chapter one
all about ruby

🖤

october, 1984

THIS IS THE STORY OF THE WORST WEEK of Ruby Brenner's life.

Which is saying something. It really is. The girl was born in a fucking laboratory and still, this week takes the cake. Not any of the weeks in that lab, not the week her mom died, not the week that monster started following her around... This week. Halloween, 1984.

But, to explain it all, we need to go back.

It's the morning of the first day; the October air is cold and crisp as she sprays de-icing mist on her car, and she's already chucked her schoolbooks onto the passenger seat. She goes back inside, to drink the rest of coffee.

Sometimes, Ruby has to remind herself that things could be worse. Things could be a lot worse. Things could be so catastrophically disastrous that she wouldn't even be having the privilege of this conversation. She could be like those other kids, wrapped up in the lab's walls their entire lives. But she wasn't; which is good for her, because aside from that stuff, her life's pretty sweet. Or, at least, until the lab stuff reappears, and then everything goes sour.

Take for example: last year. She was on the road to being Snowflake Queen. And then that stupid kid goes missing and Ruby feels the need to help (she just knows it's the lab's doing) and her friends think she's fucking Jonathan Byers in his car. Which, OK, no. Ruby's dad's on the police force, and as much as she hates his guts, if anyone saw his kid fooling around in a car? She'd be screwed. But anyway. They think she's hooking up with him, and just like that, her fiery grip on the student body loosens. She's almost reclaimed it now, but it slipped monstrously for a while, fumbling Snowflake Queen in the process.

But it's fine. There's this year to get it, and to get Spring Fling Queen. And then she'll leave high school as the coolest, hottest, most popular girl that's ever graced the halls. Forget Jackie in '53, it'll be all about Ruby Brenner from now on. Maybe it'll be inspirational. How she worked her way back to the top. She'd be inspired by her. She is inspired by herself. Do you see her curtain bangs? It's inspirational that she styles them every morning.

But, anyway. The real thing that's making her think, things could be worse, is this:

"They've cancelled the meeting tomorrow, so you don't have to be home alone."

Ruby could actually cry. She loves her auntie, sure, but she was counting on her being out of town tonight.

See, tonight is Halloween — and, the night of her Halloween party. She's been hiding party supplies under her bed since September, having driven to a party store in the city to get black solo cups. She's had mixtapes figured out all summer long — Tommy helped with that, which got her back in his good books — and the decorations? Carol has a good eye for them, having been on the prom committee since freshman year. (Again: back in her good books! It all works out for Ruby.) Everything's planned to perfection. Even her new boyfriend's gonna come, and he's the coolest guy in school, which is extra cool points for her. The party will be casual, sure, but it'll be the perfect, most amazing Halloween party Hawkins have ever seen. Even cooler than Jimmy F.'s in '72.

(And he did become Snowflake King.)

But. There is one issue in the way right now, and that is her auntie. She used to let her have parties, but ever since what happened with Barb last year... Ruby's banned.

Things could be worse, though. Ruby likes to think of these situations as minor bumps in the road. Sure, she isn't going to Indianapolis, but, Ruby can fix that. It's not over until Ruby says it's over.

So Ruby plays it cool.

"Maybe we could go out for dinner?" says Ruby, eating her cereal casually. Her auntie's an amazing businesswoman, although Ruby doesn't really know what she does. All she knows is that Auntie Maggie works hard at her job, and they've got money because of it. Like... They've got a swimming pool, and everything out back. And, Maggie picks Ruby up new clothes when she's in the city. "I don't have swimming later, so..."

"Ooooh, I'd love that!" says her auntie, because her auntie's the coolest. She's her mom's younger sister, who took Ruby in when her mom died and her dad went boozy. Sometimes Ruby gets the impression that her auntie sees her as her personal Barbie, but also her big sister resurrected, which all means that they get along nicely. "You know, I've been talking to some builders about the mall... And well... I can't wait to tell you all of the gossip about what's what."

