Chapter 22: Grieving

Pendragon Castle, Cadmure

Ruby lay on her stomach, sulking in her bed filled with extra cushions that surrounded her like a fortress, scattered even to the floor along with empty bottles of wine and rolled up tissue paper. Her room is shrouded in darkness as thick curtains block the light from entering her room. Half-eaten cookies and other sweets litter her bed as she wept all alone in her misery. She moved her hand to wipe her tear-stained face, hearing the soft clinking of the charm bracelet Aurelius had given to her and sighed.

It had been a week ago since she received a letter from King Earl Ansaac saying that Carmilla is dead. She had slit her wrist and died of blood loss but now her corpse is missing. In his letter, Earl stated that the maid who was assigned to clean Carmilla's pot that night found her cold lifeless body and screamed in horror before running away to inform him but when they reached her room her body was nowhere to be found. Ruby knew that Cecilion had taken Carmilla's corpse and is probably grieving her by now while Ruby can only cry in vain as she couldn't give Carmilla a proper burial.

She ultimately blamed herself for the choice Carmilla had made. If she only stayed and tried cheering her up more and placed more effort in making their relationship work then this would never have happened. Or if she had sneaked her out instead of leaving her to lament perhaps Carmilla would still be here even though she would be happy in someone else's arms. There are thousands of other ways where her beloved would still be alive and happy but now none of it matters because she's gone forever.

Ruby stood up from her bed, her expression downcast and disconsolate as she pulled her black nightgown under a mass of pillows. She walked towards a table and grabbed a glass of water for her parched throat. She gazed at the myriads of bouquets placed around her room rivaling the number of flowers in an actual flower shop.

Many flowers had been sent to her by her friends and the other nobility as condolence for her loss but all of their radiant beauty lay ignored in her room. No amount of consolation or liquor can divert her mind in the loss of her friend and only lover knowing that she's partially at fault for her passing.

Ruby grabbed a single crimson rose that fell out of its bunch and sighed as it reminded her of Carmilla. A pained smile stretched across her lips as she reminisces her fiancée's luminous face and gentle words. Carmilla had always described her as the brilliant sun that bathes the world in light and goodness. Ruby was always happy when she told her this but now she realized that Carmilla is really like the moon, a brilliant beacon shining in the darkness. But the moon does not belong in the day where she will be outshined and ignored. She belongs in the evening and Cecilion was her midnight where she shines her brightest. He's an enigmatic canvas of Byronic charms and sweet midnight tenderness. It's very envious how much he made her happy in the short span they spent compared to the years that Ruby and Carmilla had been together.

She parted her curtains and pushed through her glass doors to enter her balcony overlooking a vast landscape of a well-curated garden. She placed her hand over the terrace and gazed longingly into the horizon. Her glazed eyes looked down at the rose as her lips parted to sing.

"I was fine... with the men... who would come into her life now and again. I was fine... cause I knew that they didn't really matter until you." She remembers Carmilla's joyful face as they watched Cecilion perform. He was dazzling and Ruby could only be envious due to how much love she dedicates for him.

"I was fine... when you came and we fought like it was all some silly game over her who she'd choose. After all those years I never thought I'd lose! It's over, isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it over? It's over, isn't it? It's it? Isn't it over? You won and she chose you and she loved you and she's gone. It's over, isn't it? Why can't I move on?" Ruby sang as she poured her heart out into every word. Pain and sadness are laced with every note and melody her gentle voice released that can make even the hardest of hearts melt in tears.

"War and glory, reinvention, fusion, freedom, her attention. Out in daylight, my potential bold, precise, experimental. Who am I now in this world without her? Petty and dull with the nerve to doubt her. What does it matter? It's already done. Now I've got to be here all alone! It's... over, isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it over? It's over, isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it over? You won and she chose you and she loved you and she's GOOONNNNE!" She threw the rose over the balcony and allowed the wind to carry it gently as she concluded her song.

"It's over, isn't it? Why can't I move on? It's over, isn't it? Why can't I move on?"

Her reverie was interrupted when she heard the faint sound of clapping coming from her room and she turned to see Aurelius along with her knight Bedivere who was wiping the tears falling from his eyes and Merlin who seemed to have enjoyed her drama.

"Excellent, the true love of a lesbian loli to her emo lesbian girlfriend is truly divine!"

"Shut it, incubus." Ruby said with a warning look.

"What the hell are you three doing here?" she interrogated glaring at them fearsomely. "Especially you?" she added pointing at Aurelius.

"I came here to see you. You didn't respond to any of my letters and I was worried especially after I heard the news about Carmilla. I'm sorry." Aurelius said taking a step closer towards her.

"What letters? I didn't receive any other than Earl's." she asked confusedly. Bedivere cleared his throat gaining her attention.

