Author's note:

Another warning: I'm not expert for leukemia and its consequences, so if there are any mistakes, I apologize in advance.

Enjoy it.

-

Nikki was a little frightened, looking at Daniel walking in circles on the hot sand of the beach they were surfing at. The man was visibly upset and she didn't blame him. She had just admitted to him that she knew more than she should about his life.

„Who told you?" he asked angrily, not looking into her eyes.

Nikki was silent for a few minutes.

„You did," she finally replied.

„Impossible!"

His eyes were wide open and he was astonished. She decided that it was finally time to explain exactly what happened that drunken night at the beach. She also told him how she found out about Sofia and her death. After this, the tall man's face was completely pale. He somewhat fell down to the sand, putting his head between his knees and taking deep breaths. The anxiety attack was now visibly clear. Nikki was scared to the bone. She immediately sat down next to him, her hand gently rubbing his back, trying to calm him down. And he calmed down soon, straightening again and taking another deep breath.

„Sanibel," he said, looking far at the creek, where a big tourist boat floated quietly.

„I'm sorry?" Nikki asked, not understanding.

Daniel looked at her, their eyes meeting. Nikki could see the amount of pain he was in. The pain she never had a chance to experience. And she was hoping she never will. Daniel wasn't just at a bad place. His girlfriend's death had completely destroyed him. Nikki started to wonder if in these two months she has spent here she had actually seen his true personality? Had she met Daniel, who existed before he had lost Sofia?

„I knew something was wrong from the beginning. I saw the bruises but I was sure they were here because of her clumsiness. I was sure Sofia would tell me if something was wrong. But she never did. Until one day, when she took me to Sanibel, the island near Florida, unannounced. That was our place, our safe haven. She took me there to tell me that she has leukemia," he explained, swallowing a lump. He was feeling a familiar roasting in his eyes...the arrival of tears. „I was so angry...really angry. I refused to accept that she was sick and told her to stop fooling around. She looked so hurt. Like I cheated on her or something like that. As if anyone would be joking about such a thing. Sofia really was sick. She was sick and I was..."

Daniel couldn't finish the sentence because his voice was breaking and tears were coming out of his blue eyes. He just bent his head, constantly rubbing his eyes as his body shook uncontrollably. Quiet sobs were leaving his mouth. Daniel was breaking down in every sense of the word.

The sight of a completely destroyed man was so painful that Nikki was afraid she would join him in crying. She grabbed his hand, clenching his palm firmly. She was afraid her was going to have a nervous breakdown. But he eventually pulled himself together.

„Anyway..." he started slowly, trying to calm his voice. „It was time to go to the hospital to get a treatment. I wanted to go with her, but she refused, causing countless fights. I won. I won the fight and went to the hospital with her just to find out that she wasn't telling me everything. I knew she had leukemia but Sofia never admitted to me how much her health was actually deteriorating and how bad her condition was."

As Daniel was talking, he could feel Nikki's gaze burning his face. The woman was intensely staring at him but he didn't have a strength to look up. He just stared at the ground. He had divulged the story of his life, once again experiencing painful images from his past in his head.

-

„Sofia, a nurse will take you to your room and prepare you for surgery. I've already told you everything you need to know. Is this going to be okay?" Dr. Rios, Sofia's oncologist spoke in a very formal tone.

The young girl stood up, nodding her head in acceptance. Today was significant because it was time to give up her current lifestyle and move her life to the hospital. Daniel looked completely bewildered. All of this was so hard but he couldn't ease it for her. He was just looking at her warm but, at the same time, terrified eyes. Now, he understood why she didn't want him to go to the hospital with her. Sofia was currently standing in front of a huge turning point in her life and Daniel was aware of the fact that today, after the surgery, her life would change completely.

They were currently in dr. Rios's office. As her mother had helped her to gather the remaining things, Sofia once again looked at her doctor.

