Chapter 34: Ugly Inside

“Kitten, what do you think is the reason bakit maraming babaeng nawawala? Kitten? Hoy Kitten!”

Kung hindi ako kinalabit ni Gon ay hindi ko siya napansin. Nakaharap siya sa kanyang laptop at tila may pinagkakaabalahan.

“Anong sabi mo?”

He stared at me like he’s trying to read what’s making me spaced out. “Sabihin mo nga sa akin kung ano ba talaga ang nangyari. Kagabi ka pa ganyan eh, sabi ni Coco umiiyak ka raw. Ano na naman ang nakita mo sa Research Lab? May mga matatanda na naman bang ginawang karne at kinain?!”

“Nothing worth remembering,” sagot ko. Hindi matatanda pero may KAINAN ngang nangyari kagabi! Pusangina!

“Is it about Twin bro?” My silence gave him an answer. “So siya nga, anong ginawa niya Kitten?”

“Don’t ask why.”

He rested his head on his palm at saglit na nag-isip. “He’s fine though kaya hindi ko agad naisip na siya ang dahilan.”

Puto oo, syempre ako na lang naman ang nasasaktan. Most o the times, pain is only a one-way process. He must be very happy for causing me pain right now. “And he’ll be fine forever.”

His face looked at me with controversy. “I smell LQ.”

“Ewan ko sa’yo.”

“Whatever it is, you two will be fine soon,” pag-aalo niya sa akin. Puto, hindi man lang nakatulong ang sinabi niyang iyon.

“No, I’ll be fine soon.”

“Teka lang ha,” hinawakan niya ang balikat ko at hinarap sa kanya. “Iba ang conviction sa boses mo Kitten, ano ba talaga ang nangyari?”

I sighed heavily as I looked at him. Nasa kwarto kami ngayon and Megan wasn’t around. Nakagawian na ni Gon na tumambay sa kwarto namin, like he always did noong nasa District 9 dormitory pa lang kami. “I will completely disassociate myself from your twin.”

“Kasi?”

“Because he’s a jerk!” galit na wika ko. Pinitik niya ang noo ko at naiinis na tinabig ko ang kamay niya.

“Aray, ano ba?!”

“Don’t call Twin Bro a jerk Kitten, remember siya ang pinakamabait sa amin tapos ako ang pinakagwapo--”

Pinutol ko ang sasabihin niya. “Hindi ko pa rin pinapaniwalaan ‘yan hanggang ngayon.”

“Ano ba ang ginawa niya?” he asked.

“He kissed a girl.”

“Oh,” Pentagon unbelievably looked at me. “Really?”

Tumango ako. “Not just a girl, but a friend of mine from 3rd Ward. She recently had surgery so she’s very pretty now. Can you believe it Pentagon, they were kissing at the comfort room! Puto, dati hindi pa marunong humalik si Tatsulok--”

“Shit!” he exclaimed.

“What?”

“How do you know? Kitten, did you kiss him?”

Nag-iwas ako ng tingin. “Don’t bother asking.”

“Did you really corrupt his innocence kaya alam niya ‘yong sa dibdib mo--”

“Shut up Pentagon!”

He giggled at ilang beses na sinundot-sundot ang tagiliran ko. Puto, hindi pa talaga nadadala. Gusto yatang dawalang kamay na niya ang gustong maging artificial.

“Pentagon, stop it.” He knows that tone of mine. Kapag iyon ang ginamit ko, alam niyang hindi na ako nakikipagbiruan kaya tumigil siya sa pagsundot sa tagiliran ko.

Tumabi siya sa akin at ginulo ang buhok ko. “It’s okay Kitten. Twin bro is probably having a bad day kaya nagiging ganyan din siya. I’m telling you, you two will kiss and make up--”

“No way.” I promised myself na tama na. Ibibigay ko na ang gusto niya. And I don’t want to eat those words again this time. May impatso pa ako sa mga salitang binitiwan ko noon kaya ayaw ko nang dagdagan pa.

Naalala ko na naman ang nasaksihan ko. Puto, ang sakit lang na makita ko sila sa ganoong posisyon! And he didn’t even try to explain himself. Pwede naman siyang magdahilan, magrason na hinalikan siya ni Stella, na wala siya sa tamang pag-iisip dahil sa alak pero wala! He chose not to say anything.

And I also gave him a chance but he’s determined to keep his decision. Siguro nga ay nagising na siya sa kabaliwan niya noon. He maybe realized I am not someone he will like for a long time.

I just felt Pentagon’s natural hand wiped away my tears. “I really hate to see you cry Kitten so don’t ever cry.”

