Ruby: I will try to sum up everything that goes on in her head and try to sum her feelings or anything. Also read the poem first before you listen to the song please. You'll understand she thinks. Well ruby understand anyway. Let's begin

She's a quiet girl, a little angel. A goody two shoe work of art. But that's not all me. All the me you'll see. Until I turn around and I go dark. I have many personalities. Some of these you'll frown to see, some of me you'll be glad to see. But then you're drab when I'm sad. You think I was born in a manger, and excell all my major. But, don't worry it's not contagious my sadness as is my anger.

My anger, is like a fury. It burns as bright as the rage I go through. Then when it cools it leaves me in ash. Ashes of the dread that I cause damage. I don't know if not having a male figure in my reality as a dad or having a step dad who has drinking problems effected the girl who is me you see. I sometimes not good at expressing my emotions. I can play off most by just smiling and saying I'm okay. I'm just fine, peachy, I'm day dreaming. But it not really what you see.

You don't see the conflict between me. The consist switching of this me you'll greet. She can be sweet, she can be needy. Or win a sarcastic two face wicket queen reward. She can be a baster, she play the terror. She can also play the one who doesn't care of course. But please remember these are all me, all the little working me you've seen and hadn't. I have some self loathing inside me. Some part of me that wants to be free. That wants to be me.

To be the warrior, be the princess, be able to stand my ground and be brave. I'm terribly easily scare, nervous wreck when it comes to makimg choices. I am not good at it, and I understand I can't just leave it to others to make all her decision, but it's hard. One, there's always a catch with me. It like, I want this, but don't know. It's stressful, it's not knowing and always knowing. If I'm not careful what I choose then I might regret it, or might not want to go through with it. Or better yet, what if it's someone I never meant to hurt. I am always considering all odds or what effect it may have on anyone around me.

When our mom said our granddad died I just had a blank expression and didn't know how to feel. I remember some good memories with him. But I don't remember if I cry. I don't remember if I felt depress or any signs of sadness or grief that someone close to him may had. All I feel is just that he's gone, and our mom is going through this grief. But that's in the past. Back to describing me. There's also a voice inside my head. It's neither good nor neither evil. Brutal conceal that can be a real prick.

He saids awful things, and some good things. He reward me when I've done well, and congrats me when he feels as if I deserve it. Sometimes he gives advise about what to do. When he tries to help, he remains ruby to breath, and drink tea and work on one step at a time. Though other times, he is rude and arrogant, a bully. And he is manipulative and controlling. Ruby can remember him begin only recently created though. What I mean is. Lately when I feel anxious, angry, jittery, upset and even when thinking dark thoughts I sometimes hurt myself. I hurt myself in a way to cope with things I can't understand.

Like why I may feel a certain way when all is well. Or why I may short temper when none did anything wrong or I'm easily anger. I can't understand why I'm upset when everything around me is okay. When most people are happy or when everything is okay. I try to think positive thoughts, but that doesn't mean it changes anything. I try to focus my attention on other matters, but whenever I do. I realize it never fixs anything. Running from my problems doesn't help, but I don't understand my problems to help sometimes. I've been trying for so long to sing you the right song. To show you something different everyday.

So you hear what I have to say. Like a puzzle pieces. Is it because I can't be her? Made me awake then I feel the pain. I can't fix this. I can feel my heart breaking with each mistakes I'm making. I'm running out of patience to pretend. This isn't how I'll let it end. Now I'm fading.

I'm mourning lost here, and that's grinding his gears. How can a human lose their self control? There's nothing that can make this whole. I'm done explaining. I oversaturated my world with nothing, but fantasy. I made everyone happy, but I'm dead inside you see.. The forest you roam now decays with misery. The trees are black and the creaturss aren't all as friendly. The madness now before you, it'll consume you.

All my smiley happy faces all masks to a degree. I hid myself away afraid of what you thought. But I know now the cost..for I'm forever lost. I try to hide my pain with all rhe sunshine, but now you're inside me, you can see all the gore and pain. I wonder if you feel that kind of pain that ripes your insides out, that something I knew all about. Shocking aren't it? Now we're coming to a close. So say a quick hello, to the nightmare inside my head. I'm not so prefect, but if it's all the same. It's time to say. Welcome to my wonderland.