"I believe you did but you used them all to keep the fire in your hearth burning since you ran out of firewood. In fact, the majority of your letters came from his majesty, the prince. There were about fifty from him."

"It's true. I was really worried about you so I guess I kind of got carried away. But it's okay if you never read them because now I can tell all of them to you personally."

"Oh, okay and sorry." she whispered with little energy and gazed at the side with a downcast expression.

"It's fine. I met your mom and she's very welcoming, she said I could stay but I don't think you'll be very comfortable with that so I'm staying in a hotel. I also brought you this." Aurelius said handing her a bouquet of white chrysanthemums.

"Thanks."

"If it makes you feel better you can throw those too over the balcony if you want." he added making Ruby crack a smile and giggle cutely.

"No thanks. I think I'm fine now. You can wait in the gazebo while I fix myself. I'm still not presentable as of the moment."

"Of course, I will be waiting for you even if you take forever." He said smiling at her warmly.

"Right this was your highness." Bedivere said as he led Aurelius out of her room with Merlin teasing him on the side.

"Oh ho ho ho, do I smell flirting? You sly devil waited until she's at her weakest before coming in and sweeping her off her feet. Wow, what a classic predator."

"I-i-it's not like that--I just... We're just friends. Because that's what she needs and I want to be the best for her."

"Oh, really? That's where all of that starts. But if I may give you a suggestion, I would say that you win the approval of Altria first. Ruby is her only child and the most precious thing in her whole life therefore it's not going to be easy winning our little princess without the approval of her mother." she heard the magus say as the door closed behind them. The others didn't notice it but Aurelius directed her a playful smile as the door shut.

Ruby heaved a sigh as she gazed at her mess of a room.

"What a fool."

Moments later a small smile stretched across her lips.

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"So what agenda do you have up your sleeves now?" Ruby asked while she sat opposite of the prince under her limestone gazebo where flower-bearing vines crawl up the white columns. She picked at the various sweet snacks laid out in fancy plates, inspecting each and every one of them but only eating a few selected treats.

"Well, as an excuse to get out I told my father that I'm here for diplomatic reasons to learn your culture and political strategies since your mother's methods seems very effective and I want to be a better ruler when I ascend the throne but in truth, I only want to see you and cheer you up."

"Basically you're here to gather reconnaissance about how we operate and then plan a countermeasure for when we become a threat and take over our lands afterward. You're warming up to me to make me your bitch and marry me so that you'll be an official regent of all my inheritance." Ruby interpreted, stirring her coffee boredly.

"I'm joking." she added when she saw his downcast expression due to her words.

"Anyways, I've done a little research on Cadmure and I would like to see the whole place for myself. With you of course as my guide and we can also think of this as our first official best friend bonding experience. What do you say, Ruby? Will you come with me?" The Prince offered enthusiastically, his amethyst eyes shining with hopefulness and energy.

"I don't know. I'm still not in the mood to go out and frolic. I'm not sure if it's the perfect time to have fun for a grieving widow."

"You're not a widow, you were not even married. Plus it's the perfect time to lighten up. This is a depressing time for you and I think you really need to get out there instead of sulk in your room all day long. Also, you might not grow any taller if you don't expose yourself to the sun. You'll forever be a loli." he teased earning a piercing glare from her.

"So what's the first thing in your itinerary?"

"Your house of course! I heard that the Pendragon Castle is one of the most revered and most beautiful well designed architectural places there is, plus the decorations and paintings are said to be exquisitely crafted, especially the portraits of the Pendragon family, like yours. I want to take lots of pictures for inspiration and stuff and then we could also take 'selfies'"

"No can't do. I cannot disclose to you the passages and design of my home. This castle is a stronghold capable of withstanding a siege from a hundred soldiers with catapults and cannons I cannot simply give those information to an outsider. Especially shits from the empire."

"Oh, don't be like that. I'm not planning on launching an attack on you I just want to know how and where you grow up, maybe even see baby pictures. Besides getting to know each other is one of the activities friends do. And if I'm lucky we'll be best friends eventually. In return, I'll give you a tour as well of my home when you get back to Moniyan and if that's not enough I'll even add a bona fide blueprint of the Imperial Castle. So what do you say, Ruby?"

"I'll let my mother be the judge of that. Let's ask her and if she agrees then it's a go and if she doesn't it's a no."

"Sure. Now let's go see mom." Aurelius replied enthusiastically with a beaming smile.

"Don't get your hopes up. Knowing my mother she'll never allow this blasphemous tour to happen so prepare for rejection." Aurelius only nodded and happily followed after her.

"Of course, I allow you to take a tour around the house and take photographs as well if you please." Altria permitted making the prince smile victoriously while Ruby's face soured in displeasure.

"You're really going to entertain this? He's an outsider from the empire what if he's using this to gather information about our base?" Ruby objected giving the prince a suspicious side glance.