Her auntie has some connection to the mall being built outside of Hawkins; Ruby isn't sure how or why, but she likes to be in on the news. Apparently the Gap is going to be two storeys.

"Oooooh," says Ruby, sounding just like her auntie.

Ruby puts her bowl in the sink, to leave for school. She makes up an excuse to run back upstairs for something, and quickly dips into her auntie's office to grab a phone number. She pockets the Post-It, and presents her auntie the textbook she 'forgot.' (The day she learns her timetable is the day Ruby's screwed.)

This is all going to work out. It will. Ruby's of the mindset that whatever energy you give out, you get it back, so she's all about optimism here. And, when she puts on the car stereo, the radio's playing Walking on Sunshine. So, really, the whole world, yet again, is on her side.

Because, what Maggie doesn't know is that Ruby always has another plan up her sleeve. Her powers are meant to protect her, and, well, this is how she protects herself. Endless plans and schemes to keep her safe. To keep her on top. To keep her happy... To keep her normal.

"Good morning," says Carol, when Ruby steps out of her car. Ruby slides her sunglasses onto the top of her head. "Who's excited for tonight?"

"Oh, we've got a phone call to make later," says Ruby, and she explains the situation. What Ruby likes about Carol is that she's very easily annoyed — which makes her happy to help out Ruby in these situations.

Carol's lip is all twisted. Ruby didn't realise a Halloween party was that life-threatening.

"We've got that study period after first, let's do it then," says Carol, and Ruby nods. "There's no way..."

Another plan of hers — another one that worked out pretty smoothly — pulls into his normal parking spot, making Carol drift off. The two girls exchange a glance; Carol thinks it's the coolest, and that Ruby's the coolest, and that makes it even better.

Ruby watches him open his car door, the loud stereo cutting out. He puts his foot on the concrete, with such energy she feels like there's an echo. He's so cool. And hot...

"I'll catch you later," Ruby says to Carol, with a little smirk, before she walks off in the direction of her new boyfriend.

She sees Harrington's car, too, further away, just as he and Nancy get out. Ruby tries to ignore it, and instead, focus on the double denim dreamboat in front of her.

"Hey," she says, a smile on her face.

"You beat me here," Billy says, and grins at her. "I didn't think you could get here before half-past."

"Shut up," she says, but she giggles, so it doesn't really work.

Billy was leaning back against his car, but now, he moves forward. "You'll have to make me, Rubes."

He snakes his arms around her waist, and leans in to kiss her. See, Ruby has never been the biggest fan of PDA. But when it's with someone this hot? She can make an exception.

She pulls back, before it becomes too much. "I need to go to my locker," she tells him, and without another word, Billy puts his arm around her, and they walk away from the parking lot into school.

Ruby has a love-hate relationship with school. See, she hates most of her classes, and wishes she could graduate this second instead of this summer. She hates that her school didn't take her seriously when she applied at fashion colleges, and even when she got into Parsons, they still thought she was being too optimistic. Uh, hello? Doesn't her acceptance speak for itself?

Anyway. The love part of school is pretty simple, and pretty egotistical, but most good things are: this place, for the time being, is her safe haven. Who cares about the lab stuff, when here, she's almost the most popular girl at school, her boyfriend's the hottest guy at school, and the whole world, within these walls, revolves around her. Not Carol, not Tommy, not Harrington, not Nancy — it's all about Ruby Brenner.

Ruby Brenner. Ruby Brenner, who's auntie works the cool business job in the city so she's got a free house, and throws the best parties. Ruby Brenner, best ass in her class. Ruby Brenner, who one time spoke to David Bowie and he told her she was pretty.

(Which is completely true — it happened this summer when she snuck into a cool New York party with Tommy. Then they smoked too much and passed out eating Pizza Hut.)

Like, she knows this popularity isn't forever. But right now, this is the best way to survive in a shithole like this. It's the best way to be perceived as normal, too. And that's all Ruby wants. To be normal.

