⚠️ MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING FOR THIS CHAPTER ⚠️

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(y/n) - your name

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"Ok, let's backtrack here, you got your memories back which is great but you're alive because you might have the Mindflayer in you!?" Dustin exclaims.

"Does that mean she's the enemy now?" Lucas whispers unsuccessfully to his friends since everyone looks at (y/n) who frowned at that notion.

"No, she's not! How can you say that! She gave up her life for us!" Steve exclaims. "She's my-our friend! She fought with us and help us take down the Mindflayer!"

"But we don't know if she's being controlled right now like Heather, like her brother..." Dustin says. "I know she's helped us but it's a possibility-"

"-no it's fucking not!" Billy hisses. "(Y/n) is not the enemy, she would never be the enemy 'cause she's saved all your asses and-even though I would rather take her away from all this-she wants to help you again with this shit! Not once has she hurt any of you! And there's no way I will let any harm come to her, even if it means hurting you all to keep her safe." Billy seethes, the group flinching back from the protective boyfriend as he held his love close to him. "Don't you sat lay a finger on her or I swear it won't be the only thing you lose." He threatens, (y/n) pulling him back and shaking her head.

"Billy don't, please..." she whispers and he looks at her with hurt in his eyes.

"You said you got your memories back," Dustin says, thinking. "tell us something only the real (y/n) would know."

"But doesn't the Mindflayer have all the memories of its victims it takes over?" Lucas asks, the D&D kids conversing.

"They only have basic info of their victims, like names and places. Just enough to fool someone but not emotional memories. Painful or happy memories work best." Everyone turns to (y/n), waiting expectantly.

"But Billy has told everything that's happened between him and her, and (y/n)'s time here in Hawkins. The Mindflayer can just retell those memories." Lucas says.

⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING START ⚠️

"Then it has to be something (y/n) never told anyone. Something from her past." Dustin explains. (Y/n) sighs heavily, feeling numb as she pulled up the long sleeve on her left hand.

"This is the reason I ran away from my home." The group looks at their friend's arm with shock and sadness, Billy frowning sadly at how empty his love suddenly looked as she traced the dark lines on her inner arm. Lines that ripped through the skin from her wrist and to her elbow.

"You..." Steve choked up, trying not to tear up.

"I fucking despised my life, my body and everything about me. I couldn't feel happy, I was just numb and so mad and I just wanted to feel something. Pain was the only thing that made me feel, it was the only thing I deserved. I didn't deserve to be happy. I was a fucking burden, a waste of space, I wanted to die but I was afraid of dying."

"That's why you had that empty pen in your drawer..." Billy whispers, remembering the spat they had before the mall chaos when she was so adamant about chucking the pen away.

"I was a disappointment to everyone around me so I left. I left so I wouldn't disappoint anyone else. I could make myself suffer living a lonely life until the day I die... until I met you..." (y/n) looks at Billy and he leans his forehead on hers. "I was so focused on taking care of you and Max, that I stopped hating myself so I could love you both. The silence wasn't as deafening with the kids around, I wasn't alone with the older kids group, I was busy with spending time with everyone and with school and it kept my mind busy and off from how much I hated myself..."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Billy murmurs sadly as he wipes away the stray tears that fell from (y/n)'s eyes despite how hard she tried not to cry.

"I didn't want to burden anyone. You were hurting already and I just wanted to make sure you were safe and happy..."

"(Y/n), you don't..." Steve asks careful, hesitant as he held her hands.

"Not since I came back alive." He lets out a breath of relief along with everyone else.

"We're so sorry (y/n), I'm so sorry for pushing you and for making you do this and just for being annoying-" the girl pulls Dustin and Lucas into a hug, letting them cry softly in her arms.

"You have nothing to be sorry for." She whispers, kissing the top of their heads, looking up to see Max with a heartbroken expression on her face. She lets the boys go, pulling Max into a hug. The redhead girl wished to tell (y/n) how she was feeling but choked up as she just hugged her tightly.

"I'm sorry..." she whispered over and over again, the girls being pulled in by Billy to hold them in his arms. He didn't want his family to go through anymore of this pain again, it killed him inside that he didn't know or didn't even ask.

