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Ruhani POV

"Tomorrow is the death anniversary of my father and it is better we do not see each other tomorrow,"

I lowered my gaze to his words and it felt like a dagger pierced through my chest. Not because he asked me to not see him but because it reminded me of all my deeds. 

I nodded without protest as he placed his index finger below my chin. Slowly making me look into his eyes he spoke.

"It is not because of you, Ruhani. It is just I do not wish you to see the vulnerable side of mine, which I believe will hurt you," 

I shook my head slowly saying I would not leave him alone to suffer. It was not good, not for his mental and emotional health. It had been a long since he was punishing himself for the thing he did not even do.

I was the culprit, I needed punishment. I had to make up for him. 

He smiled weakly and muttered.

"I need to go for the training now. I will meet you at night,"

He kissed my forehead and stood up to leave.

"Thank you for the sweet dish. Loved it,"

I smiled back at the flirtatious tone behind his words.

I sat there when he left and turned my focus back to my task. I needed those financial records at any cost and Sultan just told me how to get them.

I stood up to walk to the desk. I penned down an authoritative letter to the Finance minister and just as he said stamped that under his name.

Asking an attendee to take it to the minister. I waited for Nagina and Shaheen.

"Begum,"

Nagina said arriving there first and I waited until Shaheen joined too.

I looked at Shaheen and signaled.

'I want you and your friends to talk to the maids personally and hear what they have to say about serving the Sultanate. The reason why there is immense partiality and what is the role of Rabia in all these'

Shaheen translated it for Nagina and who thinned her eyebrows and stated.

"Princess Rabia is handling all the matters for the last six years. Badi begum, I mean Sultan's Ammi left all the responsibility on her the day she decided to marry her to the Sultan,"

My eyebrows furrowed with the knowledge that she was not new and random to the Sultanate but a guest who never leaves.

I looked at Shaheen and questioned.

'She does not leave for her own Sultanate?'

Shaheen translated it to Nagina and she answered.

"Ever since, Princess Rabia's mother passed, her father sent her here. At first, they all believed that she will marry Sultan but when Sultan denied her completely and told them that he was already committed to you. Her father fought with her and asked her to marry someone else. But, she still believes that one day Sultan will marry her,"

I listened carefully to what Nagina told and I could have chuckled at the fact that she still believed that Sultan would marry her but it kind of shook me to the core that she was not ready to accept that Sultan was not her's. 

And, at that point, there could only be two possibilities for its explanation. Either she was too surrounded by the thought of marrying him or she had a plan to marry him.

My heart and brain somehow wanted me to believe in the later explanation as she did not look like a love-struck girl but a politically strong-headed woman.

And, if this was true. What was her plan?

My stomach twisted wrongly and I tried to remember what happened at the event of his father's death. 

We two were alone which means no one knew what happened there but what if someone wanted it to happen? And why?

"Begum,"

Shaheen called and I looked in her direction.

"I think you should talk to Sultan about what you felt wrong in the Sultanate,"

I nodded and signaled back.

'He already knows and I believe even more than I'

Wait!

I could not trust anyone with this. Sultan clearly said that there were only three people trustworthy in the Sultan and my gaze immediately turned to Nagina who knew more than a helper should know.

I looked at Shaheen and asked her to translate.

'How do you know this much about Rabia?'

Shaheen translated and asked Nagina. Her face turned slightly afraid and she looked at me and her voice was almost shaky.

"Begum, I am loyal to you. My elder sister used to be Princess Rabia's personal helper and she used to tell me everything about her. But, one day she saw Princess Rabia in the Sultan's chamber and-"

She stopped and looked at me with teary eyes.

"And?"

Shaheen questioned in my place.

"Begum, I do not think you should know about it. But, Sultan is loyal to you. He has always been. He never even slept with any woman and is completely pure,"

I thinned my eyebrows even more and she definitely knew more about, being a helper.

"You should complete what you started, Nagina,"

Shaheen translated my expressions very well and I looked at Nagina who walked a little closer to me and started in a slow voice.

"Begum, it was around five or six years ago. When almost a year passed since her arrival in the Sultanate. My sister always told me that Princess Rabia tried very hard to pursue Sultan but he always treated her like a guest and very well. He was polite and respected her as she was the daughter of his one true supporter. But, it never was enough for her. She knew... that Sultan was going through a vulnerable phase when he used to drink for a long time daily. And, one day she asked my sister to spike his drink with Viagra herbs. All she wanted was to win him anyhow,"

She took a brief and my heart was all set to sink.

