(Authors note updated as of May 2025)

WOW.

If you would've told me in 2018 that I wrote out the entire story of Parker and Miles, and then proceeded to publish it online (especially those explicit scenes...), I would've laughed in your face. But here we are!

It's crazy to me that the story is over! I've picked up and set down this story so many times over the years, tweaking and refining until I looked at the pages and saw my characters, not just words on a screen. I had so much fun planning out the story, writing the dialogue, exploring the two boys' relationship, and all of that stuff in between over the years that setting this story down one final time sort of feels like losing a limb.

Thank you, thank you, thank you guys for sticking around the entire time. I can't believe that there are people out there that are actually interested in the boys' story and stuck around long enough to see it through. It's something that every writer dreams of, so I'm baffled at the support. Especially my rereaders—YOU are the heart and soul of this story. Even having one rereader come back and leave comments is fun, but the fact there are SO MANY of you is SO humbling. I cannot even put it into words. I am giving you guys the biggest virtual hug right now, because your support is what keeps me coming back month after month, year after year. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

Anyway... hahah.

The idea of this story came to me roughly around 2017. It's been a long time, and I've spent a LOT of nights tossing and turning the plot around in my head. I always knew how the two boys met, what their dynamic would look like, and what Miles would choose in the end, but the actual plot itself was a muddy mess.

I spent months picking the story up and then setting it back down. Mainly because I talked myself out of it, lol. #impostersyndrome. A lot of things were scrapped, but I'm really happy with the end result!

There's such a strong presence around clichés in YA novels today that I wanted to step away from that. Don't get me wrong, I think a few common tropes are great here & there so the reader can find something familiar, however I was determined to give this story a realistic edge.

It wouldn't have been realistic for Parker to struggle with his sexuality for so long, that the one day he finally gets a boyfriend he turns into mister happy-go-lucky and the world is all rainbows. Anxiety and other mental health issues don't get cured the moment you meet your true love. You could have the strongest connection in the world with someone and still balk at the idea of dating for awhile.

My goal was to write a queer love story that refuses to be soft around the edges. I wanted to intersect love, loss, grief, identity, and injustice without flinching, because so many people face one (or all) of those things every single day. I wanted Parker and Miles to be pushed and pulled by everything around them: class, race, immigration policy, masculinity, trauma, family dysfunction. That depth makes their love feel not just real, but earned. When the time came to lose it, I wanted it feel like Parker was losing the only place where he felt safe.

In my opinion, love is shaped by circumstance, and sometimes the bravest thing two people can do is love each other at all, knowing it might not last.

Long story short, I hope that there's aspects in the story that everyone can relate too.

Even a few chapters near the end had an intentional feeling of a clock ticking. I think every person has had an encounter with a loved one where it feels like time is escaping you, and there's nothing you can do to stop it. I hope I captured that feeling with the urgency of each chapter after Parker found out Miles secret.

Fortunately, this book isn't the end. There's still too much of this world to explore, and besides, no one has heard Griffins side of the story yet... so, if you're ready for round two, the sequel Breaking The Rules is on my profile now!

See you all on the flip side!

xoxo, author