„Umm...can you, please, talk to Daniel?" she asked as the tall man raised his head, hearing someone mention his name. „He is so agitated and he's asking a lot of questions I can't answer because I don't have an adequate answer. Can you talk to him to calm him down?"

Daniel smiled lightly and stood up. He approached his girlfriend, pressing a gentle, short kiss on her lips. Sofia immediately responded.

„Go," he said calmly. „I'll find you later."

She nodded and then left the office of her oncologist with her parents. Daniel took a deep breath, turning to the a middle-aged man. He looked at him well. Dr. Rios looked like he was just about to enter forties, a few gray hairs already showing on his head. His eyes were soft as he was trying to calm him down. Then, he rubbed the back of his neck, looking at him with interest.

„So, can you tell me where she currently stands?"

The doctor moved a few papers from his desk and then leaned over it.

„I'll scare you," he said quietly.

„What?"

„I'll scare you," he repeated. „I know you've just found out about her condition and you're probably completely frightened, but I have to scare you even more because I need to be sure that you're fully acquainted with all the possibilities before I let you go to Sofia's room. As you probably know, she has leukemia. Acute lymphoblastic leukemia at the third stage, which has metastasized in the lungs."

Daniel suddenly turned pale and sat down. The warom feeling he felt at the beginning disappeared just like that The full knowledge of Sofia's illness and the stage caused nausea that hit him hard. Dr. Rios realized it but didn't stop explaining.

„It's a type of leukemia which is extremely fast developing and very aggressive. Today, I'm going to perform a surgery on her lungs and try to get out as much malignant accumulation as possible. After that, we're going into the chemotherapy phase. In combination with the stage which Sofia currently has, I can immediately tell you that chemotherapy is just a temporary solution. We can try to fix the condition but it won't...save her. She needs bone marrow transplantation. Right now, you must be aware that Sofia you know disappears after the first dose of chemotherapy. The drug combination is extremely aggressive, made so that her body attacks itself, destroying the malignant cells but healthy cells too. She'll lose weight, strength, hair and therefore, the will to fight. What Sofia needs is someone, who will be there and give her a tremendous amount of support. Believe me, the experience with patients like that tells me that in 100% of cases they're pushing their loved ones away, thinking they'll save them from the pain. But that's the moment when they most need a friend. Can you deal with all this, Mr. Linares?"

Daniel swallowed the bile, beginning to accumulate in his mouth. He knew what followed so he stood up from the white sofa.

„Can you...can you tell me where the toilet is?" he asked.

For a few seconds, Dr. Rios was watching him and then he took him out of the office, pointing at the white door at the end of the corridor. Daniel walked quickly to the toilet, scared of throwing up then and there. He barged in through the door, leaning over the first toilet bowl and emptied the contents of his stomach. Everything Sofia's oncologist told him had caused a nausea strong. His esophagus was on fire from the lifting acid but the vomiting and cramps hadn't calmed down. At one point, he had fallen to his knees.

After a few minutes, his body finally calmed and Daniel leaned his head wearily on his hands, still remaining over the toilet bowl. He took deep breaths, trying to calm nausea. When the stomach cramping stopped, the man got up, slowly dragging himself to the sink. His hand leaned over the gray marble, surrounding the metal washbasin. He was looking at his reflection in the mirror, trying to recall the last time he was so pale. Daniel let the water run, washing his mouth. He tried to get rid of the bitter taste. It took him a few minutes to be completely assembled, then he took the chewing gum he had in the pocket of his jeans and decided to go back to Dr. Rios's office. The doctor was waiting for him.

„Are you okay?"

Daniel just nodded, sitting down again and looking straight at him.

„She didn't mention to me that her condition is so bad. You spoke as if at any moment...umm...as if..." he couldn't finish the sentence so the oncologist decided to save him from the pain.

„You have to be aware of the fact that Sofia is fighting a life-threatening illness. She wanted to protect you and that's understandable, but she isn't helping you. You have to be aware of everything because she isn't. Patient usually don't realize the severity of their condition, until the first effects of chemotherapy. Then it hits them hard. It kills them mentally. And psychological condition and optimism have almost the same influence as drugs."

