WARNING:

DO NOT PROCEED IF YOU HAVEN'T READ RUN FOR YOUR LIFE. THIS STORY (RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN) IS THE SECOND BOOK OF RFYL.

YOU'VE BEEN WARNED.

Epistle

Pentagon's letter to Coco
(this is the content of Gon's handwritten letter to Coco that was found at Coco's underwear drawer along with the memory chip for AndE and handwritten techniques/tutorials for playing chess)

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To Coco,

If you're reading this letter, I could be at any of the following places:

1. Somewhere looking at this void world, trying to figure out what just happened because my mind is totally deteriorated, with these chips and away from all of you or;

2. At the heavens, donating my handsomeness so that the gods will forgive me for killing myself.

I may look happy and smiling at all times but it was all a practiced facade. Behind every smile is a knife directly stabbed on my body. They say everything in the world dies except memories. In my case, yes it didn't die but it was lost. No matter how much I tried to do everything to keep it intact, I just can't. And it's a very sad moment for me.

Hindi ko alam kung paano ko nakuha ang sakit ko but damn, is this a punishment for my bad attitude before? I was a bully. I hurt people with the most powerful weapon- words. I boasted a lot. I abused my power as an elite until one day, I found myself incomplete. I forgot the memories at tanging mga masasamang alaala na lamang ang naiwan sa akin. See? This is really a punishment. A cruel punishment.

But this punishment somehow made me a better person. I began seeing things at a different perspective. The world doesn't revolve around me. I become aware of the imbalance in this world. Nagsimula akong mag-isip ng mga katanungan na sa tingin ko ay walang taong makakasagot.

Bakit may mayaman at may mahirap? Bakit may nang-aapi at may naaapi? Bakit hindi pantay ang pakikitungo sa lahat? Bakit tayo nasasaktan? Bakit kailangang magkaroon ako ng ganitong sakit? I have a lot of questions that I cannot remember anymore.

For the past years, I watched myself slowly eroded as time goes by. I tried to isolate myself from others, and damn, that was a bad move. The gap caused by the lost memories was filled with inexistent bullshits that swallowed me up everyday. Negativity hugged me and anxiety has become my companion.

Until I stepped inside an old dusty classroom with seven people. One of them was expressing her hate towards the system and of course, the name Grande.

I was suddenly slapped with the fact that there were people who has the will to fight for their rights. That there are positive people even if they sat in an old dusty chairs inside an almost fully-depreciated building. That I still have Triangle, Trench, Mom and Tita- that was what I failed to see before.

I realized that even if I was swallowed by my foe named depression, there were miracles. I realized that for all the memories I lost, there were still people left. That the good memories I had with them were lost in my mind but always remain in my heart.

Okay that was too long for an introduction so let me proceed to my objective in writing this letter (alam kong alam mo na tamad ako magsulat kahit sa exams, I usually draw an elongated oval with circles on both lower sides but you can't understand what I'm trying to say by that so I have to write it down)

Call this a favor, an order or anything you want. I have a list of people that I wanted to talk to or just do something for them but I always forget. Some memories are forgotten but I have few things listed in my journal so I was able to come up with some actions to be taken for the following people:

I. District 9 dorm occupants
A. The girls
a1. Suri - Hindi ko man lamang nagawang magpasalamat sa kanya, so please do it for me. Suri is our mother at dorm. I don't know if you know this but every night, she checks on us in our room to see if we're there. Kapag hindi maayos ang kumot natin ay inaayos niya (I know because I always pretend to sleep if she comes- that's what my journal says). She make sure we eat on time and those little actions mean a lot to me (and also the houseparent, please thank her)

a2. Iris - I'm thankful for her existence. Her presence bring out positive vibes because she's full of love by the people around her (specially her grandma) so do thank her for me

a3. Margo - tell her she's special in her way. She's this foul-mouthed girl who's full of insecurities to herself. Among all of us, siya yata ang pinakamababa ang tingin sa sarili niya. Pakiramdam niya ay nabuhay lamang siya para maging walang silbi. Please tell her it's not true

B. The BOYS
B1. 3 Idiots
b1. Jeff - if Suri's the mother, Jeff is the father and please extend my gratitude and salute to him. He's fearless, biruin mo he bravely fight for his love for Suri despite the society's disapproval and that is very brave

b2. Drix- please treat him for some drinks. He told me one time that one of his biggest dreams is to get drunk. Dahil sa kanya, nagkaroon ako ng mga realisasyon gaya ng hindi dapat minamaliit ang mga pangarap ng kahit sino kahit gaano kaliit iyon. I was hit in the face with the reality that there were people who dreamed for things that I always took for granted.

b3. To yourself, Conrado Connor Masin- please slap yourself hard in front of the big mirror in our room at sabihin mo sa sarili mo na napakatalino mo! Coco, you're a gem! You are so much capable of a lot of things pero tangna mo, bobo mo minsan. Ang liit ng tingin mo sa sarili mo. You always let fear take over! Please lang, sampalin mo nang malakas ang sarili mo! Mga isandaang beses!

