𝙽𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝟷𝚜𝚝, 𝙼𝚘𝚗𝚍𝚊𝚢
Parkers POV

Water presses around every inch of us and fills my nose. Instinct makes me let go of Miles, and I swim to the surface, gasping when the fresh air hits my face. A blight of panic blooms in my chest when I see that I'm alone.

Miles surfaces next to me, not even a moment later, gasping like a fish out of water. Ironic since I'm the one that just came out.

"What the hell just happened?" Miles demands and laughs, paddling over to the dock. He reaches up and grabs one of the metal bars from the ladder.

"I'm so sorry!" I exclaim and laugh as well, more stunned than he is. "I didn't realize how close we were to the edge, and my peripheral vision was off. That's my bad. I'm so sorry that I dragged you down with me."

"No, not that. I don't give a damn about a little bit of water!" Miles can't stop laughing as he tries to talk. "It's just... I can't believe you, you..."

"Uh huh?" I grin. It's fun to watch the realization dawn on Miles face after all of this time.

"You bitch!" He smacks the lake's surface, spraying me with water and getting more giggles in response. "Don't you uh-huh me! You're fuckin' kidding me! Do you know how many hints I've dropped, how many little moves I've tried to make? How long have you known? Did my long, emotional rant about you make you crack? Or was it the kissing from this past week?"

"Hey, slow down!" I snicker and push the hair off my forehead before paddling closer to him. "You ask too many questions. Trust me. I think I've noticed about every single one of your hints. And the kissing definitely helped."

"Yet you kept holding out on me? Why?" Miles asks.

I shrug and glide next to him, grabbing the other metal pole that attaches to the other corner of the dock. "Well, here's my issue. I'm not exactly... out yet."

Miles quirks an eyebrow. "Oh? So...?"

"Yeah, that means that this was kind of a new awakening." I laugh out of nervousness this time, and my cheeks go pink as I look him up and down. At least the parts that are exposed.

"No way!" Miles exclaims, grinning like an idiot as he leans over and ruffles my hair, making me fuss. "Was I seriously your sexual awakening? This is huge, bro! I knew I was hot, but damn!"

"Shut the hell up." I scoff but can't pretend to be angry as I smile and grab his wrist, pulling it away from my hair. "I've been meaning to tell you sooner, except... I don't know. I didn't want to rush it or make things awkward. Besides, as I said, no one knows."

"Geez, I'm the awakener and the promise keeper?"

"Well..." I hesitate. "Okay, one other person knows. Griffin."

For the first time, I make Miles' jaw drop in sheer horror. "You told who? Your homophobic cousin that chased me down to specifically threaten me about pursuing you?"

"Look, he—wait, what?" My energy deflates as I search his eyes. "Seriously?"

Miles snorts and waves his hand, accidentally flinging lake water at my face. "You think I'd lie about this? It happened after that one game a few weeks ago when you caught us in the parking lot. He was grilling me right when you walked up. Something about how I shouldn't tamper with your reputation, that sort of thing."

That motherfucker.

"This isn't Griffin's life," I finally say and look over at the trees that border the far end of the lake. I love my cousin dearly, except he really needs to hop off.

I continue speaking after recalling the timeline of events. "He had that conversation with you before I told him about my, uh, preferences. I bet he thought he was looking out for me, except he didn't know yet that you are what I want. Actually, he shocked me when I told him. He understood, but..."

"Said something about reputation, right?"

I snap my gaze back over at Miles. Nod. "Yeah. Pretty much."

"Fuck them all. Not Griffin, the judgmental pricks. I don't want to wreck this moment, but this—" Miles motions between him and me, "this call needs to be on you. You know where my feelings are. You need to decide what you want. Okay?"

I nod again, a strand of my hair flopping over my face and fear surging through my veins as I whisper, "Okay."

"Good boy. Now, this has been wonderful, but I'm soaked. Let's get out of here," Miles says and turns around, grabbing another rail higher up. His hands slip on the metal, but he gains purchase and pulls himself up, wiggling onto the dock.

Once he's is out, he reaches down and takes my hand, helping me out of the water.

I roll over onto my back once we're on dry land and sigh, shutting my eyes against the setting sun. The sound of water splatters on the dock, most likely from him squeezing out his shirt. Oddly, that spurs a question in me.

"Miles? Can I ask you something?"