"And, then she went into his Chamber, which my sister saw from the window of his chamber. She was always loyal to Sultan. She saw her taking her clothes off in front of Sultan, who was sitting on his couch and already drunk enough. He even had that spiked drink and saw her stripping her clothes down. My sister told that she shamelessly sat in front of him and took advantage of his drunken state. She undid his lower and even though he was protesting, she sucked him. He kept saying No, No but she kept going until Sultan had to push her away with force and she fell to the ground. Sultan turned angry at her and asked her to leave immediately. She kind of turned scared when Sultan yelled at her and reminded her that he had nothing for her. And, she is ruining her self-respect and shame by doing all this,"

My heart beats raced to hear it and I felt anger and rage for her. How could she do this to a young boy and take advantage of his drunken state? 

"And, she came to know that my sister witnessed everything which made her kill her. But, my sister told me everything before she was killed. That is why I hate her and I am loyal to Sultan and you,"

I nodded and accepted her loyalty with all my heart. My brain was asking me to believe her as Sultan had already told me about that night. And, she was correct by all records.

But, she sucked him. I mean he was my husband, my Sultan, and my love. And, my heart raced to think what had happened if Sultan had not stopped her. I mean, then he had to marry her, and I had lost him for a lifetime.

And, knowing he protested even in the drunken state and spiked drink. He said no to her, which made me trust him even more. He was always mine, he waited for me just like I waited for him. He craved for me and I saw that in his eyes. How could I misread those beautiful eyes whenever they looked at me? I thought it had rage and anger but it always had secret respect and craving for me.

I thought, he was ignoring me when he used to stay a little away but he was sparing me to adjust, to understand, to feel the way he was feeling for me.

All those nights, he passed with his pets, alone on the couch and in the library. I thought, he did not want me but actually, he was saving me from himself. From his cravings and from his feelings.

Oh, My Sultan!

He saved him for me. He lost all those opportunities just for me. He had chances, he had so many chances to get what he wanted, what his body craved. A woman, a person to hear him, someone to share his vulnerabilities. But, he waited, he waited for me.

No doubt, why he accepted even after knowing I was a mute.

My eyes filled with tears and my heart beat loudly.

How I misjudged his silence, his love, and his patience as anger and rage.

He was true, one could not judge a person from the first expression. 

Why, Ruhani? Why you were too surrounded by that night's behavior to notice what your husband was going through?

He was someone, for whom a girl could die. Someone, who deserved even better than me. He was always loyal to me, always loyal to his father. He was disciplined, respectful, and caring for me.

The moment when he fed me at the lunch table, the moment when he kissed me in front of Rabia, the moment when he fought with her mother for me. How could I misread them?

He loves me, he always did. And, now I know why he never confessed. Because he knew that I always doubted his intentions. He has been waiting for me to feel the way he always felt about me. The devotion, the care, the desire, and everything.

I gulped weakly and looked at Shaheen and Nagina still standing there.

"Are you okay? Begum,"

Nagina asked and walked a little close.

"Sultan never entertained any girl. The whole Sultanate knew that Sultan is kind of afraid of girls and he always ignores them,"

I nodded and just remembered what Adeena said when I first came here. 

She said that Sultan feels nervous and odd around girls whenever they try to flirt with him.

And, now it even made more sense to me.

Suddenly, my attention was caught by a loud knock and we three together looked at the door.

"Sultan, you asked for the financial records,"

The attendee behind the door spoke and I looked at Nagina to take it from him.

She opened the door and I looked at them from the corner from where the attendee could not notice me.

"I am supposed to give them to Sultan only,"

The attendee spoke and Nagina looked at him with confidence.

"So, you want me to tell him and ask him to come here to take it from your hands,"

The attendee looked a little scared and I smiled when he silently handed them to Nagina.

"How old these records are?"

"Twenty years,"

He said and she carefully kept them on the table and the attendee informed the rest of it.

"Rest of the records are already in the Library, with Sultan,"

"Okay,"

Nagina finished and closed the door when he left.

I asked Shaheen to leave me alone with the records and she translated them to Nagina too. They both left me alone and I started reading.

I started with a year before his father's death and kept reading and noting down the highlights of the year. I had two histories, one was the normal history like the journal entries of daily happening that were usually recorded and the other were the financial records.

I read them for a long, I even forgot that I was sitting in the library and it turned out late at night.

I realized it when Shaheen knocked and came inside asking me for the dinner.

I asked her about the time and she told me that it was already late at night. Then, I asked her about Sultan and she replied that she did not know.

'Have he had dinner?'

I asked signaling her and she inhaled a tense breath before replying.

"Nagina tried to find him but I think he is not in the Sultanate,"

Another Update!!!

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Also, I published the introduction chapter of Nandani for the next book.

It is 'RUDRA-NANDANI ~ THE SAGA OF CONTROL AND SEDUCTION'

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