Daniel nodded again, finally allowing the information to settle in his mind. He had to accept the reality.

„Umm...you mentioned the lung metastases?"

The doctor took off his glasses.

„Yes," he replied. „This is where we're starting. It's necessary to remove as many metastases as possible."

Daniel turned his gaze to the window, the sun shining through the glass. Although it was winter, it's was quite sunny and warm here in Naples. The tall man immediately thought about his dreary mood, which was contradictory to the weather.

„I'd love to see her and talk to her before you took her to the operating room," he said.

Dr. Rios nodded, then led him down the hallway, all the way to the elevator that took them to the fifth floor of the hospital. Soon, they stopped in front of the white door with the number 504.

„You can go in," the doctor said. „I'll come later."

Daniel thanked him, then knocked and pushed through the door. Sofia was lying on the bed, dressed in standard hospital suit, smiling softly at him. Her parents, Arnold and Zamira were sitting in armchairs, right beside her bed. Daniel didn't return the smile. He couldn't bear the fact that his otherwise cheerful and full of life girl would spend her time in the hospital bed, trapped with chemotherapy and needles that would try to extend her life.

„We'll come later before they take you to the OR," Zamira said, kissing her daughter's temple. Both parents left the room, sensing that the two of them had to talk. Daniel was waiting for the door to close before he said something.

„You haven't told me everything," he stated, not knowing how to feel. His eyes were watching the white, sterile walls. Everything in this room was just too sterile. After a few moments, his gaze finally fell on his girlfriend's face.

Sofia just sighed.

„I couldn't," she said.

Her response caused anger in Daniel.

„I deserved to know, Sofia!" he almost shouted. „I didn't know how aggressive the illness is, I didn't know you have metastases on your lungs, I didn't know you've chosen such an aggressive type of treatment, which nevertheless won't help you permanently unless you have a bone marrow transplant. I didn't know..."

„You think I want this?!" she yelled, her eyes filling with tears.

Sofia's sudden outburst stopped Daniel and the man fell silent, unable to move, as he watched his completely helpless girlfriend falling apart. The tears came to the surface and Sofia was now crying freely, trying to explain her feelings.

„You think I want to die?" she asked, now more quietly. „I don't want any of this, I don't want to spend my time in the hospital, barely aware of my surroundings while chemotherapy is making my life a living hell. If it's up to me, Dan, we'd be on the beach, with Brian, Marina and the rest of our friends, surfing and having fun without any worries in life. But it's not up to me. I have to stay here, go through torture and take drugs because this is the only way to prolong my life. The only way for me to...stay a little longer with you."

Daniel flew to Sofia's bed, pulling her into a tight hug. The Latina reproached immediately, leaning her head on his chest. The tears continued to fall down her face. She could no longer hold back her emotions. Daniel was struggling to breathe, one hand going through her sand-colored hair and the other softly rubbing her back, trying to comfort her.

„Don't cry, baby, please," he kept repeating, but it seemed like Sofia wasn't hearing him.

After a few minutes, he separated from her, looking into her red, puffy eyes. He softly stroked her cheek with his thumb, catching a few tears that had fallen.

„I'm so sorry for my outburst," he said. „I can't look at you when you're so sad."

Sofia let out a shaky breath, shrugging her shoulders weakly, as Daniel leaned his forehead on hers.

„I'm going to get tested. I want to give you my bone marrow. I'll turn the world around, do whatever it takes but I'll keep you here," he started. „You're not going anywhere, okay? I'll do everything...everything in my power. I can't imagine my life without you and I swear I'll do everything for you to stay with me."

Sofia swallowed a lump in her throat and put her hands around his neck, pulling him closer.

„You promise?" she asked quietly.

A light, barely visible smile appeared on his face.

„I promise," Daniel replied, then connected his lips with hers, hoping that at least in that way he would give her a little bit of comfort.

