38• To Never Meet Again!
"Which room is Nora in?" Ardiani asked.
"That one," Graniti gestured with a look from the door to his left, and his father followed that direction.
If life had happened like he had planned, he probably wouldn't have been in that house that evening, and Graniti and Leonora wouldn't have existed at all.
Ardiani had never liked children. He had decided, after turning eighteen, that only when he was thirty would he think about creating a family. Until then, he would have a career, travel around the world, and have fun with his friends. A romantic relationship required a lot of responsibility that he didn't have to take on his shoulders so early on.
His father had turned everything upside down with his dictate to marry Agron Stefa's daughter, Zana, because, according to him, that was the only way to end the curse that had threatened their family from that land taken unjustly from Zana's family, and the life of the only brother Ardiani had, Kastrioti, was in danger.
'We need a life,' his father had argued. 'Had it been for money, I would have given them long ago. They aren't more important than my child, because they come and go, but they are worth nothing. Except for your kid. Only he or she can break the curse. Or would you like to have your brother killed? This must be the reason you don't accept.' He had accused Ardiani.
He had accepted; he had been married; Graniti had been born; Ardiani hadn't experienced any special feelings for him; Kastrioti hadn't died; and Ardiani and Zana had continued their marriage, feeling as if they were in an eternal prison.
Teuta had simply been an option offered to him to break the monotony, which had multiplied with the arrival of Leonora in his life; he had made no reaction when Zana hadn't talked to him at all after finding out about his cheating, nor when she had told him that she had aborted their second child. He had just continued life in survival mode in the dark without being interested in knowing what was happening to his family, and he had recovered from that situation only after he had secretly heard Graniti's conversation with his friend, Pavlin Dani, about the accident his son had caused Agustin and Albion Huba to protect Leonora.
That secret had been like lightning that doesn't take long to destroy; within a second of its blow, it can devastate. That had shaken him and reminded him of the time when Graniti had been a child, and Ardiani had always left him free so that he could live without restrictions, since he himself hadn't been able to live such a life, while in those moments he had understood how great the consequences of his negligence towards his family had been; the first child had been forced to kill people, the daughter, he had no idea where she was, and the third child hadn't been able to even see the world for a second. He hadn't been able to protect any of them.
"Could you fix every business in America?"
"Yes," Graniti said. "Her husband's will tired us a little because he had left all his wealth to her, but Nora will give it to a charity organisation."
"Good of her."
Leonora swallowed with her heart in her throat as soon as she recognised her father's voice and approached the door with silent steps. Her hands were shaking from the tension that had gripped her all over, and they were playing with her like a spider with its prey caught in its web.
"Did you prepare her that dinner?"
She heard Ardiani ask seriously, and a lump in her throat froze her.
In the area where she had lived in Puka, that question also had the hidden meanings, 'Were you glad that she died?' and 'Did you kill her?'.
"Yes," she recognised Graniti's voice with the same tone level. "She won't bother her anymore."
They were probably talking about someone with whom they hadn't gotten along and who had passed away, not because of their fault. But who won't bother whom?
From the kitchen, they heard the sound of a pot lid falling to the floor.
"Mom!" Graniti warned her immediately.
"I'm not cooking!" Zana swore. "I'm just checking the soup."
The wish to see their faces too, in addition to hearing voices, prompted Leonora to open the door slowly and enter the living room.
Ardiani, sitting on the sofa to Graniti's left side, turned his head first to her, and her heart skipped a beat at the sight of all the longing and need for her in his life, which her father gave her. His short red hair had turned a darker shade of red, his pale electric blue eyes expressed the same calm and unwavering seriousness as she remembered him, and he wore a blue closed-to-green sweater and black jeans.
"Oh, come, Nora." He stood up and waited for his daughter to yell at him for the difficult past she had lived because of his fault, but she only looked scared that Ardiani would misbehave with her.
Leonora looked at Graniti standing up as well for her safety and slowed her walk towards their father, who was as tall as his son, and she was tall just over his shoulder.
Zana came out of the kitchen.
Leonora allowed the shock to overwhelm her with the anxiety that she would receive the same hateful look from her stepmother as years ago.
