Reviewed by: ChristineAcedon

Book Title: Pristine's Problem

Author's Name: sparklet11

Cover: 10/10

You've got a very simple cover, but it works well with the color scheme. Everything goes together nicely.

Title: 10/10

I'm always a fan of an alliteration, so I love your title.

Blurb/Description: 8/10

There's a lot going on in your description. You introduce your main players, leaving your readers naturally curious about how they're all connected. It definitely works to draw readers in, however I would consider simplifying it slightly. For example;

Entangled in the untimely death of a boy she'd secretly loved, Pristine finds herself on the run and entangled in a world...

Something like this could just shorten and simplify the description, perhaps remove some of the characters (Andrei) just because it's a lot of people right off of the bat. Obviously, just a suggestion.

Creativity and originality: 10/10

Your creativity shines through your story right out of the gate. From the first chapter, you have a uniqueness to the world you've created. I was drawn into the originality of it immediately. I love the old woman and the shop immediately and you threw a real curveball right off the bat. I wasn't ready for it.

Plot and Flow: 18/20

There is a lot going on in your story, and I enjoy the twists and turns. I think that your story flows along nicely, without feeling overly rushed. As I will delve into in the section about character development; there are a number of characters right from the jump that you need to keep straight in your head, and I do believe that affects how easily the story is to follow, but as the story goes on and your readers get more familiar with the personality of each character, hopefully that will become less of a problem.

Character Development: 19/20

The only issue I have with the character development is about the quantity and NOT the quality. There are so many characters being thrown at us within the first couple chapters that you would need to take notes to keep them straight (at least I would. Maybe I'm going senile). You give us an insight into your three main characters more so than the others, but with so many siblings (ie. Arabella, Abigail, Avril, Author, etc) it gets a bit scrambled, trying to keep it all organized in my head.

I understand that they are all important to the plot of the story, and I'm not sure exactly how you might slow down the introductions given the start, but it may be something to mull over and decide if it's something that would even work for the world you're trying to build.

Writing style: 9/10

I especially like that in your story, we get to see both sides of the coin: good and evil (so to speak). Villains rarely ever simply wake up bad, so the fact that you give a look into the backstory of it is great. More of his childhood (the incidents that have occurred throughout his life to make him so bitter and angry) would be a great addition, I feel, in the overall plot.

Grammar, spellings, etc.: 9/10

There are a few errors throughout, one example is in chapter five, "Things are even worser than you think." Worser is not a word, and shouldn't be used here. "Things are even worse than you think." Would be the correct phrasing.

Overall: 93/100

Overall, you have yourself a unique and interesting story. I really enjoyed your first chapter and I'm interested in continuing to read and learn more about your characters and their lives.

I would suggest having someone go through for editing purposes, if possible, just to get an outside perspective on grammar, spelling, etc. If you're not able to do that, I would recommend reading it out loud to yourself. Sometimes that helps to spot issues that you would've otherwise skimmed over. Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to check out your story!

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