For a moment, Jessie had panicked at the prospect of getting a phone and a laptop on her own and fast. The moment she reached the convention area, all trances of worry disappeared.

People were bunched in clusters, speaking enthusiastically about code, video games and everything in between. Laptops and phones lay abandoned on tables, ripe for the picking.

She did a sweep of the room and listened in on conversation until she found three guys and a girl discussing cyber security and hacking techniques. The equipment closest to them could have what Jimmy needed to work on the encryption. So she first took a random backpack, then shoved a laptop and phone inside and headed back to their illicit room. She would've felt bad if they weren't leaving the equipment behind for their owners to find. As soon as they were done with it, of course.

When she returned to the room, Jimmy was still pacing, as if he needed an outlet for all his nervous energy.

The moment the door opened, he twisted to face her, his fists clenched, as if ready for a potential threat. She wasn't sure if she was imagining it, but he looked weary as well. When his shoulders untensed, it was with noticeable disappointment.

"Got something for me?" he asked.

She nodded and handed him the backpack with the gear. Even with the weirdness, she knew him well enough to tell that he didn't want to talk. It was a necessity. And to be honest, the aftermath of their spectacular escape was starting to catch up with her and she couldn't handle the pressure of forced conversation.

Jimmy went to the desk and set up the equipment. She stayed by the door, leaning against it, focusing on her body and the pain she was feeling, trying to assess the damage.

Her arms burned and there was a nagging pain in her ribs and one of her knees. It was about time she did something about it.

"How long do you think this might take?" Her voice came out low and defeated.

"A few hours, at least," he mumbled, already probing the content of the laptop. How he got past initial security she didn't know and didn't care to ask.

"Okay. Then I'll go take a shower."

He didn't answer, but she hadn't expected him to. He was too entranced by what he was doing. Not that she blamed him. It was a lot more useful and interesting than thinking about her in the shower.

She had to get used to the idea that this Jimmy was not the one she was in love with, not the one who cared about her. At the moment, it was enough that he was being useful. It had to be enough. Everything could've been so much worse.

With that sobering thought, she locked herself in the bathroom and focused on more immediate and functional things. Such as washing her clothes and checking her body for wounds.

There were bruises, burns and scratches everywhere, but after prodding herself, she came to the conclusion that it wasn't worse than that. She could handle minor injuries. As long as nothing was broken, she could mentally block every other annoying little pain.

So she washed her battered clothes and hung them out to dry. The moment the task was done, she was overtaken by a sudden desire to sleep. To be fair, she'd slept poorly the night before, her dreams plagued by guilt about leaving Jimmy and heading for Chicago. Not that it actually happened.

She was supposed to be landing right about now. What sucked most was that she had no way to let the others know that she'd missed her flight. Or that she desperately needed their help. But if Jimmy managed to offer her a safe line, she'd let them know soon enough.

Staring at herself in the mirror, she went over the numbers she knew by heart. Kyle, Sam, Kay, Jerry. One of them had to answer. And if not, if she really had to, Herrison.

Her eyes were red and tired, her hair was am orange mess, and even if she'd emptied a bottle of water over her face once they'd entered LA, there was still soot on the edges of her hairline. Yes, she really needed that shower.

As the hot water washed over her, she tried her best to keep her mind empty. It was hard when everything that had happened that day tried to invade her, torment her, remind her how close she'd come to dying. Or worse. That part she really did manage to block out. She had before and it wasn't like anything actually happened this time. Hannigan hadn't even touched her properly.

By the time she came out of the shower and disinfected and bandaged all her wounds, she felt more exhausted than ever. She wrapped herself in a fluffy white robe and went back into the room. Jimmy was still in front of the computer, typing away.

She didn't bother talking to him this time, just plummeted on the bed and closed her eyes. She was supposed to be in Chicago, talking to her friends, figuring out what to do, how to get Jimmy out.

He was out. And now, she had no idea what to do next. The darkness was a blessing and a curse at the same time. Her body relaxed and sank into the mattress, but her mind kept going over what she knew, what needed her attention.

She'd destroyed the lab, the research, all their progress. She'd potentially neutered Lee Hannigan.