He pauses, and the sound of splattering water stops. "Shoot."

"You remember one of those first nights we genuinely talked and hung out? That same night you tackled me so hard that I bruised a rib?"

"Shut up. I never bruised your rib," Miles laughs, which makes me smile. "But yeah, I remember. Why?"

"Did you see me kiss a girl that night?"

He goes silent for a moment. I can almost hear his thought process as he tries to figure out where I'm going with this.

"Yep, sure did. That blonde chick, right?"

A dumb smile splits my face, and I lift my head to look at Miles. "You did! Holy shit, I only did that because I knew you were across the parking lot flirting with other people, and I wanted to make you jealous!"

"You're such a dick!" Miles marvels, and he leans over to smack my leg with his shirt. "I didn't know that you were such a drama king."

I chuckle and rest my hands down on the dock. "It was dumb, but I was so angry at you, and you didn't even know. Well, now you do, so maybe I'll sleep better tonight without that on my conscious."

I pause and look at Miles again. Like, really look at him. How I could ever hang out with Hannah when I had this boy right in front of me all along is genuinely baffling. And it also makes me confident. Mainly because I finally know what my type is.

"Kiss me again. Now."

"Why? Need to wipe your brain clear of the estrogen?" Miles teases me and leans over to run a finger up my leg.

"Whatever, maybe." I scowl as he touches me. I take the bait and grab his hand. That's all he needs. He laces our fingers and pulls me up to a sitting position before leaning in and giving me a quick kiss.

It's a simple brushing of our lips, yet the intensity is still there. Just as strong as it was a few minutes ago. I ache to keep kissing him and rekindle what was happening before I dumped us in the lake, except he pulls away before it can happen.

Hurt seeps into my body, and I sit back, stung. "I thought—"

"You need to figure out your shit, Park. It's like I said, I know what I want, but you need to want it too. I'll only let you kiss this beautiful face once you decide, m'kay?" Miles says gently, not wanting to put bad blood between us when we haven't even dated yet.

I chew on my cheek for a moment and almost tell Miles not to worry about it. Screw that. I wish we could get away with keeping our relationship on the down-low. It hurts like hellfire, even though he's right.

"Okay, I guess."

He hums approvingly and pats my leg before standing up. He holds his hand out to me, and I take it, grunting as he helps me up.

"We should get going before it gets dark. I have towels in my car," Miles says. His fingers linger on mine for a few seconds too long before letting go.

Every bone in my body aches to take his hand back. The sting of rejection is still fresh, and it's the one thing that stops me from trying. Instead, I nod and walk up the path with him, my shoes squelching with every step.

Once we reach the parking lot, he opens up his trunk and scowls at it.

I take out my fob and pray it will still work while wet. With a quick click, my car beeps and unlocks. Thank god.

Once it's rumbling from the remote start, I face Miles and look at the singular towel in his hand. "Do you have any more...?"

"Nope. I'm a dumbass and forgot to replenish my stock after we swam at the beach a few weeks ago. This is it." Miles wipes his hands off before tossing it at me. "You can use it first. I should probably start my car too."

I snag the towel out of the air and shrug. "If you say so."

"I do," Miles replies and walks to his driver's side.

Running the towel over my hair, I smile to myself as I squeeze the water out. His thoughtfulness is precisely what made me crush so hard in the first place. My smile quickly dies at the horrific sound his car makes.

Grat-tatat... Tatatat...

Silence.

"What the hell?" I say at the exact time Miles exclaims.

"You've got to be fuckin' shittin' me."

Peeling the towel off my hair, I run it over my arms as I walk around to the driver's side, my forehead creased. "Is it supposed to make that sound?"

"Nope." Miles tries turning the key in the ignition again. This time, the engine doesn't even turn. All I hear is a soft clicking under the hood. "Fuckin' battery is dead."

"You're joking." I tuck the towel under my arm to put a hand on my hip. "Do you have any jumper cables?"

"Nope," Miles says again and shakes his head. "Left them in my mom's van. Son of a bitch." He sighs and turns to look at me. "You?"

"Hell no. You think I ever need to get jumped?"

Miles lips quirk in an extremely kissable way. "I would usually give you crap for that answer, except I can't say anything because I was the same way."

"Until now." I can't help myself, and I laugh when Miles flicks me off. "Don't worry, leave it here for the night. Are you okay going back to my house with me? We can clean up and rest, then come back early tomorrow to fetch your car. It's too late to do it now."

