It's good to be back 😎

Warning: the start of the sequel isn't really happy so get a box of tissues

Happy Reading XX

t.m

✖️✖️✖️

Previously on Kill & Run...

"Harry!" she screamed, her terror-filled eyes locking with mine as the ledge started to crumble. "Harry, don't let go!" she yelled again, fingers fumbling to hold onto mine, but she was slipping away.

   "Scarlett!"

   "Harry!" she screeched once more before her fingers slipped from mine and she began to fall away quickly.

  I watched in horror as she fell rapidly, her screams of my name echoing throughout my ears. Her terror-filled dark eyes were locked with mine as her body quickly disappeared into the mist.

Scarlett had fallen to her death

~-~

H A R R Y 🔫

  The silence was deafening as I laid there on the edge of the cliff, still not being able to comprehend what had just happened. Then suddenly, all of it started replaying in my head again. Killing Andrei, and pushing him off a cliff. Scarlett falling off of the cliff. Scarlett.

  Don't let me go Harry! I heard her voice echoing in my ears, the same phrase repeating in my head again and again before I let out a loud shout.

   "Scarlett!" I cried, pushing myself to my feet, ready to jump off the edge and pretty much die with her.

   "Harry! No!" Damien yelled instantly, his strong arms grabbing my ones and tugging me back and away from the edge.

   "No Damien," I grunted, wildly shoving his face and wriggling against his hold. My knee hit his crotch and he went down with a groan, while I wriggled out of his grasp quickly and sprinted for the edge.

  But this time, Vlad caught me, and he was much stronger.

   "Harry don't fucking do anything stupid!" Vlad spoke in his loud gruff voice, wounding his arms tightly around my body as I protested and cried for Scarlett.

   "I need to save her!" I screamed, the tears finally pricking my eyes. "My baby is down there! I need to save her! Please Vlad please!"

   "Harry! Listen to me she's dead!" As soon as Vlad spoke his words I stopped struggling. Finally allowing it all to sink in. "She's gone Harry, I'm sorry."

   "She's dead," I whimpered to myself, everything registering slowly in my head. "S-Scarlett's dead." The words kept floating around in my head, getting louder and louder until it was deafening and I felt my hands clamping down on my ears as tears started to roll down my cheeks. It felt like everything was sucked into a vacuum, everyone was talking to me, but they sounded blurred out. Before I knew it, I was falling out of consciousness and into darkness.

~-~

My eyelids flickered open to the dim room. Except it wasn't a room. I was in the aircraft we used to get up to the cliff. The cliff. The one Scarlett fell off, all because of me. I closed my eyes again, praying this was all just a goddamn nightmare and that I was back home in bed with my baby lying next to me.

  My eyes fluttered shut again and I swallowed thickly, too afraid to face the reality of what had happened. I wished I could just sleep and never wake up again, because now that I was awake, there was no running away from the grief I was about to face.

   "Harry," I heard Jade whisper quietly, noticing that I was awake now. I rose up for my sleeping position, inhaling deeply as I ran a hand through my hair.

   "How long was I out for?" I asked, trying not to look at the other people whom were watching me curiously, perhaps worried of my reaction.

   "An hour or so," Jade shrugged lightly, her eyes tense searching for mine. "Do you remember what happened?" she asked with dread.

  Her words triggered something inside of me, releasing all the memories of the previous events that happened only a few hours ago. Scarlett falling off the cliff. Me trying to save her but failing, watching her terrified self disappear into the mist at the bottom of the cliff. It all came rushing back, hitting me like a freight truck.

  As much as I tried to hold it in, the pain came out like an uproar from my throat in the form of a silent scream. My eyes were suddenly wet with tears as I looked up with a sob and locked gazes with Jade. Her face held an expression of slight surprise, not expecting such a sudden reaction. But I couldn't help it. Scarlett was gone now, forever, and it was all my fault.

  I clamped my hand down on my mouth, trying to block out any more loud cries of mine. But now that I had let go of the pain, the tears and the crying was unstoppable. My muffled sobs wracked my body as I doubled over, my elbows digging into my thighs as I held my head in my hands and cried as hard as I could. There were people by my sides but I couldn't distinguish them, the world had turned into a blur at this moment, so did all the sounds.

   "Scarlett!" I sobbed hysterically, my fingers sliding into my curls and tugging harshly as if trying to distract myself from the vicious pain I was feeling.

  I felt someone wrap their arms around me, pulling me into a smaller body as I scrunched my eyes up and wept sorrowfully. I let the person hold me, and just cried. I cried as if the raw pain inside of me was too much to contain. I cried as if my spirit was desperate to break free from my skin. I cried as if the ferocity of it could bring Scarlett back, and oh if only it did.

  My crying eventually died and I fell into a heavy slumber due from the exhaustion from it. The next thing I know, I was on the private jet back to Las Vegas. I didn't want to wake up from my sleep and face reality again, so as soon as I did wake up, I took a sleeping pill and was knocked out cold until we landed.

