Ben
January 1, 2005

*

Same day

*

What the fuck just happened?

I can only register two things as I hide Big Ben from all the extra eyes in the doorway.

One, Red is pissed.

Two, Kat is laughing... for some reason?

Now, why the hell is she pissed? The way she eyed my junk earlier, I thought she might try to castrate me.

What did I do to her?

Well, whatever it is, she can leave Big Ben out of it. I try to hide my smirk at Kat's nickname since this seems like an inappropriate time.

Okay, let's see...

Did I say something stupid last night? That seems like something I would do... but I barely talked to her and it's not like I was wasted.

"What the fuck is so fucking funny, Katarina?" Red's eyes bulge as she turns on her friend.

Kat just continues to laugh.

"This... This... man-whore..." She gestures towards me. "...is in here stealing your innocence while his idiot wingman is trying to distract me."

Say what now?

"Man-whore?" I get out the same time Kat speaks up. "Innocence?"

Kat looks at me and blushes, but her gaze sweeps back to her friend. "Vanessa, seriously. Nothing happened. Calm down, Mama Bear."

"Oh right. You are both just sitting in bed... naked for no reason." Red rolls her eyes. "Come on, Katie-bug, I'm a lot of things, but stupid isn't one of them."

"Well, not completely naked." Kat drops the blanket. "You can't have sex with your underwear on, right?"

I suck in a breath, suprised by her lack of modesty. "Jesus, Kat." I try to avert my gaze to the wall, but she's so damn sexy, my eyes keep wandering back to her.

Shit, I'm not sure Big Ben can handle much more...

"Come on, Ness. They are both adults, just leave them alone." Nate speaks from behind Red.

Kat's entire body turns bright red as she realizes she has an audience. She pulls the sheet back over her body and hides her face.

I'm conflicted. I'm thankful she's covered, but I also miss the amazing view.

I need to see her again.

Red turns on Nate. "And you! Don't even get me started on you." Her eyes narrow. "Trying to protect your wingman. You knew he would worm his way into her bed and you said nothing."

"Umm, this is his room, babe." He gives her a pointed look. It's nice to know he always has my back, even in this fucked up situation.

"So what?" Her face contorts with confusion as she tries to understand.

Sick of being spoken about as if I'm not here, I defend myself. "So, I didn't weasel myself anywhere."

Kat covers her face with her hands.

...And I immediately feel guilty for speaking up. I should just keep my mouth shut instead of stroking my own ego.

Even if she did crawl into my bed. I would gladly take all the blame to get another night with her.

"Yeah, right. She was drunk and passed out, how do I know you didn't just strip her down and put her in your bed?" Red is a determined little thing. I wonder how Nate's going to be able to handle her.

"I told you before, Ben wouldn't do that. If you want to keep accusing him of shit, you can leave!" Nate has my back.

Before Vanessa can react, Kat's meek voice comes out, as she lowers the blanket from her face. "Ness, he didn't." Her eyes dart to the floor. "He put me in the room next door."

Shit, is she ashamed... of being caught or of being with me?

"Oh..." Red's eyes widen as realization sets in. Is this really that weird for Kat?

"Why don't we give them a minute to get dressed?" Nate steps closer behind Vanessa as he slides his hands up and down her arms. "Come on, Babe."

"Uh..." Vanessa clears her throat. "Yeah, we're just gonna... go." Her eyes avoid me completely.

Once they have left the room, I'm not sure what to do. Honestly, I would like to finish what we started, but it's definitely not good timing.

Kat clears her throat. "I am so sorry about..." She waves her hands toward the door. "...all THAT."

"Uh... Yeah..." I can't help the laugh that escapes. "That was... weird."

She sighs and flops back on the bed, rubbing her hands over her face. The sheet doesn't go with her. "What a mess..."

"Uh huh..." I'm having a hard time staying focused with her body exposed again.

"Okay, we need a plan." She continues to assault her eyes.

"Uh huh..." I know I should be paying attention, but she's wearing see through underwear.

She moves her hands from her face and looks at me. "You aren't even listening, are you?"

"Uh huh..." Damn, she caught me off guard. "I mean... yeah. Totally."

She giggles, but hits my arm. "Focus, Ben!"

"Sorry, it's a little difficult." I gesture toward her body. Shit, what was I thinking? Now, she's going to cover up. Keep your mouth shut, stupid.

"Oops..." She looks down at her body and throws me an innocent look. "Is this distracting?"

Oh, she knows what she's doing.

I reach toward her, needing to feel her smooth skin... Just as a pillow hits me in the stomach.

"Hey now! You almost hit Big Ben." I grin as the blush takes over her face.

"Oh my god! Focus, Ben!" She throws the other pillow at my face.

"It would be easier if I wasn't being assaulted." I clutch both pillows in my lap so she can't use them to hit me anymore.

"Okay, I'm done beating you." I try to hide the smirk taking over my face.

"You are into some kinky shit." I would totally let her beat me, you know, if she was into that.

Actually... I would probably let her do anything she wanted.

"Wh-what? No... I'm not..." She looks shocked, but I can't tell if I am way off or if I cracked some secret.

Something flashes in her eyes, so I decide to press it. "Wait, are you really? I was just joking."

Her mouth pops open in disbelief. I should probably stop, but I also really want to know.

"What is it? Whips? Tied up? Foot fetish? Threesomes?" I'm not sure I like the thought of sharing her with anyone else...

Her eyes narrow. I seem to have pushed too far. Curiosity killed the cat, right?

"Oh come on... I will totally do it with you, if you just tell me." Maybe we can do some of my fantasies too, most of them involve her.

Her demeanor changes completely. "No." Her face stern, like when I first met her last night. "We need to get dressed and go out there and deal with this."

"Deal with... this?" I can't help but feel a little hurt. I thought we had something, even if it wouldn't last, but apparently not.

"Yes... this situation." She speaks slowly, as though I'm incapable of understanding.

"So, now we are a situation?" I shoot back, not hiding my offense.

"No Ben, there is no 'we'. This was all a huge drunken mistake." I'm not sure why, but those words sting somewhere deep within.

I feel like someone kicked me in the stomach. My chest physically hurts. What is wrong with me?

I didn't want a relationship or anything, but I wouldn't say it was a huge mistake.

"And this morning?" I ask bitterly. "How are you going to explain that away, Kat? We aren't drunk anymore." I try to unclench my jaw, but I can't.

"You know what I mean." She grabs her dress from the floor and pulls it over her head.

"Oh no, please enlighten me, Kat." It comes out through gritted teeth.

"You're mad?" She looks at me with complete confusion.

I glare at her, unsure what to say. Hell yes, I'm mad, but I can't explain why.

"I thought you did this kind of... thing. You know, like all the time." She looks embarrassed, but after she ripped out my heart a few minutes ago, I don't feel that bad.

Wait... Is that what she did? Did I really mean that? If she ripped out my heart... No, it's just a figure of speech.

"Not exactly..." I'm not sure how to respond.

"Oh... I'm sorry. I heard... things. I just assumed. Oh god. I'm so sorry." She makes her way to the door, placing her hand on the knob.

"No... Well... I mean... Yeah... But... No?" Shit. When did my brain stop working. I'm about to lose her and I can't even say something to make her stay.

"Please just forget any of this happened." She begs before turning to walk out the door.

"I don't want to forget." I whisper as she walks out of the room with my heart.