1.2k votess fasttt!!!

This update might be triggering for some. Mild talk of suicide attempt. Life is so precious, never think about it.

✨Bad Days Do Not Mean Bad Life✨

Nandani POV

It was a long and tiring day. I met everyone, every single one who I knew from my childhood until now. They all said that they missed me. And, I missed them all too.

I had been coloured from head to toe by everyone, my family, my friends, the young girls, and the old women with whom I used to talk before marriage. Basically, everyone I knew.

I was so very happy.

Now, looking at myself in the mirror, being coloured from head to toe, I feel loved yet there was one particular person perhaps two, my brother and my husband, who had not coloured me yet.

Well, I knew about my brother but I was surprised to realise that I had not seen my husband since I saw him last with my father.

Was everything okay?

I hoped that he was not angry with me for being playful and Agastya colouring me very first not him.

I did not know but my heart was sinking a little bit as there was some kind of ache and uneasiness in me.

Maybe it was because I had not eaten anything since morning. Perhaps he was out for work, something important like a meeting with his Guruji or maybe he was forbidden to play Holi too, as playing Holi was also kind of an enjoyment.

I walked weakly to my bathing room and the clouds of numerous thoughts were roaming all over my mind.

I stripped my coloured clothes off and let my long hair open while stepping into the water pool.

A few attendees joined me to help me rub the colour off my skin and apply herbal and aromatic pastes and oils all over my body. They cleaned my hair well and washed it several times with different kinds of hair masks, using the lavender one at the end to leave the fragrance of it.

After the really long, relaxing yet thoughtful bath, I came out of the pool and changed into the bright peach cotton lehnga for the comfort of night. I still had to go for dinner in the dining hall which was why I did not choose my night dress to wear.

I also removed unnecessary pieces of jewellery leaving my nose ring, bangles, waist chain and anklets intact along with my headpiece.

"You all can leave and if anyone asks about me, please inform them that I am having dinner in the chamber,"

I said and the attendees that were helping me dry my hair.

"Okay, Princess,"

They nodded.

I smiled weakly and looked at them leaving.

It had turned dark and I did not have any idea where my husband was. He could not be with my parents and his brothers either because I was with them.

I was not doubting but my heart was sinking and I could feel that something was wrong.

Something was terribly wrong. I could feel it in my bones now. I could sense it, my whole body was feeling uneasy and scary shivers were running through my spine feeling the sudden change of winds and unwantedly my eyes turned teary.

I took a step back and suddenly my toe ring pierced my skin a little causing me a stingy pain.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhh,"

My eyebrows thinned in a line and seeing a pinch of blood coming out of my toes, my heart sank even deeper.

I immediately sat down and pushed my toe ring correctly back and realised what it could mean more years fell down my eyes.

I instantly stood up and ran towards the door, opening the door I looked at the soldiers standing outside.

"Can you please search for Ranaji?"

I asked and they bent nodding.

"Yes, Princess,"

Two of them left and I chewed on my lips and started roaming in the chamber from here and there until the soldiers came back. I waited for so long, I even denied the dinner, and asked the attendees to not let anyone know about it. I did not want everyone to get tense altogether.

The soldiers came back after a long time and I immediately walked towards them in hurry.

"Could you find him?"

They shook their head and I felt something breaking in me.

"We are sorry, Princess but we could not find him anywhere,"

More tears rolled down my eyes and I just prayed to God for his well-being.

The time suddenly slowed down as I kept waiting for him. My eyes looked at the stars and the full moon slowly changing their positions, unnoticeable almost, signalling that it was past midnight now.

I looked at the Kingdom slowly turning silent as the attendees and people headed back to their rooms and chambers.

I closed my eyes and my lips trembled as I prayed with a deeply aching heart.

"Please, Mahadev, Pleaseeee..... I am begging youuuu... Please keep him safe... Pleaseeeee,"

And, suddenly the thought of him leaving any letter for me crossed my mind. I immediately ran towards the table, the dressing table, the couch, the corners and finally the bed in search of any letter or scroll.

And, there in the middle of the pillows, my sight noticed a bright yellow scroll. I immediately grabbed it and my fingers were literally shaking when I unrolled it.

My eyes immediately recognised his handwriting and with my shaking voice and weak knees, I quickly read it.

"Agar jeevan me humne sabse jyada kisi se pyaar Kiya to vo aap hai, Nandani, sirf aap,"

'If I have loved anyone the most in my life then it's you, Nandani, Only you,'

The letter said and my eyebrows thinned. This was it? Did he leave with this only?

What did it mean?

Rudra.

And, suddenly the thought of anything happening to him crossed my mind and I broke into silent cries and scary shivers.

"Please, I beg you... Pleaseeeee, come back, one last time... Pleaseeeeeee,"

I cried and my tears were not stopping suddenly the door of mine pushed open and I immediately lifted my gaze.

With my blurry vision, I saw him stepping inside and his clothes dripping water, his hair was wet, his face red, eyes, lips and nose were swollen and I could not stop myself from running to him.

I stopped myself a few feet away from him and questioned him in a shaky and trembling voice.

"Wh...what d...did... It... It... What did... It... It means?"

I threw the scroll ring at his chest and burst into cries.

I saw him crying and I took a few steps closer to him.

"Esa...esa ky...kya ho gaya... Achanak... Rudra... Esa kya ho gaya... Jo aap itna bada kadam... Uthane chale gae... Kya ho gaya esa?"

"Wha... What the he... What the hell... Happened, that you... You went to... Went to take such... Step, Rudra? What the hell happened?"

I asked in a shaky voice in between the hiccups of cries and cupped his cheek and fisted on his collar to make him look at me.

He burst into more cries and kept his head low.

I immediately snaked my arms around his shoulder tightly and cried.