Of all those who had looked at her in that way, she had always been affected by Zana the most, for it hadn't been only the hatred of a woman but also of a mother that had always broken her heart every time it hit her, but now that mother was looking at her, smiling with the classic positivity given by her to the people she loved, it seemed as if she wanted to make Leonora a part of that group as well.
She was convinced that she had made the right decision to forgive her and her father when she saw with her own eyes how much they had both suffered in silence for the mistakes they had made and the fact that they had suspected that she wouldn't forgive them or give them a chance to apologise to her. They had been punished enough by living in fear until those moments.
"How are you?" Leonora approached Ardiani first to greet him.
"Now that we saw you, we're fine." He stretched his arms and hugged her.
He held her fragile body, overjoyed that his daughter had returned home, ready to beg for forgiveness and do anything to deserve it.
"My child," was the sentence said in a low voice by him, which almost broke Leonora's barriers of restraint, not to cry.
She hugged her father tightly, and another locked lock disappeared from the door, which was keeping her imprisoned, thanks to the love she had taken from him.
Leonora looked longingly into his eyes and turned to Zana, who was waiting, to hug her as well.
She had held a grudge against her family because they hadn't supported her in getting a divorce from Ardiani when she found out about his cheating and had been forced to continue her marriage with him, but she had made the same mistake herself by not supporting Leonora and abandoning the girl to the mercy of fate, when she should have been the first one to not let her fall.
Zana had fallen prey to society's gossip. She had copied them and had always looked down on Leonora as the child of an immoral woman, who in the future would become just like her mother, since the pear always fell under the pear tree, instead of following her sister's advice to consider Leonora as her child, because it wasn't always blood that was the reason why two people were considered family, it could happen that in the future Leonora would stay by her side more than Graniti.
Leonora hugged her body tight, smelled the parent's good scent, and rested her head with her soul feeling more at peace than ever on Zana's shoulder. Ardiani stroked her hair as she sat down next to him and his wife to her left.
"How are you?"
"I'm great, Dad." Leonora smiled at him so that he could see in her face that she was really good and not feel more guilty, and then she looked at Zana, who arched her lips and touched her arm.
"Granit, did you sleep when you came home?" she asked him.
"No, I didn't need to," her son answered while using his phone.
"What would you like to drink?" Zana turned to Leonora. "We bought some chocolates on our way here, since you like them a lot."
"Thank you," she felt grateful. "How is Anxhelina?"
"Very good. She will be a grandmother after three months." Zana's green eyes shone with joy.
"This is great news." Leonora widened her eyes with the same feeling. "From Argita or Besiana?" she asked about Anxhelina's two daughters.
"Argita, the first child," Zana emphasised, looking closely at Graniti, but he gave no signs that he had guessed that that specification had been a bell for him.
Ardiani asked her not to pressure the boy for marriage without adding that he didn't want him to be forced to follow an unwanted path, like the two of them had been, but Zana couldn't remain silent for long when she noticed that Graniti took the suitable age for marriage for granted, as if he would always be in his thirties.
Leonora laughed and looked at her father, while the latter was watching television. She felt safe in his calmness, as if everything was in order in their lives because Ardiani had the solution prepared for everything. She caught his attention by placing her hand on his forearm and smiling at him when he turned his head to look at her, took her hand, and kissed it.
Zana rubbed her back as she contemplated the love in Ardiani's eyes for his daughter. Both had made a serious mistake in thinking that they alone had been the victims throughout the beginning of their shared history; they had sacrificed and neglected their children's feelings.
Now Graniti had given them the opportunity, with his support and the bringing of Leonora among them, to make the rest of their lives peaceful, and they would try to recover from the mistakes of the past by being close to both of them and giving only love. That would heal the four of them.
"Have you thought about what you want to do to learn a profession, Nora? School or taking a course?" asked Ardiani.
"I have," she said. "I need to find a job first, to pay the rent, where I'm going to live, and then I'll do a course for hairstyling."
"Very good; you make very beautiful models." Zana encouraged her, while Ardiani looked at her seriously for a few moments.
