1.2k votes fasttt!!!

Rudra POV

"You can avenge your father's death, you can do whatever you want. And, let me know when you will do that. I will not stop you, I will not even try to make you understand what you are doing wrong. I will not even tell you the truth. I will not say a single word. I will leave you with victory and best wishes for your future,"

She said and my heart split in two. My eyes swelled up with tears and I could feel the uneasiness, burden and heaviness bubbling up in my chest. I looked at her, tearful eyes, redness appearing in the corner of her eyes and the trails of tears rolling down her flushed cheeks.

My eyes tried to comprehend the emotions on her face, trying to understand and wanting to negotiate.

But, my words hung in my throat and I tried to speak.

"Nandani,"

She blinked looking into my eyes. I could see the immense respect and depth of oceans filled with love, all for me and the fierceness and a wildfire burning at the shores of that ocean that was telling me that her decision was final and without any room for amendment.

Slowly with the silence, our eyes looking into each other, I felt as if the sky, the world except us started fading away for me. It started compressing, it started shrinking, and it started becoming smaller and smaller.

A world where only I and her exist, with no past, no future, no expectations, no results, no hope, no tears, no happiness, no sorrow, no joy, just us. Staring at each other, diving deep into each other, without any words, without any expression of feelings, just us.

A life, that I wanted to live, ahead, for the rest of the breaths that I was allotted this life. A life which had no meaning without her. If my past was the motive of my life then she was my home. If my revenge was the mountain that I wanted to climb then she was the base of the mountain to which I would come after conquering it. If my goals were my life then she was the death which was certain and the reality. If killing her parents was my aim then she was that water which I would drink after getting tired of aiming.

In simple words, she was the solace that I would want to have after accomplishing anything in my life.

And, if I would never get that solace, that water, that base of the mountain, that silence, that relief, that home, what would be the point of living, what would be the point of conquering that mountain, what would be the point of aiming that arrow, what would be the point of life which would not have the death, what would the point of that motive and what would be the point of becoming Rana Rudra Dev Singh if there would be no Queen Nandani for him.

Tears rolled down my cheeks and I could feel my heartbeats slowing down. My voice felt hoarse and shaky when I said.

"Aap to humse hamari jindagi ke badle jeene ki ummed hi maang rahi hai, Nandani. Aap to humse hamari jindagi ke badle uske Maine hi maang rahi hai, aap to humse hamari jindagi ka maqsad, hamare maa-baap ko hi chodne ko keh rahi hai,"

"You are asking for the hope of living in exchange for my life, Nandani. You are asking for its meaning in exchange for my life, you are asking me to leave the purpose of my life, my parents,"

She lowered her gaze and I noticed a few strands of her hair flowing with the wind. Another few drops of tears fell from her eyes and settled on her collarbones. She sobbed a little and lifted her gaze back to me.

"Humne to apne jeene ki umeed aapke liye pehle hi chod di, Rudra. Humne to apni jindagi ke maaine pehli hi badal diye, humne to pehle hi apni jindagi ka maqsad, apne maa-baap ko aapke liye chod diya, Rudra. Jis din aapke kakash me humne kadam rakha ye jaante hue ki aap hamare dushman ke bete hai, humne to apne maa baap ko daga de hi diya,"

"I have already given up my hope of survival for you, Rudra. I have already changed the meaning of my life, I have already left the purpose of my life, my parents for you, Rudra. The day I entered your room knowing that you are the son of our enemies, I betrayed my parents,"

She said looking into my eyes. Her voice was slow, trembling and true enough that it sent a chill down my spine. I abruptly lowered my gaze and took my fingers close to her hand. Her hand was half my size, her wrist was full of bangles, and her slender fingers were looking pale and trembling. 

My heartbeats were slowing down with each passing moment.

I did not know what to say now. I did not know what I wanted now. I did not know what was happening, what I needed to expect now, or what I wanted.

"Hume sirf aap chahiye, Nandani, bas aap or kuch nahi,"

"I only want you, Nandani, only you nothing else,"

I said in a slow voice and brought her hand close to my lips. With trembling lips, I gently kissed the back of her hand and closed my eyes for a moment. I let the touch of her skin, her fragrance, and her energy wash over all my doubts of me and send a sense of peace inside my body.

"Hum to aapke hi hai, Rudra,"

"I am all yours, Rudra,"

She said and I opened my eyes to look at her. She blinked looking back at me and said in a slow and painful voice.