Hannigan. Why was he even there? Obviously, the Agency had reinstated him, but why had they dropped him in the first place? Did they truly believed he worked for Snitch Gravel, or was he right? Did the Agency remove him just to appease them? Thoughts of explosions and danger filled her vision, soon replaced by Jimmy. The confusion on his face, the short resemblance to his old self, the small show of interest towards his former life, who he was.

He still had his skills, and his intellectual past seemed to be coming back to him in useful bursts. But not his feelings. He was as cold as ever. Maybe the serum had finally done its job and removed every ounce of empathy and affection from his life.

The perfect murder machine. No remorse, no regrets. Just skill and abnormal strength. That was what they wanted, what they tried to create. But had they really ruined him?

Tears slid down the sides of her face and she shut her eyes tighter, trying to empty her mind. She needed help. People to talk to, to run this by. She needed to get out of there.

Bleak images were replaced by a field of yellow tulips. She wasn't sure why they were yellow, but she enjoyed them, laid back in their midst, watching the petals. The sun warmed her face and the flowers swayed in the gentle breeze above her. If she tried hard enough, she could pretend they were a forest, hiding her from the world. Protecting her.

Something warm and soft touched her hand.

Jimmy lay next to her, his eyes closed, a peaceful smile on his face. As if sensing her staring, he turned to her, his eyes like melted chocolate.

"Hey," he said softly.

"Hey," she answered, her heart beating faster, like it always did when he was near.

"It's going to be okay," he said, and she wished she could believe him.

The thing was, if he'd been his old self, she was sure they could face anything together. He rolled over and came on top of her, holding his weight on his forearms. He was so close, if she raised her head the tiniest bit, she could kiss him.

"Why don't you?" he asked.

The truth was, she was afraid. She hadn't been this close to him in so long. And yet it felt like they'd never been apart.

"Hey."

Jessie's eyes fluttered open and she found herself staring into Jimmy's dark brown eyes. Her heart skipped a beat. It took a few seconds for her to realize she was no longer in the tulip field and that Jimmy wasn't on top of her, but sitting on the bed beside her, leaning over her just the tiniest bit. He'd been shaking her shoulder to get her attention.

"What happened?" she mumbled, sitting up. Her head began to throb the moment she became vertical.

"The encryption is almost ready," he said.

"How long have I been asleep?" Her eyes darted towards the window. It was dark outside. She'd left them unprotected for hours and she felt like kicking herself.

"About five hours, I think."

"Five hours?" How could she sleep for so long? It only felt like a minute.

He didn't seem to care. He stood and walked to the door, leaning his back against it again. Jessie rubbed her eyes, willing her mind to kickstart and make sense of things. It was hard.

Why did he even wake her up if not to use the phone? She opened her eyes and stared at the laptop. She could see the progress bar, and it indeed looked as if the encryption was nearly ready. Maybe another few minutes were needed. But it didn't answer her question.

Her eyes moved to Jimmy, taking him in. There was a slight tension in his posture, as if he were trying to keep something in balance. The more she looked, the more little things became obvious. The small crease between his eyebrows, the muscle twitching in his jaw, the beads of sweat on his forehead, the haze in his eyes.

Her own muscles tensed as her body picked up on a danger her mind couldn't compute yet.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"You should get dressed," he said instead.

She blinked and it took her a moment to remember that she was indeed just wearing a bathrobe. Since they were no longer intimate, it seemed to bother him. The thought hurt, but she saw the reason behind his words. If anything happened, it was best for them both to be ready to leave.

So she slid off the bed and headed for the bathroom. Her clothes were fortunately dry, even if crumpled, so she struggled to pull them on. Even after sleeping, her muscles hurt and it was hard to focus properly. Once her tank top was on, she focused on her face. Her hair was a mess of stubborn curls and she looked confused. Much like a cornered animal caught between fear and fight.

"Ugh," she said to her mirror image. "Pull your shit together."

She ran her fingers through her curls, trying to tame them at least a little. As she did, a new thought came to mind. Her hair made her easy to identify. She would have to cut it and dye it if they wanted to go under. The thought was oddly upsetting. Like in a dream, she remembered Jimmy playing with a lock of her hair.

"I love the color. Don't you ever dye it."

Not that he cared now. Not that it mattered anymore. If she had some scissors, she'd get on it right away. She should go find some.

