She would crash him.

    As Anila walked slowly towards Sidoreli's car while he was waiting for her inside the car parked next to the building with powder pink walls to the left of the bar, where she had suggested they meet, she saw, as a vision on the future horizon, only that conclusion from the date between them.

    Because they were total opposites, they had initially been attracted to each other, and now, as she had said, only the collision was left.

    Perhaps he would crash her first; Anila couldn't say for sure that she would be the only one who would hit, but if she was not careful, the total destruction of both of them would be inevitable.

    Giving up while she was on time seemed like part of that caution. What had she been thinking? With all those traumas in the form of monsters lurking in the dark in her mind, ready to surprise her with memories of the past, how could she throw Sidoreli onto the battlefield by making him a part of her life? He didn't deserve such a trap. He probably was a warrior himself, with a past full of scratches, but he was very good at hiding them.

    To give in to the pain and leave, since she had not been noticed by him yet, so as not to cause more pain.

    She stood, without moving, next to the bar on her right.

    Sidoreli was watching calmly the other side of the road.

    Her heart cried out to her, through the emphasis of the beating sound, to go ahead and overpower the scream of reasoning that she should not go to that date. Otherwise, there would be no turning back and no possibility of choosing another course with fewer consequences.

    She lifted her left foot, just slightly off the grey and pale pastel-red bricked ground, in the direction behind her to walk away.

    Sidoreli tilted his head to her side; he looked in detail at the black bag with a strap on her right arm, the soft grey jeans she was wearing, the black trainers, and the royal blue sweater, and then returned to her eyes, which expressed a dilemma about whether she should continue towards him or not.

    He made no move when Anila turned her back and walked in the opposite direction. Ignoring the need for his legs to rush towards her and convince her not to give up, he waited for her to return on her own.

    Anila stopped and inhaled acutely, unsure if she was doing the right thing or not. She closed her eyes tightly and turned her gaze to Sidoreli. He was waiting for her. She vented, regretting that she had panicked and made a hasty decision to retreat.

    How did she expect to break away from the past when she was the very person who was holding it prisoner? Now, even if she came back, he had the right to scold her for playing like that. Would she like it if someone paid her back with the same coin? He didn't think so.

    Anila turned around to face Sidoreli and walked towards him. She would tell him the truth, that she was caught up in the dilemma, that she was sorry, that it seemed as if she was playing, and she would understand, if he wanted, which was clearly understood, that he was going to wish for them not to continue the date any longer and that there would be no more informal communication between them, apart from formal and the latter necessarily from work.

    He got out of the car and waited for her next to the bar. She rouged in embarrassment as she got close enough to clearly see his strong, judging gaze upon her. If she left without saying anything, he probably wouldn't talk to her at all or stop her, but she would make the situation worse. She had to stick to the plan made a while ago, whatever his verbal response was.

    "It's a good thing that the world has honest people." Sidorel crossed his arms in front of him. "Otherwise, I don't know how we would have afforded your beauty."

    Anila released her held breath and smiled, freed from that compliment, a sign that he was giving her another chance.

    "Thank you." Her cheekbones took on a more pronounced pink from his staring gaze. "And it seems to me that you won't be able to get rid of the shirts anymore, boss," she quietly reminded him of the job he now had through the white shirt he was wearing under the closed brown sweatshirt, both combined with the grey quartz trousers and white trainers, and Sidoreli grinned slightly.

    "Extraordinary people deserve extraordinary care," he justified himself, and Anila smiled too. "Shall we?"

    She nodded in approval, and Sidoreli opened the bar door for her. They chose to sit on the edge of the bar next to the light grey brick wall.

    "Are you OK?" he asked her when Anila got comfortable in the black chair, and, after receiving approval as an answer from her, he also sat in front of her.

    They ordered and looked at each other, aware that there was something romantic between them, which catalysed the increase of emotions.

    "How was your work today?" she asked. "Are you getting used to the new tasks?"

    "What can I say?" Sidoreli raised his shoulders as if stressed. "It's hard to be a perfect person. There are all those responsibilities."

    Anila smiled lightly.

    "I wonder how you manage to be one," he meant with that guess that she was such a person too.

    "You will take the hand to it easily. You seem like a quick learner."

    "Do I, now? And what kind of student are you?"

    Anila deciphered his flirtatious question and the curious gaze on her; she slowly lined her lips and closed her eyes to look more attractive.

    "It depends on what I am asked to learn," she said the implication of that answer with a playful look and understood that he wanted to follow the flirting but also to be careful not to affect her negatively.

    "So it's up to the professor?"

    "Yes," Anila continued. "And how he explains," this time she smiled lightly, to make it look like she wasn't talking about the topic he thought they were talking about and to appear like an innocent person in front of him.

    The waitress noticed that she had interrupted them at an inappropriate moment and hurriedly served the requested drinks to leave them alone.

    "Sidorel."

    He understood from the soft and serious tone of her voice that they were going to talk about something that had no place for games like before.

