.

.......its a beautiful morning in shimla...and naina as usual walks in rehaan's room....,to not find him there...

"Rehaan ,rehan"she is searching all around the house....

"Wo rehaan baba to letters Lene chale gaye neeche...mail box ke pas"alka her maid reminds her ..as today is one of those special days ....he recieves those letters from his father....

"Jan.letters aane me abhi time hair"she kisses his forehead and ruffles his hair....."aap chal ke doodh peelo"

"Nai...agar postman uncle aakar chale gaye to"he r
Protests ..and waits for a few more hours wistfully....

"Rehan baba...ye lo aapke letters"postman hands him two envolopes with a gift wrapped packages...

And the little 6 year old runs all around the house doing a happy dance. ..

Naina blinks at postaman uncle thanking him..and runs after this little troublemaker. .

"Rehaan ...aap pehle dudh peelo...ab to papa ke letters bhi mil gye aapko"

"Nai...i want to read them first..."he insisits...closing the room..reading them in privacy ...

While she admires this little bundle of joy....

His eyes just like his father ....nhe basically inherited all of his father's traits...same innocent face. .same kindness....she sometimes wonders how rajveer might have felt....to see this peice of himself. ..a mere evidence of their love....

********

.....After Dr salve 's allegations in court....he never denied being in love with her ...neither felt guilty about it.....only there was an unsaid dsitance and longing between them...despite knowing feelings they keep for each other....both waiting for the other to make a move ....not being able to sum up enough courage ...
After one year of graduation..she was posted at darjeeing base.....where he had almost rushed to meet her.....

It was past midnight...pouring heavily.....
As he knocked at her doorstep...

She was both surprised and happy...

"Sir..aap yahan."she exclaims...with thoseglittering eyes ...while he keeps staring at her hazeleyes ..as if capturing images of her for one last time....
".please Andar aaiye na....you are completely drenched...mujhse key dete...i would have picked you up"she says...giving him towel
"Haan wo achanak se yahan aana hua..socha tumse mil lun"he smiles....

He was staring at him all the while with a longing....as if trying to memoriese her....

"Coffee"she asks smiling ..he nods .

"Maine graduation ke bad bohot koshish ki aapse milne ki....par aapko track hi nai Kar paye...ap ke postings itne uncertain hoti thi"she complains..
Its the first time he has met personally after their graduation....they had seen each other in an army ball before..but interaction had limited words just eyes spoke loud and clear .....
"Mere pass to tumhari har location har posting ma adress tha .par kabhi himmat hi nahi hui tumse milne ki
"He cozily sits beside her. ..with hey staring like a deer....trying to decode his words which for the first time don't seem to defend what her eyes are trying to convey. ...

"Kyun"she asks....

"Darta tha...ki tum ye na puch lo ki us din jane see pehle Maine apni bat puri kyun nhi ki......"she narrows her eyes unable to believe that he has finally let his guard down.....finally ready To admit it to her. ....what he had left unsaid. ......

"Ab jab himmat juta paya.tumse wo baat kehne ki ...to bohot der ho gayi"he says with a sad music in his voice...

"Aap aisa kyu keh rahe Hai...ab bhi der nahi Hui..."her voice slightly scared.....

"Mujhe ek covert operation ke liye bheja jaa rha hai naina...i am leaving tomorrow morning....."he says in a low voice ..

"When will you be back"she asks her eyes watery ...

"I don't know..."he says...with a grieved voice. "I don't know if at all...i will be back"he pauses
"jaane see pehle tumhe jee bhar ke dekhna chahta hun...tumhari yaadon ko sametna chahta hun"his voice jagged. He sits on his knees and cups her crying face. ......breaking down in her embrace.
Both spend an eternity sobbing and wailing to their hearts content.....
....
He lies in her lap....tired of crying ..rubbing her fingers ..measuring its length against his .feeling.softness of her skin her Fragnance..while she ruffles his hair .....softly...as tears endlessly flow from her eyes ....

A soft voice hums on the radio....she plays it every night to sleep these days ..

"Tum ko dekha to ye khayaal aaya
Zindagi dhoop tum ghana saya"
He looks at her raising himself from her lap ...
Cupping her face ...while she closes her eyes.

