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Ruhani POV

"How to untie it?"

He asked and I glared at his confused and shocked face. 

"What?"

I asked with irritation and he inhaled a sharp breath, clicking his tongue and looked at me with thinned eyebrows and a seriously scared face.

"I do not know how to untie it. I just forgot how to untie the knots,"

He declared and my mouth hung open, trying to calm myself down from the thought of biting him raw with my teeth.

How could he forget how to untie the strings when he was so determined to tie them?

"Alright, Aahil, breath, calm down and just look closely, pull out the thread away slowly,"

I tried to say and he nodded understanding the project. Suddenly, he shifted over me, his knees beside my midriff, not weighing over me and I just noticed his slightly visible abs over his stomach. I felt his fingers working on the knot and he muttered slowly.

"Left... right, pull that one, take that out, now slowly pull it out, yeah... it's working,"

My cheeks blushed to hear his husky voice and I sucked on my lower lip.

"Urgghhhhhhhhhhhh,"

But, he gave up after some time and looked at me.

"It's more complicated now,"

I sighed and looked at him.

"Alright, get your knife and cut it,"

He looked sharply at me and thinned his eyebrows with irritation.

"Why did not you tell me before, you wasted so much of my energy,"

I sighed again and just wanted to pull his cheeks so hard that he would cry with the pain. Angrily.

He got off me and came back with the knife in his hand.

"I hope I can trust you with the knife in your hand with drinks in your head?"

I said and he smirked looking at me.

"Begum, I hold knives the best with the drinks in my head,"

He replied and cut the strings and I inhaled a deep breath seeing my hand free of it.

He threw the knife away and I immediately sat up to choke his neck with anger.

"Do not you dare try to experiment with this again when you are drunk, okay?"

He gulped looking at me and his eyes softened. We both were sitting against each other on knees and he suddenly pulled me closer making me sit in his lap with my legs parted around his waist.

"As you say, my dear love,"

He pushed the loose strand of my hair behind my ear and kissed my nose adoringly.

"You look so pretty when you are angry,"

He commented and I inhaled a deep breath.

"Thank god! you did not pass out otherwise, I would have killed you,"

He kissed my chin and replied.

"Let me take you with you bending over the table in the library before you would like to kill me,"

His husky voice twisted something inside my stomach and the idea sounded so wild to me. I felt his fingers tracing my collarbones, staring at them adoringly and I asked in a slow voice.

"Only in the library over the table?"

He kissed my shoulder lightly and he muttered.

"No, holding you around me, with your legs around my waist, you against the wall, I standing and you moaning my name, Aashiq, the whole night,"

I gulped and bit on my lower lip and asked in a slow voice.

"Does not it sound painful? Aashiq,"

He kissed the side of my neck and I heard his husky voice with the soft kisses.

"I have not tried it. But, looking at it did not seem painful but intense,"

He replied and I asked softly raking my fingers around his nape.

"Where did you see it?"

He kissed my jaw softly and answered me back.

"When I was around seventeen and been to one of the pleasure houses with some men,"

I blinked nervously and questioned.

"You never felt like doing it? I mean, not given the opportunity is one thing but stopping yourself continuously being in that environment would have been pretty difficult, was not it?"

He sucked harsher on my neck and my lips parted with the most sensual, deep and wet kiss he planted on my neck.

"No, it was the easiest thing. When you drop making excuses to fool yourself, everything is clear. I never allowed to fool myself,"

"Ahhh, what?"

I moaned and asked with a deep breath.

He kissed me even more deeply and my head falls back a little with his intensity.

"I could have done it and told you a thousand reasons why I did it. But, deep inside I would have always known that those thousand reasons were just an excuse and I could have stopped myself. That means, I just wanted my wife. The lion just needs his lioness. He cannot take sheep,"

He huskily muttered and I shivered with the slight pain in my neck. What he said made pretty much sense to me and my love for him just increased thousand times. Well, he had always been a clear man who knows what he want and what he did not.

But, suddenly I felt him sucking me harder.

"Aahil, you are marking me love and I do not think everyone needs to see it over my neck,"

He pulled his lips back and I looked at his wet, slightly dark pink lips looking at mine.

I saw him gulping and he kissed my cheek.

"I am drunk, otherwise I would have kissed you so hard,"

I cupped his cheek and giggled.

"Yeah, you clearly are drunk otherwise, you would have been running away from me right now,"

He raked his fingers over my back, till my nape and asked in a soft, whispering voice.

"Why would I have been running away from you?"

I chuckled.

"I will tell you in the morning. But, what else do you want to do to me in the sexual context?"

I asked trying to divert the conversation.

"Everything. everything loving, everything dirty, everything pleasuring and everything you will like me to do,"

I blushed hearing him and said.

"I loved the way, you touched me today,"

He kissed my cheek.

"Me too, me too so much. I just love you so much that I just cannot put the feeling in the words,"

He exclaimed and I cupped his cheek to make him look at me.

