"Did we ever see it
coming?
Will we ever let it
go?"

The Other Side
| Ruelle |
••••

    If he had known for sure that she wouldn't wake up at all that night, he would have slept on the couch in the living room, but he barely managed to hold out until the next morning to be in the same bed with Anila. With silent snorts of annoyance, he allowed her embraces, and the feeling of disgust constantly distorted his face from pretending whenever he remembered that he had spent the night with Amarildo's sister.
 
    He had almost fallen prey to the weakness of a moment last night by the doubt that he was wrong and had to give up, but he had narrowly escaped by insisting on the decision since the beginning that Anila was nothing but his card, to be used against Amarildo Idrizaj, and the latter deserved much worse than that. He didn't care about anything else. The thirty-year-old had shown no mercy at all to him and his family, and Blerimi would repay him with the same coin.
 
    As the day dawned, he got out of bed to prepare breakfast. Since it was the last day of their relationship, he had to be careful so that no problem would arise at the final moment.
 
    Anila found him in the kitchen, wearing only a pair of black sportive trousers, while he placed two sandwiches on plates.
 
    "Good morning," she greeted him with a smile and a voice tone as soft as the calm, silky waves of the ocean at dawn.
 
    "Good morning." Blerimi looked at her, wearing one of his white shirts, and walked over to the kitchen dining table.
 
    He was going to throw away the clothing she was wearing as soon as he got the chance.
 
    "When did you wake up?" Anila ran her left hand across half of her still-sleepy face as she approached him.
 
    "About an hour ago," Blerimi put the pitcher with fruit juice on the table and turned to her to hug her. He kissed her forehead and pulled her head away to look into her eyes. "What? Did you remember anything that made you go silent?" he teased her, and she didn't hide her slightly blushed cheeks.
 
    "That I love you," she confessed with lavish feelings in her bright eyes, and Blerimi kissed her.
 
    "Sit down. You must be hungry," he moved the chair for her and tried to fill the glasses with fruit juice.
 
    "No, you sit down." Anila stopped him with her hand placed on his exposed arm. "I want to do something too."
 
    Blerimi left the pitcher on the table and sat.
 
    "What's your plan for today?" she asked while filling the glasses.
 
    "During the morning, I'll be at work. My friends have invited me to go out in the afternoon, but I don't know."
 
    "What do you want to know? I can tell you." Anila meant something else.
 
    Smiling from her coquetry, he allowed her to sit on his lap and returned her the kiss, being careful not to be misunderstood that he wanted more.
 
    "What are you up to today?" He brushed Anila's hair behind her back while looking at her, seemingly gleeful to be that close to her.
 
    "I'll go out with my girl friends too," Anila said, getting up from his lap to sit on the chair in front of him. "We're getting ready for university."
 
    "How about we go on a date in the evening?"
 
    "Yes," she happily accepted his invitation. "And then let's buy dessert and eat it at my house. What do you think?"
 
    "Sounds great." Blerimi hid a smile of triumph, that Anila was making everything so easy for him that he didn't have to strain at all to come up with a backup plan if something unexpected came from her.
 
••••
    She met her friends, Blerta and Ersilda, near the National Library, and they set off in the latter's car towards Durrës, a city from which Anila had senselessly gotten only negative discomfort, and all the times she had gone there, to change that feeling, she had ended up seized by a desperate need to run away from that place.
 
    That day she had set out with the same impossible mission in mind: to walk along the seashore and around the city with Blerta and Ersilda, to have lunch together, and to return to Tirana in the evening.
 
    Until those moments, when she was in the restaurant of her choice and had ordered seafood, she hadn't been able to get over the unpleasant feeling of being in Durrës, even for a moment. She decided that, if she didn't make it that day, she wouldn't torture herself anymore to return there again.
 
    "Girls, I'm going mad because of some Instagram accounts about s*x that keep following me," Ersilda complained in a low voice as the waiter left after bringing the food ordered by them. "They are defaming my reputation."
 
    "Make the account private," Blerta suggested.
 
    "No, I want followers," Ersilda snivelled. "But not that kind of followers. People who know me will say, 'She must have liked a post of theirs or watched their stories, and that's why they're following her.' Don't you get such requests?" the blonde girl asked, dazed by their calmness.
 
    "It's been a while since I've lost count of who is following me," Anila took the glass of water in front of her to drink. "I have over thirty thousand followers."
 
    "Some people text me astrological messages," Blerta said. " 'Do you want us to read your natal chart?' they ask."
 
    "Yeah, the sea chart!" Ersilda laughed, and only Blerta joined her in that mockery.
 
    Anila's face frowned, remembering the subject of astrology from Brunilda. She was very fond of that science, and Anila had always listened only for her sake, not that she had any interest.
 
    Brunilda had sent her sister, Xhensila, to get her clothes at Anila's house one day after their final argument, and now Anila had no idea where she was.
 
    Repentance, that she had treated Brunilda unfairly, not infrequently came to the fore, to ask her to text Brunilda and clarify things, but she always gave up. Maybe ending their friendship with her had really saved Anila from a false friend, and later, she would be completely convinced of how right she had been.
 