Miles deflates and looks around his car as if he's a child at a toy store that got told to put everything in the cart away. "I guess there's no choice. Are you okay with that?"

I'd love nothing more than that right now.

I keep those words to myself and nod. Play it cool. "That's fine. C'mon, let's go. I'll even buy you McDonalds out of sympathy."

~

Miles and I do our best to sneak in through the garage. It's difficult to be discreet when my shoes won't stop squeaking, and he won't stop giggling.

"Shhh, you're going to wake everyone up!" I warn him as I slip my shoes off, even though his stupid, muffled laughter is starting to make me laugh.

"Oh, whatever, no sane person is asleep by nine." Miles snorts and elbows my side as he takes his shoes off, followed by his socks.

I open my mouth to retort, then pause and shrug. Miles smirks. "Point proven."

"Shove it," I reply and peel my wet socks off before tip-toeing out of the foyer with him hot on my heels.

And sure enough, he was right. Both of my parents look up from the couch, bewildered. Their reactions are justified, especially since I went on a tangent about my feelings for Miles not even twelve hours ago. I can only imagine what this must look like to them.

"I can explain this," I say and wave a finger between him and I. Lake water drips from my pants and starts to puddle on the floor.

He smiles sheepishly and lifts his hand. "Hey."

Dad, that asshole, can't wipe the smirk off his face. "Hey, boys. This ought to be a good one."

Miles and I suddenly start to speak at once.

"I accidentally fell in, and he jumped in to—"

"My keys fell, and we—"

I snap my stupid mouth shut and glance at Miles from the corner of my eye, panicked. We should've made up a good excuse on the way over here. I didn't realize my parents would still be awake.

Even my mom lifts an eyebrow, and she's usually the one on my side. "I don't think I want to know what led up to you boys smelling like fishy lake water, but I do want to know what we owe the pleasure of Miles being here. If I knew he was coming over, I would've prepared—"

"Mom. Please, I appreciate that you care about him so much, but he's not the Queen of England." I look at Miles. "No offense."

"None taken." Miles lifts his hands innocently.

I hate how hot he makes the simplest gestures. I bite my tongue to keep from grinning as I face my parents again. "The battery died in his car, and neither of us had jumper cables. I told him it's too late to be running around worrying about that, so I figured he could sleep over tonight, and we'll get the car in the morning."

I look between my poker-faced mom and my dad, who's not-so-subtly holding down his grin.

"Is that okay...?"

They look at each other and have a quick, silent conversation that I can't decipher.

Mom sighs and looks back at me first. "Fine."

"Hell yeah." Miles grins and offers me his fist. I smile and oblige with a fist bump.

"But..." she continues, and I groan, "make sure you're both in bed within the hour because it's still a school night. Parker, you know where all of the blankets and pillows are in case you two need to figure out sleeping arrangements. There's always the guest bedrooms, too, okay?"

Miles salutes. "Yes, ma'am. Hear you loud and clear."

I sigh, not as impressed. "Okay, fine."

"Thank you. Now, go clean up, please, before you two make this entire house smell like a fish factory." Mom smiles and waves her fingers dismissively.

"Don't need to tell me twice," I mumble under my breath and grab Miles elbow, twirling him around toward the stairs. "Goodnight, see you guys tomorrow."

My parents oblige with the good nights as Miles follows hot on my heels up the stairs.

I lead him a few feet down the hall before pushing open my bedroom door. "I'm assuming you'll need to borrow a change of clothes?"

"That would be sweet. I'd like to... Holy shit," he curses as he comes into my room and stops dead in the doorway.

After living here all my life, I've never been baffled by my bedroom. I guess I'm also used to it. I try putting myself in Miles' shoes and see what he sees.

A disheveled king-size bed—I promise, if I knew he was coming over tonight, I would've made it—my gaming set-up in the far corner, the floor-to-ceiling window, TV on the wall, LED strips glowing a soft blue, the doors to my personal bathroom and walk-in closet wide open.

"How the hell do you even leave this room?" Miles gapes and slowly lets the door click shut behind him as he shuffles in further, his eyes catching on my shelves full of football accomplishments.

"The same way you walk away from your car. You want a t-shirt or a sweatshirt?" I ask as I walk to my closet.