-

„I didn't keep my promise," Daniel said, now looking back at the open sea.

Nikki was still holding his hand with one hand, supporting him in this way, while the other was covering her mouth, hanging open in shock. She knew Daniel would tell her his sad story but what she heard wasn't just sad. It was heartbreaking.

„Things were just as Rios had previously explained to me. They failed to remove all metastases and started with chemo to reduce the malignant cells and try to slow further development of the leukemia. It didn't help. I got tested, but my we didn't match. It was like the whole world had turned against Sofia. She was slowly disappearing...falling down. Chemo was helping her to survive but, at the same time, it was destroying the healthy part of her body and her mental condition," he explained, as Nikki continued to listen. She realized that Daniel needed someone who would just listen to him, without sharing advice. „I think she knew from the very beginning that she'd never leave the hospital again. She...as the end was approaching, she became calmer, accepting that her time on Earth was over. She often laughed, joking about her condition, especially because she was aware that I couldn't stand this type of jokes. I'd immediately get angry. I fought, trying to contribute to her treatment, but..."

Daniel's voice broke again.

„You failed." Nikki finished the sentence for him, the man just nodding. She was right. Daniel didn't succeed. Despite his efforts, he couldn't do anything to save his girlfriend from dying. Leukemia had completely destroyed her body.

„I'm sorry," the woman said sincerely.

For the first time, Daniel turned her gaze to her brown eyes. He could see complete sincerity and was really grateful to her. He let out a soft and sad laugh.

„I guess it really is true when people say that it's easier to confide your secrets to someone you don't know as well as your friends," he said.

Nikki returned a light smile. It seemed like Daniel was finally calming down.

„Have you ever...umm...have you been with anyone else later?" she asked carefully, scared of causing an anxiety attack again but Daniel remained calm.

„I knew Sofia since we were kids," he replied. „We've been together since she turned fifteen. For six years. I was always convinced that I'd stay with her for the rest of my life. She's the only woman I've ever loved. But yeah, I've been with others. Shortly after her...umm...after she left, I started to go out a lot, especially at places where I could drink alcohol. I've had casual hookups with other women but no one stayed permanently. I still love only Sofia."

Nikki sighed quietly. Daniel just confirmed to her that he still hadn't gotten over his dead girlfriend. Not that she wasn't aware of it but it was a completely different story to hear it directly from him.

„The only way for me to sleep with someone is if I'm completely destroyed by alcohol," Daniel admitted. „In any other case, I just feel disgusted."

Nikki's palm gently rubbed his arm. Now she understood his bad behavior and desire to go out and drink. Drowning in alcohol was an escape from reality. The reality in which Sofia no longer existed.

„That's not healthy," she said, making Daniel laugh.

„I know but I can't help it. I still haven't accepted that she isn't here anymore. And I still consider her my girlfriend."

There was a complete silence for a next few minutes. The only sound that could be heard was the noise of waves, breaking against the shore. Nikki and Daniel were just looking far to the open sea. The ship that had been there before was nowhere to be seen.

„Thank you for listening," Daniel said suddenly. „I haven't talked to anyone else about all this."

„Not even with Brian or Marina? They both love you very much."

He shook his head. Brian and Marina were the last people on his list.

„They knew her too well. They know how great she was and I could never bear the look of pity, which people usually give in these situations. Especially from the two of them. We've been friends since the beginning."

Nikki accepted his answer. It seemed that Daniel wasn't liking to be considered as a weak person but today, he allowed his sad and painful feelings to emerge to the surface, in front of her. Nikki was witness to that.

„What makes me different?" she asked curiously.

„You haven't met her." he replied, looking straight to her eyes. „You don't know how Sofia was, so, I suppose it's easier for me to create an image of her the way I saw her."