... Or, like, an unattainably attractive kind of normal. But, nothing weird about her.

"So — when are you gonna tell me what this Halloween costume of yours is?" says Billy, as Ruby gets her textbook from her locker. "Because I'm gonna be real sad if it's not the Playboy—"

"It's better than that," says Ruby, and smiles.

"Really?" he says.

Ruby nods, and then goes, "Are you, uh—?"

But, just as she glances at him, her old best friend walks past, taking her gaze.

It's a long story, why Ruby had to ditch Harrington. But, the main thing is this: he asked too many questions about the lab when he found out, and Ruby doesn't like talking about it, and he wouldn't listen. It was all 'but I don't get how you have these powers,' and nothing about normal things, like, homework, or parties. It was just demogorgon demogorgon demogorgon. Ruby couldn't stand it.

But, on the other hand... It does make her blood boil sometimes, seeing Harrington with Nancy. She doesn't know why. Sometimes she thinks she's jealous of Nancy. Not because of Harrington, just, like... Her life's normal. It always has been. Ruby was born as a test subject; to this day, she has an X tattooed onto her wrist. She's had to stick-n-poke an O next to it, to make it a little more normal.

She doesn't know if she misses Harrington. She knows Harrington doesn't like Billy, and that Billy doesn't like Harrington. Something about masculinity. Ruby isn't all that interested about that sort of stuff. She is, however, obliged to note that her ex-best friend's new sunglasses obsession is pretty cute...

She's not gonna act on it, she's just noting it! She would never cheat. She just thinks it's silly to think that all awareness of other peoples' attractiveness disappears the second you're in a relationship. It doesn't. She's fully aware that Steve is looking a little hotter this year...

"Are you done?"

Ruby flinches, snapping back to reality. Billy looks annoyed.

"Uh—what?"

"Staring at Harrington," says Billy. "Are you done, staring at him?"

Ruby frowns for a second. He looks so pissed off.

She gives Billy a nasty look. "You stare at the cheerleaders during practice, you can't talk," says Ruby.

These sort of disagreements happen a lot more than she'd like to admit.

She gets her textbook out; across the hallway, she can just sense that Harrington is kissing Nancy. Ruby slams her locker shut. "I'll see you later," she says, and under her breath, as she walks away, "Asshole."

She knows exactly why Billy doesn't like Harrington; Harrington used to be the king around here, and Billy wants the throne. She knows that's the only reason they started dated — they both wanted to profit off of the others' popularity. And it's sad, sure, but she guesses it's not so bad. He's nice most of the time. And Ruby doesn't really care that he stares at other girls, because she doesn't think he'd cheat. Sometimes she wonders if she actually likes him, or if she just finds him attractive... And it makes her a little sad, thinking if he's the same.

"Hey, baby," says Billy, having gone after her. He takes hold of her hand and pulls her back to him. "I didn't mean to be a dick."

"He was my best friend," she tells him, and part of her knows he doesn't care, she just has no one else to tell.

Carol and Tommy hate him, and sneer whenever they see him. One time, Tommy tried to fight Harrington at this pool party, and if it wasn't for that random gust of wind that threw him into the pool, Harrington would've been done for. (Ruby says random: you know it was her.) (... She doesn't know why she was protecting him.)

"I get it," says Billy, but she knows he doesn't. "Give me a kiss, I'll see you—"

Someone accidentally walks into Billy, which makes him cut off. Ruby already knows it's Harrington, who looks at the two apologetically.

"Ah, I'm so sorry, Rubes," says Harrington. "I just didn't see you guys...!"

Ruby glares at him, and of course this has irritated Billy enough, who goes, "You going to the party, Harrington?"

"Uh—"

"My girlfriend's party?" says Billy. Ruby almost wants to cringe. "Were you invited? I would've thought, the king—"

"It starts at nine," says Ruby, sighing. "It's costume, Nancy can come too."

