chapter twenty-eight
shopping maul

🖤

THE FIVE OF THEM RUSH INTO THE movie theatre; Dustin claims they're 'laying low,' in hopes the Russians will give up looking after them, but Ruby thinks it's because he's already fed up of babysitting a drugged Steve and Robin. She wants to take Dustin back to last year, when her and Steve were trying to corral the middle schoolers. Ruby's randomly reminded they won't be middle schoolers as of this September. Ew.

They slip into one of the theatres, Back to the Future playing. It's mostly packed, but there's a couple seats left over next to one another. They start walking down the stairs.

"There's three seats here," says Dustin, to Ruby. "Keep an eye on them."

"Why me?" she hisses, and someone behind them shushes them.

"He's your boyfriend!" says Dustin.

Ruby looks to her side, where Steve's already sat down. He's eating popcorn, and Ruby has no clue how he gained that. He smiles up at her, patting the seat next to him. Ruby grimaces.

"You owe me one, Henderson," she mutters.

"Sit between us!" says Steve, and he hops over to give Ruby the seat between him and Robin.

Ruby looks at the seat in disbelief. Robin looks up at her, dreamily.

"Yeah, Ruby," says Robin. "Roo-bee."

The guy who shushed them a minute ago shushes them again. Ruby's about to say something, but Steve tugs at her (stolen) jacket, and she begrudgingly sits down between the two drugged morons.

They're towards the end of the movie, Ruby remembers this part. McFly's about to go back to the future. She sinks into her seat, and in her perisperhal vision, can see (a) Robin chewing her hair, and (b) Steve eating popcorn from the trash. Ruby sighs.

She tries to focus on the film, but she keeps on glancing over at Steve — in particular, the blood all over him. His uniform is stained, and Ruby can't get the image of his bloody face out of her head. She feels sick to her stomach. But she thinks about last year, how Billy did the same to him — and then she thinks about the year before, when his face was bloody and swollen from Jonathan. Ruby keeps on thinking about all of these times where his head's been knocked so bad he should have a concussion, and what's the common denominator? They've all happened around the time the Upside Down has flared up. She knows it isn't her fault, but then, does this not feel like too weird to be a coincidence?

"It's all of your fault," the Mind Flayer tells her.

Not now, she thinks.

"You know he's going to die for you, don't you?"

Ruby sits forwards, her head hurting again.

"Why do you think him and Dustin thought they could fight those Russians? Because he's seen you do the same. You've given him too much courage."

She squeezes her hands into fists. She knows the Mind Flayer is saying this to make her weak, to try and get himself an in back into her mind, but still. She hates hearing this.

"He loves you too much. He's going to try and save you, and it's going to kill him. You and I both know it, Ruby."

Ruby looks over at Steve — at her perfect boyfriend, who she loves to death. He's watching the movie happily, blissful unaware of the war in her mind. This is what he always would've been like if she didn't let him get involved. She doesn't like hearing this, because the Mind Flayer's telling the truth. One day she won't be there to protect him, or he'll die for her. Either way, it'll be her fault. The love of her life, dead.

"Can you picture it?" the Mind Flayer says, and he begins to force into her mind the image of her boyfriend — he's coughing for air, his skin's covered in his own blood. A monster of some sort is attacking him, eating away at his insides—

Ruby gets up, and runs to the bathroom, puking into the closest toilet.

She wipes her mouth, but before she can even control it, she's balling her eyes out. What's the point in all of this? He's going to die for her. He's going to die. She knows it, she does. She wishes she could go back in time and stop him from finding out about any of this. She thinks back to that night at the Byers', and how she let him into the house, where the demogorgon was. God, she wishes she could go back, she wishes she made him leave.

Because now, here he is, bloody and bruised again, because she's let him into all of this mess! He sacrificed his life last year fighting those demogorgons, he told her he'd go into a burning building for her. She can't let this happen to him again! She can't count the amount of times he's put himself in harms way for her. For her! When she can protect herself!

