Hey guys,

it's ur gurl mallycat504

(who is still upset about Alex saying that word)

Now if you're coming from the update on Mercy's story (which updated like a week ago?) I bet you're hoping for a bit of cute fluffy...what are they calling it? 

Oh yeah.

 Axon.

BUT SORRY NOT SORRY TO DISAPPOINT

CAUSE THIS BOOK IS ABOUT FREAKING CROSS COUNTRY!!!

-=+=-

Whenever I dreamt, I could see. 

I could see the colors of the sunrise. I could see the wind blowing through the trees' leaves. I could see the waves of the ocean crashing against the shore. I could see the world spiraling around me in all of its beauty that I couldn't fully understand until now. Colors screamed at me. Textures clawed at my eyes. The world circled around me like a bird overhead, flying off and leaving me in the darkness of the waking world. There was a sense of irony in that. When most people slept, that was the time of darkness for them, but with me, my dreams were the only place I got to see the light.

I treasured each dream, praying they would return the next night. I had always feared the day when I forgot the colors of the world as my memories were lost to time. Every once in a while I dreamt in darkness. I always awoke with my heart pounding and gasping for breath. Those were my nightmares. Not failing my math test or coming to school naked. In those dreams at least I could see. Yet when my dreams robbed me of the one thing I loved the most about them, that was when they became nightmares. I suppose forgetting color, something most people took for granted, was one of my biggest fears.

The other was being betrayed and left all alone as I was by my ex-friends.

Yet this time when I closed my eyes I found myself on a cross-country track. I recognized it as the one where I'd run my first race on. It began raining in the middle of the race that day and all of us were drenched to the bone, yet we kept on going, pushing ourselves since there was no lighting. That meant the race had to go on. Only this time, I knew I was chasing after something, only I didn;t know what. So I just kept running and running, pushing myself to catch up with whoever was in front of me, yet as soon as I got close, my world returned to shadow before I could glimpse their face.

My head ached when I opened my eyes, and my throat felt raw. I wiped the semi-dried drool from my cheek using the sleeve of my shirt. I had a bad tendency to sleep with my mouth open, so that also meant I tended to drool. A lot. It took me a moment to realize where I was, yet the bouncing that only came when riding in a bus gave me a sharp reminder. I yawned, stretching my arms. I was still on the bus with the rest of the cross country team and despite my little nap, I still felt exhausted and my body still ached from running earlier today. 

It was late Thursday evening, the day before a much deserved three day weekend, which I was going to be spending going to the ophthalmologist, and we were all returning from an after school cross-country meet, just outside of DC. It seemed we had to drive further away with every time and the bus rides back only got longer. Unlike when I was in Junior High, where we were free to go home if our parents came and picked us up, the High School coaches wanted us to ride back on the bus for a reason I cannot fathom. Yet, most runners parents disregarded this rule and picked them up anyways. 

Not my mom though.

And thankfully, not Jaxon's either. Even though I couldn't see him I knew that he was in the seat across from me, either playing on his phone, like most kids, or sleeping like me. I almost hoped that he was sleeping. There were so many questions I wanted to ask him about Rhys, but he had been distant since Monday, skipping lunch even though I knew he was at school and kind of avoiding me altogether. The only time he didn't though was when we ran, yet even then I could form the right words to ask the right questions. And what bothered me most about all of this was how much of a hypocrite Jaxon was!

I had to talk to Mercy and get my shit worked out but he got to hide in the courtyard or someplace and avoid humanity all together!

"You're making a pouty face, Raindrop, what's wrong?" Jaxon's voice was all too familiar in my ear. So I guess he was awake. Although he did sound tired, which was a first.

"Nothing," I sighed. I wondered if Jaxon cared if it was a lie. I bet he had already guessed what was the matter before he had even asked. But I'm pretty sure he could read me like an open book by now. Perhaps he always could.

"If you're mad about me avoiding you, I'm sorry, okay?" he said. "There are so many things I want to tell you but...I just can't," Jaxon sighed. 

"And why not?" I snapped, my voice getting louder than I intended it to. But I didn't really care either. I was tired and frustrated and I just really wanted things to back to making since. But right now, for the first time, I was glad I could see. I didn't want to see the hurt that must have spread across Jaxon's face. "Why can't you just stop playing games and just tell me what you look like," I asked, gritting my teeth in anger.

"Raindrop," Jaxon started. "I'm sorry."

My gaze dropped. 

My stomach hurt. 

I knew these signs all too well. I regret what I had said. 

"No," I said, shaking my head. "I'm the one who should be sorry," I sighed. "I'm sorry you got stuck with suck a whiney little bitch as your girlfriend."

Jaxon let out a slight laugh. "I wouldn't have it any other way," he said. "And I'm sorry you got stuck with and annoying ass as your boyfriend."

"We can still work on that."

"Hey!" Jaxon snapped.

"Joking," I said, with a slight laugh.

"Do you want me to buy you ice cream to make it up to you?" he asked. "We can go tomorrow if you want?"

"As much as I'd like eating frozen diabetes with you, I have an ophthalmologist appointment tomorrow and I won't want to do shit afterward," I said. "How about Saturday?" I offered.

"That's family day at the Augustine house," he sighed. "

"So you, your mom and dad just hang out. That seems nice," I said with a smile. My family used to do something lie that. Of course, that was back before my dad died.

"Oh, did I not tell you?" Jaxon asked. "My mom and dad have been divorced since I was three and last I heard from my dad I was six," he said, his voice so nonchalant it almost scared me. "I think that's when he got thrown into jail for helping rob a bank with another guy."

"Wow, um, I'm sorry," I said, unsure of what else to say.

"Oh, it's fine," Jaxon said his voice still eerily calm. "So do you want to go Sunday? Or do you go to church on Sundays?" he asked.

"I do, but I'm free in the afternoons. Pick me up around three?" I asked.

"Sounds great so long as you're not lactose intolerant," he teased, reminding me of the first time we had gone to get ice cream and I had told him that. A smile spread across my lips and it didn't fade until I went to bed that night, and once more, I was left chasing after a person whose face I never could see.

-=+=-

AN:

Everything in this story is connected, woven together like a massive spider web, and you dear readers are little more than flies ensnared by my web.

Never forget that~