"You only have to find out where you want to take the course. Graniti and I will think about the house and the payment," her father said.
"As you command, Ardian," Graniti agreed.
"Graniti has its own business, Dad." Leonora replied.
"Business? What business?" Ardiani asked vaguely. "He has no business. Do you have any?" he returned to his son.
"That's out of the question," the latter answered trenchantly.
"Well... maybe he wants to create his own family."
Graniti looked forthwith at his sister after that assumption from her.
"Like Dad said. No further discussion." He focused on his phone again.
"Shall I set the table and have dinner?" Zana asked Ardiani. "It's almost eight o'clock."
"As the children say," he answered.
"OK," Graniti agreed.
"Can I help you?" Leonora offered.
"Sure, come," Zana said happily, and they both went to the kitchen. "Ardian, your phone is ringing," she called as soon as she heard it vibrating in the pocket of his black coat.
He stood up and took the phone, quivering her hand.
She told Leonora to take out four plates from the shelf along with the spoons and glasses, and Leonora promptly obeyed.
She handed her the first plate and was worried when Zana looked lost in thoughts that maybe she was thinking about the times when she had hated her and was starting to feel the same way about her again.
"Are you okay?" Leonora asked, afraid of the look she was going to get.
"I should have thought about you too." Zana placed the plate of soup to the left of the pan and turned tearfully towards Leonora. "It was your right to have a sister. I'm so sorry for leaving you alone!"
"Oh, Zana." Leonora hugged her tightly, and her eyes burned with tears.
She had suffered a lot from the lack of such a person in her life, and there hadn't been a day when she hadn't thought about how life would have been if that girl had been born, but she couldn't imagine the suffering of Zana from the depression state where she had been; no one had stood by her side, and she had been forced to take such a decision prompted by the crushing pain of her soul.
What if she had killed herself? Leonora couldn't think how much more broken Zana, her father, and Graniti would have been. She was very gleeful that she had chosen life.
"We have each other." Leonora broke away from her and wiped her tears.
"Yes," Zana agreed, smiling, and she kissed her on the cheek.
"Mom, do you need any help?" Graniti asked from the living room.
"No, don't worry," she answered, and together with Leonora, they set the table in the kitchen.
"Where are you going to work, Nora? Here in Tirana or in Puka?"
"I have thought..."
"What did you say to Nora now?" Graniti entered the kitchen.
" 'Where are you going to work?' I said," Zana repeated.
"Of course in Tirana, Mom. What will she do in Puka? Puka is over as a place."
"Puka is on its best day. It's arranged very nicely lately."
"You know it yourself," he said to Leonora. "But I would choose Tirana."
"You mind your own mistakes," scolded Zana. "Why haven't you added lentils to the soup? Do you know you are magnesium-deficient? You need to consume lentils."
"Who told you about the magnesium?" he asked.
"The television," answered his mother seriously. "A doctor said, 'If you have sleep disorders,' as you do, 'it means that you're magnesium deficient, and you should eat avocados, lentils, or dark chocolate.' If you don't have these, you should meditate."
"I should what?" Graniti widened his eyes at what she was saying.
"You Granit to meditate." Leonora couldn't hold back her laughter.
He shook his head at that absurd guess.
"But it helps you a lot, they said." Zana didn't understand why she wasn't being taken seriously.
"Mom, don't believe everything people say on TV," Graniti advised her. "Dad tells you to listen to such things?" He furrowed his eyebrows, disgruntled. "I'll talk to him."
"Granit!"
The stern tone of Ardiani's voice froze Leonora in fear, and she didn't feel a drop of blood left on her face when he came out of the bedroom where he had been talking on the phone and looked very harshly at Graniti, who was imposed to think that he shouldn't have shown so much disrespect as to think himself sufficiently in a position to criticise him.
"Don't you dare talk about Puka like that anymore!" Ardiani commanded him. "Understood? Let this be the first and last time."
"Dad," Leonora was filled with breath and laughed, relieved. "I thought you were mad at what he said about the TV."
"No, for that, he can talk as much as he wants. No one's listening to him." Ardiani moved her hair behind her back, and she rested her head on his shoulder. "Where do you want to sit?"