"Rubes?"

Steve and Robin are standing there, in the doorway of the toilets. Ruby looks up. She looks at her boyfriend's face, as he frowns, confused why she's so upset. More tears run down her face.

"You're going to get yourself killed one day," she says, quietly.

He sits down next to her, clearly still high. "Hey, hey, hey," he says, and he puts his hands on her face. She's reminded of the popcorn he's been eating from the trash, and she takes his hands off. "You're so pretty."

Ruby rolls her eyes.

"This always happens," she says. She doesn't care he's too drugged to understand, she needs to say this out-loud. "You always get into these situations, and it's because I got you involved. This has nothing to do with you. It shouldn't have anything to do with you — or Dustin, or Nancy, or Jonathan. Hell, even Robin!"

Robin, who's been awkwardly stood there, raises a hand, about to wave.

Ruby glares. "Put the hand back down."

Robin, eyes wide, does as she's told.

"I'm just so tired." Ruby brings her knees to her chest, burying her face. "I'm so tired of fighting. Why can't someone else do this? Why—Why can't I be normal?"

"Is anyone truly normal?" says Robin.

Ruby could murder her. "Sorry?"

"Everyone has something that makes them weird, you know? Like, I was band geek in school. Some people are nerdy, other people like weird music... Everyone has something that makes them feel not-normal, but then, if everyone's not normal, can anyone be completely normal?"

Ruby feels complete rage take over her.

"Nope," she says, standing up. "I'm not babysitting anymore."

"You're not babysitting," says Steve, scoffing.

Ruby steps over his legs, washes her hands, and goes to the door. She waves her hand, motioning to Robin to move away from the door. As Ruby places her hand on the door, she turns back to the two.

"Stay in here," she says. "I will murder you. I'm not joking."

"I thought you said you didn't want me to die," says Steve.

Ruby pauses for a moment, trying to calm herself down.

"Harrington. Robin." She says Robin, because she doesn't know her surname. "Stay. In. Here."

"Got it," says Robin, spooked.

Steve rolls his eyes, too drugged to realise the situation.

Ruby lets herself out of the bathroom. She stands outside — she knows she can't go too far, in case these idiots escape — but she can't be around them. This is too much for her.She's had so much on her plate, her entire life, and she's had enough. The Upside Down is talking to her now? When did she ask for that? She didn't, she didn't, and yet it's her problem. It's always her problem. She has to deal with people dying because of demogorgons and demodogs — she had to explain to Nancy what the monsters even were, when they killed Barb — and yeah, El's here now, but she wasn't before. It's always been Ruby. Always.

She wants to leave. She's had enough. She wants to move far away from all of this shit. She never, ever wants to come back to Hawkins. Ruby wants to move somewhere where it's always hot. The monsters hate the heat, so she'll sweat them out. They won't be able to get her if she's miles and miles away from Hawkins. It's always been Hawkins and it's always been Ruby — and she is done.

No more. No more.

But as she thinks about Steve, her heart begins to crack. He can't be around this anymore, too. But he'll refuse to leave Hawkins, she knows that, because he's already said it. He'll want to come back to see Dustin and the kids, and she doesn't want to force him to leave his whole life, anyway.

Ruby wipes another tear.

There's one thing she knows she has to do, and although it'll save him, it's going to kill her.

🖤

THE SECOND RUBY LEAVES, STEVE FEELS his stomach churn — and before he knows it, he's kneeling over the toilet, throwing his guts up.

Robin must've felt the same, because he hears her in the next stall, retching, bile splashing into the toilet water. Steve hates vomit. He pukes and he pukes, tears gathering in his eyes. He takes in a breath, and sits back, flushing the toilet.

"The ceiling stopped spinning for me," says Robin. "Is it still spinning for you?"

Steve looks up, and in amazement, it isn't.

"Holy shit," he says. "No. You think we puked it all up?"