    "I... greatly appreciate what you did for me at the company, but I don't want you to be deprived of the drawing from me. There is no need to do something you don't want."

    "And I greatly appreciate that you appreciate my gesture. I don't mind working at all."

    "How did you get the post of administrator?"

    "I had applied for the job as an office coordinator there the day we spoke in the products room." Sidoreli remained silent about the reason why he had been asked to work in that role. "Then I found out that Majlinda was leaving; I understood why you left the event, and I applied for the administration post for you. I have studied Business Management. I wanted to have another profession, to be prepared for life, in case it happened that I wouldn't be able to do tattoos or drawings."

    "I see. I have only a Bachelor's degree in English," Anila said. "I had planned to be a translator, but I ended up in business and dating a tattoo artist."

    "How interesting your life has become now, hasn't it?" he laughed happily.

    "Like yours," Anila replied.

    "Like mine," Sidoreli admitted. "Can I ask you something?"

    "Sure."

    "That man, the day you told me you were on a date, who was he?"

    Anila pursed her lips unhappily.

    "My sister's boyfriend."

    He laughed at her reaction. "You don't like him because he has a tattoo, or simply because he is your sister's boyfriend?"

    "Because he's my sister's boyfriend. I worry that he may be playing with her. It seemed that he was serious, but..."

    "But if he is not, break his ribs."

    "You're right," Anila agreed, more motivated. "And his legs too..."

    "His legs too..." He thought it was a very good idea. "To hide the evidence, then, I know some people."

    "You and I will get along very well together," she confidently predicted, and Sidoreli chuckled.

    "What's the reason you don't like tattoos?"

    "I have nothing personal with anyone," Anila clarified. "I just don't like getting any tattoos done on my body."

    "So, you don't mind if I get a tattoo done," he tested her. "You would still go on a date with me."

    She tried to speak but remained silent, caught up in the dilemma.

    "Now, it depends on what tattoo you get done," she specified. "I don't like it when people make all those tattoos on their faces, and not only. Not that I am asking them to do as I please, but as long as their presence affects my life, I have the right to decide what energy to allow in it or not. Small tattoos are cute, for example," she added as a sign of compromise, and she immediately felt discomfort running through her body when she remembered them. "No, I don't like them." She gave up, unable to adapt to the new thought, making him laugh. "I can't like any type of tattoo. But for you, I would consider it something artistic if you decide to get any tattoos done. Meaning that we would go out again."

    "I'd rather not risk," he decided.

    Anila looked at the silver pendant around his neck, with a part covered under his shirt, and then at him. "May I know what a pendant that is?"

    Sidoreli exposed the entire chain on his sweatshirt, and Anila was stunned for a moment when she encountered the small cross, the symbol of Christians. Maybe he kept that pendant on as a memento for someone special to him.

    "Are you a Christian?" she asked, threatened by the sadness that that meeting would end with his decision not to go out with her anymore.

    "Yes."

    "I am Muslim," Anila immediately confessed.

    "I don't mind at all," he said calmly. "Do you mind?"

    "No," she answered, promptly relieved.

    "Let me go!" Anila moved her body to free herself from his strong grip, an action that earned her a slap in her face from him.

    He let her fall and then violently dragged her up again.

    "Blerim!" she cried from the pain on the left side of her face to persuade him to stop, but he didn't bother at all to put the water on fire, not even to think about her.

    She lowered her gaze to the table as soon as she recalled that fragment of the nightmare between her and Blerimi, and she tried to stop herself, not to bring to mind the continuation of that fragment.

    Blerimi pulled her towards her bedroom, pushed her on the bed, and immediately blocked her body with his so that Anila wouldn't be able move.

"Shh! This won't hurt you," was his only reaction to Anila's muffled screams and her pleading with tears in her eyes from the trauma that he was causing her, for Blerimi to stop.

    "Did you regret the date?"

    His question made her raise her serious gaze, without hiding in time the trauma she was feeling and falling mercilessly inside herself.

    "I..." Sidoreli was in awe at how beautiful she looked at those moments, as if she had the sun above her head, and her face took on an unusual glow, the colour of a sweeter hue, as were her eyes and other features. "If you want to leave, I don't mind at all." At least it wasn't obvious that he was bewitched by her through speaking in a disjointed manner; as for his eyes, he knew that they had betrayed him a long time ago, showing through staring what he was thinking about her. "I know that you're not expecting permission from me, but if you're staying out of obligation, as I told you, you're free to leave whenever you want."

    "I didn't regret it," she smiled sweetly, feeling calmer. Memories of the past were hidden by Sidorel's presence and the way he was treating her. "Is drawing only your profession in your family?"

    "Yes. I have four brothers and one sister."

    Anila remembered the information she had received from Blerta six years ago about her.

