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Aahil POV

"Rafiq Sultan has arrived with his family,"

The attendee informed me, and I nodded lightly. A lone slipped my eyes, and I tightened my fist on her hand.

A few moments passed, and suddenly, the voice of a lady caught my ear.

"Ruhaniiiiiiii,"

She screamed. Her mother.

"Ruhaniiiiiii,"

Then his father and I sat frozen.

"Ruhani wake up," Her mother burst into cries, and suddenly I felt my collar being fisted in his father's hand. He pulled me up and yelled right in my face.

"What the hell you do to my daughter?"

"Ruhani, what happened to you?"

I heard his brothers asking.

And, suddenly a loud, impactful slap landed on my cheek, making me fall off the bed on the floor.

I did not react. I had nothing to react for. 

"What the hell have you done to my daughter?"

He yelled and held my collar again, pulling me up on my feet. 

"She was so innocent. She fought everyone for you, only, and what the hell did you do to her?"

He exclaimed, and I could feel his words roaring; he cupped my cheek tightly and tried to make me look into his eyes.

My eyes could not meet his. I had no answers; I could see my whole life lying on the bed, struggling for breaths. I had no courage to talk to anyone.

And, then an impactful, strong and face-breaking punch hit my cheeks, and I again fell on the ground.

"Abbujaan,"

Rehman Bhaijaan yelled and ran to us, trying to hold him back.

"You bastard, I gave you my precious daughter, and you turned her into a living corpse,"

His voice turned hoarse, and I could see tears falling from his eyes.

"Abbujaan, calm down,"

I heard Haider's voice and now my anger burst. I stood up from the floor, and my hand grabbed his collar, pushing him against the wall.

"I told you,"

I yelled at his face.

"I told you to take her home with you? Why the hell you did not? moreover, you did not think of telling me that she chose to stay here only,"

My fisted hand hit on his face, and he fell to the ground.

"Aahil,"

Rehman Bhaijaan held me from behind, stopping me and I collapsed on the floor.

"I told him, Bhaijaan, I told him. She was alone; she needed a home; she was not safe here. I sent him the letter...,"

I exploded in cries, and he held my neck against his chest.

"She will be fine; calm down!"

He said, and I heard Haider's voice.

"She said that she wants to stay here only. She refused to leave,"

He also broke into tears. Everyone was crying for her.

"Aahil,"

I heard Zeenat Bua's voice as she sat in front of me. Tears also fell from her eyes, and she patted my head, slowly consoling me.

"She will be fine,"

She muttered with a shaking voice, and I looked at her pleadingly.

"I love her so much. I cannot see her suffering. Nothing matter to me more than her. When I got to know that she was involved in my father's death. I walked away to accept the emotions. Even then, I could not hate her; even then, I could not stop thinking about her. I had no idea, Bua; I had no idea that she was pregnant, that she was here. I knew she could not see us fighting. I did not even tell her. I do not even know who the hell told her?"

I broke into a million tears, and Rehman Bhaijaan just held me close to himself.

"Calm down; she needs all of us,"

I closed my eyes shut, and Zeenat Bua spoke.

"Do not worry, Aashiq; all the physicians are working so hard. We will save her,"

I opened my eyes and looked at her, her brother and her parents.

"I am sorry, I am so sorry, I failed you all. I failed her, I even failed my father. Please, I beg you all, I am nothing without her. She is my everything, everything I have,"

"Shh...shhh,"

Zeenat Bua tried to hush me, and Rehman Bhaijaan patted me on my shoulder.

"She will be fine, trust me. She is our strongest child,"

"She has to Bhaijaan; she has to become fine. I swear I would never even show my face to her even if she wishes to, but I want her to open her eyes, for God's sake,"

I muttered in between her cries and sobbed, sitting there.

Her father and mother sat with her on either side of the bed, and Rehman Bhaijaan joined hands with the Physicians. Haider sat beside me and patted my shoulder with concern.

"Aahil, I did not know that the letter was because you were concerned about her safety. I thought it was because there were between us. Otherwise, I did not allow her to stay here at any cost,"

The fresh tears rolled off my eyes, and I just stayed silent. 

The time passed, and early morning struck. No one moved an inch from their place, and the physicians kept wiping her sweat that came because of the high fever. They suggested that since she was unconscious, this was the only way the poison could be taken out. If she was conscious that they could have used the committing method to pull out the poison.

Suddenly, her mother fell unconscious, and everyone panicked.

"Gulaab,"

"Ammijaan,"

They screamed, and she placed her hand on her head. Her father immediately held her in his arms, making her lie on the couch.

I stood up from the floor and walked to my wife. Sitting beside her, I held her hand and looked at her face turning pale, slightly blue.

I swore whoever was behind this murder of my child and her condition. I would make him go through the same.

The visuals of her doe eyes, smile, timidness and our sweet moments played in my vision and brought more tears to my eyes.

"Ammijaan, you should rest,"

I heard Rehman Bhaijaan's faded noise as he was talking to her mother.