"Maybe," says Robin. "Ask me something." In a bad Russian accent, she adds, "Interrogate me."

"OK, interrogate you, sure," he says, and he tries to think of something to even suggest. His brain still feels a little... wobbly from the drugs. "Um... when was the last time you, uh, peed your pants?"

"Today," says Robin. "When the Russian doctor took out the bone saw." Steve shakes his head, but in the next stall, he can hear her giggling to herself. "It was just a little bit, though." She pronounces little like liddle.

"Yeah, it's definitely still in her system," he mutters, rolling her eyes.

"All right, my turn," says Robin.

Steve's surprised by this, but he shrugs. "Okay. Hit me."

"Have you..." And she pauses for a second, to think of something. "OK, no. I've got a better question. Were you and Ruby hooking up, when you were just friends?"

Steve frowns. Robin's always asked questions about Ruby, something he doesn't quite get. Like, he knows she can't be jealous of Ruby, because Robin clearly doesn't like him, but still, what is this fascination? He's surprised about this question, too. It reminds him of the first half of high school, before he found out about demogorgons and Ruby's powers. God, the amount of times Tommy asked if Steve and Ruby had fucked...

"No, we were just friends," he says. "Genuinely, I mean that. But... I always think I've been in love with her, you know? I just didn't realise until a couple of years ago..."

"Yeah, I get that," says Robin, who sighs. "I've never been in love."

Steve feels bad, hearing the sadness in Robin's voice. He's spent this whole summer, talking about his girlfriend non-stop. He didn't think that it would be shitty for Robin to hear, but maybe he should've been more thoughtful.

"I mean, every guy I know is a douche, so I can't really set you up," he tells her. "Everyone our age, I mean. But — maybe I can find you someone. You're so great, Robin, and I wish I had known you in school. Maybe then I wouldn't be here, with noway to go to college... What I'm saying it, any guy would be lucky to have you. I bet I can find you a great guy—"

"You don't need to do that," says Robin, uncomfortably.

"Why not?" he says. "You deserve to be happy."

"I—" Robin pauses. "I don't need you to find me anyone."

"But I want you to be happy! I bet if we look, there'll be some guy good enough for you, somewhere in Hawkins—!"

"Steve, stop!"

And he does — but he frowns, confused. She sounded so upset about having never been in love, and yet, when he's offering to help, she turns it down? She's gone quiet, and Steve looks to his side, to the stall she's in. He lies on his back, sliding underneath the stall to get into hers.

Robin looks at him. "That's gross, Steve."

"Yeah, whatever," he says. "Are you OK?"

"Yeah," she says, but she wipes a tear, so she's clearly lying.

"Rob," he says. "I've been best friend with a girl my entire life, I'm a walking therapist by this point."

Robin laughs, and she sniffs snot back up her nose.

"I can't tell you, Steve," she says. "Look... you don't even know me. And if you did know me, like... like really know me, I don't think you'd even want to be my friend."

"No, that's not true," says Steve, shaking his head. "No way is that true."

"Listen to me, Steve," says Robin. She looks across at him, smiling weakly. "It's shocked me to my core, but I like you. I really like you. But I'm not like your other friends. And I'm not like Ruby Brenner."

"Robin, that's exactly why I like you," says Steve. "I love my girlfriend, yeah, but I don't want everyone in my life to be like her. I really like being friends with you, and maybe it's because I haven't had a friend like you before, but that's not me being an asshole to you or Rubes."

Robin looks away for a second, closing her eyes. Steve doesn't quite understand, and he thinks that's why Robin's getting emotional. There's something that Steve doesn't know, and he can't figure out. "Do you remember what I said about Click's class?" says Robin, finally. "About me being jealous and, like, obsessed?"

Somehow, he remembers; them in the Russian fortress, and in-between interrogations, Robin talking about how they spent a whole semester sat next to each other. He never even noticed. But she did — how he was always late, how he'd bring his breakfast in with him. It made him feel guilty, remembering how he used to be... He isn't sure what this has to do with now, though.