The moment she stepped out of the bathroom, her eyes drifted to the desk on the left of the door, taking in the progress bar. It was nearly done. When she looked towards Jimmy, her heart jumped into her throat. He'd slid to the floor, his face scrunched up in agony.

She hurried over and knelt next to him. "Where does it hurt?"

He didn't answer. His eyes were shut and his head lolled from side to side. One of his hands covered his side. She lifted his t-shirt and moved his hand away. He didn't fight her and seemed to be half-unconscious.

Her pulse drumming in her temples, Jessie prodded his abdomen. His liver felt a little swollen. How had this escaped her?

"Where else?" she asked, her tone commanding.

He didn't speak, but slid his hand to his lower back, just like she expected. His kidneys.

"Come on, let's get you to bed."

He mumbled something, but didn't fight her when she hoisted him up and put him on the bed. She then rushed to the minibar and pulled out a bottle of water. She uncapped it and shoved it in his hand.

"Drink."

He obeyed, some of the water splashing on his front. His hands were shaking, but he managed to finish the bottle. He needed more, so Jessie headed back to the minibar.

Before she could turn, he moved past her and into the bathroom. A second later, she could hear him throwing up.

Shit. Shit, shit, shit!

Tuning her hearing to pay attention to any sound coming from the bathroom in case he might need her, she took the sheet containing the results of the clinical trial and spread it on the bed. She should've read this more carefully, should've seen it coming.

Her eyes took in the substances he was injected and fed and identified those meant to protect his liver and kidneys. Of course his organs would have trouble processing that amount of drugs, and now that he'd quit cold turkey, of course he was going through massive withdrawal. From everything.

All those drugs. And she'd taken a nap instead of looking over this properly. Valium. They'd been giving it to him with every meal to make sure he stayed calm, controlled. They'd had him on fucking fentanyl.

Her eyes filled with tears as she continued to analyze the list of substances. The combinations could've killed him a million times over and she suspected the only reason he was still alive and functioning was the serum. But that also rose the issue of what the serum would do once it didn't have to fight foreign drugs. Would it turn against Jimmy and kill him off?

She dropped the chart and headed for the bathroom. Jimmy lay on the floor, his cheek pressed against the tiles, his eyes half-open. She sat next to him, trying not to start crying.

"What's happening to me?" he whispered.

"You're going into withdrawal after all those drugs," she said. Her voice came out calm and certain.

"Valium," he mumbled.

"I think your organs could use a break from having to process any kind of drug."

"Fair enough. I don't like drugs anyway." He looked up at her. His pupils were huge. "They only hide the problem. Don't get rid of it."

"This time the drugs are the problem," she said at the same time he said, "Just like in Paris."

Jessie froze. "What did you just say?"

He winced and struggled to sit up. "In Paris. They gave me drugs to numb me out. It was horrible. I felt like I was trapped inside myself."

"I can't believe you remembered that."

He tilted his head. "Yeah. Passing thought. Made the connection with the current situation."

She opened her mouth, wanting to ask him what else he remembered about Paris. His brothers? Nearly dying? Them making love for the first time? But she couldn't. She didn't want to push when he obviously felt like crap.

"I need to lay down."

She helped him stand and walk to the bed. The moment he crashed on the mattress, he closed his eyes. His forehead was drenched in sweat again within moments, but Jessie knew there was nothing she could do for him. Just let him rest and wait for his body to stop craving the things.

All the while, she moved to the computer and started researching how withdrawal worked and how long it would take. Either way, they were both in for a long night.

🏯

The black hole still tried to pull him in its mist, claim his mind and crush the little amount of independence he'd managed to gain. It would be easy to give in, let go. It would numb the pain, he was sure of it.

But he was also sure that there was a chance he'd never come out of there. This was his chance. Ever since he'd built the mental image of the hole to justify his lack of memories and the numbness inside him, it had never been so small. So weak.

She was right. He could do this. All he had to do was fight and focus on the things that made him feel.

The sound of crashing furniture rang in his ears, but he was convinced it was all in his head, coming from the hole. It loved to make him smash things. Not this time. There was something else inside himself, someone else. Someone who made sense. Someone she wanted to help. Because it sure as hell wasn't this shell she was fighting for.

Who was she?

Jessie.

I can't believe you remembered that.

There was something about Paris. He'd felt it in her voice. The need to know more, to ask him more. But he didn't have anything but the feeling of being trapped inside himself by drugs. Much like he was now.

