Summary - After a traffic accident reader is left with no memory of her life with Ruben, who desperately tries to get her to remember him.

Enjoy!

You walked into the lecture hall, heart racing as you took a seat. It had been months since the traffic accident that left you with no memory of your life. Returning to university you hoped that familiar surroundings and familiar faces would help you regain some of your lost memories. But as you looked around the room, you realized that you didn't recognize anyone.

A sense of panic washed over you. Who were you before the accident? What had you been like? What were your interests? You glanced down at your notes, hoping to find some clues, but they were all blank. You had no memory of ever taking the course before, let alone studying for it. As the lecture began, you felt like an outsider, watching the other students as they took notes and participated in discussions. You longed to be able to do the same, but you just couldn't remember how.

After class, you approached one of your former classmates, hoping that maybe he could help you. "Hi, do you remember me?" You asked hesitantly.

The boy looked at you blankly before shaking his head. "I don't think so," he said kindly. "I'm sorry."

You felt a sting of disappointment, but you didn't give up. You approached another classmate, and another, but no one recognized you. It was as if you had never existed before the accident.

Back home you trudged through the front door, heels clicking against the hardwood floor. You could feel the weight of the day dragging you down, like an anchor tied to your ankles. Luckily Ruben wasn't home from training to ask you how your day went. What would you even tell him?

You locked yourself in your bedroom , throwing your purse and phone onto the bed before collapsing onto the soft pillows. You could call your parents but then again you didn't want to talk to anyone. You didn't want to think in general. All you wanted to do was to remember.

You closed your eyes for what felt like a minute, waking up to a light knock on your door.

"Y/N? Are you okay?" It was Ruben, knocking on the door. You didn't respond. He tried again, his voice a little softer. "Dinner is ready if you're hungry."

"I'm not hungry." You groaned.

"Oh, okay. Have you eaten already?"

"Yes." You lied.

Ruben was only trying to be supportive, but you just couldn't bring yourself to talk. Not yet. Maybe never.

The minutes ticked by, you heard Ruben wander off to the kitchen. You could hear the sound of the fridge opening, the clink of dishes being set down. Your stomach growled, but you didn't have the energy to get up and get a snack.

Maybe an hour had gone by when you heard the sound of the door opening, and Ruben's footsteps approaching. He sat down beside you on the bed, his hand on your shoulder.

"Hey, I brought you some food," he held up a plate of crackers and cheese. "I know you're not hungry, but I thought you might want something to eat."

You looked up at him, feeling a lump form in your throat. You knew you couldn't keep this up forever. You took a deep breath and let it out in a rush.

"It was a rough day, but I don't want to talk about it."

Ruben just nodded, his hand still on your shoulder. He handed you a cracker. You took a bite, the salty flavor filling your mouth.

"I'm here for you," he said. "Whenever you're ready to talk, I'm here."

You nodded, feeling a sense of gratitude.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Of course."

You sat up in bed.

"Were we happy?"

"What do you mean?" He frowned.

"In our marrige, were we happy, like before my accident?" You never imagined you'd be married at the age of twenty four. What you and Ruben had together must have been special.

He looked at you a bit taken back. "Yes. I'd say that we were happy. Very happy actually."

"How do you know?"

Ruben's eyebrows furrowed.

"Did I tell you that I was happy, like with words?"

"Y/N, whatever happened today..."

"Forget about that." You waved. "I just want to know if there was ever a time in our relationship that I wasn't happy and if I ever told you the reason?" Like the fact that nobody in your class knew of you.

Ruben sighed, looking to try his best to give you an answer that would satisfy you. "There was a time not long before the accident..."

"Yes?"

"You were often tired and struggling with food. But it wasn't necessarily because you were unhappy. You were also..."

"What? I was what?"

Ruben hesitated. "Y/N what really happned today? Please, you can tell me."

You shook your head. "I went to class and it wasn't what I expected, that's all."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"I still think I have to go back there. For my memory."

He nodded. "I understand."

You tilted your body, letting it rest against Ruben's. For the moment he was all you had. The only thing about your past and present to hold on to.

"Another question." You said.

"Shoot."

"Do you have any fears?"

You looked up to see Ruben pondering the question.

"Yes." He said. "Many fears, actually."

"Oh, yeah? What's your biggest one?"

Ruben chest rose and fell as he let out a deep sigh. "My biggest fear is probably that you'll do remember me someday. But that you'll realize that I'm not enough for you, that you'd want to leave."

"Oh."

Not the answer you expected from him. It was deep and honest.

"My biggest fear is that I'll do remember my life before the accident. I'm afraid I'll remember it and not be satisfied with who I've become as a person."

"Compared to...?"

"Who I was as a child."

Ruben nodded. "Well, I've also had that fear. But I've realized that growing up isn't somthing worth fearing, especially if you are surrounded by people you love and people that love you."

"Isn't that the same thing?"

"What?"

"Surrounding yourself with people that you love and people that love you. It's the same thing, no?"

Ruben shook his head.

"It's not? Elaborate please."

"Well, right now I'm sitting next to you, right? I'm surrounded by you."

"Right."

"However, that doesn't necessarily mean that you love me."

"I guess not." You thought about it, how you felt about Ruben. He made you feel safe, yes. And there was definitely more feelings to unfold within you, but love... you weren't sure if you were ready to express those words exactly.

"I'm so sorry Ruben."

"For what?" He frowned.

"I can't imagine how confusing this must be for you too." Here you were feeling sorry for yourself. Forget about strangers in a classroom not knowing who you are. You couldn't imagine having your loved ones forget about you.

"We're in this together right?" Ruben said, wrapping an arm around your shoulders.

"Right." You nodded. "Together."