Harrington looks at her, avoiding Billy entirely. They don't talk that often now. He gave up trying after a while, especially considering Christmas Eve.

But, she digs out one of the invites from her bag. She talked one of the football players to make her some, since his parents own the camera shop in town. It might've helped that, when she asked, Billy towered over the guy, but still. The invites are cute, with orange paper and a little cartoon ghost that says, 'Let's get sheet-faced.'

She hands it to Harrington, and makes an effort not to touch him. She doesn't know why she does it, but the idea of touching him makes her violently uncomfortable. She really doesn't know why. Maybe she thinks it'll spark something, or remind her of last year...

"We'll be there," says Harrington.

"Can't wait," says Ruby, monotone.

Harrington walks off, in the direction of his first class. Billy has a toothpick in-between his lips again, something Ruby hates, and thinks he does to look cool. She just thinks it's weird.

"How was that kid anyone's king?" he mutters.

Ruby rolls her eyes. "Jealous, much?"

She kind-of hates this part of their relationship. Billy despises Harrington. And every time Harrington is near them, both of them turn sour.

So she sighs, because she knows it'll get better in a couple minutes. "Walk me to class?"

"Sure," says Billy. He doesn't sound like he wants to, just that he's got nothing else to do. Ruby often gets the idea that she's his only actual friend. As in, they sometimes have conversations about school and stuff. She knows he doesn't do that with Tommy and those guys, because all he wants is to impress them... It's funny, sometimes he reminds her of Jonathan. Not that there's nothing wrong with Jonathan, Ruby just wishes she could've stayed friends with him...

🖤

november, 1983

RUBY SITS ON THE PORCH STEPS OF the Byers' house; her hair's fallen behind her shoulders, but parts covered with the monster's blood stick to the side of her face. She's got the red splatters across her face, and all down her clothes. Part of her wants to thank God she wore a black top, but after tonight, she doesn't think she wants to keep these clothes. It's all a reminder of what happened.

"Hey," says Steve, who sits down next to her. "Byers says you can use his bathroom if you want, there's some towels..."

Ruby snorts. "Is this not sexy to you?"

She gestures to herself, to all of the blood that's since dried onto her skin.

Steve smiles. "It is a little cool, to be honest."

"See?" says Ruby, and smiles. She looks away from him, and instead, further out. At the lake down the road, at Steve's car, haphazardly parked outside. She keeps on thinking about how scared he looked, for her safety, earlier... She doesn't fully know why he came looking for her. "Um, so..."

"I don't think I'm gonna get back with Nancy," he tells her.

"Oh," says Ruby.

"I just... I don't think it'll work anymore."

"But you just..." Ruby turns to him, frowning. "Didn't you just, like, risk your life to fight the monster, to keep her safe?"

Steve avoids her gaze for a minute. "... I came here for you."

"Oh," says Ruby.

"I just, um, you know, did some thinking..." says Steve, speaking hesitantly. "And the only girl I'd go into a burning building like that for... is you."

There's a pause. Ruby knows this is when she's meant to say something sweet, but she doesn't know what, or even if she wants to. She's had a shitty couple of days. What if she replies, and it isn't her talking, but rather, her want to feel comforted? She doesn't want to lead him on... Part of her wonders why he hasn't said anything else, anyway. Surely he would, if he felt a certain way?

Eventually he breaks the silence: "What, uh—Why can you do, all of that?"

And Ruby tenses up.

"I don't wanna talk about it."

"I saw you violently kill a monster, how can you even—?" Steve breaks off for a second. Ruby knows she's about to go into herself in a second, to avoid all of this. "Is that the thing you said you saw, last summer?"

Backstory: in the summer, Ruby ate a strong brownie, and transported herself into the upside down. She figured she got too paranoid, and that triggered it. But, she puked the rest of the brownie up, and spent the rest of the night being cradled by Steve, because she had scared herself so much.

