I was still there when Zak found me an hour later. I presumed that Terry had informed him of my presence there and it was only then that I realised that I was late for work. I apologised profusely for my lateness and yet surprisingly, Zak waved away that apology.

He gave me an appraising look before he said - "You're angry, Sasha. Why?"

He must have caught hold of the residual rage that still clung around my frame. Zak was exceptionally good at reading people, apparently.

"I had an argument... with a family member," was all I could think of to say. "Let's just say they don't approve of what I'm doing... with you."

While Stryker most definitely was not a family member, the last sentiment was at least somewhat near to the truth and was all the explanation I was willing to give the other man.

"Ah," Zak said and crossed his arms over his chest. "And I suppose that this means the end of us? Families do tend to put the kybosh on things somewhat. At times."

"I told her I didn't give a flying fuck what she thought and I'm continuing seeing you whatever she thinks," I gritted out, deciding that he was owed that much.

He laughed and that laughter was genuine before he said - "Clever boy. Well, I'm glad to hear it."

Zak gave me an appraising look again before he continued - "How about you spar against me for a while?"

"We have work," I pointed out.

"And I think they can do just fine without the boss and his lover for a while," Zak pointed out. "I can't have you walking into my restaurant in a boiling rage. We need to work that shit out of you. You're not Gordon Ramsay, you know."

That made me laugh. Considering that Gordon Ramsay was a chef and not a bartender made his quip seem even funnier.

There seemed little else that we could say on the subject, so I waited until Zak had changed into his training gear and rejoined me in the ring. We got to sparring and it seemed as though we were evenly matched, despite my lack of training. We both were exhausted by the time the session was ended and the rage that had lingered in me after the talk with my handler had ebbed away, leaving only exhaustion behind.

"Come back with me, Sasha. I think we can show our faces at the Brasserie for a while. Then I'll show you something," Zak said quietly.

I nodded and when I tried to press him for further details, he wouldn't reveal a thing.

****

The staff at the Brasserie kept making rude jokes about our late arrival together. Neither Zak nor I refuted or denied such claims, which made the rumours and jokes flow even thicker and faster. Zak looked amused and he nodded over at me when he caught me watching him, as though he was pleased that I was playing the game. I found that that the 'game' was rather an exciting one - all of it - and I wondered then just what I thought I was doing.

I thought once again that I was lost.

****

The surprise that Zak had promised me was a trip out to his house - something that he said was modest but was actually a mansion behind high brick walls and electrified gates. Once inside, it felt like a quiet, other world from the one I was used to and I felt surprise, comfort and even admiration for what he'd achieved. I even felt a little intimidated. My own house - my genuine one, not the flat provided by MI5 - was not a patch on what this guy owned. I couldn't believe that he considered it modest.

He led me inside, his hand caught up with mine as he tugged me through to the games room. He opened a secret door that led to a positive armoury; he rooted around until he found a small handgun. He handed it to me - butt first - and smiled when I hesitated.

He waggled it around enticingly again before he urged - "Go on. Take it. It's a gift. Just something to protect yourself with."

"I hope this is not anything to do with that argument I had earlier," I remarked in alarm. "I can't go shooting everyone I have an argument with - especially not... family members."

I'd almost given the game away and said my handler yet had just stopped myself in time.

"I know but I'd feel safer if you had that with you," he said and his face turned solemn. "There will be times when things won't be relegated to just angry words alone. I can't send you out there with just your fists and your wits, you know."

When I still didn't take the weapon, he hooked his fingers in my belt and tugged the material of my trousers away from my hips.

"Hey!" I said in surprise despite my loud burst of laughter.

I didn't push him away - not even when he slipped the gun behind my belt. I even could have sworn he copped a look down my trousers with a smile. I doubted he could see much as my trousers were pretty form fitting and I was glad that the safety was on the gun too. It was a bit too close to home for my liking if the piece was loaded and ready.

"Don't worry. It's not loaded," Zak assured me as though reading my mind. "Wouldn't want to spoil the goods otherwise, hmm?"

"Cheeky bastard," I said and laughed my way out of the armoury in his wake.

He didn't apologise for his comment and I didn't expect him to. I didn't even want him to because there was nothing for him to apologise for. It was just banter and Zakariah Quantrell without his banter would have been a stranger to me then.

He gave me a tour of the house and I was impressed by the somewhat modest luxury. Though he had the whole gamut of boys' toys - giant TV screens, personal bars, and lots of books that were obviously well-read and loved - it surprised me that he didn't have things like chandeliers and gold toilets.

He did have a reptile room however and I was delighted by the displays of vivariums and enclosures that housed such creatures as leopard geckos, crested geckos, bearded dragons and iguanas. Zak even had some axolotls and frogs swimming around in a few tanks.

"And? Do you like it?" he asked and he seemed suddenly like the young boy he must once have been, seeking approval from his peers.

"Yeah. It's different to my shitty old flat," I admitted with a wry smile. "I love your reptiles. I'm into reptiles, too."

"Well. That makes you a good man in my eyes. And I wouldn't know about the state of your flat, but I'm sure it isn't all that bad. I used to live in a flat," Zak said without preamble. "I just wanted you to see what you were going to marry into."

He gave me one of his cheeky grins even as I laughed.

"Marriage now? And what happened to taking all of this slowly?" I asked as I raised an eyebrow. "At least give it a year or so before we talk about marriage."

"And? Will you still be here in a year?" he asked, and while his tone was couched to be idle, I doubted it actually was an idle question.

I thought he meant it. I didn't know how to answer. Once again I wondered - when my mission was over, then what? Would I still want to go on seeing him? Would that even be allowed? I knew that it wouldn't be and that hurt me more than I thought it would.

"I hope so," was all the answer I could give. "I bloody well hope so."

"Is it the house?" Zak asked wryly. "Are you blinded by the lush surroundings? And the cute leopard geckos?"

"No. I'm blinded by the man in it," I gritted out. "But the leopard geckos certainly help."

Zak actually looked surprised by my admission - despite the tacked on half-joke about the geckos - before his surprise melted into a smile.

"Oh! A spirited answer and, I suspect, a genuine one. I like that," he said and he seemed saddened suddenly. "I only hope we get to see the year out together. Then I'll ask you to marry me."

"And what happens if I decide to ask you to marry me?" I countered, hoping to deflect the conversation away from troubling thoughts of forbidden relationships or a potential loss of a job.

"Oh no. You don't get to do that, sonny. I'm the mafia boss here, remember? I ask you," he said firmly.

"Oh? Going all macho on me, are we?" I asked and Zak grinned at my light teasing.

"No. Just telling the truth," Zak said. "I already told you that when I decide what I want - "

"You get it," I finished off with a wry smile.

"Exactly. And I've decided that I want you to marry me. In a year's time," Zak said firmly. "And by fuck, I'll make sure that'll happen."

I had no doubt that he would and I only hoped that he would get his chance. I really was getting in too deep with all of this and I was starting not to care.