Summary - After a traffic accident reader is left with no memory of her life with Ruben, who desperately tries to get her to remember him.

Enjoy!

You were sitting in the kitchen staring blankly at your phone in disbelief. Your parents were on the other end, wishing you a happy birthday. Another thing you didn't remember, your own birthday.

"Happy birthday, honey!" Your mom chirped, oblivious to your mortification. "We hope you're having a wonderful day!"

"Thank you." You awkwardly mumbled. Just then Ruben entered the kitchen. He frowned at your paused expression. "What?"

You pointed at the phone. "It's my mom, she's wishing me a happy birthday."

Ruben perked up in suprise. Seems like you weren't the only one that had forgotten about it.

"I'll talk to you soon mom, bye for now." You hung up the phone and welcomed the silence between you and Ruben.

"So it's your birthday." He said.

You didn't blame him for forgetting. You had both been so busy trying to get back on track with your lives.

"It's my birthday." You shrugged.

"What would you like to do?"

You didn't get to answer Ruben's question before there was a knock on the door, somone letting themselves in.

"Surprise!" Rachel exclaimed. She entered the kitchen holding up a giant birthday balloon. "Guess what, I'm throwing you a birthday party tonight!"

You looked to Ruben, who looked equally puzzled.

"Rachel, how did you...?"

"Remember Y/N's birthday?" She turned to you. "He forgot, didn't he? Just like last year."

"Rachel, what are you..."

"I'm taking Y/N shopping for a dress to wear to tonight." She came around the kitchen island, grabbing your arm, forcing you to get up and out of your seat.

"But Rachel, Y/N need to..."

"She deserves a party Ruben."

Ruben was brought back by her stern tone.

"She's been through alot and deserves to be celebrated, right Y/N?"

You were lost for words. You wanted to turn to Ruben for answers but somthing told you that he would let you make the decision for yourself.

"I want a party."

"You do?" Ruben frowned.

You nodded. "It might help with my memory."

"Great!" Rachel jolted, her red hair bouncing with her jumping. She continued to drag you out of the kitchen, out into the hallway and towards the front door. "Ruben, you meet us up at the penthouse at seven, I'm throwing the party there. Everything is already arranged, food, DJ, you name it. But can you please make sure to invite some of your teammates." She paused in the doorway. "But only the cute ones."

"Rachel I don't think..."

"Okay, bye!"

The door was slammed behind your back. Rachel drove a black BMW with tinted windows, but offered to roll yours down as you wanted to see where you were headed. She took you into the city, to the epicentrum of where the shopping was done in Manchester. You were going along with things that your nineteen year old self didn't agree with, like trying on promiscious lingerie and dresses that barely cut below your waist.

"Try this black one. I know Ruben loves a woman in black."

Rachel accompanied you into the fairly large dressing room.

"Have you been friends for a long time, you and Ruben?" You asked.

"Ever since he moved to England." She smiled.

"Well, where is he originally from?"

"Portugal." Rachel laughed. "Hasn't he told you that?"

"No."

"Well you guys must have a lot to catch up on, with your memory being lost and all."

You nodded. There was alot that you still didn't know about Ruben, like how you two met and how far into the relationship that he purposed to you.

"I should tell you..."

You met Rachel's eyes in the dressing room mirror. "Yes?"

"He and I used to date you know... before he met you."

"You and Ruben?"

She nodded, helping you pull up the zipper to your dress.

"Oh."

You were not sure how you were suppose to react.

"It was only for a short while though. A mistake, Ruben calls it."

"He said that?" You frowned. Didn't sound like somthing Ruben would say.

"Either way, he didn't want you to know about it before, about us. But I figured that with your memory loss and all, its better if we both get to know each other without the secrets this time."

"Agreed." You said, respecting her honesty.

"I think this is the one." She said, stepping back to admire the way you looked in your dress.

You turned in the mirror. The dress was a bit revealing but undoubtedly gorgeous on you. "I think so too." You smiled.

Arriving to Rachel's penthouse was a quest on its own. As soon as you stepped through the door a sea of well dressed people shouted 'Happy birthday!'

