Kuroki: There's been a lot of changes. I've made allot of mistakes. I'm ready to face the future and what it brings is still unclear. I used to be afraid of my shadow. I guess it's really been some crazy years. I know it's not completely over.

I still got some years to lived. But today I watch as I made process. And believe it's crazy. It's like I knew along what I always want to do. I dibble a little today. And dibble a little more to create something more.

I learn so many things. And done so many things, yet theirs still more to explore. I am sometimes depress. Sometimes I am just gloom. But today I am happy.

Happy just being near you. I am sorry for so much the things I said. I know it wasn't nice and here's my apology. I am still a coward, I am still a fighten girl, but I'm trying to be braver as you can see. I try to smile more.

I try to be nicer to me. I even sometimes just simply play along and just see where it takes me. I been in deep thought. Just thinking deeply. About you.

About me. And about what I said to you. I say allot of things and I meant at time. But they weren't to be permanent or such. I am not perfect, and I am surely don't think I'm meant to be.

Yet it still seems I pressure myself to be. Unfortunately I done allot of hitting and said allot of things. I have some much loathing that it's only a quarter of love for you. I am sorry that is so. I am sorry I'm not good with my emotions.

And I am sorry I destroy a part of you. I have trouble coping. And how I cope I thought the pain would help. But it didn't and only may it worst. Like a drug it was addicting, but dangerous so.

Cause like a drug if you take too many hits that could lead to a fetal blow. I sometimes though will admit, it's seems to be calming. Sometimes I just hit and image the blood spilling. How scary, is that? To sometimes image your death by yourself.

To know you're the cause for it most of the time. And it's not nearly scary as is suicide. But their the same so why do I brother? I am sad right now. But I think just emotional this is sad.

I suppose, but it's good because I'm releasing emotionally hard things. I forgot what I was saying, but here we go again. I feel Yellow, soft peach, blue, grey too, and a little bit of a sunset. Yellow for calm, peach for peace, blue for sad, grey for tears, and a sunset, because it all seems to fit. I am Happy, sad, and a mad girl.

I'm only 17 soon to be adult. What should I do with my life? That is confusing, but for now I will do what I love and what I love is writing and drawing. And writing poems of course. I enjoy doing them and doing them I do.

Maybe someday I might get a job? Huh that seems far fetch. I'm not sure if I could ever do something like that. But I guess with my drawings improving and working on making stories, anything possible, right? Well that's all I guess. And I'll keep trying to do my best. Til then later.

Apology note to ourselves.