Ngumiti ako nang pilit at tumango. “This will be the last time I will cry for him Pentagon. Hindi na ako aasa pa. Puto, kung ayaw nya sa akin, edi ayaw ko na rin sa kanya! Tapos ang usapan.”

“Sure ka? Kahit magmakaawa siya sa’yo?”

I nodded my head. “Totohanin ko na talaga ‘to sa pagkakataong ito. If he doesn’t like me, then I don’t like him anymore too! Kahit magmakaawa siya o kahit lumuhod pa siya! I won’t even look at him the way I did before! Magpakalbo muna siya at tatakbo nang nakahubad sa buong Capital saka ko siya titingnan! I really hate him! Ang dami ko na ngang iniisip na tungkol sa Capital, tapos dumagdag pa siya!” syempre, sayang din kapag hindi ako titingin diba?

Pentagon chuckled. “Sabi mo ‘yan ah?! Baka mamaya, makikita kitang naglalaway sa kapatid ko.”

“No.”

“You cannot tell Kitten. One day you will find yourself looking at him, thinking ‘damn, ang gwapo talaga ng mga Grande--”

“Pentagon, I’m being serious here.”

Tumawa ulit siya at bumalik sa harap ng kanyang laptop. “I’m being serious too Kitten! And speaking of serious, the number of girls missing from different wards is seriously alarming.”

Napatingin ako sa pinakita niya. It’s a graph showing the increase of the number of missing people. 95% are female. Napakunot ang noo ko habang iniisip. Mga babaeg nawala?!

“I think I know where they are Pentagon!” bulalas ko.

“Where?”

“Sa 69th floor ng Research Lab,” sagot ko sa kanya. Kinapa ko ang sakit sa dibdib ko nang maalala na isa si Stella sa mga naroon.

“Ha? 69th floor?” naguguluhang tanong ni Pentagon. “Bakit?”

“69th Floor is where Dr. Luther performs plastic surgery for people who wants to be pretty. He’s got a lot of clients inside the tubes at karamihan sa mga client niya ay babae. Megan and I seen them inside the tubes, recovering for the effect of the surgery. Sa katunayan, doon galing ang kaibigan ko. Even Megan’s friend was there.”

Napakamot si Pentagon sa ulo niya na tila ba nahihirapan siyang intindihin ang sinabi ko. “Teka I’m lost. May floor na sa Research Lab na para sa mga gustong magpasurgery?”

“Yup, for free and open to all pero madalas na naroon ay mga babae,” sagot ko.

“That’s because women are the most insecure given the toxic society,” sagot niya at hindi ko mapigilan na taasan siya ng kilay.

“Hey the Pentagon that I know isn’t a discriminator against women at kung sakaling hindi mo pa alam, there’s already as statute about that.” Most insecure?! Tsk! But in some ways, I agree.

“Alam ko, what I mean Kitten is that girls are more affected by this toxicity spreading around the Capital thus, making them develop a low self-esteem.”

I rolled my eyes. “Explain yourself Confucius. Ang dami mong sinasabi.”

“Ganito kasi ‘yan, ano ba ang objective ng plastic surgery na ‘yan?”

“To make people pretty.”

“Who are these people who wants to be pretty?” he asked.

“Those people who are ugly,” I replied lazily.

“Ano ang basehan niyo na pangit ang isang tao?”

Natigilan ako. Ano nga ba ang basehan ko na masasabi ko na pangit ako? Excessive fatty skin? Uneven face shape? Lips that aren’t pouty? Stretch marks?

Pentagon snapped in front of me. “Oh diba? You cannot just lay down every standard saying one’s ugly. It’s all in your head. Iniisip niyo lang ‘yon when in fact, everyone of us has unique appearance and beautiful in our own way. Nasasabi niyo lamang na hindi kayo maganda because the society prefers high nose, sharp jaws, skinny bodies etc. Walang pangit Kitten, keep that in mind.”

Ilang beses akong kumurap habang nakatingin sa kanya. Pentagon Grande Bermudo is someone that everyone in the Capital should take as role model. He’s capable of boosting my esteem with his words.

Ipinatong ko ang mukha sa dalawang palad at inilapit iyon sa kanya kasabay ng ilang beses na pagkurap. “So you think I’m pretty?”

He pushed my forehead with his pointer finger. “Uh, now I want to disagree with what I just said.”

Umayos ako ng upo at muling sumimangot samantalang napahalakhak naman siya na para bang tuwang-tuwa talaga siya. “Wala ka talagang kwentang kausap Pentagon.”

