Killian and I looked into each other eyes and awkwardness filled the air. We stayed like that for a few moments before I groaned, looking away, “It’s to awkward just staring at each other, Killian.”

“That’s because you won’t stay still. You need to relax and then just focus on your scenery. You’re anxious about tomorrow, so you need to calm yourself down.” he said.

I sat down cross legged and looked at him, “I could never stay still, even as a child. I was a very hyper child and just staring at each other to ‘relax’ isn’t helping. I need something else to help with me being anxious.”

He grinned, leaning over. He wrapped his hand behind my neck as he kissed me, pulling me back until my back hit the ground. I smiled as we kissed, wrapping my hands around his neck. He lowered his mouth towards my neck and I could feel my face heating up as I looked up at the gray dull autumn skies. I could feel Killian hand go up to my jacket, tugging it lower off my arms and his mouth moved down towards my shoulders since I swore a tank top under the jacket.

He brought his mouth up to mine and I brought my hand up to his strong jawline, pressing my mouth closer to his. I could feel the stumbles on his cheeks. Most of wolves—pack members or rogue—had stumbles, faded beards, or full on beards. I always thought men with facial hair were always much more attractive. I could feel Killian hot breath on mine and I pressed my body closer to his.

He suddenly lifted himself up and I opened my eyes, embarrassed but he wasn’t looking down at me. He was looking forwards towards the woods as if he was looking for something with golden eyes and bared teeth. I propped myself up on my elbows and turned my head to see what he was looking but I didn’t see anyone.

“Killian?” I questioned as I looked at him.

He looked at me, “Nate was spying on us.”

“Nate?” I asked. He nodded, lifting himself off me as his eyes stayed gold. He held his hand down for me and when my hand came into his, he quickly and swiftly lifted me up. I stared back out in the empty woods, “Kid is really weird. Stalker. How long was he there?”

“Not long, just a few seconds.” he said. He blinked a few times, his gold eyes turning back to their beautiful blue color. He looked at me, brushing off some dead leaves.

I brought my jacket back up over my shoulders and pushed him, “Tag! You’re it!” I yelled before turning and ran away but I only got a few feet away before he tackled me to the ground. I breathed heavily out my nose, turning my head to glare at him, “Isn’t fare, you know.”

“Try when you become an adult.” he said as we sat up and I turned around. He reached out, taking a curl in his hand, “Most beautiful she-wolf is about show her true self tomorrow.”

I grinned at him, playfully shoving him by his shoulders, “How sweet.”

*

I was coming back home real late so I tried my best to sneak in quietly without waking up anyone. Devin was up though, waiting on the recliner. I arched my eyebrow as he stood up and walked over towards me, “Don’t you have to be up in three hours—ow! Devin!”

He grabbed me from behind the neck and brought me over towards the couch. He made me sit down and I glared up at him when he took his hand away. I opened my mouth, about to curse him out but he spoke as he lowered to my level, “Where were you, young lady?”

I stared at him amazed before scoffing, “What? Who do you think you are!” I cried angrily. “Last I checked, I’m not living back at Wings Hope anymore so I don’t need rules. Especially rules from you—ow! Ow! Ow!” I whined when he grabbed my ear and pulled it a little. “Alright! Alright!” I hissed as I swatted his hands away.

“You know how worried I was? I thought you ran away again.” he said as he stood up.

“I was with Killian!” I said as I stood up. “You really think I would just leave? I just joined the pack. I didn’t let myself get banded for nothing, Devin.”

He sat down next to me, “I’m really worried because the shift could happen any time today.”

I arched my eyebrow, “But Killian happened at night—“

“Yes, because he was born around the time he shifted. You were born on the road—literally on a road in the back of our parents’ old van—and I can’t remember if it was morning or night or the exact time. Most of us are born at night, but some are always in the morning.” he said. “We have to keep an eye on you for now on.”

“Well how do they usually begin?” I asked, arching my eyebrow.

“Well the girls say like very bad cramps. Like childbirth.” he said.

My eyes widen, “I don’t wanna be a wolf.”

He chuckled, patting my head, “You’ll be fine. If thousands of girls can do it, you can to.”