He spins slowly in a complete circle, taking it all in. "T-shirt, please."

His amazement is actually kinda cute. I grin and watch him for a moment before going into my closet and flicking on the light. I consider the options fast before choosing a navy tshirt that has always been too big for me and a pair of black basketball shorts that I never wear, because I have ten other pairs of the same damn thing.

Miles appears more grounded as I come out and hand him the clothes. "Those should fit you. I..." I hesitate and hate the way my face instantly turns red with heat. "I didn't grab boxers. I don't know if... How you..." I stutter and clear my throat.

Thank god he doesn't laugh at me, though he might be close with how his lips are twitching. "This is perfect, thank you. I usually go commando at night anyway." He winks, and I'm pretty sure the skin on my face is going to melt off. "Is it cool if I shower?"

"Go for it. Towels are in the cabinet," I say and flourish my hand at the bathroom as I turn away from him to fiddle with my comforter. Anything to get the image of him not wearing boxers out of my head.

"Gracias." Miles tips his head at me and disappears.

I sigh and take this moment to regather myself. As I straighten out my bed, I evaluate this situation.

So, Miles is at my house. In my bedroom. For an entire night. Cool, that's great and dandy.

Except he's gay, and I'm gay for him, we've practically made out already, and thinking about round two makes my blood boil for a different reason.

This isn't going to be a regular sleepover. Tonight it will take all of my willpower not to close the space between us. It's cute that mom figured Miles would sleep in a different bedroom, but I won't let that fly. Honestly, if he didn't shut down my advances an hour ago, I'd be cool exploring what else he can do with that mouth.

Before I can let that thought consume me, I hear him finishing up in the bathroom. I scurry to gather my own PJs, and right as I walk out of the closet with them in tow, he comes out of the bathroom.

Seeing him in my clothes, all cleaned up and smelling like my Old Spice body wash, nearly sends me to my knees.

Instead, I smile weakly. "Better?"

"Mucho. I can't thank you enough. I feel like a whole new man." Miles walks past and gently sets down his smelly, folded-up clothes from earlier on the floor.

"Don't worry about it. I'm going to clean myself up, so make yourself comfortable," I call behind my shoulder before disappearing into the bathroom.

With the knowledge that Miles is waiting for me, I hurry as fast as possible through my shower. I do the basics to get the smell off, rush through the drying process and change, running a comb through my hair and swishing a toothbrush around my mouth before I leave the bathroom.

My eyes adjust to the dim bedroom as I turn the bathroom light off. Miles is curled up on his side on my bed, one arm tucked under his head as he scrolls through his phone. When I come out of the bathroom, he shuts it off and looks at me with a smile. "Shit's euphoric, right?"

"Very much so. I needed that. Are you doing alright? Can I get you anything else?" I ask nervously and pull at my fingers. I can't remember the last time I've had someone up here other than my family members.

Miles shakes his head and pats the spot next to him. "Nah, man, I'm good. You better settle your white ass down before your momma comes in here and whoops us both for being loud, though."

I chuckle a little at the thought as I come around the other side and slowly lie down. At least my bed is bigger than his, and I'm not forced to touch shoulders with him.

"Trust me. She's all big talk. She won't whoop us," I tease Miles by using his lingo and pull the comforter over my legs.

He hums and rolls onto his back before stretching out. "Man, this is like deja vú."

"I was just thinking that. I'm glad you're sober this time." I roll onto my side and grin at him. For one fleeting moment, seeing him next to me in bed like this knocks the air from my lungs.

If I had a dollar for every time I imagined Miles in this bed, I could pay for gay conversion therapy.

Or maybe I'm feeling remorse for my actions from the last time we laid down together. I can still feel his tongue slipping under my thumb, his eyes dripping with repressed desire.

Great, I curse in my head. That memory alone gives me another round of adrenaline.

Miles scoffs and fully stretches out. His spine pops, and I watch how effortlessly he takes up space. "I'm glad I'm not sick like that anymore. That was a nightmare. Although, it wasn't too bad since it led up to this happening."

He rolls his head to the side and smiles at me. The same dumb smile that makes my heart feel like it's palpitating and makes my hands shake.

"Were you being serious about that no-kissing rule?" I whisper, my eyes darting between his eyes and his lips.

Miles shrugs and nods. "It's best to have a boundary. After getting into a few tricky situationships, I've found that it's best not to cross that line without a good reason."

