Seiren's nightmare used to involve reliving with horrible accuracy that fateful night six years ago. The rogue Hannan's face, the dead eyes and bulbous nose, as he fled the scene of murder, her father lying dead on the ground, and Madeleine's laboured last breaths. Her desperation at wanting him dead and at the same time clinging onto her twin. Her rash decision to fire that experimental rune in her mother's repertoire that hit none other than her mother, attempting to escape the Hannan's grasp. Her disintegrated body. Seiren sketching the other experimental rune in her mother's book, sobbing and dying with guilt, tying Madeleine's soul to the crimson gem around her neck.

The nightmare changed. That night, after Madeleine's soul slid into the necklace with a whisper, her dead body convulsed and throbbed, tumours growing all over her body. Seiren crawled back, her throat tightened in terror. Cold sweat broke out all over her body. Madeleine's legs bent in all sorts of impossible direction, bones cracking with every erratic, jerking movement. Her eyes bulged out, bloodshot and red. A limp tail sprouted from her back, wagging. A long tongue lolled out, leaving saliva on the floor. The mutated dog that was Madeleine pounced onto Seiren, long teeth shining in the dark night.

Seiren woke up screaming. For a moment, her voice echoed back to her in that tiny room. There was no window; her room was still in complete darkness, but judging by the sounds of movement outside and the chirping of the birds, it was day time. Her night dress stuck to her with cold sweat. Her hair plastered to her forehead. She groaned, slapping a hand to her face. The sting forced the remains of the dream away, but leaving the sick sensation behind. She touched the bedside lamp. The yellow rune activated on contact, bathing the room in a soft glow. No monsters. No dead Madeleine. Well, no more dead than usual.

The usual nightmare? Madeleine popped up, when Seiren placed the necklace back on her neck. Seiren showed her the images. Oh. Oh dear.

Delightful, isn't it?

Seiren got changed in silence. Long belted tunic fell over leggings and she tugged on her favourite boots. One more day to go. Tomorrow she would get her first assignment as probationary state mage and would have less time to faff about with Rowan and his burst magic. Her heart weighed heavy at the thought of him, tending to that injured and dying dog. She probably shouldn't have intervened; it wasn't her place even if it would have died anyway. Her rune had healed its leg, but at what cost?

There was still a long way to go for her life runes.

"Good morning."

Rowan's attempt at being his usual chipper self didn't really sell, when they met at the arena. Seiren took in his bloodshot eyes and swollen eyelids. Even his voice was nasally. And it was all probably thanks to her.

"Good morning," said Seiren, not meeting his eyes.

"Right. Show me what you've practised so far." The same drill, just like the day before. He stood with his legs spread, arms crossed over his excrement-brown long shirt, to her right.

Seiren tried harder, more out of pity for him and guilt than anything. Mind, emptied. All thoughts banished. Madeleine sat in the corner, making herself small. Seiren's heart rate slowed, her breathing evened. The surroundings disappeared into nothingness. Magic swirled at her fingertips.

In, out, in, out. She sucked in a breath. Eyes snapped open, catching the battered cross on the ground. She drew on all the magic in her mind in one mad rush and snapped her fingers.

A spark jumped just off the fingertips and disappeared.

"Rune me to hell!"

For a fleeting moment, Seiren considered throwing down an altered red rune and blowing the whole place up.

Oh yes, that will stack really in your favour. Seiren Harred? 'Oh, yes, you're that newly qualified probationary mage that blew up the practice stadium. Of course we'd love to have you as state mage.'

"Don't call me by that name!"

As her words echoed in the arena, Seiren became aware of Rowan's quizzical look.

"You didn't want to tell me last time I asked you, Seiren, but..." He cocked his head. "Were you talking to that stone on your chest, just then?"

Seiren bit her tongue. She'd had another outburst. She thought she'd learnt to control that at King's, but apparently she was wrong. She lowered her trembling hand from where she'd clutched the necklace.

Well, isn't that the reason you had no friends? And your charming personality, of course.

"If you don't talk, then shall I?" Rowan scrutinised her. Seiren shivered, forcing her hands to stay relaxed by her side instead of clutching the necklace. Madeleine didn't share any of her anxiety, merely listened in with curiosity. "A sentient stone who speaks in your mind and a probationary mage with runing skills far beyond your age and experience. See, I had Tylene look into your records. There were plenty of news articles about what happened six years ago, seeing as a state mage's untimely death isn't exactly that common. Kristen Harred, one of the king's mages, was your mother, correct?"

Her hands trembled. She stared with resolution at the ground.

