g w e n:

I sat on Calum's lap, my arms around his neck as we both gazed at each other. Whatever was lingering in his mind was eating him up inside and it hurt me to see him so stressed. Calum placed a loose strand of my hair behind my ear, leaning in to kiss me on the temple. His small gestures, paired with his exceedingly rapid beating heart made my own mind race with anxiety.

"Cal, you're making me nervous," I told him, "what do you have to tell me?"

Calum didn't answer me right away, instead taking my hand in his and placing it on top of the fading scar on his chest. With his hand on top of mine, I could feel his heart beating so fast I wondered if it were possible for it to explode.

"You feel that, don't you?" Calum asked, his voice shaking as each word fell from his mouth.

I nodded my head before looking Calum in the eyes, "your heart is--"

"Not my heart," Calum suddenly interrupted me with a whimper. He held onto my face with such vulnerability that it actually scared me. "This isn't my heart."

"What are you saying? This is your heart. I know your heart," I stated, patting onto the area where his heart lays beneath.

"No, you don't. You don't know my heart at all," Calum shook his head.

"But I do. Why are you saying this? I know your heart as if it were my own!" I insisted, my words spewing out of my mouth with frustration. I was confused and offended with Calum's declaration. I didn't know where all this was coming from, and it was hurting me more by the second.

"Gwen, I'm selfish," Calum began, standing up and forcing me to stand too, "I'm dangerous. I'm terrible and my heart is made up of all the bad in the world."

"Baby no!" I argued, grabbing onto Calum's arms and pulling him towards me, "you are gracious and kind and this," I paused, pointing at his heart, "is brimming with all the beauty I want to hold. I love you, and I love your heart."

My glossy eyes met Calum's, and it was then did I realize that there was a dark secret harboring in his soul. Whatever this secret was, clung onto his whole being without any sign of letting go. It was clear to me that this enigmatic piece of information was going to be as intense to the ears, as it felt in my bones.

"You don't love my heart," Calum started his head hung low, "you love Ryan's."

It was those words, laden with absolute and terrible pain, did my lungs cease to function. The breath was knocked right out of me, and when I took a step forward to hold Calum, he took a step back.

"Why would you say that?" My voice almost didn't exist, as it trembled passed my lips.

"I haven't been honest with you," Calum told me.

"Then be honest with me now," I plead. I took another step towards Calum, successfully this time, and reached over to rest a gentle touch on his cheek. I stood on the tips of my toes to give him a tender peck on the lips, reassuring him that things will be okay.

Calum sighed, letting out a whimper that was almost to painful to bare. He took my hand that rested upon his cheek and pulled it away, as if my touch were undeserving. He turned around, so his back faced me, rubbing his hair in frustration.

"I wanted to die," he began, his statement lacerating me like a tiny, hot knife. "I was drunk and thinking a lot. Mainly about Janet and about life. I just hated myself so much."

"Cal," I whispered, placing a hand on his back. Calum turned around, pushing my hand away.

"I was on my motorcycle beneath an overpass on July 6th at around 12:28AM," Calum continued, but as he went on with his story, did each word trigger a memory in my brain. And each memory ignited a haunting sensation that left my entire body numb.

"No..." I shook my head. I didn't want Calum to continue, not when I had this gut wrenching feeling churning in my stomach about a date I knew so well.

"Then two minutes later, I felt this strong gravitational pull, and I knew," Calum cried, his voice cracking, "baby I knew..."

"Don't you dare say it," I felt hot tears trickle from my eyes as I bit my bottom lip as hard as I could.

"...so I revved up my motorcycle, drove straight for a pair of headlights, and closed my eyes," Calum weeped, gazing at me with glassy, bloodshot eyes.

"You didn't," I breathed, rubbing my temples, "God, you didn't Calum."

"I did baby girl and I'm sorry," Calum took a stride in my direction, pulling me into his arms to hold me. "I caused that accident Ryan died in, that Evan's dad died in, that you were in. It haunts me every time I look at you and I'm just so, so sorry."

I sobbed into my hands, shaking my head in disbelief. I was drowning in emotion, caught in a severe storm with no end in sight. I didn't know what to feel, or how to feel. I wasn't sure if I was angry at Calum for wanting to end his life, or angry that he was the reason why Ryan was no longer in my life. My feelings were in a whirlwind of absolute pandemonium and my body didn't know how to react but in tears.

"Gwen," Calum softly said my name, holding onto my wrists and giving it a gentle tug. He hooked a finger beneath my chin, lifting it up so his eyes and mine could lock, "I'm sorry love. I'm so sorry."

"Th-that's how y-you g-got this," I stammered, trailing a thumb across the scar on Calum's chest.

"Not exactly," Calum swallowed the lump in his throat, "princess, I'm sorry for lying to you."

There was more to Calum's story than what was already said. I could feel it coming, and my muscles tightened in anxiety as I waited for what was to come.

"How'd you get that scar?" I asked him.

"My ribs cracked and punctured my heart. There was a young man in the O.R. next to mine who was a declared organ donor. He was pronounced dead but had a healthy heart..."

"No, no, no..." I wailed, desperate for the words to stop. I didn't want to hear it because hearing it only confirmed a reality I refused to believe.

