Reviewed by: ChristineAcedon 

Book Title: SHIVA-SHAKTI: The Separation

Author's Name: _itsvivi_

Cover: 9/10

The background of the cover looks perfect for this story. The only critique I have is suggesting that the title be moved closer to the top and/or made a bit larger so that it's easier for readers to see.

Title: 10/10

The title fits the story fits the story as it gives a clear indication of what or who the story is about. I'm not familiar with these gods, but as you've indicated throughout, this is a retelling of an already existent story. I believe this title offers clarity for those who may be looking specifically for this type or work or simply for readers who are familiar with the original scripture.

Blurb/Description: 10/10

Not only do you clearly state the main character and this conflict; you also use this to indicate that this is not an original, but a retelling. I think, given the shortness of the story and the type of story it is, it was wise not to give too much away within the description. You still managed to draw in the viewer, making them want to read more.

Creativity and originality: 10/10

Though this isn't an original, you took your own liberties. I like that you gave these characters human form and human emotion. The fact that you chose to do a retelling of this particular story tells me that it means something to you. You gave them personality and relatability, making it easier for readers to connect and go through the emotions with the characters.

Plot and Flow: 18/20

There was a nice use of flashbacks within your work and you did a fantastic job of explaining Shiva's reservations about Parvati going to see her father. Though the story is very short, it doesn't feel rushed at all and there is no skimping on important details or scenes. The ONLY thing I would say I was missing that I would've liked to see, was something from Parvati's point of view. Her journey to see her father, or her interactions with her father when she arrived at her destination.

I think that seeing parts of this story from her point of view could strengthen our understanding of the relationship between Shiva and Parvati. I would've also liked to see how she interacted with her father and if his issue was strictly with her husband.

Admittedly, I am not familiar with the original story between these two or the lore behind it, so I apologize if these suggestions do not coincide with the original texts.

Character Development: 17/20

There is quite a bit of development in regard to Shiva and Parvati's relationship, and even a little bit to explain the tension between Shiva and Parvati's father. Through Shiva's mind we're also able to see some characteristics of Parvati as it pertains to their relationship. You can see their playfulness and love for each other. You can also see Shiva's devotion to his wife.

How we see Parvati is limited to how she is seen and portrayed by Shiva's view of her. I would really enjoy seeing a glimpse of her love for him and how she showed her devotion/love as well.

Writing style: 10/10

You did very well writing this story. You were able to not only tell us of the love between Shiva and Parvati, but show it through their actions; the flowers in their room, the red dye, and their banter. Sometimes I think showing is underrated in stories, but you do an amazing mix of both show and tell.

Added to this, the notes you add in in order to help your readers understand what is going on and where the differences are between your version and the original are a great tool.

Grammar, spellings, etc.: 10/10

I didn't notice any really grammatical or spelling errors throughout this story. You did a very good job of editing your work.

Overall: 94/100

I really enjoyed this story. Though I'm not familiar with the inspiration, as it stands on its own, you make it very easy to envision these two and the love that they share for one another. You could feel his emotion throughout the story, and his worry over his wife. I had to look up the significance of dying her feet and it's such a beautiful scene/meaning.

I would've liked to see some thoughts from Parvati and not only Shiva. I think that if you ever decided to lengthen this story (which I would highly encourage), it would be great to see her in more than memories and flashbacks. Even seeing interactions between the two of them and her father would make an interesting addition to the story. Another thing I would love (but hate) to see is the portrayal of how Shiva reacts in the end. I'd like to see a more detailed depiction of his emotions in that final moment of the story.

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