g w e n:

I was sick of homework. I was tired of researching, translating French sentences, and studying for math. It was overwhelming, boring and to be honest, all I wanted to do was drink a big cup of hot cocoa and watch Disney films to make me feel happy. The week was passing by horrendously slow that when Wednesday evening rolled around, I felt like I had grown a beard.

I hadn't seen Calum at school and I grew worried. He also wasn't answering my texts and when he did, they were vague and during ungodly hours of the very early mornings. I also hadn't spoken to Luke since that evening at the docks. Funny how someone I was so close to; someone I considered a brother could end up being someone I didn't really know at all. I'd see him in class but we didn't talk. He would catch rides to school with friends and eat his dinner faster than the rest of us could have our second bite. But I did have something to ask him because tomorrow was a big day.

Ashton's funeral.

That's why I didn't mind so much that Calum was missing school-- I know he's hurting. But I didn't like that he was trying to shut me out. I'm hear for him and he knows that I'm here to listen if he needed to talk. He's bottling up feelings and knowing Calum, he's waiting for the perfect time to blow up.

I knocked on Luke's door, anxiously waiting for him to answer. The sound of ruffling carpet trickled into my ears and the shadows creeping through the door on the crack let me know that my anxiety would continue to flourish instead of dissipate. The door handle turned and the door slowly swung open, revealing a very tired looking Luke.

"Hey," I said, immediately looking down to the floor. I noticed that he was still in his school uniform minus the blazer. His red tie was loose and his normally ironed shirt was untucked. He looked more disheveled than how a teenaged boy should be.

"Do you wanna come in?" Luke asked and I lifted my gaze off of the oh-so sexy carpet, and to the blue eyes I was fond of.

I nodded my head in response and Luke opened the door wider for me to walk through. He closed the door behind him, sauntering passed me to sit back down on his desk chair.

"Gwen, you can sit," Luke chuckled, and I just about crapped my purple pajama pants. I wasn't expecting him to actually laugh. Wasn't he mad at me?

"Are you mad at me?" I asked, taking a seat on the edge of his bed.

"No," he answered and I sighed of relief. "I was at first because I hate douchepants Hood but after giving myself space for a few days I had time to think."

"What have you been thinking about?" I asked him, curious about the way his mind was working.

"Everything," Luke's answer was vague and I only hoped he would elaborate. "I just-- I'm sorry Gwen, for lying to you about where I was going. Some nights I was just partying with friends but most times I wasn't."

"Why are you even part of such a shady business? Luke do you not see where you live? You've got everything you ever need," I explained to him, gesturing for the expensive electronic items in his room.

"I know, I know. I didn't get into it for the money," he said. I saw that his breathing was beginning to get heavy, like something was constricting his chest.

"Luke? Are you alright?"

He didn't speak, instead he lifted an index finger in my direction before opening the top drawer in his desk. He pulled out a black inhaler, shaking the gizmo before supplying his lungs with the medication.

"You have asthma?!" I exclaimed, standing up from the bed to approach him. I had no idea that Luke had a breathing problem; he never showed any kind of sign and not once did I see him bust out an inhaler.

"I haven't had an asthma attack since I was young but I had another one recently," Luke disclosed, his eyes closed as he slowly regained full control of his breathing again.

"How recent?" I questioned.

"Last Saturday. After the incident on the docks," he reluctantly told me. "After you left with Calum I started freaking out. It was scary because no matter how hard I tried to breath, nothing I could do would work. That's when I remembered that I had one of these," Luke paused to hold up the inhaler, "in my medicine cabinet."

"Luke, I'm sorry. If I knew you'd freak out to the point of not breathing, I would've gone home with you," I hastily expressed, frowning from the guilt I was beginning to feel.

"Gweneth, don't apologize," Luke finally smiled again, "it's not like you knew. Hell, I didn't even know. I carry my inhaler with me everywhere I go now."