She smiled. Daniel had really succeeded in doing so. He created a very positive picture of Sofia. She turned her gaze to her hands that were lurking in the wet sand beneath her. Daniel moved to get his backpack, placed on the lounger. He opened the front pocket and Nikki could see him pulling out some kind of a chain. But it wasn't just a chain. It was a chain with female's ring, hanging freely at the very end. Nikki's eyes widened.

„Several weeks before I found out about her illness, I bought a ring. I wanted to ask her to marry me." he said calmly. He was much calmer than before. „After she told me the truth, I've somewhat lost the courage. I simply didn't know how to ask her. Sofia had never found out about it. No one found out. I now wear it on this chain and it's always with me. This is something that was supposed to be hers. I feel better that way. Like I'm always carrying a part of her with me."

She needed a few seconds to pull herself together. Daniel had almost proposed to Sofia. After an initial shock, she was finally good enough to formulate a normal sentence, so she caught him for the hand compassionately again.

„I'm really sorry for your loss," she stated.

Daniel just smiled gratefully.

„Thank you. I really appreciate you sitting with me tonight to listen about my heartbreaking life stories," he replied with a slight smile on his face.

Nikki's heart warmed at Daniel's healthy way of dealing with pain. The man had fought for so long with himself and his dead girlfriend in a wrong way. She was now glad for pushing him to open up.

On the other hand, Nikki knew very well that from this day on, there was no turning back. His honest confession made her to finally admit the truth. Nikki was slowly but surely falling for Daniel. She was irreversibly and completely mesmerized by a man who was still suffering for his first love. She took a deep breath, looking over to the sea. She wondered how the hell she had gotten herself into this? How could she allow that her get-over-cheating-fiancé vacation turn into a finding a new crush?

Soon, she got up, shaking a sand that was all over her body. Daniel followed her. Nikki looked him in the eyes, smiling mildly. During this evening for several times, she had to refrain from embracing him.

„I have to go home. I promised my mom I'd be back before the night and the sun is almost gone." Daniel said, watching the sky. She nodded, then picked up her surfboard. Daniel greeted her, already heading toward the exit of the beach. Nikki was looking at him until he disappeared from her sight. She remembered his anxiety attack just an hour ago and now he seemed to be so calm. Daniel's unhealthy way of dealing with the fact that Sofia was no longer alive had a big influence on his mental state.

Nikki was walking slowly toward Brian's shop, rolling the dices in her head and creating a full story from all the information Daniel had previously told her. Within a few minutes, she found herself in front of a familiar door and opened them. Brian was behind the counter, with a pencil in his mouth, leaning over some papers. The scene brought a smile to her face.

„Is there any time of the day when you don't work? Or at least don't think about business?" she asked, putting the surfboard against the wall.

Brian looked up and immediately approached his friend, offering her a hug. Nikki didn't hesitate to go in his embrace.

„I have to. Diego left me alone and Dan was," Brian paused, looking at his watch. „If I'm not wrong, with you."

Before Nikki had managed to answer, the door opened shut and Marina came in, unannounced.

„Hey, you're both here," the Latina said.

Brian just squirmed nervously and Nikki smiled. Recently, the other man didn't feel comfortable in Marina's company, which was the result of arguing about their failed relationship.

„Yeah, do you need something from the store?" he asked.

Marina nodded.

„Actually," Nikki started to talk. „I need to talk to both of you. About something very important."

Brian and Marina looked at her with interest, while Nikki was turning her fingers nervously, not knowing where to start.

„A little more an hour ago, Daniel had told me everything about Sofia and her illness," she said.

Their eyes went wide.

„What?" Marina asked, surprised.

„Yeah," Nikki replied. „There is something else. I think...I think I'm falling for him."   

-

Author's note:

So, here you have it. Daniel's walls finally coming down. Nikki had managed to break through. I gave you a flashback in order to have a better insight into Daniel's relationship with Sofia. This is also a huge turning point in his relationship with Nikki.

I'll probably update next Tuesday. If you enjoyed this chapter, please don't forget to vote or comment. As always, I'd love to hear your opinions.

Stay true to yourself and have a nice day.