"And six years ago, there was an attack at your home, killing your father and sister, Madeleine Harred. The attacker escaped, but Kristen was also killed in that attack. The King's Academy of Magic accepted your application soon after and you enrolled there."

Images of that night flashed before Seiren's eyes, turning her blood to ice. She shivered. It was her only means of escaping from Finberry. And it was meant to be her and Madeleine, both attending King's.

"I'm guessing that rune on the stone was your doing, but to do that at twelve years old... that's really impressive. I'm guessing that rune is one of Kristen's creation, seeing as she was one of the best rune mages of all time, but to be able to draw it and activate it?" Rowan chuckled and shook his head in awe. "The attacker killed your father first, I understand. Then Madeleine. And some kind of intense rune magic killed Kristen. Judging by the state she was found in, I don't think her soul would have stood much of a chance." All because of Seiren. Her mother's blood stained her hands. Matricide. "My best guess is that it's Madeleine in that necklace. Am I correct?"

Oooh he's not so dumb after all, Seiren.

"Thanks for the trip down memory lane. I really wanted to get the flashbacks."

To her surprise, Rowan's gave a small apologetic smile. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to unearth unpleasant memories."

"I couldn't have guessed."

"But your failure at burst magic – I think I know why."

Seiren frowned. Six years at King's and she couldn't solve it, and Rowan thought a dig into her background and he could?

"Tell me, does Madeleine ever switch off? Is she always present?"

Not when you're sleeping I'm not.

When Seiren remained silent, Madeleine gave her a nudge.

Just tell him. It's for your own good. Stuff the pride.

"When I'm sleeping, she's... off. I take off the necklace."

The look on Rowan's face told her it was as he suspected. The smugness she expected didn't come.

"'Common mistakes in trainees include failure to fully empty the mind—'"

"'--Before drawing on magic, altering their target after conjuring the magic, and responding to distractions during the conjuring.' I'm very familiar with that line," said Seiren tersely.

"Well, thinking that Madeleine does not occupy your mind only when your mind is asleep..."

He thinks—

"You think she's my distraction preventing burst magic?" It sounded ridiculous, but also wasn't a completely alien concept to her.

"Something has to keep her fuelled and awake. That something is you. Your mind. Your magic."

"No." Seiren's hands curled into fists. Her heart drummed against her ribcage. "I won't."

"Won't what?"

"Won't get rid of her just so I can do your bloody weak-ass burst magic!" she yelled the last part. Fire coursed through her body. Rowan's eyebrows would have disappeared into his hair were the latter not cut so short. Even Madeleine seemed surprised.

I don't think he's suggesting you get rid of me, Seiren.

"I'm not suggesting you get rid of Madeleine. Merely that you consider either not powering her on with your mind and magic when you do burst magic, or, if that's mostly a subconscious thing, then you take off your necklace before you do so." Rowan shrugged. "But hey, I'm merely your supervisor. You don't have to do anything you don't want to. It's only a state mageship at stake, after all."

The loathsome irritating cockroach! Her back prickled all over.

Calm down, Seiren. You're getting riled up for nothing.

"I'll give you this advice though, Seiren Harred – or Nithercott, whatever you go by nowadays – fuelling Madeleine all the time is a constant drain on your focus and magic reserve. Life magic is an untested and volatile branch of magic and we don't know the long-term consequences of its use. If you don't shut her down when doing burst magic, you'll either continue to be a failure at it or it'll jeopardise anything you're able to conjure. Any consequences of that will be directly your own because you refuse to address the problem."

He's got a point.

The point he's getting is from my boot up his ass.

If you're not going about this objectively there is no point in talking to you.

Madeleine withdrew into herself. Seiren tried to tug her back out, to no avail. The stone was still warm against her chest, so Madeleine was still 'fuelled', as Rowan put it, but she ignored Seiren. Seiren looked up. Rowan didn't look angry or repulsed, merely frustrated. Think about it objectively, she said.

Well I bloody can't.

"I can see you're not in a fit state to go about your training right now." Rowan's drawl broke her from her cocoon of angst. "I'll let you go today, but I expect some progress in a week. If this is to continue, I'm afraid I'm in no position to recommend you for state mageship in a year's time. If your goal is to ascend that ladder, then you should think about that."

Seiren knew she was dismissed. Rowan turned and marched out without a backward glance. At the far end, he swung open the metal doors, where he was greeted by his two subordinates, and they disappeared in the distance. Seiren stood alone in the hall, her head silent for once, Madeleine's presence but a shadow in the back. Her fists shook and her mind swirled.

Think about that.

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