❄ Shadow and Steel | Victoria ❄

Reviewed by: CroodsGirl

Book title: Shadow and Steel 

Author's name: FHLevin


Title: 5/5

Cover: 4/5

Blurb: 8/10

Plot: 8/10

Grammar/Vocabulary: 18/20

Writing Craft: 17/20

Characters: 15/20

Overall Enjoyment: 10/10

Total: 85/100

Review:

This book is a breath of fresh air for a short story collection and the Science Fiction genre. You open with impressive world-building and showing, which is hard to accomplish with writing. Thanks to your showing and description, I immediately got Star Wars vibes and was pulled into your world. I enjoyed your first story more than your second one (although they were both excellent), so I'll focus on Shadow and Steel.

You told me to pay attention to your characters. Silas and Kira are excellent—with feasible goals—but I felt they lacked character development. You mention that they're torn up over losing their family during the war, but I did not feel that grief; therefore, I couldn't emotionally connect to the two, so I gave you 15/20 for the characters. I think you should take some time to put together character interviews for these two characters to learn them better and make it easier for you to develop them. I always use character interviews in my writing, and they help. You can find them online if you type Character Interviews. Regardless, they did have flaws, but I didn't expect Silas' Han Solo-like character to turn cowardly toward the end of the story, and I don't know how I feel about this. He and Kira need more to their arcs to make them even better than they already are.

Aside from the characters, while you did have an impressive amount of "showing" over "telling", there were still a few moments where you info-dumped a few things. I saw this in Parts 1 and 2 of Shadow and Steel when you info-dump the Terrans a bit. Don't tell us they're nasty people—show us. I suggest you expand these two stories into novelettes or novellas to touch on the missing elements of the writer's craft so you don't have that info-dumping. It's just something to consider. A great example of a sci-fi for your reference is Usuala K. Le Guin's book The Left Hand of Darkness. She approaches info-dumping in an exciting way (one or two sentences), so it doesn't feel like it, and I think you should study her style to improve in this field. Regardless of its flaws, I did love your world—it was just a mouthful at times, especially for short stories.

You have a few grammar issues, but they're minor. They mainly consist of periods replacing commas (Shadow and Steel Part 2 when Kira and Silas explain the war and who they lost) and the occasional sentence fragment. I would run your stories through one more round of editing because they're easy fixes.

Putting these flaws aside, you write impressive action with quick sentences and sound effects such as POP! in Part 2 of Shadow and Steel. The action and world-building were the main reasons I gave you 85/100. It's fantastic, but your character development and info-dumping flaws are under those strengths. While they're your weaknesses, seeing how much potential these stories have in their current state, I have no doubt you can improve in these areas.

This is an awe-inspiring collection of short stories, and I enjoyed it tremendously.

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