"I need to stay by my daughter's side,"

"You rather need to take care of yourself first than being her side,"

His father said, and I closed my eyes, remembering my father. I had no one to understand me. I lost everything in my life; I did not even know why I was alive. What mistake did I make? Who did I hurt to suffer this much?

The only person I shared my pain with was lying unconscious on the bed. Even that was because of me. Her eternal love for her cost her this much. I should have known that she would not leave me; I should have come to ensure her safety.

Why the hell I trusted others?

But, now, I trusted no fucking one. Not even my mother, brother or sister. If they could not respect my love for her, they certainly did not deserve my love either. If my mother could not understand me even now, I was dead to her.

All my life, I tried to understand her. I justified her hate for Ruhani. But enough was enough. One should not steep so low in her hatred that she forgets that she was a human first.

If my father was alive, I could also have the strength to bore those moments I was going through.

Suddenly, I felt a hand on my shoulder, and I turned my head slowly.

Her father was standing behind me.

"Come here,"

He muttered and pulled me into his arms. The warmness again broke me in cries, and he patted my shoulder.

"I am sorry, I am so sorry,"

He stroked my head and muttered slowly.

"You are a strong man. This shall also pass. It is okay. Sometimes, we go through a moment about which, no matter from how many angles we think, no matter how many times we play it in our head from starting, we cannot erase or amend it. I know you love her, and she loves you too. And, when two people are really in love, the universe evaluates the strength of their love. And, you can consider this time just as an evaluation. She will survive, I know my daughter, she spent all her life without speaking a single word, but eyes spoke power; they spoke fire. She looks fragile, but she is a Goddess regarding emotions. And, if she truly loves you, she will come back for you no matter how hurt she is inside. And, if you truly love her, your love will not let her die,"

He patted my back, and I nodded.

His words did not give me strength, but they made me believe in our love for once.

"Sit here with her; you will feel better,"

He said and cupped my head. Washing my tears off, he muttered.

"You have to be strong to make her feel strong,"

I nodded, and he made me sit back beside her.

"Gulaab, Zeenat, Haider, you should also have a little rest. Let the physicians do their job, and Rehman and I are here with Ruhani,"

He said, and I heard Zeenat Bua's voice.

"Come with me, Gulaab,"

I gulped, and everyone left. The silence followed, and I saw the physicians doing their job.

"Sultan,"

Suddenly, the voice of Shaheen caught my attention.

I looked at her, holding a thick book and her eyes shedding tears.

"When she was alone, she used to write it. I think you can find something in here,"

She said, giving me the book, and I took it from her hand.

Keeping it in my lap, I looked at her face.

Looking at her fragile body lying on the death bed made me realise all my sins.

Her breathing was slowing down with each passing moment. The physicians were trying their best to save her. Even the most trusted medical practitioners were called from other sultanates. But nothing was working on her.

Her skin turned pale, her lips dried and became dark, her nails turned blue with the venom, and my heart was turning insane looking at her.

The last thing that was needed to done now was steal her last glances of her and praying to god. Because the physicians said, it was impossible to save her.

And somewhere, I knew the reason. Because she didn't want to live anymore. She had lost the desire to live, and somewhere, I was the reason.

I looked at the thick collection of papers that her attendee gave to me as she found it in her safe.

I traced my fingers on the yellow pages as they had her fragrance, and they were giving life to each of our memory.

The book was thick, and I did not know when she was writing it. I knew she couldn't speak but realised she had much to say.

I turned the pages and my sight fell on the writing. It was beautiful like pearls stitched on the pages.

My fingers traced the Arabic words and I read the first page. But, it felt like she wrote it just before the this thing happened.

अगर हममें दरिया की गहराई देखते है आप... तो अब सूख चुके है हम।

अगर हममें आफताब की रोशनी देखते है आप... तो अब पिघल चुके है हम।

अगर देखते है अब आप शिद्दत - ए - इश्क की तड़प हममें... तो जल चुके है हम।

और अब देखना दिखाना बसकी नही हमारे।

क्युकी मोहोब्बत - ए - रूहानी के नाम पर मर चुके है हम।

मर चुके है हम।

***

If you see the river's depth in me... then I am dry now.

If you see the light of sun in me... then I have frozen now.

If you see the yearning of love in me now... then I have burnt now.

And now it is not mine to show it.

Because I have died for the name of sacred love.

I am dead for the name of sacred love.

***

Agar humme dariya ki gehrai dekhte hai aap... To ab sookh chuke hai hum

Agar humme aaftab ki roshni dekhte hai aap... To ab pighal chuke hai hum

Agar dekhte hai aap siddat e ishq ki tadap humme... To jal chuke hai hum

Ab dekhna dikhana baski nahi hamare

Kyuki Mohobbat e Ruhani ke naam par mar chuke hai hum

Mar chuke hai hum,

The words ached in my heart, and I looked at the slightly beating heart of my wife. I held her hand as I silently begged her to come back for me.

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