at his feet. They both stepped back to avoid the black blood that spread along the carpet. Even expecting it, there was no way to not be surprised by someone getting decapitated in front of you. Especially when Sanis proceeded to smash the head as well, which certainly wasn't part of the plan.

"What the hell, Sanis?" Alex finally managed.

"You said incapacitate him," Sanis defended.

"I meant knock him out, not cut off his head and smash it!"

Except even as he said it, Alex realized it was the over kill it seemed. Already the body had sat up and begun groping around for its head. It was so ridiculous that Alex could almost laugh. Almost.

Sanis punted whatever was left of the head to the end of the hallway before they fled down the stairs.

The others where waiting just outside the back door. It had been impossible to find something flammable. The house was wood and old, but a lighter wouldn't be enough burn it down fast enough. They needed it destroyed before Valamir could collect himself and escape. The solution? Fill light a candle, turn on the stove, and get out before the gas caused an explosion. Dangerous by all accounts, but that was the length of their desperation.

Lonnie kept Azima in a loose grip. The woman didn't realize what was happening yet, but given her attachment to 'Eos,' Lonnie didn't trust her not to put her self in danger to save it.

Sanis and Alex arrived soon after.

"We need to get some distance," Isaac announced. "If we get a fire ball, we don't want anywhere close to this."

"What are you talking about?" Azima asked. Her tone was one of soft warning.

The group shared a look. At the same moment, Azima realized what they were doing. She twisted out of Lonnie's grip before she could make the same connection. It was only by luck that Sanis was between her and the building. He caught her as she tried to run inside.

Almost instantly, the screaming began. Sanis had plenty on Azima, when it came to size and weight, but it didn't keep her from fighting. Azima thrashed and screamed and threw her weight around like it would do anything. Finally, as they passed the edge of the property, Azima lost it. She bit into his neck and Sanis was forced to dump her before she tore out his throat.

"You where supposed to die! You were supposed to die!" Azima screamed. Her voice broke with sobs, as she pulled her knees to her chest and glared at them. "Why won't you die? Why won't you die? Why won't you die?"

"Azima, what are you talking about?" Soo-Jin demanded.

"I poisoned you. I poisoned you, I saw you drink the tea, I saw you, I saw you, I saw you!" Azima buried her face in her knees. "I won't let you take Eos from me. I won't let you! I won't!"

"Jesus, Azima, what? You put sugar in some tea, that's not poison," Soo-Jin took a shaky breathe. "You tried to kill us?"

The answer was cut short by an explosion. Lonnie cried out, ducking to avoid most of the force. It still nearly swept her off her feet. She caught herself on her arm, thank god, and missed most of the overwhelming heat. It was most of what she remembered, in fact. A scorching, horrible heat. Like the sun had fallen to earth. Lonnie has screamed, and screamed, and screamed. She didn't even know why she was screaming anymore.

Then it stopped. Lonnie opened her eyes to find herself huddled on her side. The pain was a ghost, half there. She forced herself through most of it and hurried to her feet. Everyone else seemed in the same state. Of course Sanis was bleeding from his neck, Soo-Jin had torn the fresh flesh of her palm in the fall, and Leanna was biting by screamed from re-injuring her leg, but the where all okay.

And Azima was missing.

Lonnie turned. In the distance, in the warped fog the had surrounded their house, she could make out a figure. Azima making her way out into the darkness. Out into the unknown, too far for Lonnie to stop her.

And as she disappeared, it seemed, the Maywood did as well. The house was back. It stood as if there had never been an explosion at all. All the cold had disappeared. The frozen had that had clutched all of them was gone. Lonnie let out a sigh of relieve. She stepped forwards. Forwards through the house, through the living room, past the stairs, and right now the front door.

There was barely a sheet of snow. It barely hid the grass below it. And there, all the way across the yard, was their cars. Just where they had left them. Like it had never happened at all.

Except it did. Lonnie turned to see the others exit behind her. Sanis was still covered in blood and Leanna still leaned hard on Soo-Jin's shoulder to avoid hurting her leg further. Isaac kept his distance from Alex, even then, and they didn't protest even though Lonnie knew they wanted to.

The Maywood was still out there. But they hadn't given it their lives. They never would.

Second to last chapter! Basically the end, the rest is just wrapping everything up.

This was such a great chapter to write. I feel like Lonnie has such a better view of the family than the rest — really seeing the flaws. Where their father, for all he tried to do for them, failed.

Also, for anyone confused, the "poison" was sugar water. It was Azima's test, I guess, in a way, to see what she would choose — Eos or her family. In the end she chose Eos. And really, as sad as it sounds, I don't blame her.

Honestly, I love this story, and I love everyone who gave me their characters to write it. It was so fascinating to really explore these people. They feel like they're my own characters, they feel so real. Thank you for reading this far. I hope the next chapter, the real end, will mean as much to you as it does to me.