"Just, try not to freak out so much," I told him, Luke nodding and laughing in response. "So, will you tell me why you're in this business?"

"I was doing it for free in exchange for a favor,"

"What kind of favor?"

"Protection," he professed. He looked away from me, licking hips before biting his bottom lip. I tried to read him but all I could see was regret and guilt painted on his face and I didn't know why.

"Protection for whom? For you?" I guessed. I kneeled down in front of Luke, grabbing his face and forcing him to look at me. He gazed down at me with sorrow in his eyes and I could've sworn he was going to cry.

Luke shook his head, "it was protection for Janet."

"Janet?"

"She was one of my best friends and the moment she started dating Calum, she started to change. I just wanted to make sure she was safe," Luke explained, and I could hear the pain laced with every word he spoke. "Gwen, this is why I don't want you to spend so much time with him. I know I've lost your trust a little but please, you need to stop being on his side. It's dangerous."

"Luke, I still trust you," I revealed, earning a subtle smile and sigh of relief from him, "but I also trust Calum."

Luke groaned, rolling his eyes and slamming his hand against his desk. He wasn't very happy with my statement but I wasn't going to lie about it.

"Gwen, you're making a mistake! You know what happened to Janet," Luke mentioned, and I could tell by the sudden darkness in his normally radiant blue eyes that he was insinuating the worse.

"It's not like Calum was the one who physically put Janet's car in jeopardy," I defended. Luke scoffed at my attempt to

"No, he didn't, but Gwen, that accident wasn't an accident," Luke professed.

I gasped, eyeing Luke with both wonder and fear. Everything about his statement was enough to spark curiosity within me because there was no possibility that Calum had anything to do with Janet's accident. But according to Luke's insinuation, he did.

I opened my mouth to quickly ask a slew of questions but the moment was thwarted by a sudden knock on the door. Both Luke and I snapped our attention to the wooden, white plank that barricaded us from whomever was on the otherwise.

"Luke?" The door creaked opened and Mrs. Hemmings' head popped in, smiling as soon as her eyes met mine. "Oh Gwen, I didn't know you were in here."

"Yea, just talking about stuff," I told her. Mrs. Hemmings strolled into the room and I could tell that she wanted to say something but couldn't find the words to string together.

"Did you need something mum?" Luke asked.

"Are you going to Ashton Irwin's funeral tomorrow?" She asked-- a questioned I wasn't expecting at all. I didn't even think she knew who Ashton was apart from whatever they printed in the paper's obituary section.

"I am," I answered. "He was the older brother to one of the girls I counsel at the center."

"Oh dear, I'm really sorry to hear that," Mrs. Hemmings gave me a look laced with pure sympathy as she rested a hand to her heart. She then switched to look at her son, "Luke, I think you should go too. We'll all go. I'd like to give Anne Irwin my condolences."

"You know his mum?" Luke was just as surprised as I was.

"Yes honey. We used to be in the same book club. Now, the service is at noon so let's leave tomorrow at 11," Mrs. Hemmings gave us one last smile before bidding us a goodnight.

"I think I'm gonna sleep too," Luke muttered, standing up from his chair.

"Wait, why do you think Janet's accident wasn't an accident," I questioned.

"There's so much you don't know; so much I'm still trying to figure out too. There's so many things that need answers and those answers are with a boy who will be beneath 6 feet of dirt tomorrow afternoon,"

//

Black was never my color.

Slimming, classic, and represented a plethora feelings, black was one of those colors that most people admired. While I normally chose colors that reminded me of happiness, today was the only exception to that rule.

I looked over myself in the bathroom mirror of the funeral home, fixing the low ponytail at the nape of my neck and the bangs that swept to the side. The black dress that clung to my waist and tapered out, falling just above my knees was new and would only be worn just this once. I walked out of the bathroom and joined the rest of the guests who came to honor Ashton. His family, old friends and previous classmates from Mesa Vale mingled in the lobby before taking their seats in the church. But there was still one person missing that should be here.