"Even with that possibility, I would like to see them try to defeat me. We are more than capable of withstanding a siege from the empire and the Abyss. Besides, I think that this young lad adores you so much that he will think twice before committing such atrocity against us." Altria said directing the prince a meaningful smile.

"Yes, you can have my word for it, my lady. I bear no ill intent for your house or your precious daughter. I'm just here to cheer her up and be amicable." Aurelius reassured earning a smile from Altria and an eye roll from Ruby.

"You can show him the luxury parts and exclude the actual stronghold. That should be sufficient for you to have fun and see Edelweiss's portraits, yes?"

"Certainly. I thank you graciously my lady for your generosity." Aurelius thanked bowing happily to his soon to be future mother-in-law while Ruby glared at him.

"You are dismissed." Altria ordered before returning to the paper works in her desk.

Ruby only sighed and frowned as she dragged the prince by the back of his collar out of her mother's office.

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"This is the tea room, ballroom, playroom, sunroom, music room, art room, great hall, kitchen, pantry, butteries, the solar, and the rooftop garden." Ruby enumerated boredly as Aurelius followed obediently on her tail snapping pictures here and there especially when he sees her portraits.

"You are so beautiful even when you were young, Ruby. I knew you'd grow up to be the fairest of them all."

"Spare me your sweet silver tongue and just keep walking. We're nearly finished with our house tour you only need to see the drawing-room and the west wing hallway where you can find the other portraits including my own work. Hopefully, after that, I can finally get rid of you."

"Woah, you're an artist as well, that's amazing!"

"And a dancer, a huntress, and a bit of a singer. It's no big deal. I'm not really that great, just average."

"Oh don't be too humble I know you're great at whatever you do. And I'll like it even if it's bad because I'm your best friend."

"No, I'm your best friend but you're not mine because you don't have any other friends. Speaking of which, why is that?"

"Ruby that's so savage. You break my heart for the nth time but I still love you. And I don't have other friends because I don't like plastic people who only want to use me for political gain and fame."

"Ewww, don't use the "L" word on me. My fiancée just died."

"So can I see you perform? I'm very curious."

"Perhaps if I invite you to a ball but I doubt it."

"That's not fair. I've heard you sing but I don't think I ever saw you dance before. Are you sure you can really dance or do you just wave your arms and hips and then call it dancing?"

"How dare you? I'll have you know that my moves can make even the demons of the Abyss swoon." Ruby boasted proudly.

"Let me be the judge of that."

"Perhaps you can on the Blood Moon Ball. I presume you will be attending."

"I wasn't planning to but now I do. What color will you be wearing?"

"I'm not sure yet. Carmilla and I are supposed to shop together after the opera but now I guess I'll have to do it on my own. And don't you dare think about matching clothes with me to make us look like a couple or I'll tear your clothes to shreds."

"I'm fine with that."

"Eww, don't take it that way or I'll drop you next from the balcony instead of your flowers."

"So you were really planning on throwing those out and singing melodramatic on loop?"

"Yes, and you don't care. Moving on, this painting is one of my earliest works when I was twelve. I used to play around in this lake a lot and pretend that I'm a mermaid like every other girl but unlike every other girl I actually own the lake." Ruby explained as she pointed at an oil painting hanging in front of them.

"Aww, it's so cute. Your works have so much passion in them its almost envious. Can you paint me as well, like your lake? In nude, if you please." Aurelius requested with shining eyes making Ruby sneer.

"Definitely not." Ruby simply answered staring at him with sullen annoyance.

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"What is this thing and what are the tiny floating balls inside? It looks like mud water with floating goat shit." Ruby inquired after Aurelius handed her a big cup of something foreign to her.

"Ruby it's called a milk tea or bubble tea, it's rather famous in the empire. The flavor is watermelon and the floating things are called tapioca balls. It's delicious you should try it." the prince suggested as he drank from his own drink.

Ruby was still skeptical about the drink but she tried it anyway.

"It has an odd taste at first but..." Ruby commented before taking another sip.

"It's surprisingly delicious and quite addictive. Rejoice prince of Moniyan you actually did something good for once. You're not a complete and total shit after all. Just a huge chunk with a tiny sliver of usefulness." Ruby praised as she happily sipped her milktea.

"I'm not really sure that's a compliment but as long as you're happy I'm contented. It's surprising how you never knew about milktea until now since they're quite famous these days." Aurelius said as they walked the streets of Rosebelle another city in the north where beautiful edifice and rich establishments stood proudly boasting myriads of expensive products and services.

It's been five days since Aurelius arrived in Colchester and ever since then, Ruby had been forced to give him a tour around the whole place. The prince had begged her mother to allow Ruby to accompany him on the tour of a lifetime around Cadmure and surprisingly, her mother happily agreed for some unknown reason. The two of them have been going around Rosebelle for hours now visiting landmarks, famous shops and restaurants, and tasting the different delicacies and specialties the north has to offer.