~-~

  The side of my head was pressed against the car window as we drove down the streets of Las Vegas. The streetlamps illuminated the dark streets, casting an artificial glow onto the worn out roads. My dead eyes stared out the window, my mind utterly loud from the million thoughts running around. My bloodshot eyes fluttered shut as a small sigh left my lips. We were nearing The Organization. I was thinking about how the fuck was I gonna break the news to Scarlett's friends?

  After every mission we've gone on, Dexter and Louis were always there waiting for Scarlett's return, just to make sure she was okay. Now as we pulled into the underground parking lot of The Organization, and left the car, I felt my heart rate speed up due to panic and nervousness. What the fuck do I tell them? Honestly, I don't think I would have to tell them anything because just by the look on my face, they would be able to connect the dots.

  My heart was lodged up in my throat as we took the lift up to the warehouse. It was deadly silent in the lift, and I hated it because that meant I had to be alone with my thoughts. I was ripped away from my thoughts when someone nudged me. My eyes snapped towards the person next to me, noticing it was Jade.

   "Do you want me to?" She spoke quietly, before arching an eyebrow and widening her eyes slightly, trying to convey a message. I understood. She was asking me whether or not I wanted her to break the news to Louis and Dexter.

   "I-" I began to say before the doors flew open and we were greeted by a whole load of people.

  Everyone knew about the mission we went on, it was the topic that was the most talked about around in The Organization. Obviously, everyone expected us to return with God's Eye, Niall and Scarlett. Now, seeing this huge crowd of people with smiling people, I felt sick to my stomach. Half of them probably wouldn't care as much that Scarlett was gone, the others definitely would. Scarlett was an icon in The Organization. She actually lived up to her father's legacy and inspired many people.

   "Scarlett! Where the fuck are you?" An excited Louis came bounding towards us, a huge grin plastered on his face.

  From where I was standing, I could see Niall had made it back with Seth and Max. Dexter and Spencer were stood next to each other, eagerly waiting to see Scarlett. My heart dropped when I saw Spencer. He was the one who knew Scarlett the best out of all of us; he was the one that had been by her side for the longest.

   "Harry mate! Glad you're back safe," Louis greeted me with a warm embrace, barely glancing at my face as he threw his arms around my shoulders. "Where's Scarlett?" he asked me, his grin still intact.

  My throat was dry, my crimson threaded eyes averting to the ground. My lips parted to speak but the words wouldn't come out. Louis excited expression slowly faded away when he finally understood what was going on.

   "Oh no," he whispered all of a sudden, tears immediately swelling up in his eyes as he stepped back shakily. "No, she can't be-" he choked out a sob, sniffling. I simply nodded, feeling pain stab me in the gut as I pressed my lips together tightly.

   "Louis? What happened?" Dexter was now walking towards us, worry etched onto his face. He took one glance at Louis' already tear-stained cheeks and my pained expression before his jaw dropped.

   "Holy fuck," he gasped, his hand coming up to cover his mouth in shock when he realized what had happened to Scarlett. "What the fuck happened? Where is she?" he yelled at me all of a sudden, his dark eyes glistening with tears.

  I widened my eyes at his tone, taking a step back. Jade quickly stepped in between us, and spoke to Louis and Dexter. I saw Spencer moving towards Jade to catch what she was saying, his expression stoic before transforming into one full of anger instead of grief. My blood turned to ice when Spencer pushed Louis out of the way and marched towards me.

  I was caught completely off-guard when he swing his fist at my jaw powerfully. The impact of the punch sent me stumbling back, my vision was blurring and blood pooling in my mouth. I held my hand up weakly to stop him, but he shoved it away and pushed his hands against my chest again.

   "I trusted you!" he yelled loudly, swinging his fist at me again, catching my jaw. "And you just let her die!"

   "Spencer-" I choked on the blood from my injured inner cheek, my back meeting a wall.

   "You said you would protect her! Keep her safe! But now where is she? Huh? She's fucking dead and it's because of you," he continued to screech at me, as his fingers grasped the neckline of my shirt and pushed me back against the wall.

   "I'm sorry," I coughed, crimson staining my lips. I didn't know what to say, I was overwhelmed to say at least.

   "I'm sorry? Yeah you fucking should be! It's all your fault we'll never see her again. All your fucking-" Spencer couldn't continue more as he was suddenly ripped off of me by Vlad and Damien.

  He struggled wildly, screaming and kicking like a little child. But soon his struggling gradually decreased until he finally broke down. Pained cries left his lips as he fell to his knees and sobbed sorrowfully. A steady flow of tears were already streaming down my cheeks as I breathed heavily, thinking of what he said to me. It's all your fault.

  I glanced around the room, noticing some people crying, others with just tears in their eyes, and the rest just gaping in shock. Niall was sitting in a wheel chair, him too bawling his eyes out while Liam sympathetically patted his back, a couple of tears slipping from his kind brown eyes. I sucked in a breath shakily, feeling the pain hit me out of now where as the sorrowful cries echoed throughout my ears.

  It's all your fault Harry.

She's dead because of you.

You failed to protect her.

You broke your promise.