There had been no black hole back then. He'd been in charge of his world, of his perception, of his memories.

Paris. In his confused mind, Paris was another word for pain.

Running. So much running. Darkness. Hitting things until his bones ached, until his knuckles bled. Then needles. So many needles.

It has to be working. Just look at the strength of his hits! We're close, so close.

We can't let him out like this. We need to make sure his mind is on our side, that we can control him.

Control. Always control. Always putting his mind to sleep and pumping more drugs into him. Deep inside, he knew they'd managed nothing. He already had what they wanted from a different source. Their experiment was a dud. Their dream of creating super soldiers was lost because they've chosen the wrong test subject.

We need more test subjects. We need to make sure it's doing what it's supposed to do.

He's perfect!

But do you think he'll take on his own brother? Defeat him?

Paris. Kyle. They were trying to make a weapon against Kyle.

And through the haze, he could see his brother's face. The smile on it, the happiness. The fear once the serum took hold of him. Jimmy knew it could happen to him, too. They've discussed it. They were in this together.

His brother. His brothers. Tom...

The images blurred and danced around his head until he couldn't make sense of them anymore.

Paris. Tom shot, Kyle stabbed, Sam in a coma. Jerry. His twin. He had a twin.

Space. Void. So much void. The hole was taking over again.

"Come on. You need to drink more water."

He opened his eyes and blinked. She was next to him, holding a bottle, looking exhausted. Orange curls framed her face, and he fought the impulse to run his fingers through her hair. Her green eyes reminded him of a jungle for some reason.

"Thanks." His voice was croaky. He took the bottle and pulled himself against the headboard. His entire body ached with the movement, but it wasn't unbearable.

She gave him a small smile and moved towards the laptop. The phone was no longer connected so he guessed the encryption was ready. His stomach protested once he drank the water, but he forced himself to keep it down and not throw up again.

"How long have I been under?" he asked, placing the empty bottle on the nightstand.

She glanced at him warily, as if afraid he'd fly off the handle. It took him a sweep of the room to notice why. Every bit of furniture that wasn't pinned to the floor lay in tatters.

"Oh. I thought I only imagined that bit. Sorry for scaring you." The words were weird, coming out of his mouth without him thinking them. "I didn't hurt you, did I?"

She shook her head. "I've long learned how to deal with you."

Why? But the question wouldn't come out. "So, how long?"

"About twelve hours now."

Shit, that sounded like a lot. "We need to get out of here."

"Agreed." She placed the phone to hear ear and waited, biting her lower lip.

He felt like a useless piece of shit for some reason. Trying to at least be useful, he eased himself to the edge of the bed. His stomach churned and his vision blurred for a moment, but then everything stabilized. He leaned his elbows on his knees and pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes.

The darkness and cold of the touch managed to sober him a little and he could force his mind to focus on what had happened.

He'd escaped the facility where they'd been testing drugs on him. This place was supposed to be temporary until she contacted help. But then he'd crashed for twelve hours and it was a wonder they weren't both dead yet.

Contact help. He raised his eyes and turned to her. "Aren't they picking up?"

She shook her head, her lower lip trembling. "Not Kyle, not Sam, not Jerry or Kay. Not even Herrison."

Kyle. Jerry. His head hurt to burst again and he pressed his temples to contain it.

"Do you need more time?" she asked.

"We don't have more time."

"I know that. But I don't know where we should go. Maybe out of California until we manage to contact them. It's not like we can drive to Chicago."

The name of the city gave him another headache, but he forced himself to his feet. "The serum."

She lowered her phone and watched him warily. "What about it?"

"Do you know what it does?"

"I know a few things. It enhances your strength, endurance and stamina. Also your healing speed. It also likes to turn you into a rampaging, remorseless beast, but you used to have that under control."

Under control... What she said made sense, felt true, except for that last part. It chipped away at him. This felt like it. Numbing his feelings.

"Numbs my feelings," he whispered.

She sighed. "Yes, that too. But right now I'm hoping it will flush the drugs out faster. It doesn't like to share. I can't even drink anymore."

He frowned. "Wait, you have it, too? I thought it was just me and Kyle. How many people...?" He trailed off once her face turned crimson.

"You remembered Kyle!" There was surprise and joy in her voice which didn't explain the blush.