"I'm not letting you two get hurt again..." he whispers, kissing his loves head and his sisters until he let them go so (y/n) could get hugs from her friends.

"Is there anything we can do-"

"-don't. Don't say that please." (Y/n) quickly snaps but apologised to Nancy. "Don't pity me-"

"-it's not pity (y/n), we're worried-"

"-don't worry about me anymore, please. I just want to move past this and not bring it up ever again." The girl cuts Robin off as she frowns at her friend, not likening how she just wanted to shove everything away deep down.

⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING END ⚠️

"(Y/n) please-"

"-Steve just not now, please. We have Vecna to stop remember." The man purses his lips, everyone nodding hesitantly as they all decide to get dressed and freshen up to go to Victor Creel's house.

~~~~~~~~

"Are you sure you're ok?" Billy asks as he holds out his hands for (y/n) to hold so he could help her out of the car, carefully lifting her up while the others got out of Nancy's car in front of Victor's house.

"Yes, love. I'm fine." his love says with a weary smile and he squeezes her hands in his gently, leading her up the path to the front door of the creepy and decrepit old house with his arm around her waist after locking his car behind him. It stood eerily between trees, the windows all boarded up and covered in vines or shrubs.

"Yeah, that's not creepy..." (y/n) and Steve both say, the girl jumping from the sudden screeches of birds in the distance. The group stops in front of the door, the older boys grabbing out hammers to rip the nails out of the boarded door.

"What exactly are we supposed to belooking for in this shithole?" Steve asks, the nails clinking to the floor as he takes them out with Billy.

"We're not sure. We just know this houseis important to Vecna." Nancy answers behind him, the older girls strapped and ready with weapons in case anything bad happens.

"Maybe it holds a clue to where Vecna is.Why he's back. Why he killed the Creels. And how to stop himbefore he comes back for Max and (y/n)." Dustin says.

"We don't think he's in here, do we?" Lucas asks in fear, standing next to Max who stood next to (y/n).

"Guess we'll find out." Max responds back.

"At least we have protection if something happens." (y/n) says, lugging her backpack that had rifles and guns inside.

"Ready Harrington." Billy says and Steve nods to him, the boys stepping back to let the board fall to the porche with a loud thud as dust and dirt flung up in a cloud. Steve turned the doorknob and groans in annoyance that it was locked.

"Don't worry everyone, I got a key." Robin says with a smirk, holding a brick and immediately pelts it through the glass part of the door when everyone stepped away to give her space.

"This chicks alright." Billy nods in respect as the glass shatters, reaching through to unlock teh door from the other side. He swings the door open and everyone slowly tilts their head to peer inside into the darkness of the house, not wanting to walk into it.

"So who wants to go first?" (y/n) asks.

"Ladies first Harrington." Billy mocks and Steve glares at him before walking into the house first as the other older male follows him after. Everyone brandished their flashlights as they walked into the house, looking around while (y/n) was majorly creeped out by teh amount of spiderwebs she saw.

"Spiders!? Fucking spiders!? I knew I should've brought the fucking bug spray with me!" She shudders in fright, hoping nothing crawls on her or in her clothes as she bunches up the edge of her sweater and holds it tight around the flashlight she was holding.

"You have a fear of spiders?" Billy asks, a chuckle leaving his lips that were tilted up at the corners.

"Smalls ones are fine, easier to kill but fuck, the ones that are as big as a hand or even a palm... burn the place down!"

"Where'd everyone get those?" Steve suddenly asks as he noticed the whole group having flashlights except him.

"Do you need to be told everything?" Dustin looks at him in either shock or absolute disappointment. Maybe both. "You're not a child."

"Oh damn Dustin!" (y/n) says and Steve raises a brow at her as he crosses his arms. She rolls her eyes and grabs out a spare from her bag, tossing it to him as he caught it and turned it on.

"Thanks..."

"I got spares of everything. I'm always prepared."

"Watch out Steve, (y/n) is taking your place as the groups mum." Robin snickers.