He looks at her....her pure innocent face...like its all he had ever wanted in the world ..

. .there is moment of indecision .....a hesitation ....before he finally ascends ..to reduce the distance between her quivering lips and his...

"Aaj fir dil ne ek tamnanna ki
Aaj for humne dilko Samjhaya"

She pushes him slightly...and he is startled....thinking maybe she doesn't want it......

"Wo darwaza khula hai"she whispers breathing heavy.....She crawled in bed backwards
As he kissed her smoothly.

He got it within few secs that she is absolutely naive about all this.

As her kisses were so immature
And her extreme aroused reaction everytime he touched her at new place

Her gasping and clutching his shirt every time he kiss her at new place.

But not once she stopped.

Her phone rang abruptly as he was about slip his hand inside her kurti

She saw her phone and without even looking at who is calling she switched off the phone and saw him to resume his work.

He kept staring
And she raised herself a bit to kiss his neck.

He kept looking at her as she stared at him.....
Confused

"Kya hua"
She asked

"Tumhe dar nahi lag Raha...
This is your first time right?"

He asked

And she made a cute face

"Apke sath
Kisi bat se dar nahi lagta"
She said

And he smiled and kissed her forehead.

She pushed him and flipped on top of her swinging her hairs on his face.

And sat on him....

Kissing him roughly
As his hands unbuttoned her shirt.

She sat and remove her shirt herself ......

Never closing his eyes
As he sat to remove his shirt.
And saw her looking back at him with stars in eyes.
Just in a satin sheet.

After a while they drop on bed kissing furiously.....his hands impatient on her skin.....exploring it with a restless curiosity....
His breath entangled in hers ....tears not stopping even for a second ...
"Tum chale jaoge to sochenge..humne kya khoya humne Kay paya"
Tum ko dekha to ye khayal aaya

he is...kissing her neck softly ...as if trying to memorize every single detail about her.....while she reciprocates matching his fervour.....but as he looks in her eyes .for a final consent....she softly cups his face ..and asks softly"do you love me"

This makes his eyes watery....
And tears drop on her skin...as he. Says...

"Hum jise gunguna nahi. Sakte ...
Waqt ne aisa geet kyun gaya..."

"Agar is baat ka bhi jawab dena pade..
To khak pyaar hair"

"I love you rajveer sir"she replies innocently.....and kisses him with such intensity....that there are no more doubts and questions that remain between them....

His fingers tracing a path on her back.....biting and soothing her skin ...as if leaving marks of his love.....imprinting himself on her soul....

He locks her eyes with his....moving inside her ..their breathes entangled...voices muffled ....as he jerks deeper....and she hums...at the intense pleasure she gets...accompanied by a spine numbing realisation of this being the last time.they are seeing each other ....

.....They sat in silence
Covering themselvs in bedsheet
For sometime

She was still in her parallel world of happiness where first time he made her feel like a women.
"kuch kahogi nahi"
He asked

Rubbing her bare shoulder

"Aisi rat Meri Zindagi mein pehle kabhi nahi ayi."
She said in a dreamy voice.

He got a bit serious.....

"This will go no where Naina....
Tum mujhe phir kabhi nahi dekhogi
Promise me you will not let this night stop you to go ahead in life.
Zindagi Meri liye khatam ho rahi hai
Tumhare liye nahi."

He said and she turned to see him.

"Ap Meri zinadgi mein ane wale pehle aur akhri insan ho"
She said cupping his face

"Kuch hi der mein Suraj nikal jayega.....par
Ye rat ab kabhi khatam nahi hogi......"

"Nahi Naina....
Aisa mat kaho"
Warna main khud ko kabhi maaf nahi Kar paunga....."
He said suddenly tensed with her words....
He can't let her suffer all her life.

"Ab bohot der ho gayi hai
It was so easy for me to take my clothes off for you....
Apne to shuru see hi Mera har dar Meri har kamzori.....mera har dag dekha hai...."

"Ye sab kuch Jo apne dekha hai main kisi aur ko kaise dikha sakti hun"
He wants to stop her...to convince her that she is being too naive ..but he knows her and also the fact that she won't give the place he has in her life to anyone else.....

