The memories run on an endless loop, I don't try to pull myself out instead I embrace the fact that they prove that I'm indeed the monster I imagine myself to be. I'm oblivious to the outside world, I'm not pulled out until I hear Theo's frantic voice.

"Alexandra? Alexandra! Alexandra, c'mon look at me love."

I blink and see that Theo's face is directly in front of mine, his eyes wide with concern. I can feel the memories tugging at the edges of my conscious, waiting to suck me back in.

"Keep your eyes on my Alexandra, eyes on me."

I don't understand why Theo's still speaking to me as if he still cares. "I...Are you going to kill me?" I ask hesitantly unable to hide the tremor in my voice. Theo's eyes widen in shock at the question.

"Little warrior, no. Goddess no. Why would you think that?"

"Because I'm a monster." I whimper looking away from him in shame.

I feel my chin gently gripped before I'm looking back into his eyes, "Eyes on me. Alexandra, you are not a monster. You went through an experience that no one should have gone through and were forced into an impossible situation that had no good choice. What happened is not your fault, no matter what you believe or what others have said."

I'm exhausted even though I haven't been awake long, I'm completely and utterly emotionally drained. I still don't understand, I can't comprehend what Theo's saying, the disgust I have for myself is deeply engrained within me. There's a knock on the door before it opens, it's Theo's Beta and I can't help but shrink back thinking that maybe what Theo was saying was only a trick. My paranoia is sky high.

The Beta looks at us sympathetically, "Alpha." he nods handing him a mug I hadn't noticed. Theo thanks him and he takes his leave.

"Love, here, drink this." he brings the cup closer to my lips but I look up at him in slight panic, how do I know there isn't anything in the drink? Sighing, he takes a long sip from it. Observing that nothing happens to him, I tentatively take a sip when the mug is held to my lips. It's hot chocolate, the drink is warm and comforting, giving me the ability to relax slightly. Neither of us talk, if it looks like my mind is wandering Theo's touch brings me back to the present. It's once I'm finished that the silence is broken.

"Alexandra, I know today's been a lot for you. The attack though happened weeks ago before you crossed onto my territory, where were you?"

My mind reels at this information, no only two days a maximum of three days that had passed between the attack and my arrival. I had only been in their camp for a few hours before I escaped.

"Weeks? No no no it was only a few days." I shake my head frantically.

"Alexandra, reports of the attacked were given to us on October 2nd, you entered my territory on November 23rd." he replies cautiously before asking "Do you even remember those weeks?"

________________________________________________________

So luckily Theo and Alex seem alright, although Alex has a lot of self-hate to work through from her experiences. Theo's definitely trying to not let her dwell on it but will he be able to keep it up?

Alex doesn't seem to be remembering some things, why would that be? What did happen after the attack? Is this some sort of suppressed memories or amnesia or is there a logical explanation behind all this?

It's been an emotional few chapters, I hope you're enjoying learning more about Alex's background. She's been through a lot and even with the mate bond accepted, although not claimed, it may be an upward battle for the pair. Lots of questions are being asked though. And don't worry, we'll be learning more about Theo and the pack soon as well!

As always thanks for reading, comments are appreciated!