I saw Killian waiting by the lake so I thought I would sneak up on him. I bit my lower lip, trying not to giggle as I came up behind him, and when I was I placed my hands on his shoulders and jumped onto his back, “Scared ya!”

“It’s impossible to sneak up on a wolf, Mat.” he said as his arms went around my legs and help me further up since I was slipping. “And you’re late.”

“I had to sneak out, sue me.” I said. “And how’d you get away from all mighty Lincoln?”

“My father is getting drunk with him and a few other men.” he said. He turned his head to look at me and I was met with his perfect blue eyes I could stare at all night. It was like staring up at the stars with a million of them in the sky. I remember going into the city a couple of times and hated it because I could hardly see the stars. The outline of gold in Killian sparkled like a star. He leaned his head towards mine, but I turned my head away, making him sigh.

“Friends don’t do that, Killian.” I said.

“And how would you know?” he asked, making me smile. “You try to pick a fight with every girl in school.”

“Not every girl.” I said. “Emily is my best friend.”

“She’s a freshmen and you share a room together, that’s different.” he said. “She smells like a human.”

“And what does a human smell like?” I asked. “Because I must smell like one a whole lot.”

“Humans smell like—clothes that been in the washer with no detergent and it dries. It has that weird smell.” he said. “You smell more like a wolf now that you’ve been around your own kind. It’s like a fresh earthy smell.”

“Do you eat humans?” I asked and he chuckled. “Serious questioned!”

“No, Hollywood made our kind into a monster.” he said. “We’re hardly monsters, we hunt animals like deer’s, rabbits, and squirrels.”

“Like you hunt them with guns or . . . or with your teeth. . .”

“Fresh meats always good.” he said and I made a look of disgust. “Wait until you turn, you’ll know what I mean.” He tilt his head back and pressed his nose against my hair, inhaling deeply. He kissed under my ear and my back stiffen a little.

I pulled my head back, “Killian,”

He sighed heavily as he pulled away, “Time, I know. You need time, but do you know how it feels to badly want something?”

“Yes, yes I do.” I said as I got down from his back and he turned to me. “And most of the time I didn’t get it.” He stared at me for a moment before putting his hands around my face and he kissed me quickly before I could stop him. My hands came up to his shoulders and I meant to push him away, but I felt so blown away from the kiss. It was blissfully good. My hands balled into a fist, grabbing some of his gray long sleeve shirt.

He pulled away and pressed his forehead against mine, but I kept my eyes closed, “Be mine.” he whispered.

I shook my head, “No.”

He sighed heavily, “Why not?”

“Because I never been anyone anything, I’ll just screw it up.” I said as I opened my eyes and pulled my head away. “I don’t know how to be perfect.”

“I’m not asking you to be perfect.” he said as he took my hand. “What are you scared of?”

Not belonging, I thought as I looked down at the ground. “You should be with some like Melinda, she’s perfect.”

“Melinda is a spoiled brat who doesn’t even really like me.” he said. “She likes attention, you see she didn’t talk.”

I took my hand out of his and scoffed, “I got nothing, though. I don’t have nothing to my name, I live in a group home for God sakes.”

“You think I care about that?” he asked. “If I did, I wouldn’t be trying this hard.”

“And if you weren’t made—made to feel this way about me you wouldn’t care about me at all.” I said and he scoffed. “Same goes for me, we should be forced into how we should feel.”

“You still don’t get it I guess.” he said and I gave him a confused look. “We were paired together for a reason, it’s not like they put up together because we looked nice together or something. Our souls are a perfect match like a puzzle, we’re meant to be together. Before our souls were just half, but now that we’re together, they’re together. Did you know wild wolves have mates to? We’re just like them.”

I huffed out my nose heavily as I brought my jacket closer to together, “This, this is a mistake.” I said as I rubbed my arms and looked down at my shoes.

“Why?” he asked coldly. “What is?”

I looked up at him, “You don’t deserve to be with a girl like me—a screw up. You’re such a great guy and I’m not a great girl. My family is apparently messed up their selves so I don’t see why they would pair us who ever the fuck they are.”

“I think you’re great.” he said.

I groaned, “Because you have to!”

“No, I believe you will do something great. I don’t know what it is, but you will and you’ll realize how great you are yourself.” he said. “You’re not as crazy like you think you, you’re just feeling sorry for yourself.”

“Sorry for myself?” I coldly asked and he nodded. “What could I feel sorry about myself for?”

“You can’t get over that you’re parents had to leave you behind and you got stuck in a group home.” he said.

I snorted, laughing humorlessly, “Keep going.”

“You were raised by a bunch of humans where you did feel like you belonged. You have a brother who want to you to come live with them, but you feel like you can’t because you don’t want to make that human feel like you’re abandoning her to.” he said

“Okay! Stop it.” I said coldly to him.

“You think no one in the pack will accept them because you’re scared you won’t belong there to just as you don’t with the humans.” he said.

“Don’t think I’m not scared of hitting you.” I said coldly, hoping he’ll get the picture that I want him to stop.

“And you never really felt anyone love you, so you’re scared someone actually might—did I get them right?” he coldly asked when I threw my fist out but he caught it. We glared at each other heavily and I all I wanted to do was hit him. Scream at him, anything to get all my frustration out because of how right he was, but I wouldn’t admit that to the either of us. “I guess I did, this is one of the times where I hate being right.”