"Hum bhi aapse bahut mohobbat karte hai, Aashiq. Aapki har cheej see, aapki har aadat see, sab cheej achi lagti hai hume aapki,"

"I love you too, Aashiq. I love everything about you, your every habit, I like everything about you,"

He hugged me tightly and placed his face in the hem of my neck, sniffing me in and muttered in a slow voice.

"I am sorry, Ruhani for what happened to our baby. But, it was my baby, too. I did not know but I did not want any such thing to happen to you, I swear,"

His voice turned husky and I hugged him back tighter. Tears collected in my eyes and I closed my eyelids preventing them flow out right at this moment.

"Of course, he was your baby too, our baby,"

He tightened the hug and I patted his head lightly.

"But, we can try and have the baby again,"

I tried to say and he shook his head.

"Noo, no... no,"

I stroked his nape and asked.

"Why?"

He inhaled a deep breath and muttered.

"I cannot see you in any pain, in blood. Never. I was never afraid of shedding blood, or seeing blood but not you, never,"

I opened my eyes and released the hug to look at him. His eyes turned teary and I kissed his forehead with love.

"Come on, let's sleep drunk, man,"

I said and shifted off his lap. He was clearly still in the trauma and the more we would discuss it, the more he would get into that hole of pain and trauma.

He nodded looking at me and suddenly asked me in a cute, slow voice.

"Are you sleepy already?"

I yawned fakely and said.

"Yeah, I am very sleepy,"

I lay on the bed and he also lay beside me muttering slowly.

I pulled the comforter covering both of us and he came closer, keeping his head over my chest and hugged me tightly. I raked my fingers in his head and kissed his hair lovingly.

He fell asleep and I also fell asleep after him.

I woke up early in the morning and it was Nandani's Haldi ceremony today. I left the sleeping boy in bed and got ready quickly.

After getting ready, I joined my mother and Maamijaan towards Nandani's chamber.

I helped Nandani in getting ready and we took her to the hall where we needed to apply haldi on her.

All the ladies were allowed and men were prohibited. We enjoyed a playful Haldi and after I was done applying Haldi to her. I came back to my chamber with a bowl of Haldi for my husband.

I entered my chamber and saw him still sleeping in the bed.

I smiled looking at him and closed the door behind me. It was almost afternoon and he was pretty drunk yesterday as he was still laying in bed.

I walked towards him and say beside him on the edge of the bed. He was laying on his stomach and I looked at his sleepy face. His long lashes looked beautiful and his lips too.

I collected the palmful of Haldi in my hand and gently rubbed it against his cheek.

He inhaled a deep breath and lifted his lashes to look at me.

"Good morning, dear Sultan,"

He smiled looking at me and touched his cheek with one finger and looked at the haldi.

He shifted on his back and angled his face to the other side making me see his other cheek, precisely welcoming me to apply it on his other cheek.

I did so and he shifted his head in my lap.

"You are looking really beautiful today,"

I smiled looking at him and placed the bowl aside.

He held my wrist and kissed my arm where there was no haldi at all.

I leaned in closer to his forehead and planted a soft kiss saying.

"You should get up and refresh yourself,"

He smiled and looked into my eyes.

"I already did. I woke up before and refreshed myself and then slept again just some time ago,"

I lifted my eyebrows with the new information and looked at him embarrassingly sucking on his lips.

"What did I say last night?"

I blushed instantly and chuckled a little.

"Nothing odd,"

He gulped and shifted off my lap to pull me closer in a quick motion and hovered over me.

"I did. Very odd,"

He commented and my heartbeats raced instantly looking into his devilish eyes that were not looking playful but deadly teasing.

And, slowly he leaned into my ear and I closed my eyes when I felt his cheek rubbing against mine.

"I was just kidding last night about what I said... the fantasies,"

I chuckled and tried to look at him.

"I know, you were joking,"

Suddenly, he smiled and adoringly pecked my lips.

"You seem like enjoying here,"

I smiled more widely and said.

"Very much, I am so excited about Nandani's wedding,"

He pecked my lips again and muttered.

"You glow when you laugh. Just keep laughing always like this,"

I cupped his cheek shrinking my smile back to normal and made him look into my eyes.

"But, I will be happier when you will realise that whatever happened to me was not your fault, not at all and you have to stop blaming yourself for everything,"

He inhaled a sharp breath hearing me and I continued.

"Aashiq, I spent my whole life in this discomfort and belief that whatever happened was my mistake and I ran from it, hid it in the corner of my heart. It was horrible, it was like I was becoming my own enemy with that thought. I was deep into the thought of validation that someone needs to validate me continuously and I feel less regretted about it. But, when I actually faced it, it was not that difficult. At that moment I felt brave and stronger to know that yes, now I am standing up for my mistake if I have done. Regret, guilt, and grief are not the solution. Be it the soft way or the hard way, you will always have to move on to make things work. And, I love you so much. I love you so so much that I cannot even tell you,"

He sighed weakly and sucked on his lips blinking weakly. The silence followed for some time and he slowly asked.

"What do you want me to do?"

I gulped looking into his soft eyes.

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