    Going out with Blerimi that evening helped to put her mind at ease from the many assumptions and to continue with her usual cheerful mood.
 
    They returned to her house around midnight in his car.
 
    "I liked that bar." Anila locked the main door, and they both went to the living room. "We should go again sometimes. What do you think?"
 
    Blerimi turned serious towards her.
 
    "I think we should end it already," he said in a neutral tone.
 
    "What?" Anila looked at him, confused.
 
    "Our relationship," came the dry answer from her boyfriend. "Everything between the two of us was planned from the beginning by me."
 
    The time had finally come to get rid of her. Her confusion immediately turned into shock from that answer, and Anila didn't know where to begin to understand what Blerimi was trying to explain in that way.
 
    "What are you talking about?" She hardened her voice a little, not in the mood for such games.
 
    "I'm saying that your Brunilda was right when she said that I was playing with you," he confessed openly, and Anila was stunned even more.
 
    "Blerim. What are you saying?
 
    "You know very well what I'm saying, Anila," he replied, indignant now that he had to explain everything to her when she knew it herself. "Maybe not everything, but that you know about Xhuliana, you do. Especially your brother, Amarildo, knows for sure."
 
    Anila was unable to think clearly from being gripped by the feeling of stress and fear, that the next few minutes didn't promise the creation of beautiful memories, and that it would be more in her favour if she didn't read the next chapter in her life but skipped it and continued with the next one.
 
    But life didn't work that way, and Blerimi refused to make any exceptions for Anila.
 
    "He was dating my sister eight years ago," said Blerimi. "He used her, recorded her when they slept together, and threatened her with that video to leave Tirana, or otherwise he would post it on the internet, and Xhuliana killed herself from depression because of him." He revealed to her with his voice raised after every word he said, and the hatred was no longer hidden behind the mask of a calm person towards the frightened woman, with her eyes widened by the horror of those words about her brother.
 
    "No," she muttered in disbelief. "This isn't true."
 
    "Xhuliana had told Denada everything that I told you now. That's why she reacted, as Brunilda had said, when she saw you that day in the bar. She recognised you because of Amarildo."
 
 
    "I think that woman recognised you," Brunilda said suspiciously. "Like I do. Did you not notice, or did you pretend like you didn't?"
 
    "I didn't notice."
 
    "She almost fainted when she saw you."
 
    "Really?" Anila frowned, unconcerned. "Maybe she had thought I was someone else."
 

    "You're wrong," she denied again, shaking her head. "They have lied to you, Blerim. My brother has two sisters. How can he do such a thing?"
 
    "He knows how," retorted Blerimi bluntly. "He destroyed Xhuliana's life. He ripped my soul and my mother's soul to pieces. Xhuliana had come to study in Tirana and was also working. She was my weakest point. I lived only because she lived!"
 
    Anila wanted to get out of that dream, which could be nothing but a nightmare. She couldn't bear to experience such a version in real life.
 
    "My sister has always tried to replace my father's absence after he passed away when I was twelve years old, and she was fourteen, and my mother was working for us." Blerimi kept talking with ever-increasing rage at the person in front of him. "I hated her beyond limits when she killed herself because I thought that whatever happened, she shouldn't have given up on me and Mom. Then I found out that Amarildo had taken her from us!"
 
    "Stop!" Anila covered her face with her hands, overcome by the shock of what she was listening to.
 
    "Your brother noticed that she didn't have Dad for support, nor an older brother, and he took advantage of Xhuliana!"
 
    "No!" She couldn't hold back her tears.
 
    Her brother. Her blood! Had he truly been that evil to an innocent woman and pushed her to commit suicide? How many others had suffered the same fate, but she still didn't know?
 
    That had been the reason why Denada had been shocked when she saw her? Because she had thought that she was just as wicked in spirit as Amarildo?
 
    "Save the crocodile tears for another time," Blerimi commanded. "Tomorrow, I don't want to see you anywhere in Tirana. You will disappear from here."
 
    "What?" Anila looked at him, shocked. "Where will I go?"
 
    "Wherever you want, I don't care. Amarildo will pay one by one for everything he has done to Xhuliana."
 
    "And what have I done to her?" She demanded to know the reason why he was being so unfair to her when she was innocent.
 
    "Nothing. You're his sister."
 
    Anila was realising that he had made up his mind to stand against her and that the only way to escape was to defend herself.
 
    "And you are nobody to tell me what to do. Nobody in bold letters!" she replied authoritatively, while standing unshaken by his serious gaze.
 
    "Do you want this video to go online?" Blerimi showed her on his phone the video of the night they had spent together.
 
    In Anila's face, there was no sign of fear. She saw him as if he were the most ignorant man who had ever lived in the history of mankind.
 
    "Aww! Look at the little amateur. He thinks he can scare me that easily," she remarked adorably with mockery, and then looked at him fiercely. "You can't post it, because you would go to jail and I wouldn't get any punishment. You lose."
 
    "Everyone will judge you, and no one will want to stay with you." Blerimi tried to frighten her, and Anila rolled her eyes monotonously from annoyance.
 