*

I felt as if someone was standing over me so I opened my eyes. I jerked roughly as I looked up at Alpha Lincoln, Devin, Killian, and Zoe. I hadn’t expected them and I had just woken up. From how much light there was, it must have been early and I was still very exhausted.

“Ready, Matilda?” Alpha Lincoln asked, smirking. “Today is a very important day.”

I groaned, closing my eyes as I brought my hand up to my hair, “I don’t feel anything. Let me sleep for a few more—hey!”

I was grabbed and pulled out of bed by Killian and Devin. I groaned since I was very tired but I had to leave for woods again since today is the day. We went outside and I got into a black hair. Killian gave me a cup of hot coffee with no sugar or creamer. It was bitter, but it woke me up. Alpha Lincoln grabbed me by my face and I glared at him as he looked like he was examining me.

“Pupils are fine, aren’t bloodshot either yet.” He put his finger under my mouth, lifting my lips, “Teeth look normal. She fines—for right now.”

I pulled away, “Oh, I’m so relieved.” I sarcastically said. As the front driver drove out towards the woods, the reality of what was going to happen hit me hard in the face. My stomach turned, but I knew not because signs of shifting but I was scared. How am I gonna do this? I had only ever seen Killian and he looked like he was dying. I didn’t want to go through that because I was terrified for Killian. I wish I could just go back home and hide under my blankets, hoping today never happens and I can just fast forward to tomorrow.

*

Killian

I walked over towards map who was sitting near the fire. It was still early, only three in the afternoon but it was cold and the younger wolves needed to stay warm to. I came up behind her and rubbed her arms. Being a grown wolf, I had a black t-shirt with a jean vest. I was in completely warmth but as I touched her hands they were colds so I warmed them in mine.

“Nothing happening yet.” she said, sounding almost frustrated.

“I know its nerve wracking, but it will.” I told her. “It’s still very early. I’m not gonna tell you to be patient because you don’t know how to do that but it’ll come.”

She turned around, “I’m more than nervous, Killian. I didn’t grow up with this. I never had years of people telling me I could do this. I only had a month and I still don’t think I can.”

I reached up and pulled a strain of hair out of her face, “You’re going to be great, Mat.”

“You just feel like you have to say that.” she said.

I shook my head, “No, I know you can.”

Her look turned cold and she pulled away, “You don’t understand, Killian. It may be easy for you all, but not for me. I’m nervous, scared, and horrified. Worse part is I can’t even control it how much I want to.”

I narrowed my eyes on her, “I know you’re scared Mat but you don’t need to take your anger out on me.”

She breathed heavily out her nose, “I thought you were supposed to be supportive.”

I scoffed, “I am but you’re being a brat. You think you’re the only one who was scared? I was terrified my first shift but I knew it was gonna happen wither I wanted it to or not. You may have not grown up like us, we all had the same feelings.”

“None of you are like me.” she said. She turned around as she crossed her arms, “I was abandoned and kept away of who I was.”

“And tonight you’ll find yourself. Better than you think you could.” I said. “Being angry at me isn’t going to help though.”

She stayed quiet for a moment before lowering her head. She turned around and pressed her forehead against my chest. She banged her head against my chest and sighed heavily, “I just wish two certain people were here.”

I put my hands on her shoulder and pulled her back, “Shh, Mat.” I said. She snorted, rolling her eyes as she looked away. I looked around to see if anyone was looking at us but no one was so I looked back at her, “You shouldn’t talk about—that.”

She grabbed my hand and dragged me away into the woods. She told me to tell her when we would be alright and we had almost walked half a mile out until I couldn’t smell anyone out. She turned towards me, putting her hands on my shoulders as she gave me a begging look, “I need to see them again, Killian.”

“What?” I questioned, giving her ‘are you crazy?’ look. “No, out of the question.”

“Please!” she said, her doe eyes widen, those hazel eyes looking up at mine. “There’s so much I still need to ask and know.”

“Like?” I asked her. “What do you need to know so badly that I could answer for you?”

“Family history.” I said. “I’m a Vaughn, but I’m also a Redblood. I know nothing about that side. I hardly hear anything about them since the Alpha there isn’t from that family anymore.”