    "I'm the second brother. Leonardi is the first; he works as a pilot, is married, and has two children, a son and a daughter. After me, there are the two twins, Gabrieli and Emanueli. Emanueli is married and runs a gym here in Tirana. Gabrieli lives in Italy with our sister, Alketa. She studies Veterinary Medicine and Gabrieli is a dentist. There is also Mateo, born before Alketa, and he works with Emanueli in the gym. We're four years apart in the order in which we were born, except for the twins with each other."

    "Who did you do the most drawing assignments for?"

    "All the other siblings, except for Emanueli," he said with a laugh. "Never to Emanueli. He was determined to take every result with his merits, no matter what, while others just wanted to get rid of their homework. It wasn't fair, I admit, but I put my hobby before fairness. I just wanted to draw."

    "Has drawing always been easy for you, or did you like it even though it seemed difficult, and you didn't give up on it?" Anila liked how he spoke so lovingly about that kind of art and how his eyes were filled with light when it came to the drawings.

    "Always; it was like breathing; it came naturally, and it keeps coming."

    "But you must find something difficult to draw it as you wish. Or are you that perfect, tattoo artist?" she teased.

    "No, no. That is your profession," Sidoreli smiled flirtatiously. "People's eyes," he kept the same calm and laid-back tone of voice as until those moments when he answered. "I don't know why I always draw them sad; no matter how much I edit them, no matter how much I try, I have no idea why my hand just goes like that."

    "Maybe because you attract the opposite of the emotional state you have."

    "You think I am that attractive?" He bantered teasingly, and Anila shook her head lightly as she laughed at that question.

    "Are you from Tirana?"

    Sidoreli tilted his head back, revealing his neck and accentuating the sharpness of his jaws, and he laughed at her avoidance.

    "What?" Anila challenged him excitedly so that he could speak.

    "OK," Sidoreli said. "I'm leaving the answer to the question I asked you to get at the next meeting."

    She was enlivened that he wanted them to hang out together again.

    "Who will choose the place?" She displayed with that question that she accepted his invitation.

    "I am open to suggestions," Sidoreli offered. "But, if you want, I can choose it and make it a surprise for you."

    "Okay," Anila agreed, and they both drank from the drinks they had ordered.

    "Do you live alone in Tirana or with your sister?" he asked with the warning in his mind to be careful and not to touch any subject that could make her feel bad.

    "My sister and both parents. I am from Elbasan. And I don't like ballokumes."

    He let out a laugh.

    "I'm from Tirana. For now, I live alone. My parents, Mateo and Emanueli, along with his family, are here too. I often go to my parents' house on weekends."

    "Which parent do you look more like?"

    "My Dad."

    From his smile and the love in his gentle gaze, she understood that he had a good relationship with his father and how much she missed expressing love to her Dad.

    Out of fear that something might happen to her from him, as from Blerimi, they only met at meals; the rest of the time she was either locked in her room or was at work. She couldn't risk her father misunderstanding any of her gestures towards him; that's why she locked the door of her room when she slept and kept a knife under her pillow for safety.

    "Do you have Instagram?"

    Anila suspected that he knew the answer before he was told but was asking, so as not to be seen, that he had searched for her.

    "Just a work account. I also had a personal one, but I don't know why Instagram logged me out of it itself six years ago. Although I sent the confirmation that it's my account, I still have not received access. Nor has it been deleted from the reports I made."

    She was left with her hand on her heart for fear that, if the video of Blerimi and her were published, someone would take her photos and edit them as they wished, to shame her or steal her account and post inappropriate material on her behalf.

    "This happened to me in June with my address, but it only lasted a few days. Then I took it again."

    Anila became curious to know if that had happened to him before she liked his post or after. She couldn't ask him so that he wouldn't suspect and find out that she had been the one with that account, to which she had changed its username.

    "What's your username? To follow you," Sidoreli took his phone off the white table.

    " @ba_niashop ," she said the first two letters separately.

    Anila saw her screen lit up by the newly arrived notification, which, instead of reading as it was, '@sidorel_nura started following you', she read '@sidorel_nura started f**king you'.

    She pursed her lips, abashed by the mistake in her reading and the fact that Sidorel Nura, about whom the notification was, was very close to her, and she clicked on his profile to follow him as well.

    "I just sent you the follow request," she told, as calmly as she could, so that she wouldn't think of another word instead of 'follow'. "What is the meaning of the numbers in your bio?"

    "They are my family's birthday dates," he replied. "Only because you're a good person, I am accepting it," Sidoreli informed her. "Don't flatter yourself."

    "No, no. That is your profession."

    Her irony made him grin jauntily.

    He knew that he would not be able to keep his date with Anila a secret for too long without Leonardi finding out.

    His brother wasn't going to care at all about the arguments that, after some time passed and Anila got to know him better, Sidoreli would tell her everything and she would understand. Leonardi would insist on him not meeting her again since they hadn't suffered more and the whole family was in danger because of his fault.

    Leonardi's suggestion was the right decision that Sidoreli didn't want to accept, but that decision didn't seem to be the only one.

    She would believe him. Sidoreli only needed a little time, and he was sure that, when he would tell her the truth, Anila would be on his side.