They both linger in each other's arms tracing each other's skin...counting moles and freckles.....hiding those tears . . not wanting the night to end.....wanting a few moments more...to love each other ...to feel each other.....
Dawn breaks finally and he does bid her a goodbye...but her life is changed ..she knows she won't be alone even without him....she will jave this night.....as a treasured memory.. Of their unsaid and unheard love...and she is content with this.....for the moment ..or perhaps for rest of her life ..

****""
She managed to call Pooja alekh and ud who were posted nearby.

With the intention to tell them everything.

Alekh had immediately notice her odd behavior and was waiting for her to break the ice.

"Guyes
I need to tell you something...."
She said and looked at Pooja.....

"I am pregnant"
She said and saw her friends getting serious.

And soon concerned

She paused for sometime

Ud and Pooja wondering who it might be
But alekh being the enlightened one

"Rajveer sir?"
He asked

And she noded

They got confused as none of them had seen him since graduation.

She told them everything in short what happened few days ago.

Pooja - kaun sa month hai
She asked

Naina - third

Pooja - Han to
Problem Kya hai
U can remove it na....

Naina saw Pooja

Naina - I want to keep it

She said and her friends looked at eachother

Ud - u know the consequences right?

He asked and she noded.

Alekh - sir ko pata hai

Naina - us din ke bad see koi bat nahi hui...
Pata nahi hogi bhi ya nahi.

She said and Pooja came to her and hugged her tight.

Ud took a deep sigh

Ud - Tere parents ko bataya?

She noded a no

Alekh - agar tune man bana liya hai
To locha Kya hai.
Jo hoga dekhenge....
Himmat ki kami to hai nahi Tere mein...
Tension mat le

He patted her head and she smiled

She quit army after this decision settling down with help of ud in shimla....who owned a guesthouse there .....she now runs a chain travel agencies there .earning enough to raise rehaan in comfort...even her parents supported her in this decision making her life easier

****"
"So cadet rehaan ...all set for today"she asks driving him to school...
Its a big day for him...he nods
"Nervous"she looks at him fidgeting

"Thoda sa tha par all fear flew away....jab dad ne ek trick batayi"he says excited ...

"Accha kaunsi trick..."she asks amused ..

"Wo ek top secret hai mom between me and dad"
And she smiles at him..."okay..suit yourself".she kisses his forehead.

"_mom...baal mat kharab Karo"he frowns and naina makes a face ...

He is indeed like his father ....even in keeping a lot of secrets ...
In the hurdles race...she notices him mumble something...

"The athlete of the year award goes to master rehaan shikhwat"his name is being called out and she claps and cheers with joy.....so proud of him...
Hugging him to herself ...

"Accha champ..mujhe batao....aap race se pehle kya bol rahe the khudse."

"Wo dad ka aur mera secret hair"he
pouts .
"Are ..batao na...Mai kisi ko nai bataungi"she asks..
"Dad me kha tha..jab nervous ho to aankhe band Karo aur khud se kaho..just belive in urself cadet rehan....cause daddy believes in you"....

She stares at him....almost feeling rajveer's presence around her ......smiling with tears in his eyes .....

Looking at peice of his flesh ...and soul.....most treasured belonging of hers.......a gift that he gave before leaving ....

She writes all those letters to rehaan on his Father's behalf ...

Even rehaan writes replies to them.....demanding for play station,cricket bats...narrating what he did at school...how he wants to join army like him as he grows up....

And she steps in his shoes ...of a mentor to think waht to reply to him....how to guide him...

Once rehaan had written to rajveer saying that his girlfriend is leaving the school...and naina had laughed thinking what rajveer sir used to advice huda.regarding matter of heart. ..
Once he had confessed being bullied by some guys in school.....and it reminded her of how rajveer used to instill confidence in ud....regarding these matters ....

Its rehan who never lets her miss him or feel lonely for a second. . she feels as if he is smiling at her and rehan..proudly admiring his own little family......

That night was the most precious night of her life....she still feels him on her skin.....his warm breath on her face ....vivid flashes of that night are enough for her to survive a lifetime without him.....and there is rehaan too.....their son....giving her enough reason to be happy...even in his absence.....one day
He will grow up...and she would have to tell him ..that his fatehr is no more ..but till then they are a happy and content family.....
****"