"Bass esa kuch na kare jo hume ek jinda laash bana de,"

"But do not do anything that will make me a living corpse,"

I shook my head lightly and saw her closing her eyes. Fresh tears rolled down her cheeks and she silently leaned in closer to place her head on my chest.

I closed my eyes as I instantly felt a wave of peace travelling down in me burning down my inner turmoil. The feeling of ecstasy hit me while the fresh tears rolled down my cheeks.

Love had always been the feeling that I hated the most in my life. It was the foremost thing that I hated as it made my mother suffer. She was happy until this feeling hit her and the irony was that love was not happiness, love was not pain either. It is the medicine and the wound itself. It is that sword that rips you apart and still a single drop of blood would not come out of your body. It is something that ends you bit by bit and still, you hit salvation.

I hated this love the most. It makes us weak, it distracts us, it conquers us, it changes us, it destroys us.

But, if she was love, she was that weakness, she was that distraction, she was the conqueror, she was the change, she was the destroyer, then for me, love was beautiful, love was euphoric, love was peace, love was bliss, love was that shine in the night, love was that spark that tells that you are alive, love was that fire, love was the flame that burns you. Love was something that was keeping every bit of me together from falling apart, from destroying myself from burning my own soul.

Now, I might understand what my mother must have felt when she fell in love with my father. Looking at her, I could see how much she had sacrificed for him, how much she put at stake for him, and how much she cared for him.

And, I was not my father, I was not the same man who I hated the most. I could not be that man who could not answer her love with my love.

I could never be that one who would do something that would destroy her like my father destroyed my mother.

Never.

I inhaled a deep breath.

She was right I had to make a decision. I had to put things right. 

Suddenly, she lifted her face up and looked at me.

Her lips had turned a little swollen, her cheeks flushed and red, her eyes wet and redness blurring up.

"Hume chalna chahiye, aap aaram kijiye,"

"I should go now, you take rest,"

She moved to stand up but I immediately held her wrist. The noise of her bangles and anklets pierced the silence and she lowered her gaze softly to look at me.

Our eyes met and silence followed until I collected my courage to speak.

"Ruk Jaiye, Nandani. Hamare pass, ek raat sirf hum dono, bina kisi kash-m-kash ke,"

"Stay, Nandani, with me, a night, just us, alone, without anything else,"

She blinked her eyes and looked into mine softly.

A fresh tear escaped my eyes and she lowered her gaze.

"Aap pachtawa karenge kal agar hum aaj ruk gae to,"

"You will regret it tomorrow if I stay tonight,"

Her voice was slow, soft and I lightly shook my head.

"Aapke saath har pal jannat hai, pachtawa nahi,"

"Every moment with you is a heaven for me, not a regret,"

I spoke with the same softness and she inhaled deeply before sitting back again in front of me.

Her eyes blinked confusingly and she lightly sucked her lower lip with her teeth to calm her racing heartbeats.

I could not stop myself from touching her lower lip with my thumb and gently rubbing it saying.

"Do not do that, it will bleed,"

She lifted her gaze to look at me and looked into my eyes.

I saw her slowly bringing her finger close to my cheek and gently wiping the tears away.

"Do not do that either, it bleeds my heart,"

She said in a soft voice. My eyes looked deep into hers, her lashes wet with tears, pupils bigger and darker than before, the moonlight falling on her face was like a calm river sleeping naked under a blanket of stars. My hand unknowingly moved from her chin to her cheek gently, my eyes noticing the detail of her face changing as my touch was embracing her skin. A slight shiver, mild change in the warmness of her body, fastening of heartbeats, slowing down of breathing, the parting of her lips and softening of her eyes. All made me dive deep into her, her smell, her embrace. So deep that my brain had now stopped thinking anything else now.

I could see the distance decreasing between our faces, unknowingly her face getting bigger, her eyes blinking, the sound of our breathing slowly becoming audible, the gentle sensations of her breathing on my face, my fingers unknowingly moving inside her hair, her face angling a little backwards, mine leaning into her, looking down at her face.

Her eyes closed, breathing fastened and deep, her lips parted and red, trembling, wet and mine unknowingly moving in closer, my nose touched the cheek beside her nose, inhaling her smell, feeling her skin, giving in the touch, letting the warmth of her soothe me. 

The noise of her breathing getting louder, blocking every extra noise, the warmth of her skin getting even warmer, not letting me feel the winds blowing, her breathing getting faster, not letting me understand my pace of mine.