I cried in frustration and hit his chest, “Shut up! You don’t know anything, Killian.” I turned and ran away, but I only got a few feet when he grabbed me and put his arms around me. My eyes stung with tear, all these emotions running through my body. He placed his forehead on my shoulders he held tightly onto me.

Tears slipped down my face since it just felt nice to be held. Really be held, the kind of holding you want when you feel like complete crap. I sobbed right there, letting go of all my dignity for the moment. I turned in Killian arms and put my arms around his waist, placing my cheek against his chest as tears slid down my face.

So maybe I did feel a little sorry for myself.

*

I was walking out of Wings Hope when a car pulled up to the curb and my eyebrows furrowed. A man got out from the passenger door, “Going somewhere?” he asked.

“What’s it to you?” I asked, not seeing as it’s any of his business of my plans. I was going to go meet Killian since I finally thought about things. It turned out I felt so much better after crying last night. I always hated crying, I thought crying was for the weak, but something about crying last night made it feel like so much stuff was lifting off my shoulders. It helped allot that it was Killian there to hold me, I actually felt cared about a lot and actually didn’t want to leave his side. Kind of painfully actually to leave.

The man grabbed my arm and put the other behind my back, forcing me towards the car as it opened, “Get in.”

“Hey! Hey man, stop it!” I yelled but I was pretty much thrown in and the door closed behind me. I heard a noise like the sound of a lock and soon the car speeding away. I pressed myself against the door, trying to open it but I was right, it was locked. I turned my head and saw another man in the back seat with me. “What is going on?” I asked coldly to show no fear to them the three men.

“Alpha Lincoln needs to see you.” he said.

I scoffed, “So you three meat heads idea was to threw me into this car and kidnapped me? You could have said something!” I yelled angrily. “What are you? Animals—forget what I just said.” I said since they are animals! “But still, what the hell?”

“You were supposed to come earlier, remember?” the one next to me asked.

“I lost track of time, sue me.” I said coldly.

“You can’t do that, not with Alpha Lincoln. You can never miss a meeting.” the one driving me.

“Look jackass, I said I lost track of time.” I said. “But you think kidnapping me into this car in front of that building was smart?”

“I doubt they’ll care so much.” the one who forced me into the car said. “And you shouldn’t either, their just humans.”

“And you three are just jackasses.” I said. “Is that how you treat your women?”

“No, you’re just stubborn.” the driver said. “He warned us you might fight with us, so we did as we were told. Get you into the car and bring you to him.”

“Kiss my ass.” I said as I slumped back in my seat. The driver looked at me in the rear-view mirror and I brought my hand up, giving him the finger. I was totally flared up mad since that was no way to get me to come with them and now I can’t go see Killian to tell him I changed my mind! Killian is a good guy and maybe he’s right. I’m too scared to be with someone who might care about me, but I should take a risk. I’m always doing dumb shit so why not? Nothing like having your first boyfriend when you’re finally a senior because a guy finally interested in you.

A cute guy I might add.

*

Alpha Lincoln put two pair of gold band rings on his desk in front of me and I gave him a confused look, “Read the engrave.” he said.

Confused, I picked the two rings up and I looked inside of them that said Melinda. I picked the other one up and saw Killian name. “I don’t understand.” I said as I set the two rings down.

“Their wedding bands.” he said and I bit the inside of my cheek to stop myself from laughing. “Things work differently in this world, Matilda. Arranged marriage between the highest in the pack so our kind can live on.”

“Okay?” I questioned, shrugging as I crossed my arms across my chest.

“Killian father is the Beta of Massachusetts and his family is the oldest to stay in that position since it became a state. Killian father, Aaron, has seven older sons but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about Killian future. He’s is to be with Melinda so they’ll have many strong babies.” he said. “You need to respect that no matter how much in lust you two are.”

“Lust?” I questioned, laughing.

He nodded, “Yes, Melinda has told me she saw you two the morning after his transformation.”

I scoffed, “We weren’t doing anything like she probably said. Just . . . kissing.” I said as my face heating up.

“Killian is only here for one reason; to get to know Melinda and she will do the same thing.” he said. “Now, I know it’s different from the human’s girl but no matter how wild our girls may seem, they are very innocent and pure. Don’t ruin your reputation by being with someone else betrothal. No one wants a girl who’s been used already.”

“Used already?” I questioned and he nodded. “Like be a whore? I’m not a whore.”

“I know that, like I have said I have been watching you Matilda and you are a good girl. Bad attitude, but not a whore. ” he said. “But if the others found you with Killian, they will talk. Stay away from him, he belongs with Melinda.”

My hands balled into tight fist at him telling me what to do. He can’t order me like that, he isn’t my father and I still probably wouldn’t listen to him if he was.

“You are to be with Will, he’s a great guy.” he said.

“You don’t get it though, Killian and I—“

“Are two young wolves with changing hormones.” he said and I laughed humorlessly. “I know you have feelings, but keep them yourself. Stay away from my daughter betrothal and be with yours.” he ordered and for some reason, his voice was hard and serious that actually made me a little scare. He was the Alpha everyone was saying and I knew a little things about wolves that I had learned from school.

Everyone respects and does what the alpha says.