"Thank you everyone." You felt awkward and very timid. You recognized none of the people that tended the party, no one but Ruben.

"Happy birthday." He emerged through the crowd like the sun on a cloudy day, dressed in a suit and bowtie. In that moment you realized how much you depended on Ruben. Depended on him to protect you and keep you safe.

"Thank you " You said, hooking your arm with his.

"Champagne for the twenty five year old?"

Rachel appared by your side, offering you the flute.

"You probably shouldn't..."

You emptied the glass before Ruben could protest. Rachel laughed at the wrinkled face you pulled right after.

"Let her enjoy Ruben. You only live once, right?"

The alcohol hit you right away, clouding your mind. "Can I have a another one?" You asked.

"Of course!"

"No, Y/N. I think one is enough." Ruben tugged your arm, wanting to pull you aside to talk in private.

For some reason you fought against him.

"Relax Dias." Rachel said, stealing you away from him. "It's her birthday."

Ruben did not look pleased with you, not at all actually. There was an unsettling feeling within you, the fact that Ruben wanted to control you.

"I'll be fine." You assured.

Although Ruben looked to want to protest, a group of well dressed men ambushed him, looking to jump him. "Eyyy Ruby. Why the long face?" They taunted. "Cheer up mate, it's a party, no?" Ruben still had his eyes on you until Rachel had you follow her out onto the balchony. There she had a waiter bring you two shots of somthing strong.

"At least you're allowed to drink again." She shouted through the loud music.

"Wait, I wasn't allowed to drink before? By who, Ruben?"

Rachel nodded her head. "I know some women do it, but Ruben would never let you try."

"Why not?" You frowned. Your nineteen year old self would never allow a man to make that kind of decisions for you.

"I dunno that's the way he is." Rachel shrugged. "He cares about you alot, you know. More than he cared for me."

Perhaps he cared a bit too much, you thought.

"Wait for me here, I'm going to check on the cake." Rachel left you with a view of Manchester City. It was breath taking and oddly familiar. And then it came to you, in the flash of a memory...

"Will you merry me Y/N?" It was Ruben down on one knee. His back turned to the very view that you were overlooking right now.

"Yes Ruben. I'll merry you."

And as quick as it came to you, the memory suddenly past, leaving you with a throbbing headache and a urgent sense to throw up.

"You alright, love?"

A man came to see you whilst you were emptying your stomach in the bathroom. He was tall, blond and had remarkably striking eyes.

"Don't tell me I'm suppose to remember you because I don't." You wiped your mouth with the back of your hand.

The man smiled. "I'll go get Ruben for you."

The room was spinning. You couldn't stay in the bathroom because of the smell. People, no, strangers passed you in the hallway, wishing you a happy birthday. You nodded and smiled but felt sick to your stomach. Just as you were starting to feel like you were going to suffocate under the weight of all the balloons and well-wishes, Ruben appeared by your side. "Hey, you okay? John told me that you weren't..." Ruben caught you, just when you thought you were about to fall.

"Ruben I don't feel so..."

"What is it Y/N?"

"My head." You groaned.

Ruben pinned you to his side, draping your arm over his shoulders for support. "I'm getting you out of here."

You left the penthouse in a rush. Ruben brought around the car and drove you home. You didn't even get to say goodbye to Rachel, nor thank her for throwing you a birthday party.

"I'll go get your medication."

Just like that you were back home. You and Ruben, in your big big house.

"Here take these." Ruben handed you a glass of water and three white pills.

He watched you put the pills in your mouth and you knew he wouldn't leave you alone until you swallowed them. You sat on the living room couch whilst Ruben stood pacing in front of you, back and forth, forth and back. He looked deep in thought, running a hand through his already messy hair. You guessed that he was upset with you but probably didn't want to shout at you.

"Did you have any thing more to drink...on the balchony, did you have anything more to drink?" His pacing came to an end.

You looked up at him and for some reason you wanted Ruben to complement your dress, or at least the way you looked in it. He didn't really pay attention to the way you looked. Perhaps he wasn't that attracted to you anymore.