"Yeah?" he says.

"It isn't because I had a crush on you," says Robin. She looks back at him, but struggles to hold his gaze for too long, looking uncomfortable. "It's because... she wouldn't stop staring at you."

"Mrs Click...?"

"No," says Robin, letting out a sigh. She goes silent for a minute, and Steve frowns, unsure if she'll actually tell him who this she is. Slowly, gradually, she glances at him, and says, "Ruby."

Robin rests the back of her head against the wall. "I wanted her to look at me. But... you guys said you hated each other, and yet, she wouldn't pull her eyes away from you and your stupid hair. And I didn't understand, because you would get bagel crumbs all over the floor. And you asked dumb questions. And you were a douchebag. And—And you didn't even notice the most beautiful girl in the whole school staring at you, and, I'd go home, and I'd just scream into my pillow..."

Steve doesn't understand. "But... Ruby's a girl."

Robin's voice breaks as she goes, "Steve."

And suddenly, it makes sense.

"Oh."

He remembers this entire summer, Robin talking on and on about Ruby. How perfect she was, how awkward she felt around her. Suddenly, it all makes a lot of sense.

"Yeah," says Robin.

"Holy shit."

"I... didn't plan for my only friend to be her boyfriend, though," says Robin, awkwardly.

Steve raises his hand, stretching out his little finger. "I won't tell anyone, I promise," he says. "Not even Ruby. Cross my heart."

Robin looks down at his pinky. "God, you were best friends with a girl."

"Just let me promise, you moron," he tells her, and she wraps her little finger around his.

"Thank you," says Robin, with a small smile.

The door flies open; Ruby steps in, with Dustin and Erica standing behind her. She looks at the two in the cubicle, and she frowns. Steve knows his girlfriend's overthinking, and although he knows there's nothing for her to worry about (if anything, it should be him worrying), she doesn't know that, and she can't. So Steve tries to act casual.

"We puked the drugs up," he says, and gives her a thumbs-up.

Ruby grimaces. "I... heard."

"The movie's just ended," says Dustin, clearly irritated by babysitting Steve and Robin. (Steve would like to add, what did he do last year? Oh, yeah, that's right — babysit those shitheads!) "We can blend into the crowd, and get out of here!"

"Get out of here?" says Ruby, raising an eyebrow. "We're meeting your friends here."

Erica looks pissed off. "I thought we were going home—!"

Dustin frowns. "What? When did you all agree on that?"

"Uh, right after I was un-possessed by the Mind Flayer," says Ruby, and she smiles.

Steve's eyes widen. "Un-possessed? When were you possessed?"

"Like, the last two days," says Ruby. "Why'd you think it took me so long to get you out of that shithole?"

Steve can't count the amount of times that he looks at his girlfriend, and he thinks, what the actual fuck. He looks across at Robin, too, aware that she's brand-new to all of this — and she looks so confused.

But Ruby steps forwards, extending her hand to help Robin up.

"You're not easily scared, right?" says Ruby.

Robin looks at Steve — he now knows why she's so stunned around Ruby — and she looks back at Ruby, shaking her head. "Uh, no?"

"Good," says Ruby. "'Cause we're killing a monster."

ok ok ok. i did not want to make robin's coming out about steve, but like, it would be weird to randomly have a new pov? like i can do that when ruby's possessed lol, but if she's not, it'll be too confusing if it's more than her and steve. so i hope it doesn't read that much like it's about the straight boy and not robin. also same with ruby -- i think it makes sense for robin to have liked ruby over tammy (lol) especially considering a main part of this story is ruby's sexualisation/attractiveness... but having said that, i really hope it doesn't read as being about ruby over robin. if that makes sense?

but yeah! i hope you enjoyed! 2 more chapters left until season 4!!! (i wrote this author's note in august and it is almost october... i have had major writer's block over the next chapter so pls give me some motivation/inspiration)😭😭