Only a pull was there, a horizon, a clarity, an empty grassland without a single tree, no rushing, no winds blowing, no noise of any chaos and birds. Silence. Peace. Love.

And, then a touch, a touch of my lips on hers, a euphoric ecstasy hitting me, with the gentleness, a driving force so slow, so extravagant, so intense, a warmth like a sun, a gentleness like water, a peace like empty grassland, a calmness like dream.

A stopped breathing, fastened heartbeats, a wave of sensations and chills running down my spine and moving up to my head, making me feel sparks around my head and leaving an oozed brain.

I could feel the wetness, the warmness, the softness, the sweetness, the trembling lips of her under mine. I felt a strong shiver of her, a soft moan and a slight pull when I could not stop myself from sucking her lips gently, softly, intensely, slowly driving it into a deeper place.

My lips themselves moved against her, tasting her slowly, softly, devouring her lips gently. My lashes were forced closed as slowly the warmth of her lips was making me feel forget everything. I felt lost in her.

My breathing hitched as she slowly pulled her lips an inch away from mine. Our noses touched each other, our breathing fanning over each other's faces. 

The separation killed me. It felt as if someone pulled my heart out of my body as if the blood stopped flowing through my veins. It was so different yet so similar. It was so killing yet so breathtaking. It was so punishing yet so rewarding.

My hand was on her nape, keeping her closer to me, not letting her go away, not even an inch, not even for a moment and I leaned in closer to her, she gently leaned backwards trying to look into my eyes. Her eyebrows thinned in a line and her pupils looked straight into my eyes. She held confusion yet commitment in the softness of her gaze. 

My eyes looked back into her gaze, often lowering down on her lips, wanting to touch them, taste them, devour them but she was trying to pull away and I did not realise when her head leaned back on the pillow and I was hovering over her.

My eyes were fixed on her pale skin glowing beautifully under the moonlight. Her hair shone bright, her collar bones, jawline, her slender neck everything so perfect and extravagant.

"Rudra,"

She called slowly and her voice felt like a gentle breeze, a feathery touch and honey.

"Hnnn-hnnn,"

I hummed and she gulped looking into my eyes with the same intensity. She brought her hand close to my cheek, touching my cheek softly with her fingers, her eyes blinking slowly, pupils moving along her gaze.

A cold breeze suddenly hit and she shivered lightly.

"Thand badh rahi hai,"

"It's getting cold,"

She said and I straightened myself a little. Pulling the comforter up, I covered both of us and I laid beside her. She immediately shifted closer to me and I pushed my hand under her head. Placing her head over my chest, she wrapped her arm around my waist. I gently touched her hair which was spread wide.

I saw her closing her eyes and I leaned in a little to kiss her hair softly.

I did not know what would I do. It was her and her love, who was demanding an answer from me, on the one side and on the other, there were the memories of my mother and a list of people who deserved what my mother got. 

Justice was needed but the price was Love.

"Suniye,"

"Listen,"

She said slowly angling her face to look at me. I looked into her red swollen eyes and I asked.

"Kahiye,"

"Tell me,"

She blinked nervously for a moment and then said in a slow voice.

"Vivah ke baad hamari pehli Holi hai, Maa sa ne khat bheja or aamantrit kiya hai hume aapke saath, ladki ki pehli Holi Maaike me hoti hai na. To aap to aaenge nahi kyuki Ateethi aa rakhe hai, to hum soch rahe the ki akele chale jae. Hum bata rahe hai kyuki aap gussa ho jaate hai hum kahi akele jaane ka sochte hai to,"

"It's my first Holi after our wedding. My mother sent a letter and invited both of us to celebrate. Also, the first Holi of the girl is celebrated in the maternal home only. So, I was thinking of going alone as you will not come along due to the guests in the Empire. I am telling you because you get angry if I try to go alone,"

She finished and looked at me.

Whatever she said twisted my stomach very wrongly.

I did not want her to go alone, leave me even for a single day, neither I wanted to go there. I at least needed time. Was she trying to leave me already? What if she was going there to never come back?

"When will you come back?"

I asked instantly.

She shook her head lightly and replied in a soft voice.

"Jab bhi aap hume lene aayenege,"

"Whenever you will come to take me back,"

Another Update!!!

Do not forget to vote, comment and share the book!!!

Love you all ♥️♥️♥️