  Voices began murmuring in my head in a mocking tone, causing a painful sob to escape my lips. All eyes turned to me quickly, causing me to cover my mouth to stop the rest from coming out. Jade started to approach me with worried eyes, but I bolted. I sprinted out of the warehouse, rushing over to the apartment building. It was because of me Scarlett was dead. Just like Spencer told me, I said I would protect her.  I promised her. Yet I broke that promise. I failed her, and Spencer, and Dexter and Louis, and everyone else who loved her almost as much as I did. It was because of my failure I hurt everyone, including myself, and I can never forgive myself for that.

~-~

  I stared blankly at the gun on my bed. Fully loaded. Cool slivery metal glistening in the moonlight that shone from the window. I gulped, squeezing my eyes shut as I heard Spencer's words echoing in my ears again. Why didn't I just force her to go back to the helicopter? Why didn't I stick with her like I was supposed to? All types of questions floated around in my mind as I gripped the crisp white sheets with my fingers until my knuckles turned white.

  The guilt was gnawing the inside of my stomach like a hungry rat, leaving certain emptiness that could never be fulfilled. It had only been hours since her death, and I already wanted it to stop. The guilt. The pain. Everything. I just wanted it all to stop. As I stared at the gun on the bed blankly, I knew this wasn't the way to go and that I could move on from this if I tried. But I didn't want to. I could predict how hard and awful everything was going to be from now on, and I just didn't want to go through that.

  One of my hands let go of the sheet, gingerly running my fingers over the cool metal of the gun before wrapping them around the hilt. The back of my thighs met my calves as I leaned back, bringing the gun over the edge of the bed and cupping it with my other hand. My mind was loud with thoughts. Thoughts of Scarlett, mostly. Tears began to prick my eyes once again, rolling down my cheeks gently as I bit my lower lip until a little blood drawled out.

  Tightening my hold on the hilt, and sliding my thumb against the trigger, I held it up to my forehead all of a sudden, a pained sob leaving my lips. My other hand clamped the other side of the gun as I sat back on my knees and cried sorrowfully.

   "I'm sorry Scarlett," I whimpered, sniffling as I still held the gun up to the middle of my forehead. Just as I was about to pull the trigger, I heard the doorbell ring.

  It halted my movements, my eyes darting to the open bedroom door. It was too late. Jade was going to burst through the front door any second now and lose her head when she would see me with the gun. Just as I thought up this scenario, the sound of the door being unlocked filled the air before I heard footsteps. Jade's worried self bashed through the door, her blue eyes wide when she spotted the gun in my hands and the position I was sitting on.

   "Harry!"

  She came hurtling towards me, snatching the gun and tossing it to the other side of the room. I choked out a sob of sorrow and slight surprise when she dropped to her knees behind me and wrapped her arms around my torso. I cried. Cried harder than ever. It seems to be that every time I cried, it was worse than when I cried previously. She was muttering words of comfort into my ear as she hugged me, trying to ease me from the pain but it wasn't working. I was having a panic attack.

  I felt my breathing shorten as I gasped loudly, another pained cry leaving my lips as my ribcage lifted and fell rapidly.

   "Harry, breathe," Jade's arms loosened around me, grasping my arms gently to indicate that she wanted me to turn around.

  I shuffled around, sitting against the edge of my bed with my breath coming out uneven.

   "Breathe with me Harry. One, two, three," she counted before inhaling deeply with me following. A couple of tears slid out of my eyes when I was painfully reminded of how I used to comfort Scarlett after a panic attack.

   "I-I can't do this Jade," I cried softly, bringing my arms up to hug myself as I leaned back against the edge of the bed.

   "Yes you can. You can get through this. It's only been hours since-" she stopped herself shortly, swallowing thickly before sighing. "It'll take time, but you'll move on."

   "I don't want to move on, I'm scared I'll forget her," I said stupidly, babbling whatever came to mind first.

   "No you won't, don't worry about that. You've just gotta cope with her...death for now," Jade advised gently, rubbing my shoulder soothingly.

   "I-I don't know how," I muttered, dragging the back of my hands against my pale wet cheeks.

  "I'll help you Harry. I'll be right by your side through all of it, you can count on me," she promised, pulling me in for a warm embrace. I allowed it, resting my head on her shoulder as I exhaled heavily.

   "Thank you Jade," I whispered.

   "Of course Harry," she hushed me, before pulling back with a strict expression. "One thing though, I never want to see you doing something like that ever again," she spoke seriously, referencing to what I was about to do before she walked in.

   "Okay," I muttered. More like 'I'll try'.

   "Promise me," she said firmly. I sighed lightly before nodding.

   "I promise."

✖️✖️✖️

👽 how was the first chapter of the sequel??? I really tried to make Harry's reaction as realistic as possible, but TBH I don't know anything about losing a loved one, especially in the way Harry lost Scarlett.

👽 the first ten chapters won't be happy and fun, just warning ya 👀

But once we get past it, all the action will begin and plot twists will be revealed!!

I've missed y'all so much! Can't wait to interact with you and write for you beautiful people again 💖

Until we meet again...

t.m