Calum.

I searched for the tall, tanned, tattooed boy that I was helplessly falling for each day. I stood at the top of my toes, trying to catch glimpse of him but he was no where to be seen. I did however, see a head of lilac hair in the corner and immediately I walked over to him.

"Michael?" I gazed up at him and he looked like the rest of the people here: crimson eyes and brimming with sorrow.

"Hey, Gwen," he breathed, pushing himself off of the wall he was leaning against and pulled me into a hug. Michael and I never interacted before; never speaking a word to each other, even at school. But despite our lack of social interaction, his warm hug seemed to be more genuine than anything else today.

"How you holding up?" I asked him, though I already knew his answer.

Michael shrugged, "I try to stay distracted so I don't think about it, but you know... I loved the asshole. He was my best friend."

His voice cracked and so did a part of me. I watched him as a solitary tear dribbled down his cheek and he wiped it away with the back of his hand.

"Have you seen Calum?" I asked and he shook his head. I pouted in disappointment.

"Gwen?" I turned around to see a snazzy looking Luke, standing in all black.

"We're going into the church now," he informed and I nodded.

"Go in and save me a spot, I'll be there in a moment," I told him. Luke smiled in response, turning around to proceed through the double doors. I spotted Charlie off to the side with red eyes who suddenly linked an arm with Luke's and the duo sauntered in.

I left Michael to talk to some people from school and walked through the mass of people, exiting the building, and into the warm sun. I slipped my fingers into the small pocket of my purse to pull out my phone. I dialed Calum's number, pressing the phone to my ear and bouncing on the balls of my feet.

"Come on Cal," I breathed to myself. I wondered where he was. Was he caught in traffic? Did he not wake up in time? I kept calling Calum, even shooting him a few texts but I had no luck.

I was confused, baffled by Calum's absence. I sincerely thought he was going to be here; Ashton was his best friend after all.

I returned back into the church, finding Luke, Mrs. Hemmings and Charlie sitting in a middle pew. At the very front of the room, on top of a raised platform, was a glossy white coffin. A ring of beautiful flowers sat on top as other flower arrangements decorated the area. A huge photograph of a handsome, dimpled boy with hazel eyes sat inside a frame on an easel and I felt my chest rise and fall with utter dismay.

Ashton Irwin would surely be missed. Despite the shady business he was in, he was still a person with family, friends, goals and hobbies. And it thoroughly sucked to know that those precious hazel eyes would never open again.

The church was full and I was glad I asked Luke to save me a spot. I approached my group, sliding into the empty space next to Charlie and the edge of the pew.

"How are you?" Charlie asked, her bloodshot eyes and puffy cheeks told me that she had been crying.

"I should ask you the same thing," I whispered to her, throwing an arm around her shoulder, rubbing it with care. She rested her head on my shoulder, as another round of tears escaped her eyes. "Were you and Ashton close?"

"He was my ex-boyfriend and God did I love him," Charlie disclosed through sniffles, and immediately I pulled her into a tighter embrace.

The service took no longer than 40 minutes. The priest spoke in addition to several family members-- my heart cracking the moment my eyes landed on Lauren who was alive but seemed to be kissed by death. She looked gaunt with hallowed cheekbones, sunken eyes and pale skin. She was only able to get out approximately 6 words before she broke down before us all.

"I wish it were me instead..."

//

A bit of a sad update today. I never want to imagine any of the boys in a coffin again; I thought I was going to bawl my eyeballs out writing this chapter. Poor Ashton :(

Anyway, I hope you all are enjoying this story so far! Things will pick up and when they do AJKAKSJEHSJ because I tweaked some things about the future of the the plot and I'm quite pleased with what I came up with.

Thanks again for reading my story! Please don't forget to VOTE, COMMENT and SHARE with all your friends! Love ya all super much! :)