    What was his and Brunilda's problem? One of them had the obsession that the world was ready to waste all its time talking about her life, while the other one insisted that she was the centre of attention wherever she was and people only wanted to talk about her, when in fact no one cared about her. Did they really believe that people were so out of logic that they would have those worthless conversations?
 
    Maybe it was all a matter of perspective. She thought 'no' because she didn't spend her time doing such things, while they believed 'yes', because they did such an act; they gossiped, only to ruin others' work and spread negativity.
 
    Oh, God! She couldn't believe she had been so blind and had allowed people of such a low level of mind to approach her. But at least she was in time to do the right thing. She had gotten rid of Brunilda; now she had to get rid of Blerimi, and everything would be all right.
 
    "Not all people are brainless like you, who judge without knowing the whole correct version of the story," she argued.
 
    "How come you didn't talk like that about me when we were dating? You said the opposite," he recalled ironically.
 
    "One, as they are themselves, thinks about other people. I have been complimenting myself, actually." Anila clarified dismissively against his efforts to win against her.
 
    "I am not deceived by this positive behaviour, Anila. You want to look like you're strong and not scared by anything, but you're shaking from terror."
 
    "I know it myself—what I feel. No one asked you to define feelings," she said bitterly.
 
    "Enough!" Blerimi enacted, annoyed by the length of that conversation. "If I find out that you haven't left here until tomorrow evening, this video will be online, and I won't leave it at that."
 
    "Try it!" Anila returned the threat. "And I swear! Even if it's the last thing that I will do in this world, I'll make sure that you live every remaining second with a broken soul. You are falling on my neck unfairly, and you will pay a price so high that you will experience suffering beyond anything you could have ever thought of. Go ahead and post that video! I dare you!" She looked at him straight in the eye, without batting her eyelashes for a single moment, as a sign of fear towards him. "Now get out of my house!"
 
    He let out a scowl and glared at her judgmentally. "And to think, for a moment, I said to myself, that you are a righteous person, and you don't deserve to be in this war. Brunilda should thank me for saving her from a two-faced person."
 
    Anila stepped back, struck by the comprehension of how fatally wrong she had been about her cousin, and silently composed the reaction of a few seconds before to Amarildo's divulged injustice. She took a deep breath, calmed down, and acted the right way, as she thought she had to.
 
    The real culprit deserves punishment, even if that person is ourselves.
 
    She had to apply that quote, which she said with pride.
 
    "We'll go to the police station," Anila said without sobbing. "We'll give them the evidence for Amarildo and let him get the punishment he deserves."
 
    "No, I don't want him to go to prison."
 
    "What do you want?"
 
    The dark desire in his eyes to kill her brother made her shudder at the impending disaster.
 
    To lose Amarildo! She had never experienced the death of people that close to her before, and now the destruction of her life and her family's life seemed closer than ever because of the murder Blerimi wanted to commit.
 
    Subjectively, he was on his right to avenge. If she found out that someone had done the same thing to Visara as Amarildo had done to Xhuliana, she would also have the desire to break that person's soul at any cost.
 
    But he was her brother! How could she sit idly by when he was in danger? Was her family in danger too?
 
    "I have to warn him," Anila asserted with her head down in despair, that she was in such a situation.
 
    "I don't think you will want to warn him when I tell you the real reason why Xhuliana killed herself."
 
    Anila didn't feel the psychological strength to hear more about that girl and Amarildo, and Blerimi had no compassion at all to let her recover, at least for a few moments.
 
    "He raped her."
 
    Anila's blood dropped to the bottom of her legs, and she felt the need to close her eyes, but she was afraid that she would faint from the risk of falling into unconsciousness from that conversation.
 
    "This is the real reason why Xhuliana killed herself, and when I found out that the culprit is your brother, I swore that, whatever he had done to my sister, I would repay him with the same coin."
 
    Anila opened her eyes more in shock when she realised what a terrible fate was waiting for her from Blerimi.
 
    She ran towards the kitchen, hoping that she would lock the door and take a knife to protect herself if he tried to hurt her, which was obvious that Blerimi had exactly that goal in mind and would try to buy time, until the police came to save her. If she hurried toward the main door, she was afraid that, by the time she unlocked it, it was going to be too late.
 
    He grabbed her near the kitchen and forcefully turned her towards him.
 
    "Let me go!" Anila moved her body to free herself from his strong grip, an action that earned her a slap in the face from him.
 
    He let her fall and then violently dragged her up again.
 
    "Blerim!" she cried from the pain on the left side of her face, to persuade him to stop, but he didn't bother at all to put the water on fire, not even to think about her. He looked like a soldier who was blindly following the orders he had taken without questioning whether he was on the right side or not.
 
    Blerimi pulled her towards her bedroom, pushed her on the bed, and immediately blocked her body with his so that Anila wouldn't be able to move.
 
    "Shh! This won't hurt you," was his only reaction to Anila's muffled screams and her pleading, with tears in her eyes from the trauma that he was causing her, for Blerimi to stop.