⚠Trigger warning⚠: Suicide

Suicide is a serious thing and should not be taken lightly. If you or someone you know is trying to end their life please get help. Please understand I am simply using it for story purposes. I'm sorry. Please do not read this if you find the topic disturbing.

Jisung looked at the city around him. He was just outside the church, but he could see the buildings in the distance decked in lights and ornaments for the holidays.

It would be his first Christmas without Chenle.

Growing up poor, him and Chenle had never done much together for the holidays. Sometimes they would walk down to the snow covered park or go into town with what little money they had earned to by little gifts for each other. For the most part though, they just enjoyed the time they got to spend together.

But now, he was alone.

He crossed his arms tightly across his chest, hoping maybe it would bring him some warmth. He knew it would be better for him to go back inside, but he needed to think. A lot had happened just now and just the thought of what Jaemin had done made him want to kill the older boy right now.

"If that prick ever shows his face here, I'll punch his face in.." He muttered to himself before kicking at a small pile of snow.

"Who?" Jisung turned quickly and saw that Haechan was limping his way over, hands behind his back. The bitter wind blew by and carried with it slight drifts of snow. The crazy smile on Haechan's face scared Jisung. He took a step back, brows furrowed as his eyes fixed on the crazy boy.

"What's wrong Ji?"

Jisung flinched.

Only his Chenle could call him that.

"M-my names Jisung.. Don't call me Ji.." Haechan tilted his head with a slight pout as he stoped right in front of Jisung.

"What's wrong Jisungie? Do I sacre you?" Jisung swallowed and frantically shook his head no, leaning back a bit as Haechan leaned forward. Haechan smiled again, the same crazy smile as before. "Good.." He removed his hands from behind his back to reveal what he was holding. Jisung's eyes widened.

A 6 inch shining silver blade on a black handle gripped tightly in Haechan's hand.

"Jisung... Do you ever wish you could see Chenle again?"

Jisung felt tears well in his eyes and his heart sank. His throat felt tight and it became harder to breath.

He nodded.

"Jisung.. Don't you think..." Haechan walked behind Jisung. "You could see him sooner if you.. Ended it?"

Jisung was shaking so hard as Haechan lightly pressed the blade against his throat and removed it.

Jisung nodded.

"Then what's the hold up?"

Haechan opened Jisung's hand and set the knife in the youngers grasp, closing the boys fingers around the handle. Jisung shakily lifted the blade to his throat and swallowed back the tears as he began to press harder and harder.

Haechan smiled maniacally and took a step back. He watched with a smile as Jisung slid the knife against his throat, blood spilling out. His eyes rolled to the back of his head and his vision fogged as he fell to the ground in the now bloodstained snow. His body lay limp on the ground and Haechan knelt beside it, his back to the church as tears welled in his eyes, although his smile remained. He held Jisung's head in his lap and pet the boys hair.

"Jisung! Haechan what happened!! Jisung!" Haechan faked a frown and turned to see Renjun and Jeno running over.

"I-I tried to stop him b-but he wouldn't listen!! Its all my f-fault.." Haechan sobbed. Jeno and Renjun ignored him, pushing him away and holding Jisung's body in their arms. Jeno shakily removed the bloody knife from Jisung's grasp and cried. Renjun heald the boys head and did the same.

"J-Jisungie.. I hope you f-find Chenle.. He really m-misses you..."

Haechan stood up and turned away, walking in the same direction he had the other day.

Maybe now he could join EXO...

But what he didn't know, was that Jaemin and Chanyeol had seen it all.

"He's one of us!" Chanyeol said with a smile and a chuckle before he began to head back to the base.

Jaemin looked out at the church.

Renjun and Jeno.

They were crying.

He felt the pit within him deepen and frowned as he held his stomach and doubled over, slowly sinking to the ground as tears left him uncontrollably. He heald his head and drew in a shaky breath as the loud harsh sobs wouldn't stop.

"What have I done!"

-tbc-

AN: I'm really sorry...