"Gwen," Calum placed a hand atop his scar, "I have Ryan's--"

"No!" I shrieked, interrupting his declaration, "no, don't say it! You knew all this time, and you said nothing. I opened up to you about this ages ago, and you chose to say nothing? Calum how could you? I've been racking my brains over all of this and this whole entire time--"

"Baby! I'm sorry!" Calum wailed, taking my hands but I shoved him away. "Please forgive me. I love you. I'm sorry."

I turned my back on the boy I thought I trusted, overwhelmed by all this information. I grasped the door knob, turning it and stepping out of the bathroom. Calum continued to yell after me as I ran down the hall. Mrs. Hood peeped her head out of her bedroom door, and with sleepy eyes gazed at me in confusion. I suddenly felt guilty for waking up the poor woman but instead of apologizing, I concentrated on the staircase before me.

"Gwen! Please talk to me!" Calum's pleas rang in my ears as I ran out his front door.

With my hands digging into my pocket for my phone, tears continued to profusely plummet down my face with ache. I needed to get out - and I didn't mean Calum's home; I meant Sydney, Australia altogether. I wanted to go home, back to San Diego where I truly belonged. I stayed in Sydney, wanting to look for the person who had Ryan's heart, and this whole entire time the answer was right beneath my nose.

I trusted Calum whole heartedly, loved him with everything in me and yet he had the audacity to keep such a huge secret away from me. Maybe that's why I kept falling into Calum's gravity even though it was so wrong - because I kept falling into Ryan's instead.

"Gwen!"

I turned my attention to the echo of my name. I found Charlie sitting in her car, the windows rolled down. Dara sat in the passenger seat, her warm eyes staring at me with worry. Without a word, I ran over to the car, opening the back door and sliding inside.

"What's going on? Why are you crying?" Charlie questioned, concern laden in her expression.

"Just take me home, please," I whimpered in the back seat, not having the strength to speak anymore.

Charlie understood my needs, only nodding her head in response before driving down the street. As we sped passed Calum's home, I noticed him standing outside of his front door. Though the images in front of me were motion blurred, his deep, brown eyes were the only things crisp and clear. I felt his pain and mine connect, but when I broke eye contact, it was like disconnecting us altogether.

Charlie drove me back to the Hemmings household in silence. I bid her a goodbye and promised to explain later. When I entered the warm home, I hurriedly went up the stairs towards the room I called mine for the last few months. Inside, I grabbed my suitcase from the closet and began to pack the majority of my things.

It was time to say goodbye to Australia. I could finish up my Senior year in my old high school with the friends I missed dearly. I could drive the family car, go to the movies with my mom, and go to the beach on the weekends. I could have my old life again - the life I knew before I met Calum. A life where I could let go of Ryan, let go of the daunting past, and be happy with myself.

I left a neatly folded up note inside of a light blue envelope placed at the center of the empty desk. The Hemmings would find it the following day, and by then I'd already be on a plane back to the U.S. It was selfish yes, to leave without saying goodbye, but goodbyes were hard and I was terrible at them.

"Where you headed?"

No more than thirty minutes later did I find myself at the back of a cab on the way to the airport. I clutched onto my phone, staring down at my lock screen - a beautiful photo of Calum and I staring back at me. We looked so happy, so full of love and innocence. Sydney brought hundreds of special moments to savor for a lifetime, but the one beautiful thing the city brought to me was Calum, and letting him go would be the most painful thing I'd ever have endure.

"Ma'am?"

I snapped out of my daze, "I'm sorry."

"Where you headed?" The driver asked again.

"The airport, please," I answered with a subtle grin, before dropping my gaze to the phone in my hand and deleting the photograph of Calum and I.

The driver nodded his head, pulling away from the curb and taking me away from the Hemmings home. I sighed, hoping peace would overcome my mind, and for a moment I thought it was coming. But I couldn't be anymore wrong. It felt normal the way the car moved against the natural bumps of the asphalt, and the low hum of some pop song playing through the speakers. It was a calm evening, but it was the kind of calmness that came right before a hellish storm.

BANG.

It was clean. Straight through the window and into the skull of the cab driver. We never saw the bullet coming, and when the shiny death pellet penetrated the driver's head, blood oozing from the crack, did I know something was terribly wrong. I screamed at the top of my lungs as the car swayed in chaos through the streets before hitting a street pole.

I thought I was dead. My head hurt like it had been hit by a train, and the bones in my body rattled with sharp pain. As I lied sprawled across the back seat of the cab, I could hear movement and voices surrounding me.

"God?" I thought. But it wasn't God. It was the Devil instead.

The door opened and before I knew it, my body was being pulled out with great force. Evil cackling filled my ears and the strong, pungent scent of whiskey surrounded me. As I drifted in and out of consciousness, I could hear a conversation of voices I didn't recognize.

"You sure that's her?"

"Positive,"

"If you're wrong, Fiora will kill us all,"

"No, he'll just kill the Hemmings kid,"

//

One of my favorite chapters to write even though it's so sad and leaves you all with a cliffhanger. Did you like this chapter? Let me know! I'll try to update more soon, as this story is coming to a close. About 5ish more chapters left till RUN BABY RUN is completed!

Thank you again for reading this story, recommending it to friends, for voting, and for commenting! It makes my day knowing that people continue to read this story and constantly want updates. Thank you all so much!!!