II. TEAM PURA
(I know you'll hate the name but that's how I want to call it)

A. Megan - Please treat her with a lot of alocohol. Nilibre niya ako sa inuman dati at hindi ko pa siya nalilibre so do it for me. Pakisabi rin sa kanya na hindi niya kasalanan ang kasalanan ng mga magulang niya and that I already forgave her regarding the secret she told me. (You know she's drunk if she asks you to tell a secret if you refuse to drink- and if you reach that stage of drunk Megan, please keep her secrets to yourself)

B. Sunny - please give my kitten some catnip (kidding) Haay, paano ko ba sisimulan 'to? Napakarami ng hihingin kong pabor sayo na para sa kanya. You know that she/she's:

1. always lags at simple lessons at school at minsan walang common sense
2. impulsive and she always talks back
3. lazy
4. reklamador!
5. madamot! (isang hiwa lang ng karne pinagdadamot pa!)
6. warfreak (sinalakay niya si twin bro at sinapak ng lechon!)
7. tanga (madalas! nakakainis nga eh!)
8. di marunong magfilter ng bunganga!
9. nakabukaka siya minsan matulog! (gago, parang di babae!)
10. tangna, tama na negative, semi-negative naman
11. brave
12. innovative
13. cares for people
14. too kind
15. uto-uto
16. wants to change this world into a better one
17. ayokona magsulat pa, shit daming kapuna-punang hindi maganda sa kanya!

I want you to tell her things she should learn, try to tame (at nang hindi mangalmot), train her to see things positively (wag puro reklamo!), stay by her side in times of madness and crisis, don't save her (help her as she saves herself), talk to her, make her happy, talk to her about animals (she loves them), make her smile, don't let her down and do simple things for her like stroking her hair and tell her she's doing great. I know it's not a problem because I think two people will surely do those things for her but the more, the merrier!

She's the most important girl to my life next to mom and my tita. She's my bestfriend. She's so not likeable sometimes but I love how she's grounded to her truth. She's so precious. She's fierce, she cares a lot. She's unrelenting. She's loud but she's adorable. She's always cautious on who to trust, she knows when you're trustworthy and is also the definition of that word. She's far from perfect but real than most people. So please, take care of her.

C. Boy Mariano - tell him he's the person I look up to. Siya yata ang role model ko. He's quiet and calm (someone I am not). He's smart and responsible. Please hug him for me and tell him he did well. Boy Mariano is the good boy seeking for appreciation in everything he does so please appreciate him. If he's able to shoot his crumpled paper properly inside a trashbin na isang metro ang layo, tell him he did well. Celebrate everything he achieves no matter how small it is. And please tell him to take care himself first before any other.

D. Twin bro- he's my everything, tangna siya yata true love ko (who says true love can only be found in some prince/princess from a far away land? shit mahal na mahal ko siya) Siya ang pinaka-importanteng tao sa mundo but he's misunderstood

People perceived him wrong. I want you to look closely at him and see the person he is behind those piercings and everything. You'll see he's a cute little lost puppy, searching for someone to take him in, love him as he is and to share his ups and downs with. He loves apple so much so please give him an apple everyday.

He loves listening to sentimental music so please bear with him if he wants to play it especially if the moment is inappropriate. (damn, he played a sad sentimental music last christmas for the whole day!)

Please tell him I'm sorry for not supporting him when he said that Dad didn't die because he went to Tussah. Akala niya ay hindi ko maalala ang bagay na iyon, but shit, I forgot all my memories with Dad except the memories of that day! It fucking haunts me but who would believe me if I say I saw him got mugged by people that I can't even remember the faces?

Please tell him I'm sorry because I was a bad brother to him. Please tell him I'm sorry because I'm the most useless brother na hindi man lamang maalala ang kaarawan namin, hindi ko man lang maalalang bigyan siya ng regalo sa bawat okasyon o kahit walang okasyon. Please tell him I'm sorry for forgetting our childhood memories. Please tell him I'm sorry if I forgot who is his favorite superhero, what is his favorite color, what is his favorite book. Please tell him I'm sorry for always giving mom a headache. Please tell him I'm sorry that I cannot be there, physically for him for all his triumphs and defeat.

Sabihin mo sa kanya na wala akong intensyon na magpakabayani para kilalanin. I just want him to survive because damn, Triangle deserves every best thing in this world so he needs to live. I thought this over and over and I come up with the decision that one must go- and that's me because all of you deserves to live longer. There's no other way to get rid of these things and guess who made this? It's me. I designed this most advanced integrated circuit five years ago so let me take responsibilities. How did I know? My journal told me so. I patented it and it was used by the Capital. Hindi ko naisip na ang gawa ko pa ang maglalagay sa atin sa sitwasyon na wala tayong kawala.

So I have to say goodbye. I was waiting for the right time to tell you about this letter (at iyon ay kapag natanggal ko na ang chips, I'm afraid the situation is that you're sleeping peacefully in your bed as I removed those) and hopefully, I made the decision at the right time (damn, ang hirap magsulat ng liham na iniisip mong patay ka na sa mga sandaling babasahin na'to ng pagbibigyan mo)
I don't know how and when will I die but I will never regret this.

For everyone:

Always keep your memories of me even if I cannot keep my memories of you.

Thank you for being part of my life. I will come back as the wind. You can't see me but you know I'm here and even stronger if there's a storm. I will be with you in any moment.

This maybe the most painful word but I need to write this... Goodbye.

Love,
Gon

Thank you twitter user @ooohsum for the graphics ❤