"Me and Nora here," Graniti pointed to the chairs from the side of the wall. "You in front of us."
The three accepted his suggestion, and they all sat down to have dinner.
That night marked the beginning of the disappearance of the remaining locks on their prison doors, but even as months passed, Leonora still had one last lock left: Anila Idrizaj.
She had constantly looked at her Instagram address to see if Anila had posted anything and to know that she could find her there if she wanted to talk with her, but the account seemed to have been abandoned by the owner.
She felt the need to explain to her that she had not known about her and Blerimi, and as soon as she had found out that it was true that he had committed that crime against her, she had immediately asked for divorce from him.
Maybe Anila would be somewhat positively affected when she heard that Leonora had chosen her, but for sure she didn't want to meet her at all since she could remind Anila of what Blerimi had done to her.
••••
A few months later, in the middle of February, Leonora suspected that it was her when she saw a woman dressed in black pass by her house as soon as she left the apartment building where she lived, but she wasn't quite certain.
Only when she got closer and the stranger stopped, Leonora did the same. Her heartbeat increased, she felt a heaviness in her chest, and the oxygen seemed to disappear completely.
"Anila," she said aloud, the first word she thought, and she realised from her hateful look that Anila had recognised her too.
The woman, who in the photos that she had posted on Instagram was everywhere smiling and had eyes full of enthusiasm for life from the vibrancy and energy expressed in their lighting, now was nailing her with a rigorously sharp gaze, prompted by the thought that Leonora had taken Blerimi's side, and because of that, she was as guilty as he had been.
Leonora moved her freeze-dried lips to ask her to wait when Anila turned her back on her and hurried away, but she said nothing.
She was realising that that lock was never going to disappear, and even if Leonora broke the door and got free, she would have to take the locked lock with her everywhere.
Anila let out a piercing breath and, without thinking for a long time, got into the urban, which she saw stopped on the left, only to leave immediately from there. She would have to stand in the crowd of people in it for a few minutes and get off at the nearest station. She had always considered people her comfort zone, and now she was afraid that one of them was probably thinking about keeping her hostage somewhere alone and hurting her, and that was the reason she rarely left the house.
Blerimi had turned the whole world against her.
She had watched the news about Leonora and the murder of Blerimi on the news, and she had thought that she had been finally free from them, but the confrontation with Leonora had once again brought her back to the past, and she wished with a crushed soul that she would never meet her anywhere again.
Leonora had recognised her! Anila had understood that from her look.
What did Leonora know about her? How had she reacted when she found out? Had she protected her husband? Would she have done that again if Anila had told her that she couldn't look at herself in the large mirrors and could hardly restrain herself from crying when she looked in the small mirrors because of the thought that what she was looking at, Blerimi had seen that night too? That every time she showered, she ended up crying at the touch of her body because she remembered his touches with disgust? That she constantly locked the door of her room even when she slept, out of fear that her father could do the same crime to her? That for years, she had woken up with her heart in her hands from anxiety, terrified that Blerimi had published their intimate video on the Internet?
Anila turned towards the closed doors of the bus so that no one would notice the despair on her face, and she placed her hands on the cold windows.
It had started to rain.
She wouldn't have been there in those moments if she had thought a little longer about all the times when she had suspected that there had been something wrong with Blerimi; she would have discovered his plan in time; she would have saved herself and broken up with him; she would have had her Master's degree; and she would have been practicing her favourite profession at that moment, not feeling like the biggest failure she had ever met in her life.
A hand placed lightly on her right shoulder managed to stop her in time before she gave in to more self-loathing.
"Lady, the ticket?"
The question of the bus conductor behind her made her look away from the taller person on the right, who had touched her, and immediately look at the employee. In a flash, she realised that the person was a man, but she decided not to take the risk to see who it was since he could also misunderstand her look and would want to hurt her.
Anila took out a one hundred lek coin from the pocket of her black coat, took the change with the ticket, and went back to staring at the doors again, this time avoiding looking at the person next to her.
She waited without moving until the bus stopped at the station, and she got off first.
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