“Pero seryoso Kitten, don’t mind what the society wants. Diet? Pills? Surgeries? Nah. And don’t mind those people who loves to body shame. Eh ano ngayon kung mataba ka? Eh ano kung payat? Those things doesn’t make you less human. All you need is to take care of yourself the way you want to. Kung nagme-make up ka, so what? It’s your way of expressing yourself but don’t belittle those people who doesn’t do make up. Kung hindi ka naglalagay ng kung ano sa mukha mo, good but don’t say harsh things to people who likes makeup. Simple as that. People are making it a big deal. Pagnaka-make up; pokpok, malandi, pangit kung walang makeup etc. Same goes if one doesn’t do makeup; tatawaging losyang, walang pakialam sa sarili, yagit at kung anu-ano pa. Kapag lalaki naman, bakla! Seriously, people should focus more on humanity and other kind deeds rather than criticizing almost everything as if they’re fucking perfect! I don’t see the point why people wanted to be pretty outside when they are totally ugly inside!” tila naiinis na litanya niya. Sumandal siya sa kinauupuan at minasamasahe ang noo.

“Pentagon?”

“Hmm?”

“Pwede ka bang ipa-photocopy nang maraming beses na ipakalat sa buong Capital?” I asked with a dreamy look. This world needs more Pentagon!

“No,” sagot niya kasabay ng iling. “Sorry Kitten but I’m one in a million.”

I frowned at him. “Yabang.” muli kong ipinatong ang mukha sa aking mga palad and moved my swivel chair towards him. “Tayo na lang?” biro ko.

Bigla niyang sinipa ang upuan ko palayo, causing me to move to the other side of the room. Buti na lang hindi masyadong malakas dahil baka tumama ako sa kung saan. “Damn Kitten, sumakit batok ko d’on ah. Don’t do that again, I’m too good for you. You don’t deserve me,” natatawang sabi niya. “Isa pa, Twin Bro might kill me.”

“Huh as if naman papatusin din kita, maaalala ko lang mukha ng kapatid mo!” and every time I do, nanggigigil ako at nasasaktan.

“Kapag nakikita mo ako, naaalala mo kung ano ang nasayang mo,” he replied as he chuckled ngunit mayamaya ay biglang sumeryoso ang kanyang mukha. “So back to this matter, ibig sabihin naroon sa Research Lab ang mga babae at gusto magpaganda?”

I nodded as I reply at nag-isip siya saglit. Mayamaya ay tumipa siya sa laptop niya at nagfocus ngunit lumipas na nag ilang minuto ay mas lalo lamang kumukunot ang kanyang noo. I moved my chair at lumapit sa kanya.

“Bakit? Anong ginagawa mo?”

Huminga siya nang malalim at tinapik-tapik ang kanyang artificial na kamay sa mesa. “I tried snooping on their floor but I cannot. I wish I can go there and check it personally. Nababahala talaga ako sa mga babae.

I also think that Doctor Luther’s job is risky pero gaya ng sinabi niya, he has the consent of the clients and he’s just helping them. “I’ve been there few times and so far, the results are good.” Side effect kaya ng surgery ang kalandian ni Stella? I swear, she’s someone I didn’t know anymore. Mahinhin ang kilala kong Stella and she always go by her values. But now she’s a stranger to me-- inside and outside.

“Who knows they keep secrets and only showed you the successful ones.”

Napaisip din ako. Paano nga ba kung ganoon nga ang nangyayari? “I wish I can bring you there but unfortunately, naging strict na sila this time. They probably saw me snuck inside with Trench kahit hindi siya bahagi ng P:RUM team.”

His face suddenly lit up. “Ibig sabihin kayong bahagi lang ng P:RUM team ang makakapasok?

Tumango ako bilang sagot. “And people who set an appointment.”

“Great.”

“You’ll set an appointment then?” tanong ko.

He replied by shaking his head at ginaya ang ginawa ko kanina na inilagay ang mukha sa kanyang mga palad-- one was an artificial palm. “No, but I have my face!”

“Ha?”

Napangiwi siya at umayos ng upo. “Hay Kitten, why are you so slow? Who’s the top student who made it on the P:RUM team?”

“Si Tatsulok.”

“Exactly!” Muli niyang ipinatong ang kanyang mukha sa palad. He smiled mischievously and wriggled his brows. “Just few studs, a spiky hair Kitten and something to hide my arm and we’re good to go Kitten.”

Oh, right.

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A/N: 34 chapters na pala nasulat ko, I'm planning to end this by chapter 50 or 60 (not 70 like RFYL) pero depende pa rin. Anyways, I'm kinda weird because just like you, I'm hurting too as I write these twists and turn of events. Minsan nga umiiyak ako habang nagta-type lol

Keep reading! I have so much in store for you. Anyways, thank you solid ShinichiLaaaabers❤

—Tammiibells/ShinichiLaaaabs