“Greyson,” Aubrie began to murmur to herself. She let her phone slip from her hand and then to the bed—-it bouncing a little up and down as it did. She ran her hands over her face and groaned. “...Dammit.”

      How the fuck did something like that slip my mind? That's my own son’s birthday for Satan’s sake!, her mind echoed, shaming her.

     “I'm slipping,” Aubrie murmured, prying her hands away from her face and letting them fall into anxious little semi fist shapes near the bottom of her ribs. “...Even the most important thing for me to remember, I can’t… I can't recall them.”

    She started to pace around anxiously once more before saying, “...I…–” She swallowed. “...has kiroiyaka really ruined me that much? …Am I destined to forget every other major thing?”

     Aubrie groaned again. “...I bet with my shitty luck that if Dylan ever marries that boyfriend of his, Mycah, I'll completely forget… I'll miss out on my brother's milestone… One of the most important ones.” She paused. “I'll have deserved the pain of it… I mean, I know I'm a pretty shitty sister…” She swallowed. “...but Dylan wouldn't deserve it.” Her mind slipped to Dylan and how she had distanced herself from him… Alongside her sister, Delta, as well as her mother… How she had distanced herself from Greyson… From Kara.

     Aubrie planted herself on the edge of the bed—-near the nightstand—-leaning forward with her elbows rooted right on her thighs, leg bouncing up and down, somewhat frantically. “...I’m at a damn impasse.” She inhaled, quickly. “...If I pull myself out of hermit city, I'm bound to accidentally hurt them in someway. …That's just who I am.” Aubrie wetted her lips. “...but if I don't, they'll be hurt too. They'll think I hate them or something… Which is far from the truth; the isolation is because I love them more than anything.”

     “It's a ‘damned if you do, damned if you don't’ type ordeal,” Aubrie muttered to herself. She paused—-the silence giving her a moment to think about her options and weigh them carefully—-constructing the complete list of pros and cons. “...maybe they won't even notice I've been gone from their lives. …Dylan was always the older twin… So, technically, I was the middle child. They forgot I existed quite often.”

     “...but still,” she murmured. “...Someone will notice surely? …Even if it's not Mom who does.” Aubrie’s voice dropped to the quietest it had ever been. “...If she did notice my absence… I'm pretty sure she was happy that I was gone. She didn't have to hear me whining and complaining.”

    Aubrie huffed. “It's probably better for everyone in the family that I disappeared. …Dylan and I bickered and fought too often… and Delta belittled me… Called me the ‘ugly sister'.” Aubrie sucked in a breath. “...but, hey… I shouldn't've taken her insults so seriously… I was always nine years older than her anyway… I shouldn't’ve let it get under my skin like that.”

    Aubrie let out a weak chuckle. “...Guess I'm kinda pathetic in that regard, huh? A sixth grader insults me and suddenly I'm all blubbery.” She looked up to the ceiling after shifting her head and body back. She put her hands behind her to support her physical stance. She studied the markings on the ceiling before exhaling and whispering, “...fucking hell.”

      Aubrie sat in silence for a little bit longer before standing. “...Alright, I'll… Do something for Greyson just this once.”

      Despite her words, she had already did something for Greyson during his first birthday—-she had bought him a plush duck that he adored.

     Aubrie took a moment to ponder what she'd do for Greyson. After all, she didn't exactly have a steady wave of income. She only had so much money to work with—-thanks to hopping from motel to motel. Payments towards doses of kiroiyaka hadn't helped her financial state either. She knew she'd eventually run out…

     Regardless of her lack of funds, that were rapidly depleting, doing something for Greyson’s second birthday was important to her. Despite the fact he was fully in Kara's custody now, Aubrie thought it was still her responsibility to do nice things for him. He was still her son no matter where he lived and who his guardian was.

      “Toys now today cost far too much,” Aubrie pondered. “...some of the most simple things are pushing sixty dollars and that's just something I can't do.” She sighed. “...It's needless to expect that much.” She rubbed her forehead for a moment, trying to think of some idea.

     Aubrie clicked her tongue to the roof of her mouth before saying to herself, “...I could write a check… Give it to Kara. That way she could buy whatever she thought was needed as a birthday gift to Greyson from me.”

     She held her breath for a moment, letting the idea float in the air for a second. “...yeah… A check should be fine. I'll give what I can and then keep some for myself. …just enough to get by.”

     Aubrie then, after another small moment of silence, reached for her bag on the table, fishing around. “...come on… Come on… Where is it?” She murmured to herself, still rummaging through her bag. She then moved to the next pocket of the bag to continue her search. Softly, she hummed as her fingers slipped around, trailing over clothes, snacks, and loose coins.

      “It's right…” She trailed off for a moment. “...here.” Her hands grasped the check book and pulled it out. She ran her fingers over the cover and flipped it open before quickly fishing around her bag for a pen—-she found plenty, but she ran into the same issue with each: no matter how much she scribbled with them, they made no marks. Aubrie sighed before going to use a stray pen she found in the motel room and began to fill it out.

    Soon enough, Aubrie signed it. It was only thirty dollars—-not a lot, but it was all she could really offer at that moment. It left her with ten dollars.

    Aubrie pulled the check out of the book, holding it right in her hands before her gaze drifted to the door and she slowly built up the courage to face Kara once more.