“Really? Because I think you just want to see them.” I said.

Her eyes turned cold, “So what if I do? They’re my parents and—“

“At first you were ready to curse them out and now you want to build a relationship with them?” I asked. “Mat, you’re a pack member now. You can’t see them. No. Any contact with them can get you kicked out. They wanted you to have a better life with the pack. Don’t ruin it.”

She breathed heavily out her nose, “No?” she asked as if the word was an insult.

I lowered down towards her, “No.”

She bared her teeth and just like that her eyes turned bright golden yellow color. Her eyes than wide as she took in a sharp breath and she grabbed the right side of her waist, breathing out in pain. She leaned against me, breathing heavily.

“Kill—Killian!” she breathed out heavily. She squeezed her eyes, taking a deep breathe. I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her thick hair away from her face. “Jesus Christ, I didn’t know it would be this painful.”

I held her in my arms, “It’s okay, you’re fine.” I said as I helped her moved back where the pack was. It was beginning.

Mat

I felt like I was outside on a hot summer day wrapped in many layers of clothes. I pulled my t-shirt off in my sports bra as I tried to cool myself down but nothing but helping. I could end up naked soon and still feel like I’m being smothered. I was hot, very hot. No matter how much I drink, I still didn’t feel hydrated. I felt—I felt as if my body was covered with hair.

The pack around watched me like they had did for Killian. Around me in a circle, trying to show their support. I looked up, seeing Will and Melinda together as they watched. I turned to my life to see Marco and Blue watching. Devin and Zoe on my other side watching. Killian standing a few feet away.

I could hear my heart racing in my ears and I was prepared to hear my own bones slowly cracking. I cried in pain, trying to breathe through it but nothing helped until it finally stopped. I looked up at the sky, my chest rising and falling. It was becoming dark now and I wasn’t sure how much longer I could take this. It’s been an hour already!

Killian walked towards me and I pressed my sweating face against his stomach. I tried to find comfort, but I couldn’t. He put his hands on my shoulders, rubbing them to try and move the aching feeling in them but nothing helped.

I shook my head, “I ca-can’t do this, Killian. Make it stop.”

“I can’t make it stop, Mat. You don’t great, you’re almost there.” he said. He lowered down on his knees and lowered my pajama pants so I was left in my bra and underwear. He took my face in his hands to make me look up at him, “You’re doing great, better than most of us. You haven’t started crying.”

I breathed heavily, glaring at him for trying to make a joke. I pushed him back roughly and he actually fell on his back, “This isn’t a joke!”

He quickly sat up as he nodded and held his hand up, “Alright, you’re right. No joking.”

I placed my hand against the ground, lowering my head as I breathed through the pain. I dug my nails into the ground, dirt going under my nails. I watched as my nails length and sharpens to a point. My eyes widen as I watched my fingers grow a little and my veins appeared as my hands slowly started to turn.

I felt something sting my gums in my mouth as if someone was pressing needles into my mouth. I cried in pain, bring my hands up to my mouth but the pointy ends just scratched me. I brought my tongue up against my teeth and my eyes widen as I felt them sharp.

I could feel my spine moving and I cried in pain as my whole body prepared. My eyes wide and everything turned black.

Killian

I watched as Mat shifted into a wolf in front of all of us.

She stood the normal height of a female wolf. Bigger than an average wolf, but slightly smaller than a male. Her fur was brown color like her hair and her eyes were glowing gold. I grinned down at her, reaching down and rubbed her head. I scratched behind her ear and she seemed to enjoy that. Devin got up from the ground and walked over, but before he could touch her she snipped at him. It was hard to control herself, I knew that. She only trust me right now because she knew I was her mate but everyone had to be careful not to get to close to her or else she’ll feel threaten.

I laughed and he glared at me. All of the members stood up and began to undress. I brought my hands down to her head, grinning, “You go on, I’ll catch up. Promise.” I said, pushing her towards the woods and she ran off.

I watched her for a moment on where she ran until I felt someone eyes on me. I turned to see Nate looking at me before he threw his shirt off and ran off behind Marco towards the woods. My eyebrows furrowed together, confused. That guy is really weird.