"Y/N please answer the question."

"Yes." You admitted. "I had two shots of somthing. Maybe vodka."

Ruben closed his eyes and sighed. "Y/N, didn't I tell you that one was enough. Look what happned to you, it means you're not ready to..."

"To what, have fun?" You hissed. It was the first time that you were vocal about your objections. "Ruben, I was celebrating my birthday, why was that such a big deal to you?"

His eyes searched your face, not sure where all of this was coming from, why you were suddenly not agreeing with him. "It wasn't." He muttered.

"Yes it was, just admit it. You didn't want me to go out today, you wanted me to stay inside like I've done for the past three months."

"Y/N, I'm just trying to look out for you."

"Ruben, I don't know who I am. I don't know what I want. And I have absolutely no idea what you want. Everything is just so fucking confusing to me right now and your not helping when all you want to do is lock me inside this house." Tears streamed down your face. Ruben seemed to want to reach out and touch you but ultimately hesitated. Instead he collected himself and said. "I'm sorry Y/N. I never intended to make you feel locked in. And I don't want to prevent you from getting your old life back. I just..." He looked to his feet. "...I just don't want to see you get hurt again."

You saw it, the hurt in him, in his voice. He was suffering too.

"Ruben look at me." You rose from the couch, approaching him where he stood. Ruben lifted his chin to meet your eyes. Like your eyes his were glossy too. He was crying too.

You placed a hand against his cheek, caressing his stubble. "There is no way you can guarantee that I won't get hurt again. No one can. Just like I can't guarantee that you won't get hurt. But what we can do is stop being afraid of life. I want to live Ruben."

He nodded, the side of his face pressing against the palm of your hand.

"I want to live with you." You whispered.

"What?"

You nodded. "I remembered." You said, recalling what happened to you on the penthouse balchony. How the memory of you and Ruben flooded you with such strong and sudden emotions.

"W...what did you remember Y/N?"

You smiled. "The happiest day of my life."

Ruben caught your back as you stood on your toes. You didn't have to tip far before his lips collided with yours. You wrapped your arms around his neck, moving on to tangle your hands into his hair.

"Ruben." You gasped. He was backing you up against the couch. "Let's go upstairs instead."

Ruben grunted in response, refusing to detach his lips from yours. How you even got to your bedroom, you had no idea. Ruben had you step out of your dress and lie down on the bed. You watched him toss his bowtie somewhere in the corner, moving on to slowly unbutton his shirt.

"Are you sure about this?" He asked, his bare chest seductive in the night light.

"Yes."

For the first time in a long time you felt certain about somthing, Ruben was the love of your life. The way your body wanted him, your insides screamed for you to keep him close and never let go. There could be no other explanation, Ruben was the one.

"Spread your legs for me."

You did what you were told, spreading your legs wide as you fell back against the matress. Ruben pushed his knee between your thighs, his body hovering over you.

"Take off your panties."

"Do you have a condom?"

Ruben bent down to kiss your belly. "No." He mumbled.

"No?" You brought yourself to rest on your elbows, watching Ruben trace wet kisses further down your body. The pleasure was immense. "Was I usually on birth control?" You asked.

Ruben raised his head to look at you, a slight crook in his brow. "Um...no." He answered. "You were....we were..."

"Ruben?"

He shook his head. "No, we weren't using condoms. We wanted to try for a baby so..."

Your lips parted in suprise. "Ruben, I'm so sorry."

He crawled towards you, collecting your face into the palm of his hands, kissing your mouth, your nose and the crook of your eye. "It's okay." He smiled. "I get that you want to use condoms now."

"But I used to want to try for a baby, no?"

He nodded.

The thought was hard to grasp, you and Ruben, having a baby.

"We don't have to do anything if you don't want to." Ruben was content enough to share a bed with you again, let alone hold and kiss you. You shifted to lay in a spoon, Ruben's body cradling yours.

"I'm glad you remember us." He whispered, his voice laced with fatigue. "Just wait and see, there are many more happy memories to come back to you."

You said nothing, wondering if some of your memories were worth forgetting about. Like your desire to birth a child?