"Aapko kuch ho jaata... To hum nahi... Jee paate... Nahi jee paate hum,"

"If anything has happened to you... Then I could not... Survive... I could not live,"

I said and fell on my knees bursting into cries.

"Aap kyu nahi samajhte, hum mar jaenge, hum nahi hai saksham khud ko sambhalne me, humne apna bhavishya aapke Bina dekha hi nahi Rudra, aap kyu... Nhi... Samajhte,"

"Why do not you understand, I will die without you, I am not capable of living without you, I have not seen my future without you, Rudra, why... Do not... You... Understand,"

I broke into cries, my voice almost inaudible and he also sat in front of me, taking me into his arms he collected me into a very tight hug.

"I am sorry, I am soooo sorry. I am really very sorry... Sorry,"

He broke into more cries and I felt his hand on my head. I snaked his shoulder tightly and shut my eyes close.

"Why did you leave? Why?"

I asked in between the cries and he hugged me even tighter.

"I am sorry, I am sooo sorry, pleaseeeeee,"

I cupped his neck and face after straightening my face to look at his crying face.

"What happened? Tell me, what happened?"

I asked washing his tears he was keeping his eyes close and brows thinned.

"I was wrong, I am wrong. My whole lifeeeee.... had been wrong, completely. I do not know me now, I do not know who I am, I do not know what I am, Nandani,"

He literally shivered and his voice shook as he said.

"Pleaseee help me, I do not know who I am... I am feeling as if something died in me... I do not want to live... I do not know my purpose. I cannot forgive myself. I just hate myself. I did not want to become this... Please, Nandani. I just came back for you. I love you so much... I am sorry, I am sooooo sorrryyyyyyyy for every time I hurt you, I am so sorry for hurting you every time, I am so sorry for every single tear of you that shed because of me... Please, I am begging you... This was not me, I do not know who I am. I do not deserve you, I do not deserve any of this,"

He broke into even more cries and I immediately hugged him, unable to stop myself from crying.

He hugged me tightly and hid his face in the hem of my shoulder, his body was literally shaking with the intensity of his cries.

"You are Rudra Dev Singh. A man I insanely love, respect and honour. Not because I have feelings for him but because he is a self-made man. He is someone who has worked hard his whole life to get what he got. You are a true warrior, a true King, a genuine person without any cover. Whatever you have in your heart is in your mouth. You are the most amazing person I have ever met. You love me, you respect me, and you chose me even knowing that I slept with the King. No man is greater than you. No one and I can say that in front of anyone with my chest swelled with pride. You are the self-made King Rana Rudra Dev Singh. The people are waiting for you, Rudra. They want to see you rule, they want to see serve work for them,"

I said and released the hug to cup his face.

"Just because a few people knowingly kept a few facts secret from you, you are questioning yourself. Why? You were just a child, a homeless child, without parents and were meant to believe what you were told. You trusted people, you believed everyone, only a pure soul can find everything good in others. You are so much pure, Rudra. So, innocent and I love you so much,"

I said trying to make him look into my eyes and he cried even more.

I immediately hugged him and he hid his face in my chest sitting on his knees, keeping me standing on my knees.

"I am... sooo... sorry, Nandani... I am so sorry, that I hurt youuuuu... Pleaseeee,"

Fresh tears rolled down my eyes and I closed my eyes trying to hush him down.

"Shhh-Shhhhh-Shhhhh, its alright, Rudra,"

I hugged him even lightly and I could feel his wide palms when he was hugging me tightly back.

"I am sorry. I hurt you, I hurt everyone... I thou... I thought that he was my father... I thought he loved my mother... I thought, he accepted a slave woman for his wife... I never thought that he just used my mother... he wanted your mother just for fun... I never knew about his true intentions. How could he? I thought he died fighting for the right. I thought he did not deserve to be killed because he was just following the right path, he was putting things right. But, No... No, that man was selfish, a bastard and hungry for women as if they are some kind of piece of furniture. I am sorryyy Nandani. I am sooo sorryyyyyyy for hurting you, playing with you, letting you down, leaving you, and making you to take such steps. I am soo soooo sorryyyyy for hurting your family. I do not know what to do now, I do not know anything, Nandani. How will I face everyone?"

He burst into even more cries and I released the hug to look at him. My eyes noticed his deep red eyes, the pain they held, the pain and the genuine emotions. I was not able to stop myself from crying with him. I knew he would get hurt after knowing all this, I knew he would not be able to accept this, chew it and live with it. But, he had to. Life happens, that is the rule.

"Hey, look at me, Rudra, come here,"

I said and tried to cup his cheek to make him look at me.

He sobbed and I said.

"Come here, first, you are all wet,"

I stood up on my feet and held his hand.

"Come here,"

I said, pulling him up by using my strength and he stood up on his feet. I made him sit down on the couch and walked to grab my towel.

I stood up in front of him and felt him cupping the sides of my waist with his hands. I could feel the warmness of his skin through the coldness of the water that had moistured his hands. He placed his forehead against my chest. I could feel his big hands almost covering the whole of my small waist in his palms.

Despite being so emotional right now, I felt slight butterflies in my stomach due to the sensual touch he erupted with his hand and forehead. 

"I am so sorry,"

He breathed on my midriff.

And, I gently started to rub his hair with the towel to dry his hair up.

"Calm down,"

I tried to say and he sobbed deeply.

"I am so sorry. I am not like that. I did not know. I am sorry, Nandani,"

He muttered again and I tried to hush him down a little.

"Shhh-shhhh,"

I gently pressed my finger into his long hair locks and combed them lightly.

"You should change, Rudra, you are wet,"

Another Update!!!

Do not forget to vote, comment and share the book!!!

Love you all ♥️♥️♥️