Aurelius is a troublesome bastard and he flirts with her every time he has the chance but he doesn't seem to be interested in any other girls even though they've passed by some of the most beautiful and well-endowed women in the north he only keeps his eyes glued on Ruby making her more suspicious of his true intent. However, he genuinely seems to be enjoying the tour due to the unparalleled look of joy in his face when they go someplace new and pretty. Nevertheless, he is quite idiotic at times and careless.

During their trip to the menagerie, the prince had abducted a cute tiny ice bear cub and offered it to Ruby.

"Ruby, can he be our baby? He's so cute, isn't he?" Aurelius begged, lifting the bear to her face.

"Put him back you idiot!" she yelled at him furiously.

"Oh, mommy seems angry Little Edelrelius. Can you give her a kiss so that she won't be mad anymore?" he cooed to the cub.

"Edelrelius?" Ruby questioned with distaste.

"Yeah, I'm still indecisive between Rulius or Edelrelius but Aurelweiss is also a top tier because Rubelius and Aurby sound weird."

"Whut?" Ruby asked with gritted teeth.

"Our couple name." The Prince simply answered as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Sir put that bear down that's illegal!" A zoo staff yelled before Aurelius pulled her to a sprint with the bear in hand. This exacerbated their deed because it made them look like they were trying to abduct the bear ending up with Altria having to be summoned to mend their crime.

Ruby was the one to earn an earful from her mother instead of the actual perpetrator. She retaliated by kidnapping him from his hotel room and leaving him in a bear cave while covered in honey. The amusement was more than enough to give her a good laugh for years to come and a worthy revenge served sweet and ruthless. However, even with this insane prank, Aurelius doesn't seem the least bit fazed or annoyed at her. He was fine with the whole ordeal and never even retaliated to get back at her.

The Prince was never angry at her no matter what she say or do to him. In fact, the only time Ruby saw him angry was when she kissed a knight on the cheek as an amicable gesture and the prince who saw the whole exchange, almost flipped when her lips grazed the man's flesh. The bloodthirsty look on his eyes was unparalleled like a feral animal. It astounded even Ruby and even made her tremble for a moment until the knight left.

"Do you rarely come out of your manor to just have fun in the city?" Aurelius inquired while they traverse through a well crafted yellow brick bridge.

"While mother handles a lot of the political aspects including the military, I sometimes took it upon myself to look after the well being of the people and take care of the monsters so I rarely go out and have some fun. I hunt monsters myself to protect the land that my mother loves and to protect her people. I

built hospitals, shelters, and other stuff including laws and movements for the agriculture and other labor class sectors. Farmers and craftsmen are being looked down upon as mere tools or slaves who can only plow the field and grow stuff from the dirt but I quite like them. Unlike the people of nobility, they are actually real people. They have feelings too and their own consciousness. For me, every job is equally important be it ruling a kingdom or plowing the fields. If the farmers don't work everyone will starve, if the carpenters don't build we wouldn't have anywhere to live, they're just as important as the king."

"Ruby...that's..." Ruby noticed the serious look on Aurelius' face so she quickly interrupted him to amend herself.

"I know what I said sounds sacrilegious but it's just my feeling. I'm sorry for saying that and disrespecting your father. It was completely impulsive on my part." she apologized solemnly.

"No, Ruby it's wonderful. No offense taken. Your immense passion and love for equality are admirable, even though it's naive and you're idealistic, I will do everything in my power to protect what you believe in."

Ruby frowned but didn't say anything. He thinks that equality is naive and idealistic? How narcissistic and elite supremacist. The two of them will never really get along if he keeps on looking down on others.

"We've covered all the cities so far, what's the last thing in your itinerary so that we can get this absurd tour over with?" Ruby asked in a low voice.

"My last place in mind is Mount Belladoom but you seem... sour, Ruby. Are you okay? We can postpone if you want." he offered worriedly pushing the locks of hair that fell on her face.

"Don't touch me!" she yelled slapping his hand away earning the attention of the other passersby.

"Ruby, what's the matter? What did I say?" Aurelius tried asking but Ruby only ignored him, conscious of their crowd.

"Let's please cancel tomorrow's arrangement. I'm no longer feeling well to do anything anymore. I just want to rest I'm sorry for yelling at you. Farewell, your highness." Ruby gave him a courtesy before walking away rapidly, making the prince unable to confront her further.

Aurelius' gaze followed her fleeting form with an unreadable blank expression that is clearly far from amused. She pushed him away once again and he didn't even know what he did. Is there any way for him to change and be someone that she'll like? Or is there any way he can make her love him?

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