"Yes. On some level I remember all of them. But just a passing thought. If I try to focus on anything, I lose it. But the serum..."

"Oh, I sort of have it, but not like you and Kyle. Look, I'll explain later. Right now..." She stuck the phone to hear ear again and turned away from him.

He frowned, willing his mind to make sense of her behavior because he knew he should be able to. It had something to do with Paris, he was sure of it. He closed his eyes, forcing his mind to focus, to go there.

Jessie looked at him, her green eyes shining, her face flushed, her hair disheveled. Her smile could light up the world.

"That was... You are the most amazing... God, I can't even..." Smile still on her face, she turned away from him. When he had her attention again, it felt like heaven. "We should do this more often."

Yet there was something wrong with what they'd done. What did they do? The sudden feeling of her skin against his was so powerful, it almost knocked him off his feet.

"Are you okay?"

He opened his eyes. Jessie lowered her phone and charged at him, but stopped once she realized he wasn't falling over. He reached his hand out as if to stop her and she placed her hand over his. Just like she had at the facility, only this time there was no glass between them. The heat of her touch was so familiar.

"Did we...?" He lost his train of thought, fascinated by their hands.

He entwined his fingers between hers. It felt natural, felt right. Something inside his chest heaved, as if a huge structure was put in motion.

Before he could make sense of it, she sucked air through her teeth and pulled her hand back. She raised her left wrist and stared at her watch which was blinking red. Even if a blinking watch made no sense, it stirred something inside his foggy memory.

"No," she whispered, dropping on the bed.

"What's going on?" He came next to her and looked at the watch, too. Kyle's name was on the red screen. Seeing it made his stomach convulse with fear. "Is he alright?"

"No. No, no, no..."

It kept blinking and blinking, but nothing happened.

"Where is he?"

Jessie's head jolted and she looked up at him, her eyes wide. "You're a genius." She pressed a few buttons on her watch and Kyle's name was replaced by numbers. Jimmy immediately wrote them down on a piece of stationary from the hotel. The moment he was done, the blinking stopped.

"Fuck!" she said. "Let me have those."

"Care to explain?" he asked as she typed the numbers into the search bar.

She pulled back from the computer, a frown on her face. "Hiraizumi? Japan? They're in Japan?"

"Who's in Japan?" He felt so slow for asking that, but all the information was making his shut down again. He had to put everything into not blacking out again.

After staring at the screen for another few moments, she turned to him. "Kyle is. And most likely everyone else. That's why they weren't answering their phones. Something happened and they're in Japan. And what you saw just now... That's never happened before. It means Kyle's still in trouble, but couldn't leave the signal on. It was solely for tracking purposes."

"So we're getting no help."

"No. We are the help now. We need to get to Japan."

Even if he couldn't fully process what was going on, his body and former mind seemed to know what had to be done. Details started forming inside his brain, sending words to his mouth.

"We need disguises and some money. And fake IDs."

Jessie bit her lower lip. "I've been thinking about that, too. I need to cut my hair and dye it, and you--"

"Don't dye your hair." The words were out before he could filter them. He knew he shouldn't care, but it suddenly felt important that she listened. "I'll dye mine."

She smiled, even if it was obvious she was trying not to. "Okay. If I cut it short enough, I should be able to hide it under a hood or a baseball cap. As for the rest of our supplies..."

The smile slipped off her face again. She took in a deep breath, as if steeling herself, then picked up the phone again. This time, whoever she called actually answered.

"Phillip, we have a situation. I'm going to need your help."

🏯🏯🏯

Fun Fact: I love the attached song. And I think the line about life being beautifully ugly at times suits this chapter very well.

Bam! You get a Jimmy POV. Isn't that wonderful?

I enjoyed writing this chapter even if it's mostly set up for what happens next. I know you might also be very curious what happened to the others, but I'm playing catchup with the time line. Yes, flights to Japan take a lot, lol. Good thing it gave Jimmy some time to recover.

His recovery is something fairly hard for me to handle, but I'm doing my best with his feelings as well as Jessie's. There was some really important info here, like the reason they're trying to recreate the serum.

Also, right here at the end... Well, some shit is about to go down.

Vote and comment for support and here's to hoping I actually get to writing soon because I haven't in a long while and I'm diminishing my backlog.