It might be some lake water parasite that's suddenly making me so bold, or it's the hormones. "I could give you at least one very good reason to cross that line for a minute."

"Uh-huh." Miles hums and tilts his chin up. His eyes stay focused on mine so intently that goosebumps rake down my skin. "And what's that? Other than your throbbing boner."

"Fuck you." I laugh and cover my eyes with my hand as I roll onto my back. "God, I still can't believe this. Does being attracted to guys ever, like, freak you out?"

"Not really. It's all I've known." Miles pauses. "Sure, I've had girls on my radar in the past, and I hooked up with one to make sure I wasn't missing out on anything. And trust me when I say I wasn't. Boys are funner and less drama afterward. Sometimes I like the risk as much as the gender."

I nod in acknowledgment, even if this talk of him screwing other people makes my situation worse. "I wish I was more like you."

Miles chuckles, and I feel him shift. "Don't wish for that."

"No, I'm serious." I drop my hand to look at him. "I wish I were that confident in myself, and I wish that I didn't care what people think. This fucking sucks because I'd date you at the drop of a hat, except I also have to think about what that choice would do to my future."

Miles searches my eyes, and I swallow. My voice lowers again. "Does that help you any?"

"It does." His gaze gets a little greedier. He still doesn't move. I don't understand him; how effortlessly he undresses me with his eyes, yet, he doesn't move an inch to follow through.

It's definitely the hormones talking now. "How do you have so much self-control?"

"Years of practice."

"Do my questions bother you?"

"Not at all. I enjoy your voice and your curiosity."

"So if I was curious about the feeling of your hand down my pants, what would you say?" I hold my breath.

Miles blinks slowly. I can tell that it's in an effort not to act irrationally.

"I would... probably have to oblige. We can call it a test trial, right?" He grins, showing off his perfect teeth. It's unfair how beautiful he is.

My heart beats so hard that I feel like I'm going to puke. I move closer to him. "Right."

We share the same breath. He lifts his hand. Hovers his fingers over my arm. "Are you sure you want this...? I don't want to spook you by moving too fast."

"Miles," I breathe. "I'm begging you. It's fine."

With those words, I lean in and shut my eyes against the bliss that his lips bring.

I'm tempted to forge full-speed ahead at this activity like they do in the movies. I also want to enjoy every second. I've been dreaming about this night for way too long to go and get it over with in thirty seconds.

Miles and I kiss in a perfect dance, a perfect play of offense and defense. I don't even remember what regret or shame feels like when his tongue is in my mouth. His breath is sweet and pours down my throat like honeyed wine. Or what I imagine wine would taste like. Our mouths softly, slowly, taking our time exploring each other. Every movement of his is calculated.

I'm starting to understand Miles and how he keeps his leash shortened in these scenarios. I can physically feel the restraint with each slide of his lips. The only reason why I'm not leaving these situations with bruised, bleeding lips is because he's intentionally taking it easy.

I'm sick of easy.

I intentionally open my mouth wider with each kiss and groan as he adds pressure with his tongue. My hands slide down over his braided hair, desperate for something to grab.

Miles inhales deeply and kicks back the comforter as he leans his shoulders over me. One of his hands slides down my arm and grabs my wrist.

His grip tightens, and I let him lead me. The air immediately gets sapped from my lungs when he directs my hand straight down to his legs.

My fingers brush over the hard, electrifying muscle straining against those black shorts. The feeling of it makes my knees shake. I always figured he would have some size differences over me, but holy shit.

"If you agree..." Miles kisses my lower lip, my chin, "to this, this..." he runs his hand over my fingers and spreads my hand apart for me. All he does is add a little pressure over the top of my hand and press my palm against the length of him.

"This is what you'll be dealing with," he breathes against my neck and kisses it. "I don't have a vagina, Parker."

The way he says my name makes my back arch. "I don't want a damn girl," I curse at him and grab the width of him. "I want you. I want this. I promise you."

Miles kisses my neck again in response. The feeling sends electric volts down my spine. Nothing on this planet could prepare me for the feeling of his lips, Miles lips, gliding over my windpipe.

Now that we understand each other a little better and now that he has my word, he lets go of my wrist to slide his hand down my pants. He leads the way the entire time, not stopping until we're sweating and breathless.

After what just happened between us, it won't take much convincing to agree to be his boyfriend.