That's the only time she's mentioned this stuff to him, because she didn't know what else to do. Her auntie doesn't know about this shit, and this wasn't the way Ruby wanted her to find out, so she told Steve she saw her monster. "Your monster?" he had asked, and she didn't elaborate. Instead, she put her head on his chest, and he held her tightly.

"Yes," says Ruby. "I saw him last summer, I see him most weeks, and I killed him... It." She looks across at Steve, grimacing. "I don't like talking about this."

"I just don't get why you can—"

"It doesn't matter," says Ruby. "It's the least interesting part about me."

"I just wanted to know what happened..." says Steve. "Why did you never tell me?"

"Because it isn't important," says Ruby. As she stands up, she brushes the dirt off of her jeans, which is funny, considering they're still blood-soaked. "I'm going home."

"You're walking?"

"Yes?"

"Let me drive you," says Steve, and he scrambles to follow her.

"No," says Ruby.

"Then, I'll walk with you," he says. "It still might not be safe—"

Ruby turns to him. "No, no, no — this is my ground, Harrington, you cannot tell me what might or might not be out there. I was born into this shit, OK? You swung a bat, once. I am safe on my own, because if you haven't noticed, I can defend myself."

She starts to walk away. Her blood feels like its boiling. She can't believe him, sometimes. Like, sure, he wants to protect her, but isn't it obvious that she knows about this? She doesn't need him to be there, trying to save her.

"... Rubes?"

She spins around. "What?"

Steve sighs. "Even if the monster's not out there, you've got blood all over you, the cops will ask questions."

Ruby pauses. Shit, he's got a point.

🖤

october, 1984

THAT WASN'T THE LAST TIME THEY spoke. It wasn't even the second-to-last, or third-to-last. They went back to normal for the next couple months, and then Christmas Eve happened, and Ruby stopped speaking to him. It wasn't the worst day of her life — this current day is — but it was the worst Christmas. Gingerbread houses just aren't appetising when your best friend professes his love to you, and upon rejection, gets back with his ex, so at least he can be normal again.

But, she brushes that aside, as her and Carol punch in the phone number for her auntie's office. The school has payphones next to one entrance — she isn't too sure why, but it makes this miles easier. Carol handles the phone, and pretends to be a potential client, rescheduling for tomorrow morning, bright and early.

"No, no, we can only do 8AM, anything later... Well, we may have to look elsewhere," says Carol, and she makes her voice more nasally, to sound grown-up. She sounds a lot like her mother, in all fairness. "And I'm sure we can all agree... That would be largely unfortunate for us all."

There's a pause. Ruby waits with baited breath.

If this party doesn't work out... That could be it. Ruby will be even more of a loser than Jonathan, and as much as she loves him, that's not where she wants to be in the social hierarchy. She can kiss Snowflake Queen, and Spring Fling goodbye, and all she'll be left with is sophomore Spring Fling. How pathetic is that? How irrelevant would she be, to just have that, as a senior? As someone who is supposed to be the coolest senior going?

And then, Carol smiles. "Oh, fantastic! I look forward to meeting you!" she exclaims. "Buh-bye, now!"

She hangs up, and turns to Ruby. "Score," she says.

"You are amazing!" says Ruby, and she jumps to hug Carol, grinning. "You are the single-handed reason why this party will even go ahead!"

Carol rolls her eyes. "C'mon."

Ruby frowns. "What?"

"You're Ruby fucking Brenner," says Carol, with a weird look. "If you couldn't throw it, you'd have a line of guys offering their houses up."

This takes Ruby by surprise. She's Ruby fucking Brenner? The way Carol said it, makes Ruby wonder... Maybe she's already back on top, maybe she's already solidified her place. Maybe this party will just be an reminder of her coolness. Maybe she doesn't need her friends' approval, or even Billy, to keep her on top...

I mean, it makes sense, doesn't it? The world revolves around Ruby Brenner... Even when she doesn't notice.

hello & welcome to ruby's body!
i love this fic so lmk what you thought!!<3